It is good and very entertaining and somewhat funny too. I like the sentence "It was an average day" and then you relate it to other scenes or plots of your story. It is somewhat creative. Keep on writing!
Your theme is good especially for the younger ones. I hope you lengthen your essay and write about the disadvantages of pre marital sex, cite instances of true to life story of younger ones who had pre marital sex and its outcome in his or her life. This will serve as a warning and lesson for the generations to come. Keep on writing!
You are creative and have a broad imagination. It is good that you use figurative language in comparing snow falls as it is one of the elements of a good poem. I like the fourth stanza. You succeeded in showing your theme clearly and after reading your poem I feel relax. Keep on writing!
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