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291 Total Reviews Given
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Okay, at first I thought that this was going to be silly given the circumstances around the actual loony toon character that got canceled in Hollywood but this piece genuinely made me laugh. Especially when you brought judge Judy into the mix. I could hear her voice in my head. I wish you had expounded on the dialogue between them a lot more as it would've been awesome to see Judy rip both Acme and Wile apart for their outrageous antics. Great read nonetheless.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Octavious being that this is playing off the previous chapter, I'm going to read several chapters before I give my review. So far, I'm digging it.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Alright. Octavious back again with another review of Invisible Threads. I have to say, I'm really enjoying this piece about the entertainment industry. Normally all we hear about the place are conspiracy theories about how Hollywood is from shunned entertainers, but here we get to see the real innerworkings of executives and directors or people trying to become directors while managing the craziness of the entertainment industry.

Here, Gary somewhat nails his performance at the talent show and is about to move to the next level. The story is simply written where anyone can understand when they read it and the characters are relatable as they struggle to get ahead in the game.

The only issue I have is with the title of this novel; Invisible threads.

When I first saw the title I thought it was going to be a murder mystery of some sorts, I don't have a problem with it, but I'm sure fans of the genre will. Thanks for writing this piece. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Octavious here with a review of Chapter 2 of Invisible Threads.

We continue with the story and we get an hilarious encounter with the MC and the interviewer. I like how straight forward and honest he is about himself and i understand the idea behind his character as you've perfectly explained it between the two characters. The self-aware nerd.

This is a continuation of the previous chapter and I'm still wondering where all this is going to lead to. Are things are going to expand into something bigger or are we going to stay in the entertainment industry. I'm going with the latter as there's a lot I'm learning about how people quickly put together an act that an audience likes. Show business!!!

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Octavious here with a Review of Invisible threads. Ok first let me start by saying that i clicked on read and review to find this piece. I recommend writers, novelists in particular, to post their novels on the please review page of writing.com so they can draw more attention as well as review someone else's work to gain more readers for their pieces. It's always a good idea to get different eyes on your work, including the ones who don't like your work to read it. It can give you a better idea of which audience you appeal to. One review isn't enough to get an idea of where your writing stands.

With that being said, This piece isn't so bad. I enjoyed how the writer created a weird awkward introvert in a world where one must be the exact opposite to thrive. The setting is unique and well thought out which tells me that the author has some experience in the entertainment industry as I didn't know how auditions worked in the real world.

The downside is things are a bit slow to get interesting but as we all know novels need some time to get to full speed. So far, i'm curious as to where this is going and I'm committed to reviewing the second chapter.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello, Octavious here with a review of The Monster Inside the Bottle. A drama revolving around alcoholism and loss.

Reading this piece was difficult not because of the writing, but because of the subject matter. It's told from the perspective of a helpless young man trapped with someone struggling with addiction. The writer does an excellent job showing you the sheer trauma the MC goes through in a single day. The anger, the hurt, and the isolation are all there. My heart went out to the MC as there was a steep hill to climb with a man who didn't know how to put down the bottle. I'm not much for drama pieces but this read had me filled with anger sympathy and disgust and I'm sure anyone who reads this will feel the same.

Good job on writing this piece
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Review of Sam Platte 2  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Sir, Octavious here with another review of this Western piece. In this piece we introduce our group of antagonists as they prepare to execute their plan on the protagonists. I like how the writer does so many things with so few words. He props up the MC by having him called the Buffalo Man by the natives, we get a back and forward between the chief and his henchmen and we get a great dive into their culture from the dialogue alone. Great stuff.

I enjoyed this piece and I hope to read more in the future sir.

Keep Writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review of Sam Platte  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Sir, Octavious here with a review of Sam Platte. I'm going to be honest with you on this piece sir. Reading the first sentence shocked the hell out of me. Never read a piece like this before and I was worried until I saw the picture of your profile. With that being said I decided to dive in and take a read.

This is my first stab at a western and It certainly reads like one. The dialogue, the setting, and the plot places me in that environment. I love the writing style as well, reminds me a lot like mines; simple, to the point and moves forward nicely. There's not a lot to go off of as this is a simple scene, so I'm going to end the review here and move on to he next chapter.

Keep Writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again. Octavious here with another review of the blue blaze chapter 2. In this chapter we delve a little deeper into the story with the protagonist deciding for himself what he wishes to do with himself and he is aided by a friend. We also have a good training sequence that's decently written, no problems there and we learn a little more about MC's mom and dad. As in the first chapter the story is progressing nicely along with character development.

However there was one issue I had with the plot and thats with the MC's friend. Reading this chapter I find out that the MC have had multiple encounters with the bullies from the first chapter and we find out here that his best friend knows Mui Thai. I'm not sure how well he is into the Martial art, but I was disturbed as the friend could've fought the bullies off for him. I know as growing men, we must learn to solve our own problems, but my man was getting brutally beaten. He could've done SOMETHING. That was the only flaw I saw with this.

Also. I noticed you properly formated the first chapter of your story. You will need to do the same with this one as it was a bit difficult to read. Look forward to reading chapter three.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Salutations readers. Octavious here with a review of The Blue Blaze the first chapter of a young man suffering at the hands of oppressors. The first paragraph hit me just as hard as the bully hit the MC. It was brutal, good, detailed really well and had me taken aback. Great start.

The characters are decently fleshed out and reacted appropriately to the situation and the Mother of the MC is a very interesting as its the first time I've seen anyone take that type of stance towards their son. Good stuff. There's a character you can sympathize with a character you hate and a character you want to succeed.

This is definatly how to start a chapter so great Job.

Keep writing and I'll Keep reading.
Happy Holidays.
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Review of Old Magic  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good day Octavious here with another review of the first chapter of Old Magic. First let me commend you on word usage and character presentation. Masterful job on those fronts. Ayu and the relationship with his father his fathers relationship with his troops the magic...stunning. Even the very last sentence left me intrigued and it gives an idea how things may play out in the next chapter. I wish there was more in this chapter plot wise, like the battle and its turn out but I'm sure to find out in the next chapter.

This is the first chapter and its a little short on plot so I can't give you and overall review of the the story but from what I just read, you're off to a great start.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Happy Holidays.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello this is octavious with a review of Pony life. Now please understand that i'm not a My Little Pony fan nor did I watch any of the shows so please take this review with a grain of salt. Based on reading this piece, this seems to be a more...serious story given that the antagonist comes off like a rude troll and what it takes for him to come to his senses is the threat of physical harm. I'm not sure if this is the type of thing My little Pony is known for, then I probably would've given it a chance.

This is primarily a dialogue piece with minimum action taking place, but the writing is solid and I did enjoy the read. Though the only characters that stood out to me, was the rude troll and the pony that grew in size. I laughed when Draven's attitude changes when he sees someone capable of stomping him into the ground. Besides the minor issues I had, I enjoyed the short read and hope to continue with the series. Thank you for writing.
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Review of Oneka: Chapter 3  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Going straight into this. I do enjoy the progression here. I often frown upon time skips as most don't established their characters well enough to justify one but here it works well as it introduces the main character about to make 20. I love the relationship between father and daughter and you've added a little extra on the side. I love it. The fight scene here is very unique filled with cool ideas which made for an very exiting read. Cool can't wait to read the next chapter.
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Review of Oneka: Chapter 2  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello again. Octavious here for a review of chapter 2 of Oneka. Here, we dive a little more into the villain's part of this story and their main purpose. Excellent progression and we find out some of the rules of the youkai in this world. The names throw me off a bit as they are names from some famous people in Japanese history and video games but I was intrigued from beginning to end. Care for another round?
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Review of Oneka: Chapter 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello there this is Octavious/Donald for a review of Oneka chapter 1. First let me just say that I have a fondness of eastern stories and are often the inspiration behind my stories so I came into this eager to read something cool. Judging by the way things fared here, I take it that this is a backstory or origin chapter for the main protagonist Oneka. Story flowed pretty well and setting is on point.

The fight scenes was a little rough to read though as it was difficult to picture in my head. Other than that, I liked how things started and will read the next chapter. Until then, keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Sali comments-This is a very good piece about broken trust in relationships-seems personal. I know exactly how you feel. That happened to me before I met my husband.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm glad you re-did this one as I fully understand her frustration. Living like outcasts because of something her son did all those years ago. The shop closure is an effective way to give conflict to your character.

She had decided that he would have to learn the hard way that she was just a gold digging little bitch!

Wow I felt that one lol.

Ok, here i'm just going to give you an objective view point. One question I have Mortogs supposed girlfriend. If he's honor less, why is she dating him? I know he's a skilled warrior but you say she's dating him for popularity's sake. I may be thinking it wrong but from what i'm reading Darcy and her whole family are stains on society. Ofcourse the people around them probably hate the king just as much as she does so its probably more complicated than what i'm thinking.

One more thing to consider, I haven't read the next chapter yet but based on what happens in the future in your story, I would recommend having a argument with her husband. Its a good set up for what happens later on. Or if you don't want to, you can have him killed off by the king somehow. Either way this is a good piece. Keep it up man.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello sir Octavious again here for a review. Five stars from the start. I'm glad i found someone to touch bases with regarding this topic as I myself am in an happy marriage and it took a lot of hard work to do. But its been a happy work so to speak I'll tell you my story in an email so i pray you have the patience to read it. Something I learned from God about Marriage. Overall I learned a lot from reading this and everything you said here is true to the core. Thank you sir for posting this.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello sir. Octavious here with a review although i don't have much of one. Just commenting on this piece lol. You know I've been wanting to do something similar to this cause its been floating around my head. I like the interation between the woman and the narrator but i wouldn't have given in that easily. Can you give me a man? Sure I'll give you a man, if you can make it accross the street into the next building. Thanks you sir for giving me the inspiration for my comedy.
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Review of Fears of a Newbie  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just be yourself and have fun. It's how I write my stories the themes will come as you progress. Of course I'm a discovery writer so take what I say with a grain of salt.
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Review of Hey Gary  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Octavius here for a review. I'm no expert but I had a decent time reading this. Two boy's curiosity leads them to a haunted house where they run into ax murderer.

One thing I want to point out is the explanation points. You don't need them in the narration just in dialogue.

Being that this is a short story, what was your purpose in writing this?

Good Job.
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Review of In my head!  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Lol. Ok you won me over. Cute, honest and all over the place. 5 stars. Keep writing.
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Review of Sacred Rite  Open in new Window.
Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Octavius here with a review.

Awesome. Cult premise is real creepy and I like how you left out certain details like why are the voting on females only? The last part sent chills down my spine. Who or what the hell was that. Great Job.
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Octavius here for a review.

First let's get the issues out the way. And it's a small issue. The discription was hard to follow for me but it's probably my lack of imagination so don't take my word for it.

Other than that, great start. I liked how you present the M.Cs problem. There's plenty of mystery here as well Reading was very enjoyable despite the length so good for you on that one. This is a readable story so I'm sure others will want to read on. Good Job
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Review by Octavius Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello this is Octavius here for a review. Although this piece is short, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I noticed you used futuristic words to describe someone's mental state which is an awesome idea. I'm wondering if you finished this story cause I would love to read more. If not I'll just crawl back into my hole in dispair. Just kidding Lol. I'll look through more of your work cause I'm sure there's other stories that needs to be read. Great Job
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