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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elfmage7
Review Requests: ON
965 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Mara ♣ McBain .

This review is very delayed and from the many months ago round of "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest. My apologies for taking so long in sending the feedback and hope you still enjoy the piece you created months ago. Somehow the review got lost in the background of life with flu season (I work in pharmacy) and the holidays. This was a great job on the story and again, sorry that this is a very late review.


First Impression: Nicely done effort in the creation of this story. Even with the round not having as many entries compared to others in the past, it is easy enough to see why the story placed well. The character is interesting to follow and the sections provided to the reader had a depth that many will appreciate whether they are aware of the music source of inspiration or not.


Prompt: The prompt from the contest months ago was based on music that included lyrics. Music is a good prompt in that it's easy to use music in order to create a story. It can be a challenge for the reader at times to see the inspiration within the story. Overall, this round with the particular song worked out well in giving the readers and judges easy enough of a time in finding the prompt usage. This story worked in that regard. The title has a reference to the song but it also works in focus on the story as it's very fitting and the general plot showcases enough to understand the use fo the prompt for the inspiration.


Story Thoughts: I liked the story. The character had depth and the emotion is easy to interpret within the piece through the sections of story provided. With the focus being on the change in her life, it's one that many readers will be able to appreciate and understand. We can see a little of what brought the character to this point and the focus on how things have changed as she made the move in leaving things behind in her life. The story does well in showcasing how the character has gone about the situation showcased in the title with enough buildup while still keeping to a very limited word count.

The image is extra at the start of the story but in this case, I liked the visual added to the story.


Final Comments: Again, thank you for taking the time to create this entry for the contest. It wasn't the most active of months/rounds and the music contest does give a different type of challenge. I know it can be a difficult task to get that story even though music inspires writing on a regular basis. I appreciated the story and enjoyed the entry even if it took me months to get this pieced together in order to tell you. Congratulations on placing second.

*PenB* Keep Writing

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2
2
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.


First Impression: An interesting approach with the usage of the prompt and how the characters were showcased in the different segments of the story. The tag game in the beginning brings the reader into the situation, introduces the characters and makes a for a good start. I liked the approach for the most part though it jumped around a little bit with the different segments that cause a little stall each time when reading through.


Prompt: The time around there was the music prompt that included the instrumental and lyrics from which people could draw inspiration. The title itself got some attention from writers along with particular lines. It can be a challenge at times with the music prompts since they are easy for writers to use for inspiration but not always easy for others to see that inspiration as outside readers. This entry worked enough for the judges to tell that the prompt had a connection within the story to qualify for the contest.


Story Thoughts: I like the idea behind the story and where you were going, or at least the parts I was able to interpret. Have to admit that I wouldn't have known that it was six different characters if it wasn't listed in the item description. The struggle with this many characters for the official contest comes in part with the short word count limit. It can be hard to get much when having to bounce from one to the next though you did a good job with the different sections of the story as a method for guiding the reader between the characters.

I had a little struggle distinguishing the different characters and for the particular story length, might have worked out a little better cutting it down to a couple less people as the focus. Or you can expand now that the contest is over to allow each set a little more paper time in order to be able to help set them apart more. Either way can work, depends on what you want to do with the story now that the contest is over.

Final Comments: Overall, you did a nice job in the story creation. Thank you for taking the time to create the story for the site's official contest based off the music prompt and for the patience in waiting for feedback. We appreciate the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge.


*PenB* Keep Writing *PenB*

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Uncertain Paths  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello debmiller1 .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.

First Impression: A good approach to a story with conflict and character. At first there is a little hesitation but when the shaman says "I know why you dream of drowning" you have my attention. I liked the approach and the internal conflict within the main character.


Prompt: The prompt for the contest involved music, which was a song that included lyrics this time around. The contest does pose a challenge for some as it's easy to use music for inspiration with writing but can be difficult to interpret that usage for the reader/judge. Still, overall there was a nice attempt and one can see the usage to enough of a degree with a struggle and a sort of fall without using it for the title. The story is more than enough with the prompt to have qualified for the contest.


Story Thoughts: Not many comments I can make in regards to the story. The conflict and character development are strong. You have something interesting here that will capture a reader's attention and make them curious about what is going on. With the technical side, maybe a minor edit or tweaking of some sentences could put things in a stronger fashion but nothing in particular stands out as needing changed. It's just going to be a matter of personal taste if you want to work on it more or keep things just the way they are in the current version.


Final Comments: Thank you for taking the time to enter the official site contest during the music round. We hope you enjoyed the prompt and the challenge of coming up with the entry. The time you took to write and your patience in receiving feedback is greatly appreciated.


*PenB* Keep Writing *PenB*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Ready to Fall  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create an entry for the site's official music inspired contest.

First Impression: I like the approach you took here. At times, the using quotes and lyrics from someone else can be a little kitschy or bring up questions, seem at times maybe a tad less original, but there are situations and stories where it works in particular. For your entry, it worked with have the small nods and uses then the story for the reader to appreciate. And while I'm not the biggest fan of the first person narrative, that was definitely the best approach to take here as it gave the story a real voice that can be hard to pull off in writing.


Prompt: The prompt for the contest has its own challenge since music can make for a great prompt but at times interpretation and finding the prompt within for the different readers aren't the easiest. Nice to have the lyrics along with the sound for this round. Your entry did use the prompt in a way that should be easy enough for most to see how it was used. Having the it as part of the title is helpful too though could be switched out for something else to make the story more focused on your creation and a little less tied to the prompt, as an option. Still, overall it's a nice approach and use of the prompt from the contest.


Story Thoughts: With the story, I did like the approach and the character development. It can be a little hard to follow with the different italics and having the parts with the character sort of adding the extra commentary, but not to the point that one can't figure things out. I got where I needed to go with it and since knew about the song prompt could tell when it was the lyrics used. Another (random) reader might struggle a tad but nothing too much to worry about. The voice and character hold through and that's what is important with this particular style and story.

In the end, I liked this approach and the narrative elements used. Nice work.

Final Comments: Overall, you did a good job with using the musical prompt provided to create a story entry on the site. Thank you for taking the time to put together this piece for the site's official contest and for the patience in awaiting the feedback. Hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and coming up with the story.

*PenV* Keep Writing *PenV*


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Roll Um Easy  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Cerberus Mastiff!

My name is Dawn. Ruwth asked if I could give you a review on this item, so here I am. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Title: The title is also the prompt/song but for this particular approach it also worked as the title for the story. Made sense in connection with what went on and in how you used it as part of a particular bit of dialogue. The item description does offer an interesting question that might also help to grab a potential reader's attention and the contest information near the top is good to have since not everyone is going to know what sparked the story without that or the part at the end with the song posted.


Initial Reaction: Interesting approach to the story and through the use of the prompt. Even without knowing the song I had a kind of idea that one was used through how the phrases sounded that came from the lyrics. Subtle enough to not distract but stood out for me to at least notice as I was reading the story. The characters stand out enough and the story will hold a readers attention to the very end.


Contest/Prompt: Was a fun contest. I like the use of music as prompts and came close to taking part in that one myself but ended up not getting in this time around. The prompt was easy enough to find within your story. Having the lyrics and video at the end helps to show the random reader what influenced the story since not everyone will know much about the contest even though you mention it in the item description. It was easy enough to see the influence of the prompt within the story and worked out in a way that felt natural enough (not forced) for the story to shine through.


Story: A different approach, one that works given the prompt but also in the general concept as a story itself. I think you have enough in here for the short story that it doesn't need to go further and a reader will be entertained by what they get. The characters offer enough without taking over interest though don't grab my attention to the point that I'm wondering what else goes on around this particular segment of their lives. We see this particular situation and moments, which is entertaining and does the job.


Other Notes: On the technical side, my only suggestion would be that the story needs more space between paragraphs. You have the main ones handled but every new paragraph, even if it's a very short bit of dialogue, needs to have that same space. It will affect the pacing just a little with some of the paragraphs becoming much shorter but don't think that will be a negative impact and you can rework a few of the paragraphs if they feel a bit too rushed due to many short ones in the same section of the story.

If you wanted to do a little editing you could cut out some words that get used a few extra times that don't add as much as we think they do. I often go back in my own writing and try to trim down works like "just" because I know I use it more than necessary. You could cut out a few adverbs (aka the ones that end in -ly), in particular when you have a few in a single paragraph. Don't have to cut down them all because they do have some use but we often overdo it with those words but that's why we edit.

Overall, nice work with the story. Hope you had fun creating it. Keep Writing.


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6
6
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi ruwth !

Nice to see you keeping up with the writing challenge. I get to review one of your entries in connection with {ritem:2173943. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


First Impression: Fun poetic view of the epic race between the tortoise and the hare. Taking form, rhyme and a well known little tale creates an entertaining poem that different readers will enjoy. It's short and yet dynamic, so works for the contest and as a nice bit of writing for the week.


Contest/Prompt: The contest is fun since it takes a look at the fairy tale into a poetic form. How the write uses fairy tales is up to them and the prompt then comes in through the requirement of a particular form. This round it was a lento form with a beginning and end rhyme requirement for the usual two stanza poem. Your entry will qualify for sure with how it views the tale of the tortoise or the hare within the stanzas that follow the form required.


Form: I do have a couple of comments about how you approach the form: lento. While it does work okay with the way you did the beginning of each line, since they have to all rhyme, I do wonder if there will be a minor issue since technically speaking every line starts with "A". The next words follow the rhyme scheme but since the form lists the very first word of each line is supposed to bring in the rhyme it does seem just a tiny bit off the mark. Many of the lines could have the A removed and it'd still make sense in the poetic style and a couple of them could work fine with a little bit of a rewrite. Something to maybe consider though you could always keep it how you have it now if that's what you really prefer.

The word "ne'er" works fine within the poem. Personally, it does cause a little of a stumble for me as the reader but other people probably won't even notice.

Thanks for adding both information on the source of inspiration (the contest) and the form used at the bottom of the poem. It's great to have that information for any random reader who might not have known about those factors when coming upon the item in your port. It's a nice bit and having it at the bottom helps to keep the information from distracting from the main focus, which is the poem.


Final Thoughts: Overall, you did a nice job. Some things could be worked a little if you felt like playing with the poem but it could stay just as it is if that's how you like the poem. Good luck with the contest and to keep writing for I Write. Have fun and keep writing1




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7
7
for entry "Flash of Inspiration
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Snow Vampire

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019 [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Reaction: A nice approach to a very short poem. I like the idea behind it and the word that was the prompt because it's something we all relate to as writers. It also gives the reader a flash and has a sound to it, the word spark does. It's fun and overall an enjoyable quick poem.


Contest/Prompt: The contest is fun and easy enough to follow. The rules are simple since it's just write a poem that only has 24 syllables based on a word prompt that has to be included in the poem. While the syllables are limited, there isn't any other form restriction with the writer getting to lay out the words in what ever way they want. The word prompt for the day was a fun one and you do a good job with putting it into a poem.


Form: The form is more of a syllable count with this one due to the contest that inspired the very short poem. From my count, you achieve the goal of the 24 syllables. There are many quick ones with most being the single count but there are the couple of words that add length and help slow the reader down just enough to keep them from going too fast. Yet most stays quick and think that works with the focus and the prompt word.


Favorite Part:
A spark is all I need,
a quick flash of inspiration



Final Thoughts: Overall, I liked this very short poem. The word prompt was a good one and this approach worked well. I know the contest round is a challenge since there are going to be many entries with their different approaches to the prompt in poetic form. Good luck with the contest and with the challenge of I Write as we keep going through the rest of the year.

Keep Writing!


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8
8
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019 [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Thoughts: It's a nice little poem with form and rhyme that focuses on showing a view based in particular on the title. Easy enough for different readers to appreciate. Though is more of a quick picture and has a little bit of a feeling like it doesn't go anywhere in particular, which can be okay at times when it comes to poetry.


Contest and Prompt: The contest is fairly open. The main difference is that they limit number of entries each round but there isn't a prompt that must be followed. Makes it easy enough then to fit the requirements of a form poem that shows off meter and rhyme with a challenge coming in narrowing the options down in order to create something. Will be a tough one for the judges and in the frame of competition.


Form: The form is a nice choice in providing a way to create rhythm in this poem within the line requirements and the rhyming. It does have a little risk with the repetition at the end of every single line that might detract from the overall feel or make it seem a little monotonous. Some may like that element more than others. The form itself does allow a little freedom since it requires rhyme but allows the poet to pick the scheme for it. It does appear, according to the note with the information about the prompt that you follow what the form requires.


Favorite Part:
Ancient night settles down so fair
Throughout the forest's frosty air.



Final Notes: Overall, nice work in creating the poem. You did a good job with this pleasant bit of poetry.

With the little note at the bottom, I do have a bit of a suggestion. I appreciate that you put information about the form there. It is very helpful because not everyone is going to want to research to find out more information on the form and saves the judge, or anyone who is going to review with a focus on that element, a little time too. Interesting that you put some other rhyme words at the bottom though I don't quite know the reasoning there. However, with the drop note name being the contest, I would have liked to see a little bit of information about the contest being entered or maybe a link. Either that or change the title of the drop note so it reflects what is found within it better.


Good luck with the contest and the continued challenge of taking part in I Write. Keep writing!


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello ♥OctOGRE tHiNg♥

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019 [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Impression: Interesting. The title caught my attention from the start. Did like the idea behind the poem with where things started in the title. However, I did also get a little lost as I wasn't sure exactly where it was going to go. The references were great though and added a particularly interesting touch that others will appreciate.


Contest/Prompt: The prompt was easy enough for me to tell as I've been watching the contest too. Writer's Cramp is nice since it gives different prompts every day. Don't like one day, wait and the next day it will be something else. It's also helpful since it allows both stories and poems. Since the first line was bolded I assumed that was the prompt though it could also be helpful for random people viewing to have the "prompt" at the bottom of the item. Or not, it's not going to harm not having it with the poem.


Form: The form seems like it's free verse and that is a good choice for the particular poem and contest entry. Think it works well to have the freedom to word things however you want without directions or rules to dictate much.



Favorite Part:
and color invaded the screen
with a yellow brick road to war



Other Notes: Overall, nice work with the creation of the poem for I Write and Writer's Cramp. The references and overall topic were appreciated. However, I did get a little lost and it had a bit of an incomplete feeling. Like it needed to keep going because it didn't quite reach an ending. Each stanza had a purpose, or that was the feeling I got when I was reading the poem. The last line, I wanted to know what it was referencing or the particular purpose, reason for that being the last line but I don't quite get what is going on.



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10
10
for entry "Lucifer's Captive
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "I Write in 2019 [E]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Impression: Overall, an interesting and dark poem. Definitely not something to read if wanting a happy, shiny moment but well fitting considering the prompt, contest and general approach for the poem. It's on the dark side, a bit sad but also brings across a situation to show the reader for not all is well for everyone.


Contest Entered: Checked out the contest as well since part of I Write involves entering our stories/poems into site contests or challenges each week. The contest requires a more darker approach to poetry and gives quite the range for what it allows but does also include a prompt. This round it's quite the image for a prompt and does so well in giving inspiration for a poem.


Form/Structure: I'm guessing that you're going with free verse with the poem since it doesn't seem like it follows a particular form/structure and nothing else is listed at the bottom of the item. That works out the best because you don't have to follow the regulations that a form might require so you were able to focus on the image prompt.

The only thing for me was some of the sentence structures between the lines felt a little off to me. It wasn't bad and I get the reasoning for the lines but at the same times, the pattern and how the sentences came out had a little offness in my head.

Thanks for posting both the image and the link to the contest. I should do that more too.

Favorite Part:
Strength is siphoned away,
And left behind
Is a broken soul
Too weak to dig himself out;



Other Notes: Overall nice work with creating this poem from the image prompt. It works really well with the haunting image that the contest provided for the round. I can see where you are inspired and appreciated the approach taken. Sometimes things get a little dark and end a little sad, which makes this relate-able.


Good luck with the contest and the weekly challenge of I Write. Keep writing.

Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Zombiefish . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach. The item didn't have the most poetic feel, per se, but it also had a different political topic that was very appreciated. I liked your approach because it did have that element that helped it stand out for me and was something I could still understand in relation to the concern over the political state of affairs.


Prompt: The contest had a simple requirement in that we needed to simply get a poem that had a political focus. The politics part gave plenty of room for interpretation for the writer while also making it easy for the reader/judge to find the influence. The challenge came in finding a way to make the poem stand out among the others that were submitted for the contest.


Form: Free verse was a good choice as you could focus on what you wanted to say without trying to keep things within a strict set of rules. The only downside is to some this may come across as being a bit less poetic. Others will enjoy the free form and freedom it provided with the different line lengths and stanzas. It feels like we are getting to see a thought process that is a little disjointed but that is one I can appreciate.


Favorite Part:
Now take your future with a dose of cuts –

And Brexit for dessert.



Other Notes: Overall, I enjoyed the poem you created for the contest and that you took this approach. It's a bit strange and it has a strong focus that many can appreciate no matter where they are from.

Thank you for taking the time to enter the contest months ago. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and in creating this political poem.



*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Lamentations 2016  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings, Words Whirling Pumpkin Party! . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Invalid Item . Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Interesting approach to the political poem. The description at the bottom helped. Even though I'm not familiar with the tale it was meant to evoke I can still get some of the feel from that. Hopefully people will read the poem a second time once they read the details at the bottom in order to really appreciate what was put into the stanzas.


Prompt: For this particular contest, the one entered months ago, the prompt simply required a political poem. Interpretation was up to the writer on the style of poem and the angle/relation to politics. This gave lots of possibilities while still keeping it easy enough for the reader/judge to find the influence of the genre on the item submitted.


Form: The form is clearly defined at the bottom and in particular I appreciated your approach of how you showed the information about the form. Having just a title/type of form listed is enough for the contest but you described what the form needed instead and that's going to be helpful for many different readers, whether they are familiar with poetic form or not.


Rhythm/Rhyme: For the most part the poem has a good rhythm with the end rhymes helping keep things moving along. Most of the rhyme is easy enough to follow though I wasn't quite sure on stanza four. Not sure others will notice that though as the focus is more on the topic than a few line end words.


Favorite Part:
Truth and light provide the might
to rise and right the wrong.



Other Notes: Nice work with the poem. Everything worked together from the title, focus on the particular aspect of politics and had a lot of thought in how you created everything. Even the end note took thought and effort that will help any reader who checks out this poem.

Thank you for taking the time to enter the site genre focused contest months ago. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
for entry "Palm Fronds
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Greetings, Snow Vampire . I am reviewing your poem today as part of the challenge for "I Write in 2019 [E].


Initial Reaction: Nice little haiku focused on something natural with a hint of personal added to the mix. It's quick and to the point considering the prompt, which makes sense with the form required.


Contest/Prompt: I checked out the contest and its prompt in relation to the poem since for the challenge we have to enter contests here on the site with what we write each week. The contest is one for poetry and this time around required a haiku for the type of poem. Based on that, this should do well as it does have what one might expect from a haiku.


Form: This poem does appear to meet the requirements of the form required. Haiku has to follow the lines, count and flow all within the compact form. It is nice that you also did the focus on something within nature, which some people do see as something that should be involved in the particular form.


Favorite Part:
their green summer memories


Other Notes: Nice work overall. I didn't see anything really to note in regards to the technical side of the writing. The information at the bottom in the drop note is a nice touch. You could maybe put a link or some more details on what a haiku requires for those who are unfamiliar with the particular form but it's not necessary. Many who are reading poetry will be familiar enough with the form to not need that detail. Good idea on having the contest in the drop note. I always forget about that in entries but it's something I should consider beyond word counts and prompts. Anyways, nice job with the haiku.

Good luck in the contest and in I Write.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, ♫~ Kenword~♫ . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: It was a fun, interesting approach creating a ballad that focused on the small town instead of the general or nationwide political topics while still hitting some of the points that many of us will understand. It is small focused yet wide sweeping at the same time.


Prompt: This time around it was a somewhat simple prompt for the genre focused site contest. The requirement was just to create a political poem, which gave the writer freedom in how they used the prompt while keeping it easy enough for the reader/judge to see the influence/connection. The hardest part with this particular round came in creating something that would stand out among the other political poems.


Rhythm/Rhyme: The poem does follow a rhyme scheme, which helps to give it a bit of rhythm as well. Is part of what takes the reader along through the stanzas from one section to the next. The rhyme isn't to the point of taking over the focus though, as the words and topic still take the attention of the reader more so than the end line rhymes.


Favorite Part:
They sing our song for they know our heart
But they don't know the future is to tear us apart




Other Notes: Nice work overall. I liked the short stanzas in particular with this piece and how they were thought out. The approach of going from the different ones (I, we, him, you) and such made sense. It was clear that you put effort and thought into the creation of the poem in the structure as well as the content.


Thank you for taking the time to enter Journey Through the Genres. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of coming up with a political poem.



*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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15
15
Review of Son's Karma  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Kellie Burke . I am reviewing your poem today as part of "I Write in 2019 [E]. Hope you're having fun with the weekly writing and reviewing.


Initial Reaction: Have to admit, my first reaction once I read the short poem was to give a little "heh" of a chuckle. It amused me and the reference is obvious. Had me a little uncertain at first with the very first line since it was mentioning a fluke but then you got things really going and have to enjoy the nod you give with the topic chosen.


Contest/Prompt: The contest you entered requires a poem done in just 24 syllables. And going to check out the prompt, I now also see why you used the word Fluke. It was a fun choice to make the prompt as the focus of the rhyme scheme. I'm not a 100 percent sure on the syllable count as it cuts it a little close, depending on how one sounds a word or two. I tried counting and got 23 but I could be off.


Form: You had some freedom in that the contest didn't require anything other than a total number of syllables. You did the four stanza approach, which makes sense but didn't force yourself to stick to same length of lines. That gives it a little variety and keeps it interesting on the technical side though people will probably focus on the topic of the character yelling Luke!


Other Notes: Of course, the poem had fun to it with the bringing up a star wars reference. It's kinda fun and not something I would have thought about if given the prompt of "fluke".

The only downside for me on the technical sense is that personally, I'm not a big fan of the use of exclamation marks. The second line in particular feels off because it has that attempt at adding volume but isn't a complete sentence. So, it's not something I recommend but know others don't care about the use of that type of punctuation. So, not an error, just a personal point of preference.

Overall, it's a fun little poem. Good luck with the contest you entered and in the challenge of writing contest entries every single week.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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16
16
Review of Same Old Same Old  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, ♥OctOGRE tHiNg♥ . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: I liked the approach with a topic that hits the nail on the head in many ways. In my years as an adult, the elections have had that feeling: the same old, same old. You brought about the subject in this poetic form and were able to put the thought across while still creating something that could sound poetic.


Prompt: This time around the Journey through the Genre contest had a simple ask in that the genre had to be politics and the item that of the poetic nature. Having it put that way helped to give the writer freedom in what they produced and made it easy for the judge/reader to find the influence of the prompt. Easy to qualify but the challenge then became creating an item that can stand out among the crowd.


Form: Limerick can be a tough form, in particular when drawing it out to more than one or two stanzas but you did a good job with the form. You managed to follow the expectations of the form with the stanzas and rhyme scheme for the most part. In stanza two, the 'a' rhymes felt a little off due to the second line having the s when the others didn't.


Favorite Part:
With each one it's clear
couldn't be plainer this year
I'd like to give both parties the toe of my boot!



Other Notes: Nice work, overall. It's somewhat specific while having enough of an open nature to be relate-able for many people over a topic that isn't always easy to communicate.

Of course, I like the ending. I could have used a Guinness when I was voting though actually, since I did mine from home I enjoyed a different choice in libations. First time with the mail-in ballot and I'm a fan. It did have a little bit of a stumble in regards to the sound/rhythm of the last line of the poem and I think it's because of the way you had to word the beers but that was needed for the rhyme requirement.

Thank you for taking the time to come up with this poem for the contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge the prompt provided.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


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17
17
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Dave, the gravedigger . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach with this entry. It had a rhythm that is noted in the small set of stanzas produced. And the topic, the political while not being too specific brought about a good point that we see all too often, which each election or anything involving matters political.

Also, while not the prettiest image, the item image of the bat works well with getting attention and the focus on the rabid rhetoric. Nice choice there.


Prompt: This time around the Journey through the Genres contest had a rather simple ask for the prompt. The entry had to be a political poem and pretty much anything within that would qualify. This gave the writer a fair amount of freedom while making it easy enough for the reader/judge to find the influence from the prompt. However, the challenge then was how to stand out among all of the other poems.


Form: Thanks for giving information at the bottom of the poem about the form used. However, the link didn't work, which would have been a nice addition if it had provided more information about the form.

I appreciated the use of a form. Nothing against free verse but I also know the effort it takes into following something this specific and the challenge it presents in putting together the topic.


Favorite Part:
we are fed a diet
of deceit and disdain,
instigating riot
in manner quite insane.




Other Notes: It was a good approach to the ask of a political poem. It had a good rhythm and sound to the lines and still put together a point as to the angle taken in relation to the political realm.

Last stanza, there is a slight issue due to the use of the word "politic". I can see why it was chosen due to the requirement for the syllable count. However, it just sounds off.

Overall, nice work and thank you for taking the time to come up with an entry for the site contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of coming up with this for the prompt.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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18
18
Review of Politics  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Lovina 🐕‍🦺 . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: A good approach in the creation of a political poem. It has the poetic sounds while also broaching the subject matter in a way to bring about a point without being too focsed on either aspect (the poetics or the politics).


Prompt: This time around the Journey through the Genres contest had a somewhat easy request. In order to qualify, all it took as a political poem. This gave the writer freedom for what could work and made the task easy for the reader/judge to see how the given prompt had been utilized. The real challenge came in coming up with something poetic about politics that would stand out enough to keep the judges attention in comparison to the others entered.


Form: I actually like the form. You refer to it as free verse but you created a structure instead of just going random. I tend to not be a big fan of the repeated words as it can get a little grating at times when something is said over and over and over again. However, in this particular case it works out well. And I like how you tied the part of the line from the previous stanza into the next one to create a flow. Things had a reason, a purpose much like a form with some structure while still having the freedom that makes free verse a popular option. Even the spacing/tab formatting worked in particular with this one because it was done with purpose.


Favorite Part:
A temper should never be used
To discuss an idea
A possibility, a plan
When patience is called for



Other Notes: Overall, you did a good job with this poem. I liked the approach on the topic and the structure created within the formatting.

Minor things - in the first and second stanza (in particular in the first) I think you need a space between some and things. It would work better as far as how the sentence flows but also think is the more accurate option for what is being said. Also, in stanza 4, for some reason when I read it the word "pit" sticks out a bit. My mind keeps wanting it to be "put" instead. Not that it's wrong in the current formatting but something that causes me to stumble just a tiny bit as I read over the poem.

Nice work overall. Thank you for taking the time to come up with a political poem for the site contest. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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19
19
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings, Sorji is home!!! . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
}. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: A different, interesting approach to the prompt in relation to the political elements and in the general formatting of the "poem". This one had a few unique elements that helped to have it catch my attention in comparison to the many others entered.


Prompt: This time around the genre contest had a relatively simple ask since the prompt required a political poem. The politics element is open enough to give the writer many options and it also made it easy enough for the reader/judge to find the use of the prompt. The bit challenge came in finding ways to create a poem that stands out in the crowd.


Form: It does have a little bit of a non-poetic seeming approach with the form having the separate lines. Wondered a bit what might be like not having as much space but in the end think it's probably better of this way even if it gives it less of a poem look. The capitial letters are done in a way that shows intent and purpose, which is appreciated as it could have easily looked random and without point.


Imagery: One fun aspect of this one with the items listed is it gives the reader a fair amount of things to visualize. Each one that gets crossed off causes me to picture the item listed then think about the reasoning for not allowing it. That also helped to make this a fun read.


Favorite Part:
Lorna Doon's Those are Sexist.

Beef Jerky Those aren't Vegetarian.

Freedom from Judgement That's Not how this Works.



Other Notes: Overall, a nice effort and something that is definitely a creative approach to the prompt/contest.

There are a few of them that really made me think. Most I could get the connection from the crossed out parts and the list but some of them I'm still not quite sure about. Like I wasn't quite sure what about Lorna Doone's is sexist, though I think I've only even had those maybe once. Not a common cookie for me growing up. And do people want fluoride in their water? Also not sure if the one for beef jerky should be "those aren't" or "that isn't" since both plural and singular is just called beef jerky.

Finally, the very last line is almost a little too separate from the poem. I sort of wonder if maybe it isn't even needed cause the reader can come to that point in many ways on their own from the rest of the item. Plus the last crossed out one is strong and to the point so could serve as the ending. Just my thoughts on it at least.

Still it was a good approach to the prompt. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to create a poem for the official contest. We appreciated your entry.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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20
20
Review of Burnt Orange  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings, ridinghhood--p. boutilier . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: Nice approach with bringing about something specific and how you showcased the disapproval in poetic form. The freedom of topic and from form shows in the item presented along with some very interesting points, methods of wording things to show the reader.


Prompt: This time around the Journey Through the Genres contest had a somewhat simple request. Simply had to produce a political poem. This gave the writer free reign to take it wherever they wanted while also making easy enough for the reader/judge to see the influence of the prompt. The challenge came in creating a political based poem that would stand out among the crowd of other poems.


Form: Free verse gives a certain level of freedom to play with the words and lines however you see fit. It did have a little bit of a form feel to it, in particular with the repeated two lines at the very start and end of the poem. That didn't hinder the poem in any way or provide anything as a boost either, just something I noticed as the reader.


Favorite Part:
We are inhabitants of a fouled, crowded world.
Democracy is burning.
The raw, dark truth
is that politics matters.



Other Notes: Nice touch and effort overall.

One thing you could consider, in particular when focusing on a specific item like "p45" would be to provide some information at the end of the poem for the reader. This is such a wide reaching web site and the platforms/statutes change depending on the election cycle, which can make it difficult for the reader to know exactly what you are referencing. Especially those who are in different countries. You don't need a long detail and if you don't want to distract from the actual poem, you can hide it in a drop note so that the focus is the poem but anyone who wants to know more about the topic can do so.

Thank you for taking the time and putting forth the effort to enter the site contest back in November. We appreciated the entry and hope you enjoyed the challenge of creating a political poem.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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21
21
Review of Cars and Trucks  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings, Brian K Compton . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support
. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the

Initial Reaction: Quite the long poem you've got here. The lines are short to help bring the reader through things without slowing down much so that it doesn't feel like it's too long or anything. You did an interesting approach and put forth some good points in showcasing majority in the minority. It's creative and interesting to read.


Prompt: This time around, the Journey through the Genres contest had a rather simple request in that you had to produce a political poem. The prompt gave you free reign and made it easy enough for the reader/judge to see the inspiration behind the piece. Was easy enough to see from the very beginning that you used the prompt, which meant it qualified for the contest.


Rhythm/Rhyme: With the form, free verse, there is a freedom that can both help and put a poem at a tiny disadvantage. You aren't stuck to a particular set of rules for lines or rhyme but then you can do almost anything. Getting a poem to flow, particular when it starts to get longer, to keep the rhythm throughout can be a challenge. Some lines did alter the flow of the poem just a bit. You could play around with them, read it out loud and fiddle with it if you wanted to see what else you can do with the poem. Or just leave it as is, whatever you want to do. Overall, it works pretty well even with the different lines with the indent as that can look a bit random at times but in this particular piece works.


Favorite Part:
If I am not right
Or left
I am alone


Other Notes: Overall, it was a good poem presented for the contest. For me, I did get a little lost in the length and wasn't quite sure on the trucks/cars aspect from the title. Had a tiny bit of a difficult time in following the poem though could kind of get where you were taking the reader a good percentage of the time. It moves quick though, even with the length. The pacing and end product were all well thought out and appreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to enter the official contest from November. Hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and the final product you created.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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22
22
Review of The New Truth  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi there, Royal Eduardo . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.

Initial Reaction: A well put together poem that is in many ways what I would have expected from the prompt, image and title connected to the static item.

I like the image you used for the cover. It works well both in the context of the poem and with catching the interest of a potential reader.


Prompt: For the November round of the official site contest, the requirement was rather simple. You just needed to create a poem that was political in some way and in this regard you succeeded. The item you entered in the contest is a poem that is political in nature, thus qualifies for the contest with meeting the provided prompt. It was easy to find the link too, which helps though for this particular round it wasn't too difficult for any of the judges to see the requirements for entries.


Rhythm/Rhyme:
The sonnet gives for a solid rhythm/rhyme scheme. Easy to follow the end rhymes for the different lines and all of them worked without causing any distractions or stalls when they are reading it.


Favorite Part:
Too many tears spilled
These are seeds sown


Actually, my favorite part is the image you used for the cover. That was a great choice that worked well in particular with the subject matter. Will help get reader's attention too so that they will check out the poem when they come upon the item on the site.


Other Notes: Overall, you put forth a nice effort in handling a somewhat touchy subject during this poem creation. Politics has a tough approach in that it can cause some strong reactions as people all have their own opinions on the topic. You put forth yours well in the poetic approach here. You put forth the thoughts in the poetic form.

Punctuation - I'm one who does enjoy the decision to not use punctuation in particular with poetry. Often I've gotten reviews on poems recommending to put it in when it's missing, but think that it works just find without. The only thing to consider is maybe to go either all in and take off the last bit of punctuation if looking for more of a sense of uniformity.

Thank you for taking the time to put forth an entry in the contest. We appreciated the entry and hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt.


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*


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23
23
Review of On Capitol Hill  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings, Batty Bobby Baker . I am reviewing your poem today as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest [E]. Thank you for taking the time to create a poem and entering it in the contest.


Initial Reaction: You put forth a very good point with this poem. Overall, you did a nice job putting a bit of a political twist to poetry. It's interesting, brings up some history and even puts to use vocabulary that can be appreciated by a reader. Some of the flow with the sentence structure and formatting from the form felt a little off for me, but others will have different reactions based on their own reading of the poem.


Prompt: This round, the prompt required a poem that related to politics in some way or fashion. Makes it simple to both follow for the author but also easy for the judge to find. You have a poem and it involves politics, so that makes it work for the contest.


Form: I was not very familiar with the form though I've read some that follow the structure. The use of any form was extra and an added bonus. I am kind of interested as to why this particular form was chosen. There are so many forms available, the question always comes to mind as to whether it was a random pick or had some more purpose behind it.

Judging by the information I found on the form (the link didn't work for me), it does look like you followed it well. This one can be a bit tough because you have to pick particular words that are going to have enough options to fit the rhyme scheme, but also find something to repeat at the last lines.

For me, while the copied line chosen makes sense for the topic and form, something about the flow of the piece felt a little off for me. The last line or two had a feeling of being extra, not quite connected. This is just a general experience with me as the reader, though, and someone else will have a different perspective.

One suggestion I have with the form is to maybe put more information in the item instead of just the link because some might not want to take the effort to search out the rules of the form in order to see how well the poem followed the guidelines. To put it in so that it doesn't distract from the actual poem, I recommend using the dropnote option. That way more information is available on the page for anyone interested but it doesn't take any focus away from the important part, the poem.


Favorite Part:
While Senators scheme with duplicitous skill,
Americans fight for their liberty still,



Other Notes: Nice work in creating a political poem for the official site contest for November. We appreciated the entry and the time you took in order to create it. Hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the contest, prompt and the product you created.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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24
24
Review of Remission List  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Rhyssa .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest and offering your perspective using the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: Nicely done story that includes an emotional element with character focus while following a prompt. I liked this approach even though there is some aspect of having been done with the topic of the remission list (similar to bucket list and other types). The characters went well with the approach and the emotional element is one that different readers can enjoy.


Prompt: The contest involved a quotation based prompt that required an interpretation while combining a topic into a short story. This time around it was a prompt that focused on the encouragement of exploring/doing something instead of regretting not taking action. Or something along those lines as some interpretation is up to how the writer perceives the paragraphs provided. The story is easy enough for the judges and anyone who is aware of the prompt to see some influence, which meant it qualified for the contest.


Story Thoughts: As stated in the first impression section, I appreciated the approach with this story. It's enjoyable in character and conflict. The characters meld together well and we get to see aspects of their lives enough to show the story within the limits of the word count requirement for the contest.

On the technical side, you did well in the creation of the entry. Nothing stood out or distracted during the reading process. I'm not always a big proponent of first person as I tend to stick with third, but in this case, I think it worked quite well. And the choice in whose point of view to follow was a good choice. Might be interesting to see his side if feeling like having a fun challenge in doing the same story in different perspectives but overall, the way it is written is a good choice.


Final Comments: Thank you for taking the time to create this story for the site contest months ago. We appreciated the entry and hope that you enjoyed the process of coming up with the story based on the quotation prompt. Well done.


Keep Writing.


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25
25
Review of Rainbow's End  
Review by Dawn Embers
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello 🌓 HuntersMoon .

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest and offering your perspective using the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: Not where I expected things to go in the light of the prompt and with where we started, but overall an interesting story. It has a little character and some adventure with a bit of a not quite expected type of ending. I liked the approach taken in this regard and could appreciate things as a reader even within the limited confines of the contest requirements.


Prompt: This round had a quote with potential both in obvious forms and a wide range of ways to interpret the concept provided. General goal is to have some connection to the quote that the judge can find. Your use did well in that regard and thus the story qualified for the contest.


Story Thoughts: Nice approach with the given prompt. It's a developed story line, got some character involved and they do stuff. Don't always see that though is somewhat expected in stories, just hard in some of the lower word counts for some writers. I like where you went with this one even though the ending isn't as happy as I might have liked. In the case of the situation, it was fitting and you worked up to that point well. Granted, I could always want more character, seeing more of the world but let's face it, in these contests we do have to keep the word counts to the limit and you managed to put a decent amount in while putting forth a story that is short.


Final Comments: Nice work overall. On the technical side you did well in the creation of the story. Sure, if you felt like editing, developing sentence structures and the what not to tighten this up a bit you could look at a couple of points. A few adverbs could be cut out or reworded perhaps. Or some of the connections to dialogue known as saidisms (things used instead of said) could be eliminated in place of just either said or keep to more of having actions and things around the dialogue. There are simple things like that, which don't make or break the story so aren't required but things you could do if you decided to work on it a little more. Still, nicely done.

Hope you enjoyed the challenge of the prompt and creating this story for the contest. We appreciated your entry.


Keep Writing.


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