| First Impressions: Such a sweet poem. Full of colours, memories, and typical features of happiness. I love reading happy poems, they inflict happiness on even the most downhearted person. One of things I got from this first of all was how the idea you had had, about the colours and the different parts of peoples lives, was so good! You cannot write anything without inspiration like that, without having something so beautiful, or in dark poems case, un-beautiful in mind.
I Love: The rhythm of the poem is lovely, it draws you in, and creates all the sense you need. It's like re-living another persons life, but in a respect, the perfect persons. Reading this poem brings home how we can live such beautiful lives when other people, in different areas of the world, can only wish.
Suggestions: I say this to a lot of people, it must be one of those things I notice too much, but some of the lines have too many syllables, or not the correct meter to make it sound smooth. Perhaps re-read it and try and re-arrange the lines so that they flow better!
Good luck in Poetry Parlour,