This has a wonderful rhythm, it has a lovey kindof rhythm - if you see what I mean (who would). The only suggestion would be to rearrange some lines that don't flow perfectly but it really doesn't matter it's such a beautiful poem!!
This poem is really good because it's a cycle so it keeps on going round and round. I think the only reason it has the rating it has at the moment (which is unfair) is because it doesn't rhyme. but who cares poems don't have to rhyme and I think it's superb how it is,
I really like this piece of writing and my suggestions would be only minimal - I love descriptions of haunted houses, they are great to write and great to read. Now what I think you need to do hear is change some of the words for better adjectives, set the mood a bit more, create a semantic field of death, that would make the perfect desciption!!
I like this piece, it's very interesting and it's at the perfect pace - I only have one tiny weeny suggestion and thats on the first paragraph 2nd line down it says 'she released...' In that section you use the word 'that' twice - just rephrase that bit and it's perfect!!
This poem is great - it really emphasises a point. The words and vocabulary you used are wonderful and I would only suggest one small thing...
Perhaps you could try and sort out the lines so they have a more flowing rhythm in them, adjust the words a bit and swap them round. It may make it sound better in the end!!
Keep writing
~ellie~
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). The only suggestion would be to rearrange some lines that don't flow perfectly but it really doesn't matter it's such a beautiful poem!!