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Fantasy Pantoums, WIP
Something I started in Notepad on 12-08-2023
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elfmage7
Review Requests: ON
1,356 Public Reviews Given
1,598 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "Security at Work" Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi there Angelica Weatherby- Snowangel Author Icon!

Thank you so much for taking the time to try and enter my contest. I know you don't always get the chance but you make an effort whenever you can. It helped that this could be part of the Contest Challenge since it was during January when that challenge promoted this contest. So, well done in taking part in both.

First Impression: I think I have said this before about an entry from you in this contest but this does seem like a good idea but it's something that needs fleshed out. You got things started here and we get a little bit of the character, the situation and the world but we don't quite get enough. Write more and keep going. Develop things out into a few scenes where we get to see her start the job, what she is chasing then have the food trap situation. Build up to it more and it will be quite the fun story for readers.

Prompt: This does well in following the prompt adding in a fantastical world touch to give us something in the speculative fiction realm, not just modern or regular romance. She is starting her knew job and working there is vital for her to learn the information about the love interest. That is a good touch because you want the conflict to be connected to the relationship element. So, this does enough for the prompt and brings a good touch of adding something unexpected.

Characters/Story: Like I said earlier, this is a good start for both the character and the over all story. We get a glimpse into this main character, her different world and the situation at hand. However, the problem with the fantasy element is that there are things the reader isn't going to know. It's hard to do in flash fiction and stories under 1,000 words and I know these aren't your forte genres, romance and erotica. It can be tough trying to add them and rushing to get to the point instead of breaking up the scenes. But I think this would do better if she works longer at the new job before she gets that glimpse of what she could detect and her finding out the secret of her love interest. It needs drawn out a little more so that it isn't just easy, day one and done type. At least, that's how I feel when considering the story.

Other Notes: This is a good starting point and a fun idea. I did enjoy getting to read it and really appreciate the entry. It was a good week so we might get to have some prizes once I get through all of the reviews. I'm gland people gave it a try with the bonus of the Contest Challenge. I was glad to see that you had entered and I hope you keep trying and working on your stories.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Good Luck!


~~Image ID# 1850193's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


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Review of 47 Steps  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello DS Author Icon.

I want to say thank you for the story that you entered in my contest. This was appreciated. My apologies for taking so long with the review but I always forget how distracting Novel Prep and November Novel writing can become. It's really hard for me to do anything during those months aside from novel writing focus. Judging the official contest from November didn't help either. So, I'm sorry that this took so long but also, these are quite a challenge with the length which is all my own fault, lol. Thank you for going to the effort of writing over 5,000 words on one story within the limits of a contest deadline.


First Impression: I'm glad the world isn't like this but it was quite believable that a government would become not only monitoring but start tracking people and giving them a rating or number system almost like it's a game or a social media event. You created an interesting approach to one of the prompts and got quite the story going, getting it all done and contained within a limit that fit the long word count of the contest. This will be a good read for a number of people here on the site who might enjoy a work/government control type of conflict with also some aspects of social standards put into that control.


Prompt: This follows the prompt about not having privacy anymore with the government not only watching what the main character does but giving a rating and attempting to correct behavior that is considered undesirable, pushing the man to do things in the social norm. This means not swearing and having certain productivity elements. Not what I had imagined but something that makes total sense with the prompt. It was easy to find and made for quite the conflict.

Characters/Story: There are a few different elements that helped the story and others that didn't work as well with me being the reader. The setting is realistic and there is just enough for me to see without going into too many details. While it is nice with the larger word count to have the ability to describe more, it's also good not to go too far because readers then might get bored and skips things including the risk of skipping something important that would cause later confusion.

Character - This is where I struggled as the reader. When it came to the main character and the sense of understanding or connection that we sometimes want to see there was difficulty. This character might be a hard sell with the beginning because they aren't very likable. Well, that is my take, at least. Someone else might have a different opinion of the character because the reactions were understandable... it just was getting hard for me to root for them even if I understood why they had the reactions they did to the problems faced in the story. Not that someone doesn't wake up from a bad day or night swearing from a hangover and such. I could handle it for a while but when that seemed to be more part of personality than having a situational explanation, it got harder to root for them even though there was still a little hope they would get a couple points for good behavior.

Other Notes: The grammar and everything seemed okay in general. Nothing jumped out to me during the different times that I read the story, which was more than once. The spacing seemed a little bit much at first but I got used to it and started to make sense given the nature of the story. However, there is some element of the ending that does cause mention but is another personal opinion situation.

Here is the thing about the way it ended... That type of ending is almost overdone. It's sort of like the "it was all a dream" type of ending, which people sometimes have problems with because after all of what they had believed happened, it's less satisfying to think that maybe it hadn't actually happened. There is a similar feeling towards where the character ends up in a mental hospital or some type of facility at the end. Though I can see why it went that way with the struggles at the end but it's definitely not a happy, character gets victory type of approach. Well, other than the fact that at least the institution had warmer rooms compared to his apartment and he no longer had the judgement or work. I suppose I just was hoping for something more at the end other than gets institutionalized because the control drove the character crazy. So, it's not a bad ending but it's got a little less satisfaction compared to some other options.


I really appreciated the entry. Thank you for taking the time to write such a long story and to take on the difficult prompt with the removal of privacy to create this dystopian type of situation.


Keep writing!


Image for contest made by Neko


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings WriterRick Author IconMail Icon!

Thank you for sharing your story on the site. I found this to be an interesting read so decided to send over a view with some comments that i hope will be helpful to you. Since this was initially created for a contest, it is helpful that I am aware of the initial content idea and the prompt. So, I do know some of the elements involved as one of the judges of that round from back in November.

When it comes to the prompt, that was easy to find since you used the exact words in the middle. It is a little bit of a challenge with someone who is in a caste system where they might not be capable of reading. Helps that you do acknowledge the element as it's said that the character can barely read. I did question the access to books and material when it came to the character along with the ability. I can see why you would do it this way. Another thing that might consider if enter another round with the quotation based prompt is to develop the story so that you don't have to use the prompt in a copy/paste type of way. In fact, in this one maybe there was a way he could have thought about something similar to where we could get that he was often trying to change his whole world or some way where he hadn't changed himself. The judge will be able to find the prompt in that way too. Just an idea. I know it's a challenge as I have also entered the contest before.

I liked the idea of the story and the character. We get a realistic world, something we may have read about when learning history and the way different communities had existed in the past. The loss puts in some emotions along with the general hardship but not to the point of being extreme. Much of the story works well.

One final thing that I will recommend is that for anything that you post on WDC that might be for a contest, whether it's required or not, I would get into the habit of posting the word count at the bottom. Most contests do require it somewhere. For example: when I create a static item that is based off a prompt for something on the site, I put on the bottom details. For poems I will put line count along with word count. Then will include prompts and I put the contest in typed form along with a link. So, I would type out "Writer's Cramp" and below that put a ritem link to the contest. I do this because I've read old items on my portfolio and can't remember the reason for some of them as I've been on the site 20 years. It does really add up. Having this become a habit will help so that you don't end up disqualified for something like a word count. Also, if you enter writer's cramp, remember to put the word count in the forum post. Challenges ask for counts in posts too sometimes so another habit to consider.

Anyways, I did enjoy reading the story. I hope that you enjoyed the challenge of the contest and the prompt even if it didn't work out that particular round. Nice work and good luck in the future with entries to other contests.


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Review of Fireworks  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello bobaturn Author Icon

Thank you for taking the time to enter the Weekly Quickie Contest. My apologies for the delays on reviews for rounds. I know it can be a challenge to keep items, especially considering how many contests you try to help with putting in entries. I also had to judge an official site contest, so that put me even more behind than normal. So, my apologies. I do appreciate the entries in any round for the contest.

First Impression: Wow, you can put a lot into one little story. There is enough in each little paragraph to add details, the dialogue to get characters going and interacting and bam, things happen. I was part way through the story wondering how you were fitting romance when Ralph did not act like a good prospect, then he went away and we got to meet the other character. You do a better job at putting in multiple characters and situations within less than 1,000 words than I ever could imagine doing.

Prompt: *Fireworks7* This does use the fireworks from the prompt and brings the characters together at the end in a way that is satisfactory for having the sort of conflict and expectations of genre settled.

Characters/Story: This was an ups and down type of read for me. It did have a lot happen. And it started off with a great line. I really liked how you referred to it as "the lonelies." Not as keen about the lesbian hinting verbiage but that is a character choice, so can understand the purpose but did give less liking at first for the main character but I still had sympathy for the hetero character lamenting over the guy not being around. I did get a little confused about what had happened. Since that wasn't really the focus of the story, I didn't quite get about why he was leaving or not around. The ghost hints made it seem almost like death but wasn't, though also just not showing up anymore or no longer sending messages is called ghosting... The main focus was to get to the next guy and it's good that she recognized he wasn't a long term but a way to help move on instead of not noticing until it's too late. Nice use of the prompt.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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5
5
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the image based prompt.

First Impression: It's not an expected story, so that makes for an interesting read. Others might enjoy the challenging point of view, depends on the preference to protagonist likability of the readers.

Prompt: This does work for the prompt but it was a little harder to work with in the concept just because of an expectation for more of a focus on the change of self compared to the change the world first part of the quotation mark. Still was a qualifying story.

Final Comments: Thank you for adding the explanation on the bottom because I wouldn't have thought about that element and important connection. At times I might look up something but more often than not, I get distracted so will forget if there is anything in someone else's story that might be worth a little research.

I had a slightly hard time getting into the story. The character isn't the most likable but there was the question of whether there would be redemption at the end. So, it was one where I sort of thought maybe the emperor might change though I guess the title should have been a tip as to how that wouldn't happen. Thank you for taking the time to write this story and entering the contest. It was a tough round and we appreciated every entry.

Thank you Harley!!


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: Started off strong with the title that brought in the saving the world part of the prompt. The medical/illness point made things interesting but that might be in part from watching shows with medical serial killers in them like Snapped, etc. It was also an interesting choice for the present tense, so that will be a hit with some readers but might be a drawback for others.

Prompt: The prompt was easy to find through the start of the title and in navigating the prompt until we get to the big moment, which is the very end of the story. A change is important for the prompt so that was something I did check for when reading over the story with a focus on a character.

General Comments and Final Thoughts: Thank you for taking the time to consider font and such with this story. It was easy to read so I could focus on the character and following the dialogue since that was a big part of the story. This gives the reader the feeling that they might be eavesdropping over a big plot when it comes to this deadly illness. Had to wait to the end to find out what the character would decide. Nice work.


Thank you Harley!!


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Review of 26 Paychecks  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Howdy! You knew this was coming since it is one of the requirements for Week 1 Task with the 26 Paychecks challenge, so I'm doing as requested in sending this review. It's also fun, sometimes, to review something a little different than a story or a poem.


Question 1: What would be your favorite paychecks (prizes)? I'm not completely sure. I don't do these so much for be prizes so things like gift points and merit badges are nice, but I would do the activity even without them. I like the social elements and getting to see what the other people on the site also do for the challenges. I do enjoy having more writing or other things on my page even if they take up some space and I eventually need to delete to clean up my page. Still, the fun is in the making of the items, getting to be creative and feeling like I have an active role on the site but that's not helpful for considering what types of things you could offer. I suppose some fun trinkets are a good options for getting a task done or maybe a point system to earn something special even if it's just a review or a c-note. I'm not picky.


Question 2: What would be your favorite tasks? Another one that I'm not sure about because there are so many options. There are a few things that I don't do very often and there are some social ways that you could create with such an activity. Putting things on notepads of different people is one. Sending out c-notes is another good social one. I've also found that I have a few items I've rarely or never created, so making something like a word search or even a campfire, things you don't often see in contests would be fun too.


Question 3: Why are you giving the star rating that you are providing? Cause you are awesome! I mean, the activity is awesome too. This is a fun challenge and a great way to get people active doing different things on the site. This is also creative and different than the other things that we have done before. You always find neat ways whether it was the combine a story contest that I still have my entries from or the challenge to enter so many times throughout a year. It all has been fun. You are very generous with prizes but these activities are great for just the involvement. This one is easy to read. The font is easy to read. People should be able to navigate things well and that is also helpful. It is well deserving of the five stars. It's just that awesome.



Thank you Harley!!
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Review of A Change of Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR] . Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: I did like the story created here even though I was a little uncertain in the middle since the main character wasn't the most likable due to her stubbornness and wanting everyone to see how right she was in any situation. It was an interesting approach with putting the water topic and an English teacher being so determined to knowing the layout of another country to be the right one. Gave room for what the plot needed even more than usual due to the prompt and that was for her to change.

Prompt: This does make a good use of the prompt with how the main character, who is quite stubborn, eventually does change. We also get the sense with her moving to other locations to be of service that it is a sort of real world approach to the concept of trying to change the world.

Story Thoughts: it is kind of interesting that a few stories in the middle of the list, I'm guessing it's done based on date of submission, all had the word change in the title. Just kind of a funny little circumstantial thing. It does make sense with the prompt since the focus is on change.

Final Comments: Overall, I think that this was a well done story. It may have had a little challenge because it was such a touch competition this round but I'm sure on each list it was a close call. You did well in the characterization and coming up with something not overtly expected but that made sense. Well done.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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9
Review of The Park Cleaner  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt. Nice work in creating an entry for a site contest as that's not an easy task.

First Impression: The story has a slightly questionable protagonist that has room to grow, given the opportunity to change just like the prompt needed. The story takes a natural path with the information the reader will get to shat had happened in the past to bring us to the point of the present then provide the conflict where challenges arise. The end is a nice combination, bringing back the other character to really get the point across.

Prompt: This has a nice choice for the prompt because the main character almost didn't have anything to lose while also having maybe everything to lose in making a change for his life. It might not influence the world itself, but how he faces things and maybe even the future of a friend come to place with the conflict and that works. While you also sort of copy/past the quotation prompt into the story, with the paragraph it is used within, that ended up working and not coming off too forced. You did a nice job with the story.

Story Thoughts: It is a fairly well written story. The character might not be the shining armor good guy that someone might expect but he's also not so far gone that a reader will struggle to relate. There is the hope and that shows with what does happen in the story given the situations that he comes upon.

It is a good choice with this older character. because they have that experience. We can see he hasn't had an easy life, that things aren't getting much better or that is how it feels. It's hard to tell if that good luck moment will come or something else bad might happen. He has choices to make and has made bad ones in the past. This time, the does good and there is a payout in a way that is believable. I like the second chance this story shows.

Final Comments: I don't have too many technical comments to provide. It might benefit from an edit if you wanted to do a little adjusting, like most stories could almost always use. I would look at adverbs such as the ones that end in -ly because if you take a few of them out, rewriting for a more solid option then it becomes just a little stronger. However, it's quite good in the current draft. It was a tough competition.

Thank you for the entry. I hope you keep writing and have a good year.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Adherennium Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt. I hope you enjoyed the challenge that came with creating this entry.

First Impression: This is a fun idea that takes a different spin to the frog prince type fairy tale. I liked the idea and the character that you created because it has that inspiration but you put that twist with how the character is developed along with what ends up happening in the plot line. It was fun and got place high in my ranking.

Prompt: This does well with the prompt. There might not be a big world crisis, but that's sort of the point with the quotation. We get a character who has this idea for how her world or life should go. She learns that maybe that's not the case so instead she needs to consider changing that outlook. Well done.

Story Thoughts: This story was easy to read. Will probably depend on the reader, however, as some might not enjoy the joking, poke at the fairy tales like the princess and the pea and such. I'm hit or miss on those types of stories as well. This one, I enjoyed. Then again, I'm going to be one of those who appreciates the prince being a princess end line more than some others.

I'm not 100 percent sure on the use of the sort of comments often made (). They break out of the box since it's sometimes done to give information to the reader but that, when done often, can make the story feel choppy. Or some might struggle with the break in the fourth wall that they can give. Some of the comments made in them, however, are golden so it's understandable why they have been used. Maybe not all are needed but many can certainly remain because of what they offered.

While I like the idea and it makes sense, I wonder if there is a better title that could be used for this story. Like, one can get the princess and frog connection by the story. A more creative or different title might help make it stand out and show that this takes a different take instead of following the obvious if one reads the title since those stories about kissing frogs are so well known. Just an idea.

Final Comments: Overall, I appreciated this story. It's fun and creative, taking a different approach to the contest prompt. This did a good job in creating that character along with representing a change. Nice work.


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review of His Mother Cried  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello THANKFUL SONALI Get Well Ken Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: This is a really good story with a solid character and thought out plot that different readers will appreciate. The main character is someone who works in the school system and they see a student who is struggling but there is a reason behind, one they see a solution. People will relate to these characters but also feel an emotional response to what happens.

Prompt: The interpretation of the prompt was quite interesting. This isn't exactly what I might have expected in some ways, because I didn't really know what to expect other than copy and pasting the words into a story. The interpretation made sense and the character really shows a change. And you did get a little twist in the story too, keeping the plot something that might stand out in someone's memory after they read the story.

Story Thoughts: As stated already, this is a story that is easy to enjoy. The main point of view protagonist is someone easy to understand and they are quite likable. It is realistic and brings up a social topic too in considering how different schools have to compete with test numbers instead of considering what is best for all of the students. This shows how that might influences teachers and administration decisions. And as someone who worked with students on the autism spectrum, I know the struggle some face and the difficulty that comes in some locations in special education rooms. Others will have experiences as parents or those working in the field that will connect with the character and decisions made. It was nice and interesting as to the result for the student in the story too.

Final Comments: Overall, you did very well with this particular story and the usage of the prompt. It ranked high on my list when I judged the contest. Can see why the other judges also did similar, helping the story get that third place. It Is well deserved. Thank you for sharing the story!.

Keep writing and entering contests. *Papers1* *PenV*


Thank you Harley!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello John Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest" Open in new Window. [ASR]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the quotation based prompt.

First Impression: At the beginning of the story, I wasn't expecting the mystical fantasy type element that was brought in with the glowing prism. I liked where it went with the addition of the magical call for change. The whole concept was clearly born from the prompt but also provides a good view, plus a message to consider. Well done.


Prompt: I appreciated that since you did use the words of the prompt in the story, you bolded it so that the judge could easily find the usage. While it wasn't necessary to put the actual words into the story, it's understandable that you would bring focus to that point. However, that did make me wonder about the glowing prism and why that was also bolded. I would almost think that you could have gone without using the wording of the quotation, however. Not that doing so was wrong but I think this story would work even without that to give the same message. She could come around to the same message. I just would have preferred different wording or something so that it wasn't an exact copy of the prompt word for word. Still, a good idea story wise.


Story Thoughts: The story has a strong plot and an interesting character for the reader to follow. It starts of showcasing the status quo of the character, helping to settle in the way the character might need to change by the end of the story. Since I'm a fan of fantasy, the gem element and idea of the call to change the world worked in a few different ways that could be appreciated as the reader.

One thing you might want to do is to fix the title because you ended up with a minor typo due to the addition. I would just delete the part about the contest and if you want that known right away, you can add it to the description. Another option is to add it to the bottom of the item in a note, which is what I suggest. Now I not only link the contest but I type out the name in case someone deletes a closed contest so that when I go back to read my own item years later, I know what had first been the inspiration.

I like the idea in general because we might like reading about magic and stuff that can be used to change the world but that's not something we will realistically find in our world. Instead, the only thing that we can really change is ourselves as that will have an influence on our own world but we can do that in ways to try and help change things for others.

Another point that didn't influence rating or decisions in the contest but something you might consider would be to increase the font size to 3.5 or 4 instead of leaving it in the current sizing. It can be a little hard to read the regular size on the site even though it's much simpler to leave things that way.

Final Comments: Overall, this is fairly well written. It wouldn't hurt to do another edit, if one was done before submitting to the contest but that is normal. Most of us have items that need a little editing and it's always hard to get to a final, needs nothing else stage for an item. Nice work with taking the quotation prompt, which isn't the easiest to use in creating a story. I hope you enjoyed the challenge and know that the judges to appreciate having entries even if these reviews and sometimes final results take a little time.

Nice work! Keep writing. *PenB*


Thank you Harley!!


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kristi Love Author Icon.

Thank you for taking the time to enter Weekly Quickie Contest back at the end of October for the Hallows Eve type prompt. My apologies for the delays in the reviews as November is always very distracting for me as a novel writer. I appreciated the entry. Hopefully you enjoyed the prompt and writing the little story.


First Impression: This was an interesting story that worked well with the prompt provided during the time from the contest. It showcases a haunting situation with a character who is ready to be with the one she loves. It focuses more on a romantic angle with something that a reader might anticipate or they might not, depending on their approach.

Prompt: The story follows the prompt very well. With how I wrote the prompt, it was just an expectation to have any type of story where the veil is thin around Hallows Eve. Since it's known that ghosts or people who are deceased, souls, could return possible or there be connections for a short time, the story is based on what this particular character does in that situation. Well done.

Characters/Story: I do like the approach you took with the story. For me, it's not the most surprising but that's okay. At times, with romance, there isn't a requirement for surprise or twists and turns. We can sort of know where things are going because the reader focuses more on the ride and the emotions. We get a romance here, a loss that was felt and a way where she can get back to him.

Other Notes: Overall, it's fairly well written. There isn't much that stood out. I'm not sure on the font size, so if you don't adjust, that is one thing to consider in the future. If you haven't already considered for static items on the site, I recommend either using 3.5 or 4 as a general size. It's just easier to read.

The only other thing that stands out a little is that since it's a lot of short paragraphs, the speed of the story becomes faster. There might be a few spots where you could add more sensory details to build the world. You have some good details but since there was more words allowed than what you used, you could maybe put in even more details to show the scene to the reader. A few bigger paragraphs then having the rest as they stand would give variety and help with the speed. Not something major or wrong, just something one can consider if doing a rewrite or edit. Since this doesn't need to be super long, you don't need to make it a novella or anything but a little more could bolster the sad romantic story that is created here.

Nice work!


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
An excellent activity that helps shape prep work for people taking part in the challenge. I'm a big fan as someone who not only takes part but also helps with the coaching in recent years. Each activity make sense and is given enough time to help a person prepare an idea to get ready for the challenge of actually writing.

I do have one suggestion for the calendar and it's something that I've been trying to work on or remember when creating items on here. In the past, I would haven to thought twice about leaving the font size to the standard. Some reviewers have mentioned difficulty in the past for reviews of things that I've written. I have also found that on some days my eyes are a little irritated, possibly related to some current medical issues. The basic point here is that it would help if the font was bigger like 3.5 or 4. Making the headers a little larger to the 5 or so will help to keep them apart from the pain aspects with the different topics and lists for each day.

Other than that, everything is good here.
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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Vee Vee Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I found the poem on the option for Read and Review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Reactions: This caught my attention since it's a dedication to your mother and that is something relatable, in particular since I had to move in with my own mom. I like the approach and thing it's a good starting point for a poem that could use a little development. Some editing or a rewrite could keep the main basics while maybe playing with lines and structure to have a better flow.

Topic: For many, mom is a topic that they can understand or want to see emphasized in a poem. You do have a good start point in making sure people know what the poem is about with the title and description. If possible, I would add the commas in the title like they are put in the last line of the poem. It doesn't look quite right without. Though it could be cut out because of the title limitation, if putting them in is too long for the web site, I would cut the title down to just My Mother or My Rock.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I do have some suggestions to make. These are my thoughts on development for the poem but just based on my opinion and poetic experience.

I would cut out the title at the top of the poem. Since the web site has a specific spot for the title, you don't need to have it placed above the poem.

One of the issues is that some of the lines cave more than one sort of sentence or thought. Like near the very end. I do like how there are only two lines at the end but it feels more like three. The first line of how special she is and how proud you are should be split into two. However, I do think some of the lines would sound better if reworded in a way to not end with "are" or "be". Like I'm aware that the sentence can end that way but it will sound stronger with a little changing of sentence structure.

Four line stanzas are standard but not necessary since you aren't following a particular form. In the first stanza things could be moved into more lines for the stanza. You could end the first line at "younger". The third line could be divided better so that you don't need to use more than one and within a sentence.

The third stanza could use a rewrite. In particular, the first line because there is a typo or incorrect writing. "Then grew I little" needs rewording.

Also, some of the lines need more commas added if they are kept that way. Such as:
"You are my rock,
my savior when I needed you most.
You never gave up on me
even when I felt ____"

Just some ideas. You can rework and fix things how you see fit or keep the same. Thank you for sharing and keep writing.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of When We Part  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Teller of Tales Author Icon,

My name is Dawn and I found your poem while searching for something to review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing on the site.

Initial Thoughts: This is a short poem that has a melancholy type feel to it with a topic that will resonate in different individuals with a soft touch. It has a good point to provide as a reminder for us about how we communicate to loved ones with the fact that we don't know what will happen next or how long we may have on this realm. Within three small stanzas, you do well to give a message to someone close to you if it's one that you share.

Form: The form used is fairly simple with the four lines per stanza, which is something people are drawn to write and is a familiar approach for readers to appreciate as well. Repetition at the end is done with purpose, which helps and keeping to to a small amount of stanzas makes it so the repeated words aren't overdone. I'm not the biggest fan of repetition when it is done often but this one is fine.

{bTopic: That tomorrow will never come and what messages we leave people with at the end is a common topic. Even sitcoms tough on the issue, worrying about ending a phone call in a fight and if that was the last conversation they ever had. Of course, they would call back to say something nicer and that they loved them but fighting would happen again so then they would have to go do something that they had been fighting about not doing. Still, it's a good point and for those that are holding grudges in particular. We think there is time later to deal with it but we don't know if that's true. We don't know how much time we have left.

Suggestions and Final Thoughts: I like the poem in general. The only nitpicky comment that comes to mind is the wording of the first line. Like, I get the point and it's important to the overall message but there is something about how it is worded that stirs up the questions of maybe there is a better way to say it while keeping the point that needs to be made. Maybe something like "There is no promise of tomorrow" or "Tomorrow is not promised to us" or something of that nature. That just is what my brain says. Others might have different opinions. I do see the poem is a few years old so you may or may not want to edit. All up to you.

Thank you for sharing the poem on the site and for doing so over the years.


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Eye of the Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there, Jeff Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today in connection with "I Write in 2025 " Open in new Window. [13+] since I posted in the forum after you. You're making good progress and still stand a chance to make it up to the 25 count is daily challenges and such have good prompts.

Initial Reaction: You have quite an interesting piece because the start is story focused that sets up the scene then you have the three line stanza poem as the other "half" as it seems. They are connected to each other by the topic and helps to create the trepidation of the conflict the prompt creates. On one hand, it feels a little incomplete. Like I might be missing something. On the other hand, it works well to create that mood setting so we know something terrible is going to happen but we don't have the witness after the calm moment ends to show the experience, perhaps.

Contest/Prompt: The contest is a good one as we both have entered Writer's Cramp over the many years of being on the site. The prompt was a challenge for sure. It's not easy to set up that specific scene. Some people will have more experience with tornadoes approaching compared to others, beyond what movies like Twister have shown. I would say the only potential problem could come if a judge is very specific to holding to all elements of the prompt from the questions it asks. I just bring that up because it does ask how the people handle the situation. So, this entry might miss that part because we don't get to see the disaster that happens next even though there may be a good reason.

Final Notes and Other Thoughts: Overall, this is a tough call but still a good entry. I liked the use of the prose element setting everything up but having it end with the poem. This is a nice change up from how some people start novel chapters with poetry then use the prose.

Nice work and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.
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Review of Easter Dresses  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Roari ∞ parties on ... 🥳 Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I decided to review your poem after finding it through the Read & Review function here. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: You caught my attention with the first line, since the features shows random things to read then I didn't end up picking it from the title or description. Those get noticed a little later at times when I'm using the source for finding things to review. Everything combines well though, with different ways to entice a potential reader since there is the title, the description that connects with that plus you have a pretty image where some might see these elements and want to read the poem.

It's a cute poem, overall. There are descriptive elements along with particular items or details that will be something a reader can connect with on a personal level.

Imagery: You do really well with the imagery here with just your word choices. The trick here is to find the right words that give the reader the picture without having to go into a long winded description section that doesn't fit in poetry and would risk coming off boring at times in novels. It is the words like the "pianist's hands" and the "faded green Singer" that really help create an image in the readers heads. I don't know what machine my grandma uses, as she does hem and stuff, or she used to do that. However, I have my great grandmother's Bernina sewing machine and it's got so much history involved plus sentimental value.

Other parts later do similar with the talk of books and giving these aspects to really develop the characters shown in the poem.

Minor Suggestions and Final Thoughts: There might be some ways to adjust to get the flow to go a different way. Perhaps some editing might add a little strength as you could consider how punctuation and sentence structure might influence the end result. On could even say it might be a good idea to just use capital letters on the lines that are the start of the sentences and not do it for every single line, but that is more personal preference.

The main thing I would suggest is to increase the font size to a 3.5 or a 4. I'm doing most of my writing items as a 4 now, even the novel chapters that are private, so only I can read them. It just helps my eyes and others so we can read things better on the different electronic devices, whether it's a laptop, tablet or phone.

Other than that, I just want to say that this is well done. It's a pleasant poem that I appreciated getting the chance to read. Have a good week and keep writing!



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Evolutionary?  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello fyn-busy writing!!! Author Icon!

I was searching for a poem or story to review today and this one caught my attention. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing my random thoughts. I might ramble as this has really provoke some memories. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Thoughts: This is quite an interesting and thought provoking poem. The title is the first thing that grabbed my attention. For some, it is in some ways a controversial topic because of the time frame and the whole aspect of evolution. That is where they might go with the reaction to the poem or commentary aspect of what you have created. For me, I don't remember the details from when I was in school but I do have a memory unlocked from working in behavior therapy when I was doing in school sessions with a pre-teen.

One of the classes that he had where I was with him involved homework over the different stages of the neandrathal and homo-habias or umm, I should google the exact words but you get my direction, I hope. Part of the class, I was mostly trying to get the student to pay attention and not use his laptop when it wasn't laptop time. Then it was try to do the homework with the work sheets on the different aspects for who did hunting, what aspects do we see as civilization and such but in somewhat easy language.

Your poem brings me back to those days along with giving self reflection with the understanding of finding a place that makes you feel so small. Thinking about our little gemstone on the diamond painting of our days, it's a thought that can go many different ways.

Thoughts and Suggestions: Overall, this is a great piece that I hope other people will find. It's also something that could maybe be expanded upon. Either with this one or you can do another with similar wording or line focus but with even more added so that there are stanzas. I have a feeling of uncertainty with the center alignment. I tried out the left alignment just to see and it would require some adjusting with combining a line or two but would be good for a longer version. Still is okay at the center and I'm sure others will still like it this way.

Nice work and thank you for sparking ideas with the thought provoking way you approached this topic. Keep writing. *Smile*


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Review of Shattered Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello TheBusmanPoet Author Icon

I found your poem through the random read and review function on the site and decided to give it a review. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: This is an interesting poem that exists to showcase sad times or to pull those emotions from the reader. Whether based off real experience or not, it hits some particular points in the effort to reflect what is put in the description as the topic.

Contest/Prompt: I don't know if this was written for a contest or not because none is listed but you did put the line count and word count at the bottom. This is often done for contest entries, so that makes me curious if this poem had been written for something in particular. Was there a prompt or particular reason? Or is it just something you came to write and felt it important to have the counts available for readers?

Form: It doesn't look like a particular form is used here. However, the use of the center alignment gives the poem a particular image compared to how it would have looked with the standard left approach. While I don't see a particular form used, I did notice some factors that stood out.

One aspect is the use of capital letters. Most of the time, it was used to represent the start of a sentence. With poetry, sometimes people will capitalize the start of every line, even if it is within the middle of a sentence. For this poem, it seems to do both, which causes an inconsistency. There are some lines that are start with a word that is capitalized, a few of them are also middle to sentence, not beginnings. Other times, there is a lower case at the start of a line that happens to be in the middle of a sentence, so it would make sense. I would suggest picking one way and doing it throughout. My preference is to do upper case for start of sentence and lower case for the lines in the middle if punctuation is used to create those sentences. It works better to do every line starting with a capital letter when there is no punctuation/sentence structure or when doing a poem where the first letter of each line spells out a word.

I also noted that you picked some words to have capital in the middle. These are words put as key elements, so Love and Shattered Dreams get emphasis. I think this can work but also has the potential to throw off the reader a little too. As long as the choices make sense, those can probably stay.

Final Thoughts: Overall, this is an emotional poem that different readers will be able to appreciate. I am glad that I was able to stumble upon it. There is room to grow but that is common for posting here. Whether you take any of the suggestions or do anything else to the poem will be up to you in the end.

Keep writing and sharing these words here on WDC.



Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Unbirthday  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well, hello there I Heart My Sox Author Icon

Thank you for taking the time to enter The Weekly Quickie Contest. I know there are many contests and activities for the first week of September with the celebration of the site turning 25. It is very appreciated that you picked the contest I manage as something to enter and dedicate your time towards. The review is just my general thoughts as a reader. I hope you enjoyed the challenge and keep writing different stories and flash fiction pieces for contests like Quickie.

First Impression: Wow, that is a strange and awkward situation. It starts out very fun and a little naughty with the surprise grab and go to the fancy hotel room. The situation itself, we discover, is on the strange side. Set up as a surprise but ends up being a very different surprise than the plotters had in mind.

Prompt: This does work for the contest because you have a birthday celebration but the person led to the surprise party isn't the one they expect, so it isn't their actual birthday. They got the benefits of the fun the "date" provided, so did get to do some celebrating without knowing what is going on.

Characters/Story: While it's a very short entry, it packs quite a punch considering you got all of that action and stuff within less than 200 words. We don't get to know the characters very much due to the word count. We don't even get names, which for most stories would be a problem. However, it works out fine for this very short flash fiction piece.

The downside to this approach comes in a question of believability. This might be influenced by the number of episodes I have seen recently from shows like Snapped or Buried in the Backyard, it seems like a bad idea from the beginning. I can't imagine feeling safe and going off with a stranger that way. She might have been lucky with the happy ending for her and how he used physicality for communication. But I still struggle with the idea that nothing is said, but she goes with a stranger to fancy places and an erotic hour or so before she discovers the surprise birthday party not meant for her. I know fiction doesn't have to be real but in this situation, I had a hard time suspending those thoughts in order to believe.

Other Notes: That is quite an accomplishment for having a story fit within the very minimal word count. It might lack a little detail due to that fact but you managed quite well to give the reader something that still feels like a story.

Is the Ritz still a hotel? Like it seems something that was heard in the past as the fancy place but at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder if it was real. Maybe growing up in small town Wyoming had an influence on that.

Overall, nice work. Good job with the flash fiction story. I could never manage something that minimal so I can really appreciate the effort you took in creating the item. Well done.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon.

I noticed your poem when I was checking out a poetry contest that I hadn't noticed before. The very short poems seemed like a fun idea and this lead me to reading one of your entries. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: I like the title for this poem. It's very fitting within the context of the prompt along with the general subject of the poem. Despite not having a description to give an idea what it could be about, the title itself does well on its own. The poem that was produced not only makes sense with the title but it is something many will relate to when they get the chance to read it.

Contest/Prompt: While I know the contest and prompt since that is how I found the poem, someone who just comes upon it in your port will not have that information. While it's not required, I do find it very helpful for readers and for the writer to have contest information somewhere on the item. I've got back to old stories and poems in the past where I hadn't done that. I can almost remember what was the inspiration but not enough to pinpoint it. Would have helped if I had put the prompt and written down the contest at the bottom.

Most contests require a line count or word count at the very least posted in the item if possible. It helps that they don't require it for this contest and the requirements are short enough it may not batter since the contest requires less than 8 lines. And that is a challenge, to write something meaningful in very short form.

Technical side: While I do like the poem, with the topic in particular standing out as something strong but also wise, I do also have a few comments to offer when it comes to the technical side of the item beyond adding contest/prompt information.

Something that you could maybe consider would be adding more commas to a few spots. You can try a few different spots to test where is the best spot for the tiny pause that the comma can create.

Also, while not incorrect, my brain sort of wants to have "they're" changed to "they are" even if it's a little more on the formal side. The other two shortened or combined ones are fine, like "they've" for example.


General Suggestions and/or Final Comments: Overall, it's a nice approach to a familiar topic. Even though I don't have my own kids, just having very young cousins that I held as babies that have grown up, it's like the blink of an eye. I know years have gone by but seeing the changes in them, it's something different. On the other hand, I did have a little bit of a trouble with the line about them changing with bodies "rearranging". That is a strange phrasing for me but maybe it's common somewhere else. Might just not be an approach or way to say things that I am not familiar with so that could be okay.

I did like it in the end. Nicely done and good luck!


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.




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Review of Yellow Stone  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings sinbad

I am reviewing your nonfiction item today after looking at your port when we were doing a merit badge exchange. Wanted to see what you had showcased and naturally the title caught my eye. After glancing over this item, I knew that I had to do a full read and send a comment.

Initial Reaction: With the title, I wasn't certain at first if this would just be about stones that are yellow in color, since there are a few of those that exist too, or if would be the location. I like getting other people's view of the world and it is really fun in areas or places that I know. In the beginning, I wasn't sure if you would add yellow stone color and not just the name of the park because then it would call into question the space in the title, but then I got what I was looking for near the end too.


Contest/Prompt: You mention the contest at the end of the item in good detail with not only the link but also the contest name typed out. That is something I have started to do in case a contest closes or gets deleted. Good idea there. And you picked a good topic for having write about yellow as a dominant theme.


Final Notes and Other Thoughts: This is a fun sort of essay but short style approach. Nonfiction but not very school sounding, which is fine there. It does have many short paragraphs. Some might want a longer one or two for variety and others won't even notice or care.

I do have one curiosity when it comes to the technical side. Is there a reason to have a space before the punctuation in most of the item. I see you have it before "...." in spots, before some punctuation (!,.) and the real issue I have is that it's not consistent. Like some might find it odd to have that space throughout but if it's every time, then at least it seems like a choice. It's almost so often that it might be a choice, so then the spots where you don't have the space would be the little mistakes.

Also, at the very end: is "Dum" charades a specific type of charade game, or is it supposed to say "dumb charades" at the end?

This is kind of fun because it might open up conversations for memories people might have about Yellowstone National Park or other little items mentioned throughout. Like, even though I'm from Wyoming, I grew up in the southeastern corner, which is the opposite side from the actual park. We did go to it once when I was a kid/pre-teen and it was a super long drive, or it felt like at the time. The game boy batteries didn't last long enough. That and the younger siblings couldn't handle the extra space of the van so they had to ride the whole way in the car with mom and step-grandma. I got to be with my older stepsister in the van, which had my stepdad and his dad. They talked military stuff the whole time...

Then there is my experience with bison, which wasn't so scary. My friend's family raised a few and so we went out into the pasture in her car and got to see them up close but still instead the car. haha. Yeah, still new to be careful and cautious cause they are big. Though they did sometimes get chased off cliffs in the past.


Fun item! Where else have you traveled? Anywhere fun and recent? I'm curious to know more. *Bigsmile*


Sig I bought to put on my reviews.


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Well hello there, DS Author Icon.

I'm reviewing your story for the Weekly Quickie contest, Round 370 that had a word list prompt. These are just my thoughts in general and reactions as a reader.

First Impression: This is a good continuation and gives the answer to the question I had to ask before the section one of the Three Little Words storyline. Will be nice if they get combined since the stories work together and this is a couple that could really have their own novella or more. It would be fun to see where they go but this is a quirky little romantic battle of chicken. I enjoyed reading this one.

Prompt: Nice work using the provided words within the story. You peppered them in so they are in different sections of the story, which is something I prefer so they don't get jammed in just to fit a prompt. They made sense and worked. For some reason, I will admit that when I think something "reeks" it's a bad thing instead of just a very heavy scent even if that is what it means. Though, I suppose someone could really not like the smell of wildflowers. Good job in making sure they were safe because even with a gag, the need for consent and way to back out if that changes is important.

I recommend in contest entries if giving information at the bottom to find ways to put the prompt and contest. I've gone back to old items and realized I know it was for a contest but can't remember which one. So, the information could be nice for you to have later if you keep the items in your port for years.

Characters/Story: It is a fun story and these characters are dynamic. I like the personality we get so far with both of them. It was nice having this section be her point of view. Does make sense that she would win, though if m/m fiction is right the straight males are missing out on something, lol. He probably doesn't want to give that a little try even with her. I do hope you continue before and after this part as it seems like these two could create more fun.


Other Notes: While I appreciate you having the contest round and date in the item description, it would probably better to put a detail about the story so readers know what is going on with the fun little battle the characters are having.

On the nit picky side, near the beginning when she focuses on him as "centre stage" my brain struggles on "centre" cause it wants to change it to center even if it's okay in the current formatting.

No other comments. I really enjoyed the story overall. Since only two entries were submitted for that round, there are no winners competition wise but it doesn't mean this wouldn't have stood at chance at winning. It was a good story. Nice work!


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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Review of Cow Concert 2025  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Novel Writing Month Plus+  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ChristineB Author Icon

I noticed your entry a few days ago in the Writer's Cramp contest during the birthday celebrations. It was a fun prompt so thought that I would give a review on the poem that you entered. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Initial Thoughts: This is a fun poem based on a cow focused prompt. Even though the title was the only requirement of the contest, well that a music genre, it kind of meant there had to be something fun about cows. What else could a cow concert involve? Maybe something referencing cows but I think most of us, story or poem, went with cows finding a way to have a concert.

Contest/Prompt: Since I'm also someone who entered that day, birthday week it can be a popular contest only beat by the occasional day during poetry weeks, I am well aware of the prompt. The contest did require the title and a music genre. The animal and contest entry genre set up also made sense. I had to look up "Bolero" just to be sure but had a vague recollection. It does work in the concert realm to give an idea what the poem involves. And you definitely had a cow concert so that is a good take on the prompt.


Imagery: The cows are fun to imagine and you gave them many details to showcase personality in this fun imaginary situation. You gave a few of the cows names, making them stand out and allowing instruments provided, plus costumes, to give them a human approach.

Just had a tiny confused moment with how the instruments are "voiced" because it doesn't match my experiences with music. I've been in choir and played clarinet in the band. Never would have called playing an instrument "voiced" or voice but I guess this is an attempt to say they are signing as if they are the instruments instead of playing the instruments.


Final Thoughts: This is a fun story type poem that doesn't have to follow a specific form or rhyme scheme. It was a nice approach to adding personification to cows and giving the judge who put out the prompt a fun poetic approach. Nice work!



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