*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/education02
Review Requests: OFF
46 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
As a member of the WDC Power Reviewers, I take pride in my reviews and will not submit them until I have put a lot of effort into them. I use a template for all of my reviews, and you can expect them to be thorough to an extent (over 1000 characters). I try to be encouraging in my reviews, but that does not stop me from pointing out something that isn't working, or is just plain wrong. If you are looking to improve your writing, then I'm your guy. Don't hire me if you're not willing to receive correction.
I'm good at...
I can point out what you're doing wrong, and also tell you how to fix it. I genuinely care about you, and am willing to talk through some things with you, especially if they're nitty-gritty grammar details. I don't usually point those out, but I will go through all of them with you upon request.
Favorite Genres
Action/Adventure, Comedy, Computers, Detective, Drama, Education, How-to/Advice, Inspirational, Mystery, News, Opinion, Philosophy, Political, Psychology, Research, Scientific, Spiritual, Sports, and Technology
Least Favorite Genres
Crime/Gangster, Dark, Death, Erotica, Gay/Lesbian, Ghost, Gothic, Horror/Scarry, Mythology, and Occult
Favorite Item Types
Static items
Least Favorite Item Types
I will read a novel for you if you pay good, but I generally don't want to do anything that takes a long time.
I will not review...
I will not review works that are inappropriate, or are against my religion. Violence is okay, but I will not accept swearing. Do not submit a request for your writing if it includes or is related to one of the above genres that are my least favorite. Do not worry if your writing is a novel/book, or is not included on my list of favorite genres. Chances are I will still review it.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Stephe R. Seede, my name is Ben, and I'm a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. This is a review of your article, entitled "Reading, Writing, & the Joys of Literacy".


Ideas and Development

         I felt like this area was very weak. At the very beginning you provided a summary, which was very strange. Should this not the summary be at the end of the article? By the time I had read through the entire article, I had completely forgotten what your subject was. Upon looking, I found your summary on the top of the page, and tried to deduce the main topic of the paper. I believe that your main subject was that reading/writing was the dominant cornerstone of the imagination until it got replaced by the internet and electronics. I didn't really see this in your paper, however.
         Overall, I think that you have a good idea on your hands, which ought to be communicated to your audience in the best way possible. However, it felt more like a discussion on a broad scale, where the conversation quickly jumps from one topic to the next. If you want to be effective in this area, then you take your idea and you present it in your opening paragraph. Then, every following paragraph builds on the main subject, and every sentence builds on the previous one. Make the audience feel that you are taking them somewhere, and then give the solution/conclusion/summary in the last paragraph. Try to stamp your main idea into their minds so that they will not forget it.

Organization

         I feel like you have a good, important idea. I also feel that you did not organize your information, but, then again, your information was hardly related to idea. The following is a list of the main points of every paragraph.

Main theme: Reading and writing is getting replaced by the internet and electronics, and is now getting taken for granted.

Paragraph 1: Children learn to read and write in kindergarten, and the books that teachers read to them are along the lines of Curious George, Marvel characters, etc.
Paragraph 2: People say that they don't like to read because it is time-consuming.
Paragraph 3: It seems as though the only books that people are interested in are self-help books.
Paragraph 4: Fictional books are not a dying breed.
Paragraph 5: In the 1990s most fictional writers became co-signment authors, but had to deal with the following problems: ...
Paragraph 6: It can be costly to finance a book you want to publish, but in the end you make a large profit.
Paragraph 7: However, it is not guaranteed that your book will sell, so people just do everything online.
Paragraph 8: I'm assuming that some writers still use the co-signment option.
Paragraph 9: Good writers are not too judgmental, and bad writers try to get even with people that they don't like by making them a bad character in their story.
Paragraph 10: If you are going to do this however, then you should alter the names and mix up the personalities so that you don't get caught.
Paragraph 11: Writing a book can be very rewarding, but you          should really polish up the grammar and word usage if you are going to.
Paragraph 12: Writing can be self-inspirational, and you can even be inspired by your readers.
Paragraph 13: You should read "How to Write and Sell your First Novel" if you really want to become an author.
THE END

         Are you starting to see what I'm seeing? I get the impression from your paper that there is hardly a single paragraph that is contributing to the main theme above, unless I read everything incorrectly. Try to adjust your paragraphs so that they build on each other and work towards a common goal.

Voice & Tone

         It is of my impression that you could do really well in this area, if it weren't for the poor organization that distracts the reader. You sound like the type of author that can really persuade the crowd and inspire them. I believe that this work can do wonders with some rewriting and adjustments.

Word choice

         If I am correct, then you have a well-developed vocabulary. This can be beneficial, and earn the respect of the reader. You also did not overdo the entire paper with flowery language and "twenty-dollar" words, which is always a plus. I didn't find anything distracting, like repeating words or phrases or flamboyant, incomprehensive language.

Fluency

         Your fluency was excellent, and I know this because nothing sounded "bumpy", besides the change of topics. By this I mean that your sentences flowed together well, and you took advantage of transitional words, which really helped.

Conventions & Presentation

         Your conventions was a little lacking. Your spelling was decent, but your grammar could use some work. There was also a lot of typos, and common mistakes such as "There" instead of "They're", and things like that. This can easily fixed by rereading the paper however, and fixing mistakes as you go.
         Your presentation was excellent. A plus in your presentation was bolding subtitles over different sections of work, even if they weren't related. You also took advantage of formats such as bolding, italicizing, and indented your paragraphs. All of this was visually appealing, and really affect your overall presentation in a positive way.

Favorite Part

"You'll be surprised at how your mind will open up to things you were uninformed about as your knowledge grows from all the research you do, and hopefully you can attribute this knowledge to other aspects of your life too, in a positive way."


Conclusion

         I honestly think that you are a talented, knowledgeable writer. However, this particular composition needs some rewriting, but that's the summary of just about any paper out there, especially mine. I hope that you take my suggestions and opinions under consideration, and put more articles on your portfolio. I look forward to them!

Write On!!


Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Firefly  
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Poolé, my name is Ben. This is a review on your poem, entitled "Firefly."


Overall Impression:

This poem was especially good, and I loved reading it. You stirred my emotions, and your structure, grammar, and spelling were all excellent. Your talent tells me that you need to keep writing!

Your strengths:

This poem had wonderful voice! Great voice means that you sound very inspirational, or you make the reader feel emotional. It was full of energy and spirit, which is vital for wonderful pieces of writing. Keep it up!

Your weaknesses:

The only thing that your poem lacked was some better grammar. Don't be too worried about it, though! Poets don't typically worry about their poem's grammar, so don't be discouraged. I would be happy to point out all of the minor details where you went wrong. Just send me a reply saying that you'd like to see all of your mistakes. I will willingly go into depth with you!

Conclusion:

You are excellent in poems, especially making them rhyme and still make sense. The rhyming scheme was unique, and sounded great. Keep writing poems! They are very enjoyable.

~Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers. Write on!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an interesting survey, and it has made me think that I should post one similar to it! Honestly, most of the readers out there are going to be baited to your work by the GPs. However, if you writing is GOOD, I think that they will be more willing to review it. Hope this helps!
4
4
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ember, my name is Ben, and I'm a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. This is a review of your article, entitled "A Logic in Shadows."


Overall Impression:
Wow! I absolutely loved reading this article. I believe it is a very important message that needs to be relayed to the current generation, and you did an excellent job of doing so. You brought up the problem through a personal experience that you had. This made what you were saying very relatable and understandable. However, you didn't just bring up a problem in a relatable way and then drop it. You offered a solution, which capped off the article perfectly. I believe that more people need to read this. Not only was the information great, but the way that you wrote it was very inspiring. It was like you took a spin, dipped it into my emotions, and stirred it around. I feel very inspired by your writing! You have fully accomplished your job as a writer! Excellent work!

Favorite Part:
Little did I know that although this fierce battle was ensuing in my mind, I failed to take into consideration that this outlook was not solely my own.

I also have had this conversation relayed through my head several times! I will try to be more sociable from now on. :P

Conclusion:
You are a master at nonfiction writings that intend to inspire the reader or simply inform them. Keep on doing it! As soon as I finish this review, I'm heading to your portfolio. :P I loved your work!

Write On!!


Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Pat, my name is Ben, and I'm a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. This is a review of your Acrostic, entitled "More Than a Mentor".


Overall Impression:
I honestly haven't read a single acrostic on this website until now, and I think you did this beautifully! Bolding the first letter of every line really helps the reader see the word that you are spelling out. You portrayed a message while doing this, which is very important for any type of poem. Good job!

Areas That Need Work:
I really couldn't see any areas for improvement, even in grammar...good job!

Favorite Part:
More than a teacher--she's my friend

Conclusion:
Keep on writing different styles of poetry! You did a good job on this, and experimenting with different styles is a great way to enhance your creativity. Keep it up!

Write On!!


Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of The Colour Blue  
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Maddy, my name is Ben, and I'm a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. This is a review of your writing, entitled "The Color Blue."

Overall Impression:
I felt that this writing was more of a poem then just a paragraph. Poems don't necessarily have to rhyme, but they do have many line breaks. Hitting the enter key after every sentence or phrase will cause many line breaks, which will make your writing feel more poetic. Other than that, the writing in itself is good! It could have more added to it, but your writing style has talent. :)

Areas That Need Work:
You should add more line breaks, as I mentioned above. You should also make sure that when you're contrasting two different things, they should be the opposite. On the last sentence, you wrote "As cold as...and as high as..." These are two different things. You also need commas dividing the two different sentences, and I would try adding some more comparisons into it to make it a bit more lengthy. Poems are about quality, not quantity, but I feel that this piece is especially short. Besides that, you did a good job! This really is all that needs some work on in your poem.

My Suggestions:
When adding more line breaks to your poem, it should look something like this:

The color that is as deep and fathomless
As the bottom of the sea,
And as light and airy
As the tickle of a feather.


Do you see what I mean? This makes your writing seem longer and more poetic. I highly recommend doing this.

Favorite Part:

As cold as the streams which you run your fingers through...


I don't know why, but when I read this I could almost imagine the pleasant and refreshing feeling of a cold stream that you dip your hands or put your feet in. This piece was exceptionally great at visualizing your writing!

Conclusion:
With just a couple of simple fixes, I think that you have some great writing on your hands! Just follow my suggestions, and ask any questions if necessary. I think that you can come up with some beautiful poetry!

Write On!!


Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Ben
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Chaos! :D

My name is Ben, and I am a member of the WDC Power Reviewers. This is a review on your poem, called "Back to the Shadows." :)

Overall impression:
Your poem was very emotional, which is what I think you were shooting for. The message that you delivered pulled me into a feeling of sadness that you were expressing. You did a good job of expressing yourself in this piece. Good job! :D

Grammar:
Your grammar in this poem was not your strong point, but poets don't usually fret about it, so don't worry. You had a couple of places where you placed a period and then continued the sentence, and other times you were missing some punctuation. You were also not capitalizing any of your "I"s. It is not completely necessary to make these corrections, but doing so will make you look like you know what you are doing, and you will gain the respect of your audience.

Rhyming and Rhythm Structure:
I really don't have anything to say about your rhyming scheme. You used aabb, which is very common for poets too use. You were also consistent in using this pattern throughout the poem, and you rhymed the words correctly. Good job! :D Your rhythm was a bit off in some places, but that is very typical for many poets. Once again, you are not bound to maintaining a constant rhythm, but it can make the poem sound better. (I myself don't have much of a rhythm in my poems! :P) If you do wish to adjust the rhythm of your poem, then read it out loud and adjust the parts that are offbeat. (Adjust the amount of syllables.)

Conclusion:
I think you did a wonderful job in this poem! You hit the main objective of poetry write on the mark - express your emotions and portray a message to the audience. Other than that, there were some minor grammar and rhythm issues that you don't really need to worry about, but you can fix them if you really want to polish up your poem. Keep on writing!

~Ben from the WDC Power Reviewers


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.5)
You did a great job at writing an informative composition but still making it interesting! You made sure you captured the audience's attention from the very first paragraph, which is very key when writing papers like this. I believe that I learned something knew about lighthouses, and I enjoyed doing it! The only thing I have to say is that you didn't indent a couple of paragraphs, otherwise this was a great piece of writing. Keep on writing!
9
9
Review of Who Am I?  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very beautiful piece of writing! I found this because I have a couple of spiritual poems myself, if you'd like to check them out. I personally think that this poem is simply beautiful while portraying a message, and the rhyming was very effective. Great job! I'd love to read more from you!
10
10
Review by Ben
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh my goodness! This poem made me so emotional, my heart was just throbbing as I continued to read this wonderful work. The rhyming scheme was perfect, and the rhythm was very key in making this such a great poem. You need to keep writing, because you definitely have the talent for it! This is going onto my list of favorites!
11
11
Review of His Due  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.0)
That was an excellent poem with a great rhyming scheme and rhythm. Your really set the feel for the poem through your writing style and completely captured me in the message you were portraying. It was overall a really good read - keep on writing! :D
12
12
Review of The Train Trip  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (5.0)
That was amazing! You have some real talent when it comes to writing, and you should continue to write. I didn't even find any spelling or grammar mistakes. This was a really good read, just like it had come up from a book. Keep up the good work! I'd love to read some more stories from you!
13
13
Review by Ben
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
That was an incredible story! The plot was very interesting, and you fully captivated me with your writing style and dialogue. You kept me wondering what was going to have next, and before I knew it the story was over. Keep up the great work! You have talent!
14
14
Review of Why in the World?  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very good article! It was very inspiring to read about the Creator and the relationship that he wants to have with us, and you did this in a very natural way - a conversation between two people. Your writing style was very effective, and clearly got a message across that I especially enjoyed. Keep writing more articles like these! It was a very good read!
15
15
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (2.5)
I didn't read this, and I'm not going to try to either. :P I don't know how good your writing style is, or what the story was about, but everything was so packed together that I knew it would be a hard read. Divide your story into paragraphs, and put spaces between your sentences. It also looks like that there are a lot of unnecessary capitals. If you do all of this and then tell me on my profile, then I might try reading it.
16
16
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.0)
The thought of an app like that kind of scares me. :P The story in itself, however, was written very well and captured my attention. Your writing style was very natural, and it did not sound to flamboyant or full of "twenty-dollar" words. I know this because I was able to read the whole selection without anything jumping out at me or catching my attention. I was fully absorbed in the story. Good job!
17
17
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very beautifully writ poem! I like how you made the text orange to correspond with the subject of the poem. You succeeded in delivering a message, and doing so beautifully and poetically! Excellent work!
18
18
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very beautiful poem! The poetry was beautifully writ and the message is impacting. Great job!
19
19
Review of The Journey  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! This was a wonderful piece of work, and I especially enjoyed it because I'm a Christian as well. If you're looking for advice as to how to improve it, then I would suggest that you adjust the amount of syllables in each line so the rhythm is the same, unless you're shooting for more of a freestyle feeling. The rhyming scheme was great though!
20
20
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by Ben
Rated: E | (4.0)
The content and resources provided by this site are incredible, but I was almost driven away from it because of the poor design. With some brushing up of the appearance of this site, I believe that it would have many more participants.
20 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/education02