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Review of I Remember Daddy  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Neva, yup I'm still here

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I remember Daddy.

First Impression: I think our family history is always interesting material for future writing exercises. I believe that we can retain memories that young although most people argue it's not possible. I have a weird memory myself around the age of two about leaving my bottle, {before the sippy cups became norm) my father's coffee cup was and taking his cup of coffee. I remember sipping the coffee and spilling some of it out of the awkward cup onto my white dress. My grandmother telling me that it was bad for me.

What needs your attention: in this sentence I think you intended to say belting not betting. "by the front of his t-shirt and started betting him."
In this line I think she sounds better than her. How did... George, told you. Didn't her?"


What part I liked best: I thought the dialogue between the sisters felt real and carried the story along nicely. I liked the cheshire grin on Jezebel when Magyn left the groceries and an overnight bag before speeding away because her plans had been foiled.

Overall impression: The story line felt believable and flowed smoothly. There were a couple of sentences that need the author's attention but overall a very enjoyable read. I enjoyed the character dialogue very much so. I could easily see it happening in my head.
Lady Lyn Signature


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152
152
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Neva

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I Never Saw Grandpa Wear Blue Jeans

First Impression: I chuckled because our grandfathers share something in common, maybe it was that era but no blue jeans for either of my grandparents on each side. I wonder why what the stigma was because now they are a norm regardless of age.

What needs your attention: This freestyle poem tells us a story about the author's grandfather. There is no rhyming pattern or a set form to critique. It flows smoothly in the free style storytelling.

What part I liked best:{/cas} His ordinary day were a lot like my grandfather's in Vermont and going to town or church clothes were never worn to do chores. They were for special occasions only. My grandfather always wore the dickie work pants and shirts and work boots for work and he had a nice pair of dress pants, white shirt and cardigan sweater and loafers he wore to church, and into town for errands
I remember as a child coming home from town and not going inside to change but going directly to the barn to see what he was doing. I got manure on my shoes. Needless to say, after the whooping I received I never made that mistake twice.

Overall impression: I enjoyed reading about your grandfather and the reminder of days past with my own. Times have changed so much from those days. Jeans are worn everywhere

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lady Lyn Signature


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153
153
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Kare

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Tree of graduation

First Impression: As a letter I felt there was a bit of clunkiness in the second stanza that could be smoothed out. The remainder of the prose flows nicely.

What needs your attention: " Did I notice it back then, when in full splendor it stood along the path I strode?" I suggest I wish I had noticed it was in full splendor when I strode the path. " No more than you will see the beauty in its withered form today."


What part I liked best: I really like how you took us into the moment while you contemplated what memory to gift to Gaston.

Overall impression: I felt the vignette was a bit lost with the content. For me, it works as a prose poem with the rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration. I enjoy the creativity and imagery shown in this work. Kara, though when I write I prefer a more structured form.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? There was a lovely weeping willow that shaded me on many hot summer days while I wrote. It has since passed to that tree heaven but sometimes when I visit I feel a breeze and know it's there too.
Lady Lyn Signature


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154
154
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Joey

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Is absinence the best policy?

First Impression: 30 days without sex, that's asking a lot for newlyweds. What a meanie, Joey!

What needs your attention: I didn't see anything but then I was laughing so much that if there were errors I didn't care.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when she dragged the poor guy off to church and then volunteered them for the 30 day challenge. Then when I got to the punch line after hearing hubby confess his attempts to avoid having sex with his wife to the pastor I burst right out laughing.

Overall impression: I've actually been inside an Albertson's when we visited Vic's Mom. We don't have them on the east coast. The story was delivered with a nice pace and the build up was perfect. The picture complimented the story and reminded the reader that the punch line was in a grocery store.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? This fox with her warped mind wants to know if there is some truth in the story since writers write what they know. *BigSmile* Just asking????
Lady Lyn Signature


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155
155
Review of You Did What ??  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Winnie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: You Did What??

First Impression: This story reminded me that newspapers used to be printed this way. It's been quite awhile since I've heard a story about type setting. Newspapers have evolved and I'm not sure for the best.

What needs your attention: I didn't see any punctuation or grammar errors. The story flows smoothly and the punch line was delivered perfectly.

What part I liked best: Larry's feeble attempts to explain to Steve that it was a mistake. Steve wasn't open to discussion and Larry realized it was hopeless. I smiled seeing him carry his wife's picture under his arm as he left the building for the last time. He's a class act.

Overall impression: My only regret in reading the story was I would have liked seeing what the differences were actually in the newspaper. Although, with the restrictions of the flash fiction there probably wasn't enough space to do so.
Your characters felt real and I could see myself in the room with them when the scenarion unfolded. Poor Larry.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Larry was ready for a vacation anyway. I hope he is enjoying his days on the beach.
Lady Lyn Signature


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156
156
Review of Double Wide  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Ken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Double Wide

First Impression: When I saw comedy was the genre I knew exactly which port to visit and you definitely delivered with this Walmart special. I thought the picture complimented your humorous tale of redneck love.

What needs your attention: This free style poem with quatrains and a specific rhyming pattern works very well. Each stanza contributed to the next smoothly and the pacing was dead on.

What part I liked best: Walmart does seem to attract some interesting clothing apparel on bodies of all sizes. Abandoning my cart of beer made me chuckle that's true love cos no redneck parts with his beer easily. Nor would a redneck be stopped by a little incest. Great conclusion to a humorous poem.

Overall impression: I think poetry opens the door to so many different topics using minimal words to tell a witty tale and you delivered this gem in grand style, almost with double-wide applause.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Ken slings out poetic humor and brings laughter to his readers better than anyone I know.
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157
157
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Cheri

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Cancer Does Not Care

First Impression: As a three-time cancer survivor I want to congratulate you for writing about a topic dear to my heart. I also want to congratulate you on your own victory. As the poem title noted it doesn't care how old or how young you are when it strikes.

What needs your attention: Let's begin with the rhyming pattern in the second stanza, 3rd and 4th you have the first two lines rhyme where as you don't in the first. The first stanza lacks the same pacing as the next three.
To keep the pattern I suggest to match my indecisive sadness within.

What part I liked best: I connected with the poem because as a patient initally you notice how every thing goes on while feeling frozen in place with a death sentence. I hated how the drugs felt so the second stanza rmeinded me that every patient feels the same. Patience was not one of my virtues either, I wanted to be anywhere but there and yes we never lose sight of those dependent on us. They are our life line, when we feel like we can't do it.

Overall impression: The poem reminded this reader of her own experience but also it can let a reader know what a patient feels as well. Well done, Cheri.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? It's a difficult topic to address and you did an excellent job.
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158
158
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Judith

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sanguine Tenacious Tidings

First Impression: It's always so much fun reading your entries because they're informative and engaging. I love how you connect different bloggers on the trip and note their unique talents like Neva, for incidence and her poetic skills. I agree she can write poetry.

What needs your attention: There was nothing distracting to this reader/ leader like punctuation or grammar, I can't say I was looking either I was enjoying the different entries.

What part I liked best: I didn't realize you're from Port Orange, I hope you enjoyed exploring. This is the great part of virtual traveling we learn so much about different areas without all the risks. Venezuela is not a country I would feel safe visiting right now with all the crime. Guyana is flagged as well as dangerous. As I was putting all the information together for our trip I was suprised how many South American countries are flagged as dangerous.

Overall impression: I like how you provide more information for the group to explore and expand their knowledge. Thank you for all your contributions to the activity. Very thoughtful entries, Judith.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Bueno noches,nina, duerma bien
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159
159
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Carly

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Carly's Rambling Blog- Styele

First Impression:The entries are always enjoyable to read. I've always appreciated your directness about the different topics over the years.
What needs your attention: Not a dang thing, a blog is supposed to be fun and a way to get one's mind open to writing regularly.

What part I liked best: The wound of not knowing struck a chord with me because my oldest daughter I placed for adoption when I was in high school. I never knew where she was or with who and it worried me all the time. Lael reached out to me when she was 21 and she voiced the same issues of not knowing.

Your entries about South America are engaging and full of fun stuff for any reader to enjoy about the different cities. It's always fun doing these virtual trips because you learn so much a long the way with a group of fun people.

Overall impression: Blogging is an interesting way to open one's mind to opportunities in writing. Every day has so many possibilities to expand our skill set and to make new friends.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Buenos Noches nina, duerma bien
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160
160
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Ken, how are you?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: To Begin Again

First Impression: Interesting poem with a specific form maintained through out. I like the cadence and how easily it flows off the tongue when reading

What needs your attention: The quatrain with a common meter works very well for this poem. It didn't feel forced. Kudos

What part I liked best: I enjoyed how you closed the poem with dreams of a new Garden of Eden. From learning that H. G. Wells work was done was a great reminder of other believers that goals are achievable. Is it possible to control any situation once greed enters a picture? It worries me that if we ever do make it to another planet that we'il repeat all of the same mistakes again.

Overall impression: A quatrain works very well and the fact that you followed a specific meter was a pleasant surprise for the reader. Thank you for delighting this reader.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write ON. Ken, your work, unlike H. G. Wells, is not done.
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161
161
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Webbie,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I Hate Early Morning Visitors

First Impression: I didn't get the feel Lou hated early morning visitors he disliked having cops visit him in the morning. Probably anytime is more like it. I feel the same way, I need a pot of coffee to be civil and having a cop at my door wouldn't be a good thing.

What needs your attention: This time I clearly felt like I was with Lou the whole time. I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors. The story flowed smoothly from scene to scene.

What part I liked best: Lou likes his dames, that jumped right out at me. He shmoozed Estelle with his charm at the perfume counter and she had no idea he wasn't really shopping. Estelle paying off the bad guy to protect her husband from her past was sweet. I loved Gloria showing up at the end and he had Valentine's Day covered. Lucky!

Overall impression: Lou seems to have knight in shining armor covered, I've read two pieces and both times he's shot a guy to save the dame. Columbo would be proud of you both, nice endings!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Lou is a saofty! Okay, on to the next port 10 team members and 20 reviews so I need to get my butt moving.
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162
162
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Webbie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: One Busy Night in Chicago

First Impression: Lou Ryan's voice as I read sounded just like a private eye I knew back in the day. He fancied himself as Columbo, some days even dressed like him.

What needs your attention: We're in Lou Ryan's voice throughout the story except for one spot where you head hopped over to Gloria's. Everything I've learned in the classes I am taking says don't switch POV. So you could easily do it this way have Lou Ryan repeat it out loud like Columbo used to do
"Her name was Gloria Kranski. She had been dating Vinny for several months. She knew he was involved in some shady business, but she could not believe he would murder someone. When she let out that scream, Vinny looked at her as though she was his enemy. After she ran from him, she caught a cab that was cruising by the restaurant. She jumped in and told him to drive away, anywhere. She looked out the back window and saw Vinny's men running toward the cab, but we moved away before they caught up to us. She made the cab stop a couple blocks from this place, and just kept walking. She noticed the light on in your office window; that's how she came here. It was just pure luck. Most offices in this area are closed up for the night. So, she wanted me to help her? She was a desperate woman."

What part I liked best: As I said earlier I love the voice that came in my head, he sounds macho and set in his ways, great character set up. The woman's characteristics fit every bimbo they portrayed on the show. So kudos for character development.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the story very much, I was glad Vinnie got what he deserved. The only thing I wasn't clear about was whether the goons took him away in the car or left him on the street. Guess I'll have to keep reading.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I won your team on the wheel of torture, aren't you lucky?
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163
163
Review of An Arm Beneath  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Elycia,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: An Arm Beneath

First Impression: It feels delightfully creepy to this warped sixty year old woman, I enjoyed it immensely.

What needs your attention: I'm going to give you a revised work of your poem, please read it out loud and then read yours as it is. I hope you hear how much better the cadence is by eliminating unnecessary words and changing tense. Just food for thought. Maybe I'll inspire you in different directions.
An arm extends from beneath the soil
in the darkest of the night.
The industrious diggers love their toil
unearthing and choking visitors in fright.

It's arising from the grave
expanding size three times.
Spotting visitors it gave them a chase;
desiring to commit many crimes.

Unseeing, silent; thus day come,
multitudes of bodies appeared all around.
Cemetery in the morning, cold and calm,
More mourning living to be found.

And then night comes and darkness falls
An arm extends from beneath once more
In a thrilling, eerie scream it calls
Echoing the cemetery with its hideous roar.

What part I liked best: I'm a huge Halloween junkie and every ghoulish about that season. I start playing haunted music in August, decorate my home in September and it stays until Thanksgiving when I leap into Christmas decorations.

Overall impression: I love the interesting visual images that jumped into this overactive coffee stimulated mind.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Are we having fun yet?
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164
Review of The Sun Also Sets  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Hi Hooves, twice in one day, aren't you one lucky bull.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Sun Also Sets

First Impression: I love reading Hemingway in school. writing was direct and easy to follow with out all the added baggage of flowery adjectives and adverbs. A great writer to become obsessed over. There were a lot of interesting writers during that time. I loved the imagery of Hooves wearing a beret cocked to the side, classy look indeed.

What needs your attention: I didn't note any punctuation or grammar issues, I was enjoying Hooves's story too much to notice truthfully.

What part I liked best: I loved the imagery of Hooves moseying over to Hemingway, bulls are hardly small creatures so imagining him being delicate or unobtrusive was amusing. Especially when most readers are more familiar with the adage bull in a china shop.

Overall impression: I enjoyed visiting with Hooves and Hemingway, in this interesting twist about how Hemingway wrote about bulls in his future stories. The story flowed smoothly and held my interest from beginning to end.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? It's always a pleasure to visit your port.
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165
165
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Stephan

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Be Careful What You Tell Your Kids

First Impression: Oh my, can I ever relate. Thankfully, I didn't have the police department only the fire department at the house. Children absorb every detail of the adventure but never heed the warnings given. I'm glad your child and his friend were not seriously injured. This was an engaging and educational read.

What needs your attention: I didn't note any punctuation or grammars in my enjoyment of your story.

What part I liked best: I chuckled so many times as I read because it reminded me of so many incidences of my own children who tried like yours to relive the glory days. Drew must have had eyes as big as saucers when the police officer told him how much the fire cost the city of Los Angeles and that you would be responsible.
I know for my own sons and the gas bombs they created for a mock battle that they mimicked from a story of my youth. We re-enacted battles from the civil war. We hooked them to pitch forks and swung them like they were coming from canyons so we could see our enemies clearly. The difference is we did it in a large sand pit where there was nothing to ignite. My sons, on the other hand, lit the woods up behind our home and ended up burning our woodshed and our house. We were lucky we didn't lose our home completely.

Overall impression: Its fun reliving memories with our children about our youth but it always needs to be done with caution so as not to encourage unsafe actions. You did an excellent job of setting the reader up, sharing the event and the consequences so hopefully they don't make the same mistakes.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Just cos we're parents doesn't mean we know everything, does it. *Bigsmile*
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166
166
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Hooves

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Bovine Legend of Finnegan

First Impression: As I saw your piece in action/adventure I wondered if you had a selection for every category and I'd be visiting every day in August. *BigSmile* Finnegan is quite a name for an Irish bull and his story definitely was entertaining.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I like that you chose to do it in a ballad style poem. The poem had a nice pace and each stanza contributed smoothly to the next one without feeling forced.

What part I liked best: The princess, of course, rescuing the bull from the snotty butler. I'm always good for sappy endings. It made me smile to read the bull's arrival was foretold in her vision in her dreams and she had been expecting him. His travels were minor compared to what lies ahead of him.

Overall impression: This was an engaging ballad about Finnegan, the bull, and his journey far from home where initially he was rejected by a snotty butler but then saved by the fair princess who had seen him in a vision. A perfect fairy tale ending that will delight young and old alike. Good Job.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Until tomorrow my fair maiden.
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167
167
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Zikky,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title:

First Impression: I felt sympathetic for Nero, it's not a good feeling knowing your job is on the line. Great opening line with Nero had a life like most others

What needs your attention: There are a lot of details that aren't necessary or could be simplified to improve the pacing of the story. Sometimes less is better than too much detail as you have in the beginning of this story. You could simply say his morning routine involved a work out before the train. He was a creature of habit in the office, coffee, news, email before he began his work duties. Luckily for him most of his meetings were with his mouse and keyboard and not with real people. Just food for thought.

What part I liked best: I'm a sucker for making spaces my own, I could see his office in my mind including the 4:00pm visitor waiting for his daily handout. Taking the steps himself was ballsy and cool. I hated the idea of having anything bad like a firing on my work record so I would've done the same thing.

Overall impression: THe story is interesting, I found myself cheering for Nero. With that said, I think some editing and tightening up your story would be beneficial. Writers often think they have to put a lot of words on the page for a reader to get it, but usually less is so much better.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on
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168
168
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Jeannie, it's been awhile since we crossed paths, how are you?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Bosco Comes to the Farm

First Impression: This is an adorable children's story. I enjoyed the moral of the story very much and it feels appropriate today especially with the Game of Thrones going on. Together, we can face the demons and win.

What needs your attention: I'm sure with a children's book there will be illustrations clearly showing what kind of animal Bosco is but for me I had to think about what animal had a long neck and banana shaped ears. I hope it's a giraffe because that's the only animal I could think of with a long neck. I did not note any punctuation or grammar errors.

What part I liked best: I loved Gloria's outgoing attitude, she's a keeper. It's a great example for children to see how to interact with newcomers comfortably. Strangers are always challenging. The reminder from Boris about teamwork was a great conclusion to the story.

Overall impression: This was a beautifully told story from different animals on a farm with examples of social skills and a great moral at the conclusion for I think an ideal target audience for 3-8 years of age. Great job, Jeannie

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I can't believe I missed this gem from last year. Write on.!
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169
169
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Carol

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Behold, the Bread Tie Bandit

First Impression: Your story about Boo reminded me of my dog Angel, she was a black lab that ate everything but the kitchen sink and I'm sure she probably tried. We had many trips to the vets for rocks.

What needs your attention: Nothing,I noted with punctuation or grammar. I want to thank you for larger font size after doing 15 reviews today my eyes are tired.

What part I liked best: I loved how Boo presented you with the bread tie so matter of factly. She does know how to claim the scene doesn't she.
I also found it amusing that Mr. Hooves knew the answer to the bread tie, I thought they were metal as well and like you would have worried about Boo's safety.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the delightful tale of Boo's hiding the bread tie until she felt the timing was perfect for its return. Children and dogs sure know how to worry their owners. I will admit my cats don't stress me like that black lab used to do. Though I do miss her antics at times.
This was an enjoyable read about the ordinary life of the Hooves family and their four legged baby Boo.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
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In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Daughter of choice

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Wheel of Torture

First Impression: Initially, I thought leave it to Gaby to find a creative way to torture us all but after taking my first spin I enjoyed my experience and impatiently waiting for my next opportunity to spin.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it's very clear to me after 4 years of the games you've mastered creating forums and secret chambers.
I didn't note any punctuation or grammar errors, not that I truly looked that hard. Sorry, my filter is broken after being nice all day *Headbang*

What part I liked best: I thought the list was perfectly compiled with lots of different options. I still can't believe I got my number not once but twice. That's hilarious. The directions are very precise and easy to comprehend. I liked that there are going to be multiple choices available.

Overall impression: I can see you've been brain storming on this, your hard work jumps off the page in each crazy warriors face begging us to give it our best shot.

Thank you for allowing me to read or okay flop my jaws about your work. It has been my immense or maybe dubious pleasure depends on how the games go. *Rolling*


What does the Fox say?????
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-
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Review of Jesse  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and this is review 4 out of 5 from the wheel of torture.

Title: Jesse

First Impression: What a horrible injustice, it sickened me to know this is part of our history and there are probably a lot more Jesses than we know. I am appalled that people could commit crimes like this. I can't help but wonder how Lucy lived with herself after.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, you're an excellent author, I wish I was as talented as you clearly are.

What part I liked best: I liked the link so I could read what inspired you to write about Jesse. Yes, the pictures were graphic. I felt you gave Jesse a voice in your inspirational tribute to him. He certainly deserved a helluva lot more than he got. I still can't believe no one questioned the paper he unwittingly signed and everyone turned a blind eye to his conviction and torturous death.

Overall impression: I paused briefly to ponder about Jesse and the injustice he suffered at the hands of alleged Christians. He did not deserve the indignities he suffered, its horrible to me.
Your retelling of that event in history serves as a reminder that we can prevent injustices by not ignoring what is happening.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I'm sorry Jesse.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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172
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos!


Hi Kiya,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and this is review 3 of 5 for the Wheel of Torture # 85..

Title: White Case Memorial

First Impression: I had no idea so many authors on WDC had passed away. There are some names I never crossed paths with and others I simply thought had simply not kept their membership. This is a beautiful tribute.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the forum and the information is very easy to navigate. The tributes are beautifully displayed on the page with drop down menus so it does not look overwhelming. Nicely crafted.

What part I liked best: The short bios of the different authors and their contributions. I didn't know this existed or I would have come sooner. It's a lovely tribute Kiya. As I read the different authors bios and work I wondered what piece I've written will be featured when I'm gone. I need to get my butt writing so there are lots of selections to choose from inside of letting life get in the way.

Overall impression: Life deals us a hand to play and we do what we can with it. There are some very talented authors highlighted on this forum that clearly found their voice and did something with the deck they were dealt. Thank you for honoring each WDC author on your port.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You're a very special woman Kiya.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-
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Review of She wanted him  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number # 1 week of: April 27th- May 3rd
Yellow rose


Hi Wies,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: She wanted him


First Impression: The young woman was focused on her goal and luckily for her the man in question didn't resist.

What needs your attention: I didn't find anything that needed your attention other than I was hoping the girlfriend would interrupt the encounter. I know, I have a warped sense of humor.

Favorite Parts: Maybe next time, made me chuckle. Clearly, it was mutually satisfying to both and they left the door open to other possibilities. The characters are inviting the author to expand.

Overall Impression: An amusing short story about a sexual encounter without really spelling it out crudely. The story moved at a steady pace similar to a quickie encounter would if someone snuck off at a party as the characters did. Enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it with us today.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure! Lyn




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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174
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review number # 10 week of: 3/9-3/15
Yellow rose


Hi Bob,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Winter in Palm Springs


First Impression: I did not anticipate the ending in this morbid tale of a dystopian post-apocalpytic world.

What needs your attention: This story has excellent pacing and vivid imagery.

Favorite Parts: Mat talking with Beth while Jenny tried to remember the things he shared with their daughter, That was nostalgic moment for this reader, because she has shared things like that with her grandchildren.

Overall Impression: This story was interesting and a bit gorey for this reader but I made it through. I can't say killing people for food is my cup of cocoa, to quote a dear friend. Please take note that Lyn read more than poetry in March. Congrats on your quill nomination.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure! Lyn




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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175
Review of Never, Now, Then  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review number # 9 week of: 3/9-3/15
Yellow rose


Hidebmach

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

As a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Never, Now, Then


First Impression: The opening line and stanza are so inviting.

What needs your attention: This free verse is almost perfect. The last line hangs this reader up when reading it out loud. I suggest either a lover's song or and a loved one's song.

Favorite Parts: I enjoyed the lines today, forever in a blossom and the jubliant moon. The images delighted the reader.

Overall Impression: Excellent job.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure! Lyn




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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