|.BCD REVIEW RAID.
Wow! That's beautiful. Truly amazing work. The overall theme of the work sounds like something Shakespeare himself might have written about. For claiming to be inept at classic poetry, I think your pretty good at it!
I only have one issue. Now, I may be wrong, but I believe all lines in a Shakespearean sonnet have to be ten syllables. There are a few lines toward the end that are a little shorter/longer.
"The brightest stars do live among men 
Without squandering their souls away 
Without getting so lost again and again. "
"The caprice of stars is just an illusion "
Anyway, once again, nice work!
.BCD REVIEW RAID.