|Hello, Angel !
This is a review of your entry to the No Dialogue Contest. I am also a member of the Paper Doll Gang Rockin' Reviewers Group and have just read "Independence" . I would like to share my thoughts.
PLEASE REMEMBER: These are only my thoughts and opinions. Take what you can use and throw out the rest.
This is a lovely story and a perfect representation of independence. How exciting for Samuel that he was able to go to University. All of his and his parents' hard work paid off.
I believe you had a little difficulty with sentence structure but the overall story was excellent.
I liked this story because it told of not only the parents' dreams and aspirations for their son, but also of the challenges Samuel had to overcome.
My Favorite Part:
My favorite part is learning of how proud Ann and David were of their son. Above everyone's expectations, Samuel rose and was able to make it on his own at University. What a bittersweet moment.
This story is about a boy who achieved milestones much later than other children his age. Finally it was determined that this boy was autistic. Under the circumstances he wasn't expected to become as independent as he had. What a fantastic story.
Samuel was a strong person, as well as his parents, overcoming numerous obstacles. They all fought hard to create as normal of an atmosphere as possible. The characters were very real to me.
My only suggestion would be to really look at the sentence structures. Some of the sentences were compound sentences.
For Ann and David, this was a special day, it was Samuel’s turn to leave, their youngest, they’d already seen Dylan and Tanya married, and Daniel was set up in a flat on the other side of town. This sentence was difficult to read. I think it can be split up into a couple of sentences. Maybe something like this: For Ann and David, this was a special day because it was Samuel's, their youngest's, turn to leave. They had already seen Dylan and Tanya married, and Daniel was set up in a flat on the other side of town.
I really liked this story and your take on the one-word prompt, Independence. Great job!