This review is being submitted by a student of Dynamic Reviewing. Thank you for allowing me to read and comment on your writing.I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and alwaysKEEP WRITING!
My Personal Impressions: When I first heard your plug, I thought how informational will this be? Will I have enough information to help this author with a review? After reading it,I was greatly impressed. I am thrilled to say that I believe you have the makings of a great book. Now to help you as much as I can.
Tone: The tone was suspenseful as well as comical in some areas. Try to save some of the comical as they lighten the mood. Example would be this:‘Be realistic Celderion, even if we give someone the power to unite them it could take years even decades for him to accomplish his goal, we don’t have that long. We should simply destroy them now before they ruin all of our cities and destroy our precious world!’ ‘Enough!’ Terraeon, keeper of the earth shouted as he elegantly strode into the round room. (note: Underlined is the comical.)
Style: The style used was also well done. This was light.
Voice: Was light which is good with younger readers. Good age group to go for is: teen or young adult.
Point of View: Third-person here was an excellent choice as it allowed the reader to get a lot of information.
Plot Development: The main plot is also a very good one. As it allows for you to take this idea and make a series of books. Though if you do that remember each book has to have their own conflict without finishing dealing with the main conflict of the series.
Characterization/Dialogue: This was excellent as you introduced some major characters for both a single book as well as a series of books. You also introduced the hero or you could have the child grow up and prove Aequan right, then the elders will have to deal with two issues instead of one. If you have the child be the hero then I suggest that Aequan be the villian. You have already pitted him against the humans here so what would he do to prove that he was right about them? How would he go to see them destroyed?
Setting/Imagery: You did beautifully on the imagery you did show. Suggestion: describe the sprites more when you write the book or books.
Technical Considerations (Grammar/Punctuation/Format): I saw no errors in this area.
Readability: This was an excellent and easy read. One that I fully enjoyed.
My Suggestions: Besides my suggestions above, I have only one.That is to finish this world you have so masterfully created. I rate this the same as I would if Tolken asked for a review of his plug for The Lord of the Rings series. Let me know when you have written more concerning this small writing. As I eagerly await to read more about this world. Well Done!!!
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