Lyn's a sly fox's (elusive4lyn) Reviews

#4745660

Review of Forty-Five

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blogging Circle of Friends

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Jeremy,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Forty-Five

First Impression: It's looking awfully close to more stains in our future. So many crimes and convicted of none. We used to comment on the lawlessness of Somalia, Syria, Venezuala, Honduras and South Africa as being dangerous but all we're showing the world is that criminals can be get away with anything. They can become President.

What needs your attention: Not a thing. The orange last line in each stanza a mockery of the orange buffoon is perfect.

What part I liked best: I agree with each stanza with the sentiment when it was written but I don't think we should be sleeping at night. We're facing dangerous times if that monster is elected. He'll turn this country into a dictatorship, tossing everything the constitution stands for away.

Overall impression: I can't believe people are funding the go-fund me account to pay his legal fees. No one would do that for you or me. His children aren't any better. I don't think the stain will ever leave the world's memory. We're a laughingstock now, imagine how bad it will look if he is re-elected.

This is a cool approach in showing what damage was done by the stain called 45.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Excellent, Jeremy!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

27

#4745609

Review of A Thanksgiving Remembered

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blogging Circle of Friends

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Beholden

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Thanksgiving Remembered

First Impression: Thanksgiving dinner I have learned to avoid, religion, political and freedom for the same exact reason the silence that follows is deafening.I stay with good family and friends, the opportunities I've had this year to write poetry. No one gets grumpy that way.

What needs your attention: This free style form gives the author leeway to express themselves. There's nothing I feel needs changing.

What part I liked best: I chcukled when I got to and I, being caught unprepared. Yup, been there too many times. One time to be funny, I grabbed a small notebook out of pocket and said, I've written it all down. My brother said, we're thankfull Lyn has her pencil and paper. Everyone laughed and he added his grateful contribution. I didn't have to add a thing. Perfect escape.

Overall impression: The free style poem allowed the author his own voice to tell about a family gathering as they wanted. The flow was smooth and the ending was perfect.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Write on.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

28

#4745599

Review of What does that say about me???

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Chaka-khan

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: What does that say about me???

First Impression: This feels like a coming of age poem where the author is reflecting on things in their life without actually saying. The author has chosen to be vague so the reader is left wondering what the author is worried about what is sad.
What needs your attention: I think the poem needs tweaking so the cadence flows smoother for one. Two the poem would be more impactful if the author said more what they don't want to see and why. Is it because of cultural restrictions because that is what the reader feels in the beginning of the second stanza.

What part I liked best: This reader likes the closing stanza because the author is indicating they're weighing things in their mind that should or shouldn't be said. What that says is you're walking a thin line on how you feel and what you dare feel. It's wise to be careful not to be hurtful to others but it's equally as important to be truthful to ourselves.

Overall impression: This free style poem gives the author the opportunity to look at things he doesn't want to see but they exist. The cadence was off so the poem felt like it needed smoothing out specifically in the second stanza.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Be true to one's self.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

29

#4745473

Review of Martell 2024

for entry "Led by a Cat"

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Maryann

Happy Anniversary}

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Martell 2024 Led by a Cat

First Impression: I couldn't resist seeing how you responded to the prompt. The cat wagging his tail is adorable. The poem tells a story like a ballad with a beginning and ending but with end rhyming stanzas. Sweet ending indeed because the kitty now has a home.

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything I would change except I am wondering why you said Joyous thought to name him Honey but then in the next stanza called the cat Bunny. The end rhyme worked very well.

What part I liked best: Naming a cat is quite a process, and I agree it must be unique. Honey feels perfect for that kitty. My cats are named after poets with the exception of our youngest cat Pumpkin. He was named by the youngest grandchild. Mine are W.B.Yeats aka Yeatsie and Macavity afer T.S.Elliot's poem Cats. Yeatsie loved to be read too, Macavity thinks he can defy gravity.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the poem. The pacing was good and the rhymes felt natural. Nicely done. Happy anniversary, Maryann. It's been a pleasure visiting your port.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? I gave you Blog City's merit badge because it was one you didn't have.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

30

#4745312

Review of The Rain Just Kept Falling

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Bikerider

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Rain Just Kept Falling

First Impression: I remember when my uncle went to Nam, he was the never same after being there. I never understood why he talked about the rain and how those days were the best. Course I was youngster and he didn't explain a lot to me. Your story did and I remember his conversation with my Mom.

What needs your attention: Not a thing.

What part I liked best: New Guy, is also familiar because my uncle drinking with my father after us kids were supposed to be in bed talked about not wanting to know the new guys name because it was easier to bury someone you didn't know.

McCarthy was an exception, he looked out for the new guy. And his parting gift a special act of kindness that was remembered long afterwards. By the looks of the picture, the ring still holds a special fondness for McCarthy.

Overall impression: This story gives those of us who didn't serve in Nam a glimpse into a soldier's life and what they faced without going into the gory aspects of war.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Thank you for serving.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

31

#4745308

Review of The Darkness and I

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Staine

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Darkness and I

First Impression: I enjoy dark poetry very much so I decided to visit this poem initially because of the title. I like the one line opening and one line closing. It brings the reader into the poem and tells them when to leave.

What needs your attention: The first stanza throws me a bit because Just me and my thoughts and the line is repeated in the first stanza but isn't repeated again to carry the imagery of being alone. If the repeat matters than why wasn't the sadness is my thoughts not repeated nor in in the final stanza don't share my thoughts. I think the poem would be powerful with the repeats reminding the reader even in the darkness thoughts thrive.

I'm also curious why in the final stanza is don't is repeated.

What part I liked best: I like the final stanza just I would tweak it like this.
I don't understand myself
or the words I might say
Don't feel the tears I shed
or the anger welling inside
I won't share my thoughts.

Overall impression: The poem's cadence is off slightly in the second stanza with the line Loneliness is the darkness I'm in. If you read it out loud, you'll see it slows.
Darkness and loneliness are mine is a quick fix.

I think the poem just needs a bit of tweaking to reach its full potential.
Anyway, my suggestions are just food for thought.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Hope your enjoying the games.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

32

#4745189

Review of Blog: tracker's place

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blogging Circle of Friends

Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Tracker

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Blog: Tracker's Place

First Impression: I've never taken the time to review your blog for that I apologize. I see you've added the new insignia for BCoF. After the Games I will have StoryMistress create the new merit badge to match. I don't know if you knew Gervic did the graphics for us.

I have to agree computer issues are annoying but having no internet to me is so much worse.

What needs your attention: Did you realize there's a duplicate entry for Pi-Day. I didn't notice any punctuation or grammar issues, not that I really looked.

What part I liked best: That's so cool to become a yellow case and to win a Quill in the same time frame. I remember when I became a blue cas I sent Storymaster an email asking him if he made a mistake. I was flabbergasted.

The entries are articulated well and enjoyable to read. I've never considered writing to-do-lists in my blog, that's kinda neat. My to-do lists are on scrap papers scattered all over the place

Overall impression: Like all of us real life intervenes and our blog is neglected. The nice part its there when we return.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Hope you're enjoying the games.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

33

#4745184

Review of Game of Thrones - House Lannister

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blogging Circle of Friends

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Tracey

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Game of Thrones- House Lannister

First Impression: I've read some of your entries in your book. First of all, I must say how sorry I am about the loss of your grandson. It's not easy burying a grandchild. MY grandson was killed in 2019 and I haven't been the same since. Thanks for the update on Kit, I didn't know she moved to Scotland.

What needs your attention: I wouldn't change a thing, your entries are perfect the way they are.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the tanka immensely. So true about leaving home everything does change. When I left Maine for New Jersey it was an eye opener. High speed internet, reliable cell service all the things I never had in rural Maine. When we decided to move from New Jersey, my friends tried to talk me into moving back. I spend two weeks and it was clear I was an outsider and the things I had grown accustomed to weren't available. So here I am 3000 miles across the country enjoying all the things I want.

I was pleased to see more poetry entries. Whoa, girl you do like the tankas. I would be nervous if my cats started talking. I'm sure I would get an earful.

Overall impression: It's a fun journal to read, You're a worthy opponent and ally.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Poetry is your jam, girl!
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

34

#4744995

Review of In all I do

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Emerick

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: In All I Do

First Impression: The author did a four stanza with aabb rhyming pattern that doesn't feel forced. It flows smoothly from stanza to stanza. Romance is definitely your wheel house. Hopefully, your taking advantage of all the writing opportunities in The North Remembers.

What needs your attention: There are no punctuation or grammar issues. It's a free-style poem with an end rhyme pattern that the author has worked to his advantage.

What part I liked best: The opening two lines introduces the reader to the narrator and his love interest. The next two indicate they've got a connection the narrator values. In the next stanza there appears not everything is going as the narrator desires and friends are concerned. The narrator realizes love is like a beacon of light. In the final stanza the narrator realizes that together anything is possible. A beautiful tribute to love.

Overall impression: The cadence in the poem works. The rhyming feels natural. The poem tells a story from the beginning to the end. I enjoyed the poem very much.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Enjoy the games.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

35

#4744984

Review of The Road Less Travelled

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Frigid,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Road Less Traveled

First Impression: I like the direction you took in the first challenge of the Games. I like the menu items were tied to reading genres. That could be a fun menu for sure. I would have to try each one out before my vacation is done.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar issues. But I did see a spelling error in this sentence to spend the summer before collage -- college. It's in the first paragraph.

What part I liked best: I'm like your character my phone is never charged when I need it for directions so I am conscious of the battery.

Interesting name for a book cafe in the historic district. And yes food and a cup of coffee sounds perfect on a day of adventure.

Overall impression: The story fulfilled Gaby's prompt, kudos! There are a lot of long sentences that slow the pacing in the story. Joy

has a really helpful static item for pacing you might find helpful

STATIC

Pacing

(13+)
Pacing is manipulating the storytime to give the story its flow.
#1556311 by Joy

. It's worth the time to check it out.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Hope you're enjoying the games.
Image #2315526 over display limit. -?-

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

36

#4744968

Review of Mourning Hair

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Elizabeth

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Mourning Hair

First Impression: I can relate to this poem especially after my grandson was killed in a dirt bike accident. I didn't comb my hair, or even get dressed for days. Like you it didn't feel worth the effort. I'm sorry for your loss.

As to the poem, the free-style form works very well here.

What needs your attention: In the second stanza I don't think you need gone. With my hair fierce and will gives the reader the image you want and it flows smoother.

What part I liked best: Disaster hair in the first stanza set the imagery and the flow of the story in the poem. The narrator is grasping at something within her control but can't quite get there understandably so.

Readers of this poem struggling with grief will find comfort in the poem. I know I did. I never asked anyone if they worried about their appearance during a difficult time so it's nice to know I was reacting normal.

Overall impression: Grief is a matter of baby steps and writing down our feelings is a great way to process not only the anger, the loss and the confusion it helps us give a voice to each emotion during.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
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37

#4744960

Review of Those Who Live in Grass Houses

for entry "A Slight Adjustment"

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Beholden

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Those Who Live IN Grass Houses Entry: A Slight Adjustment.

First Impression: As I read I wondered about the Grass Houses, then it hit me like a bread. It's the blog title not the story title which I corrected in the title area of this review.

Yes, reviews matter in the literary world and a reader who doesn't consider the broader scope of the star really shouldn't be reviewing. It can make or break an author's spirit.I've received some that made me question writing at all.

I'm trying to picture outrageously dashing hair in my head. What exactly is that?

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything I would change. I appreciate the larger font size.

What part I liked best: Mr. Rhodes discussing with Mr. Brenner about the one star he received and how it came to be. The questions asked and answers given in my mind would make for a great comedy routine.

Overall impression: The pacing was good throughout the story. Dialogue worked very well in keeping the story moving. I loved Mr. Rhodes parting comment to Sally when she asked if he got what he wanted and he replied I always do. Clearly that man knew how to debate.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Nicely done!
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

38

#4744948

Review of Activities entries

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Angelica

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Activities Entry

First Impression: Curiously missing a lot of entries for the Game Of Thrones that you chose to participate in for the month of April. Is this something you really thought through when you made the commitment.

It's clear to this reader that the author's interest lies in poetry because of the numerous entries.

What needs your attention: Obviously, the lack of writing is what jumps out first. The second is the amount of invalid entries.

What part I liked best: The Road Less Traveled Entry about Lily taking the road less traveled was an enjoyable read. It's so true not simply following the masses and to do the right thing as Lily did with the cow. She made the owner happy his cow was safe and in turn he promised to give her something she missed out because of her act of kindness.

Overall impression: The writing I see in this journal is sporadic and doesn't reflect what the other members of her team are doing and this concerns me. I'm unsure as to what the author thought the games were going to be like and how much writing was actually involved.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Sorry if this review feels harsh but I'm truly wondering why you wanted to participate in the GOT?
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39

#4744920

Review of Lucky Irish

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Sindbad

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Lucky Irish

First Impression: I chuckled because I took each of my sons when they were finally of legal age to our local bar. They both liked the drink choice I amde and recommended others for me to try. Yup, they had already been experimenting.

My whiskey of choice is Jameson's. The blended whiskey slides down so smooth and I can afford purchasing it more often than the Redbreast. Plus, they're Irish like me.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any spag as Joey likes to call spelling, grammar and punctuation issues.

What part I liked best: Not letting the Jameson or the Redbreast go to waste. I wish Redbreast wasn't so dang expensive. We have a bottle of the 12 year but drink it only on special occasions. By the time we finish it might be 27 years.
I agree with your son, not a beer drinker.

Overall impression: This was a delightful story about a father and son that this reader could relate to with her own experiences with her sons. It was engaging and held my interest from beginning to end.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? I raise my

to you kind sir.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

40

#4744912

Review of Angel in Wonderland

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Green Willow

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Angel in Wonderland

First Impression: I've read a few of your entries and was impressed with your openness. I could feel your hesitancy and then saw you persevere on. Kudos. I think we surprise ourselves when we do accomplish something that we have doubts about. I hope you enter again now that you've tried it once. If you glance at Princess Megan Rose GOT Fox

book one and book two, you'll see her growth in writing confidence as well.

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything I would change in your book setup or the entries themselves. Nicely done!

What part I liked best: I found the my love with h amusing and nicely done. I was impressed with how the h's felt like they fit perfectly.
I also agree with you about Drowning of Tears, that prompt would be difficult for me as well. My grief is still so raw and overwhelming I'm not sure what or where it would take me.( My thirteen year old grandson was killed. Nothing in life prepares you for that.)

Overall impression: The entries were thought provoking and well written. I found the author's writing enjoyable.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Look at you, from Wonderland to Game of Thrones. Baptism by Fire!
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

41

#4744906

Review of Wonderland Going Down The Rabbit Hole 2

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Megan

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wonderland Going Down the Rabbit Hole @

First Impression: I laughed seeing all the images in your folder for this activity, you're definitely enjoying the adventures in Wonderland. I noticed this was book 2 so you're doing it a second time.

What needs your attention: I feel like there should be a comma after Wonderland in your title. The book entries are in an order which works well for this activity. I didn't see anything I would change.

What part I liked best: I read your beginning and final entry in this journal. The one I noted in both entries is your lack of belief in your writing. Megan, you're a very capable writer. It's very obvious to this reader, you're passionate and tackle every writing experience with an open mind and anticipation of the journey.Please stop doubting yourself. We all see a talented author; you need too as well.

Overall impression: The author completed the tasks of Wonderland, kudos! Her detailed entries made this reader envious that she hasn't tried this activity herself. I found the entries fun to read.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? I'm really proud of you, Megan.
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42

#4744903

Review of Wonderland

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wonderland

First Impression: First, I want to say Mona would be very pleased with what you've created. There's so many awesome writing activities I'm regretting not signing up to do. But there was just too much happening in my personal life that I didn't feel I could commit. But then I wasn't going to do the games either and here I am. I'm definitely going to next year.

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything I would change. All the drop notes work perfectly and the graphics are awesome.

What part I liked best: The Pool of Tears I found appealing as did The Queens Croquet Ground. I could write a ton in both of those prompts.
How Doth The Little Crocodile by Lewis Carroll is a peom I've read to my grandchildren when they were younger.

Overall impression: This Wonderland experience encourages the author to write outside of their comfort zone in a encouraging environment as they progress in the game for the month. I read a couple of the different blogs and was impressed with their determination. Great choice of Judges, because they definitely had their work cut out for them.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say?????
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43

#4744891

Review of We Don't Age

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Norb, it's been a while.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: We Don't Age

First Impression: What caught my eye was the odd picture beside the title so I was curious how they connected together. And I see you didn't disappoint either. Evolution never did have that in mind speaks volumes to this reader.

What needs your attention: In the first stanza, it's just the carrying on of carrying on feels forced to this reader. Every other line in both stanzas flows nicely but this one is clunky.

What part I liked best: The second stanza says so much to me about life opening with a rose that have lots of thorns which plays in very well to the plans aren't the same as we arranged. Hell no they're not because I would have never buried a grandchild. Nor would I live in fear of a phone call that says my son (grandson's dad) has finally succeeded in his death. I know you all to well what kind of pain that inflicts. The ending feels like closure to me reminding the reader that our time is in the moment and we need to live now.

Overall impression: A thought provoking poem that not only reminds the reader of her own life's journeys but also that the author struggles on his as well. The connection in life we all need.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Are you missing Charlie too?
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44

#4744682

Review of Over My Dead Body

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Sandra

Happy Anniversary

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Over My Dead Body

First Impression: Wow, I've said a lot of those expressions myself. I'm particularly fond of I have nine lives like a cat. I'm always telling my husband that I'm one of the cats. And when my sons were home I would say over my dead body more times than I can count.

What needs your attention: My only recommendation is to use white space in your favor. In between paragraphs gives the reader the opportunity to pause and absorb. As it is makes the reader feel like they have to keep going.

What part I liked best: What a delightful surprise on the headstone. Yup, I think Mom scored the last word big time. I don't see anyway for her daughter to top that. Except maybe having pigs fly over the graveside service.

Overall impression: This was an funny and sad story all bundled nicely together. The pacing worked very well. The mom and daughter's relationship felt natural.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Team Florent wouldn't be the same without you! Thank you for all you do!
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45

#4744630

Review of If You Were Only Perfect

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Zeke,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: If You Were Only Perfect

First Impression: My first question is why you chose to write the first three stanzas with three lines and the last two stanzas with two lines. I don't see anything mentioned about poetry style requirement so I am curious. You know I love poetry and always seeking to learn more.

It's a true tribute to your wife or significant other.

What needs your attention: Nothing the word choices tell an interesting story about some one who is loved very much.

What part I liked best: Artists wanting to paint her likeness says a lot about how the author sees the love of his live. And there's no doubt because later on in the poem he seeks to make her a queen but in the conclusion he reminds her that love isn't perfect nor does she have to be to be the love of his life.

Overall impression: She's a very lucky woman to be loved like that. I know what love like that is now, I didn't in my first marriage but I'm so grateful for it now.

The poem stanzas build upon the other to weave a tribute to a woman who is loved very much. The pacing is good. The word choices make it all come together.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Poets forever.
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46

#4744627

Review of Her First Time

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Zeke,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Her First Time

First Impression: I wondered why the warning about don't jump to conclusions but once I read it I started laughing. I know I'm not alone in where my mind went with that title. Good one.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors.

What part I liked best: The girl being assured that it won't take long. I've had a couple dentists tell me that too and that wasn't the case. It's hit or miss on that one.
I don't about you but my first extractions were wisdom teeth and he did it with Novocain unlike today's sleeping gas or in the hospital. My jaw ached for days after that.

Overall impression: The author presented a short story to the reader with a teasing headline and a warning in the subtext that invited the reader into a surprising story about a girls' first tooth extraction. The pacing was good and held my interest from beginning to end. Especially the ending when I was laughing at myself for how quickly my overactive imagination wandered.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Nicely done, Zeke.
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47

#4744569

Review of Dreams

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Theresa, are we having fun yet?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Dreams

First Impression: If only these artists knew what we're doing to their work. Great song choice because it allows the author to change the interpretation in so many different ways by redacting various words. The tone is so much different than the original song. I bet they would want royalties on the poem too.

What needs your attention: Not a dang thing, girl. You nailed it. Redaction poems give the author the opportunity to play with words on the page.

What part I liked best: Initially, the reader is asked if we want freedom but then dares us to feel it but also to listen. Did we think about the loneliness? Will we go mad with remember what we had and then what we had. It all comes raining down on us but is that enough to be loved or like other women simply go.

Overall impression: The poem draws us into the sadness of all that we have lost, choices we made all come down to the stark reality we're afraid of loneliness.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? Fleetwood Mac rocks.
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48

#4744501

Review of Never Goin Back Again

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Purple Princess

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Never Goin Back Again

First Impression: Fleetwood Mac did some amazing songs, and this is one I enjoyed. I like the poem as a poem but I'm not seeing a redacted format. Portions of the original text are kept, while other parts are drawn over or crossed out.

What needs your attention: A bit of tweaking will get this as needed. I showed you what your entry should look like.

She broke down and let me in
Made me see where I've been
Been down one time
Been down two time
I'm never going back again
You don't know what it means to win
Come down and see me again
Been down one time
Been down two time
Mmm
I'm never going back again"

What part I liked best: I loved the song choice. Welcome to Redacted poetry, it's a challenge in itself

Overall impression: You're a team player, Theresa and we're honored your on our time. But in all honesty, this poem needs some attention. Please don't kills the messenger, it's said with good intentions.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? It's a frustrating day in the Games

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49

#4744473

Review of The Train

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !

Hi Sorji

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Train

First Impression: What a great metaphor about how oblivious humans can be in their daily actions. We're so tunnel-visioned on our needs we don't see the path of destruction we've created. Good use of the villanelle's style to tell the story.

What needs your attention: I can't think of anything I would change other than the category of supernatural. I'm not sure your poem fits there. I would choose adult, or experiences.

What part I liked best: Ignorance and avoidance spilled forth stanza is really powerful. It encourages self-reflection. It also reminds the reader that the author sees it all.
I also thought the desolate tracks reminds us that we may feel alone but in reality the carnage of our actions will be there too.

Overall impression: The pacing of your poem was like the train as well charging ahead making the reader feel the momentum as well as see the damage humans create everyday without a thought of the recourse. Good word choices to drive in the message.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say????? There's a lot of poetry contests here on WDC. I think you should enter your work and get it noticed more.
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50

#4744329

Review of R.S.V.P.

Review by Lyn's a sly fox

In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...

Rated: E

| (5.0)