*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
Review Requests: ON
2,045 Public Reviews Given
2,048 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of Birthday Island  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jeff, this is review 4 of WoT spin #60. Yay, I'm on to Sophie and then I can have a sloth moment.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Birthday Island

First Impression: There are parts of this poem I felt were forced and lacked the magical flow that your other end rhymes had.

What needs your attention: It would have been helpful to the reader to have the explanation of the form.
A Rondeau is a French form, 15 lines long, consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR. Lines 9 and 15 are short - a refrain (R) consisting of a phrase taken from line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the same metrical length).
I looked up the form so I could read the poem and the form at the same time.\More and corps and trip and gyp I found awkward and didn't flow as smoothly as they could have.


What part I liked best: I chuckled in the second stanza about God handing him an eternal pink slip. That was an unexpected touch which added humor.

Overall impression: The pome in this maanner encourages conversation without feeling preachy.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Sleep for the weary...not til after the games
Lady Lyn Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
227
227
Review of Virtue  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jeff, this is review 3 of 4 from my spin on WoT #60

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Virtue

First Impression: This was a mirror image of the companion piece Sin. Visually, it was interesting to see.

What needs your attention: Nothing the free verse done with quatrains with end rhyme works very well.

What part I liked best: Patience leap out me, I can appreciate the desire for some to add tact into the situation. All of the virtues are important and should be a norm but unfortunately are not a norm. It takes a lot of patience some days for me and tact is something I need more.

Overall impression: Visually and verbally appealing free form poetry wasn't a norm. I'm glad that poets are pushing the bar and raising awareness about spiritual topics in other ways beyond the bible which is quite tedious to read. This would be well served in a Sunday school setting with middle school age children to learn about spiritual topics but also to expand their spiritual knowledge,

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I think you've got free verse down. I can't wait to see what
else I discover.
Lady Lyn Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
228
228
Review of Sin  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jeff, this is review 2 for WoT spin #60

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sin

First Impression: INteresting subject choice for one's first free form. The poem flowed well and the end rhymes didn't feel forced.

What needs your attention: Seven sins discussed in seven quatrains in a free form which gives the author a lot of flexibility. I don't recommend changing a thing.

What part I liked best: Each quatrain addressed a different sin and the author's writing addressed the sin within the confines of a poem without making it feel forced at all. Nice cadence! My favorite was pride, yes vanity does affect some people's sanity and does seem to have a sharp sting warranted.

Overall impression: Nicely done, it wasn't preachy. It came across as very matter of fact and one can choose to ponder the sins or move on to the next piece that the author indicates is the second part of this poem

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I think after the games I'm going to commit the sin of sloth for at least a month.
Lady Lyn Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
229
229
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jeff, this is review 1 of 4 for spin #60 on WoT.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Times Tey Are A-Changin

First Impression: I've known quite a few soldiers after they've returned home so this story resonates hugely with me. The author discussed the difficult adjustment to civilian life.

What needs your attention: The punctuation and grammar are in order. The story flows smoothly from beginning to end.

What part I liked best: I thought the two interviews was dead on how many men feel when they return home unskilled in the civilian world and wanting to have a job but also dreading having a dead end job yet they can't refuse a job when they have family depending on them. The burdens they carry are more than anyone should.
I loved the ending with the family watching the fireworks and the peacefulness he briefly found with his family.

Overall impression: This was an excellent portrayal of how life is in the armed forces and what it's like to come home being a civilian.
My son is a Master Chief in the Navy. I am relieved that when he leaves the military the skills he has are useable in the civilian world. He's an underwater welder.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? A poignant story about a soldier returning to a different world than when he left. Very nicely done.
Lady Lyn Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
230
230
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joy, yay review # 4 and I only Jeff left to do. Phew, spin # 60 was time consuming especially with my head spiraling.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Deep-Writing or Moral Argument.

First Impression: Of HUman Bondage and The Sound and the Fury are both books I've read and enjoyed so this piece actually made sense to me. I'm learning the importance of character development so these flaws and weakness are easier to use and never have every characteristic match there have to be some conflicting traits that surprise the reader when the true desire become apparent.

What needs your attention: Nothing the grammar and punctuation rock.

What part I liked best: The explanations and examples worked very well and I think regardless of where you are as a writer this information will be helpful.

Overall impression: The author is very knowledgeable about writing and shares her knowledge with all on WDC. Which is very helpful to writers like me who are expanding their tools. Great advice, Joy.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Would you mind if I printed these documents to refer to when I'm not online. I always ask because some authors are okay but some are not.
Lady Lyn Signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
231
231
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joy, this is review 3 of WoT spin #60

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Epiphany or the Truth Grasped

First Impression: There is a lot to be said for coming across preachy or going to easy on character. Vic just nailed me on that with a story I wrote in Black and White about being preachy and not giving my protagonist any conflicts. After reading this, it makes sense what he was trying to explain to me. Though his explanation left a lot out too.

What needs your attention: Nothing the punctuation and grammar are in order. :)

What part I liked best: I wasn't familiar with Joyce's quote but as I read this for the second time it really says a lot about important light bulb over the head moment is in a story. I've read lots of books with those a ha moments but never looked at in this way. It comes down to what the protagonist learned a long the way that was different from the initial story and how they use that info. Cool.


Overall impression: Great information for any level writer,because everyone needs reminders on how to use their tool set.
I love Seamus Heaney's poem about his father. That to me is his epiphany moment when he realizes his father will not go away.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for putting such great info in your port.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
232
232
Review of Pre-writing  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Joy, yup I am still reviewing for the crazy wheel spin #60 on WoT.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Pre-writing

First Impression: There's a lot of information here and some really good ideas Joy. I can tell I need to spend more time in your port after the games because I'm learning more than I am in the class I paid to take. I journal every day with my trusty pencil and paper. And yes I have lots of interesting things in there but obviously, I could be putting a lot more.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the punctuation and grammar are in order. The information is presented in an orderly fashion.

What part I liked best: What got my brain thinking was the body journal, I never thought about recording that information. What a great resource to have on hand if I'm trying to have my character having a back ache for instance, I could look at my own journal and details to work with for insight.

Overall impression: Dangnabit, I really wished I lived near you I'd be picking your brain every day when I get brain cramped. Especially, this year since I'm going to give NaNoMo my first try. I feel like I'm jumping off a cliff and maybe the parachute will open. So with that said, I'm going to spend a lot more time reading and getting myself prepped with lots of good information.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Joy rocks!
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
233
233
Review of Miguel's Duty  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Robert,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Miguel's Duty

First Impression: The emotional turmoil Miguel felt was powerful and heartwrenching to this reader. My son is in the Navy, I pray he never has to be in a situation where he imagines his child's face during a military coo. As I read, I was scared Miguel was going to die saving the President's life, a man he didn't respect. I can relate to not respecting the President, I don't respect the one we have. I'm not alone, our country has become the laughing stock of the world.

What needs your attention: The punctuation and grammar look in order. The story flows smoothly and makes the reader want more.

What part I liked best: Miguel imagining his daughter without his presence made the whole story real for me. It allowed the reader to step into a military situation and see what that life is really like. The hardships and choices they make are difficult for a typical civilian to understand without having the opportunity to glimpse inside their world.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the imagery and tension of the story. Thank you for not ending Miguel's life, I didn't want him to die. I was kind of hoping the President would but more so because of our own leadership.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Impressive writing Robert, I'm never disappointed when I visit. I'm glad Lorraine directed us to this story since I had already review her first choice of Winter in Palm Springs It was a win situation for me.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
234
234
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jace, this is my 4th review and final review for the WoT spin # 60 in the Game of Thrones. Thank you for sharing your writing with me

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Her Plea Not Proud

First Impression: Another form I wasn't familiar with, the explanation helped and I went and read some more on this style so I understood it better.
The topic sounds like the author was discussing a marriage in trouble and the wife wanted to take her own life.

What needs your attention: Not a thing the explanation was clear and the author followed it precisely.

What part I liked best: The second stanza really struck the reader if she hadn't cried out she'd been gone and the husband would not have known how much his wife suffered. Communications is so important in a marriage. The poem demonstrates to the reader that silence can cause a lot of pain.

Overall impression: The author produced a nice story with a moral within a very rigid iambic tetrameter inside two rhyme quatrains.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Your poetic explorations were awesome! The reader is curious why the author has not continued with his explorations of Poetry.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
235
235
Review of A Perfect Day  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jace, this is review 3 of my assigned task for WoT spin # 60

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Perfect Day

First Impression: I like the simplicity of the Rondelet poem you created. This is the first time I've read one and I appreciated having the form explained. I had to read it a second time for it to process that the refrain was a perfect day. My brain can be overwhelmed at times and reviewing as much as I have been being probably half the problem.

What needs your attention: It fulfills the form and flows smoothly.

What part I liked best: I asked my wife to come away was lovely.The reader smiled and thought of times with her husband the when they've had the best times just enjoying time together walking. Romance needs to be nurtured and this is a good reminder to all the importance of spending time together laughing.

Overall impression: The form was explained with the poem which helped this reader understand the author's intent. The poem flowed smoothly with a nice cadence and the rhyme lines didn't feel forced. Kudos

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
236
236
Review of Island Time  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jace, this is review #2 of 4 with my WoT spin #60

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Island Time

First Impression: Wow, I've not seen a mirror acrostic before, it came out really cool.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, it met the criteria of an acrostic by spelling the title with the first letter of each line with an added twist the last letter of each line also spelled the title. The lines flowed smoothly and did not feel forced.

What part I liked best: It's funny I discovered this in your port today because this morning I declared to my husband that I needed a mental health break away from the computer and that I would like to see the sunrise at the ocean. I didn't have to ask twice we were there at 4:45 am drinking coffee on the beach. There is nothing more appealing to me than to see the sun glistening on the water. I definitely restored my abused self-esteem, the Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm is a stern taskmaster for sure, but I do adore her.

Overall impression: Excellent craftsmanship. The form was met and expanded with the author's creative flair.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
237
237
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Hooves

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Word to Whoever Cares to Listen

First Impression: This was good sound advice and some I should heed myself. I am guilty of not saying your welcome when people respond after crediting them for SP. I have limited time each day and responding to every thank you is something I simply blow off. So please accept my apology, I will try to at least say you're welcome to you.

What needs your attention: Nothing the opinions are sincere. There are no punctuation or grammar errors.

What part I liked best: That you made it a static item. It's good to nudge people in the right direction. I'm good about not over-committing myself. I don't run too many contests but I do donate to help others when I can. I agree with you about people hosting contests than never following thru with the activity after people have made donations. It's frustrating!

Overall impression: Some times the truth hurts but the bottom line is we all can have our reality sugar coated. Thank you for the reminder to be more aware of my actions.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Meow, meow *PawPrints*
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
238
238
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Kevin

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Stuttering Hedgehog of WW Two

First Impression: What an interesting way to introduce children to history. The story was easy to follow and fun to read. I love the stuttering hedgehog planning different strategies.

What needs your attention: My only complaint with the writing are the font size and the line spacing. I'm an older reader it would have been easier for me if the font was larger and the spacing further apart.

What part I liked best: The crow flying in formation doing their raids pooping on the Nazi's down below and the skunks enjoying their spraying missions made me chuckle. This would make for a great children's movie hearing all the animal's voices.

Overall impression: This was well-written story using different animals to talk about the challenges of fighting in the war. Each of the animals had unique duties and found enjoyment in their tasks.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I could hear Jim Carey being a crow leading a squadron in my head.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
239
239
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Kristina, it's been a while. How are you?

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Michael and the Marshmallow Squad

First Impression: This sounds like a cute children's story and I can see the illustrations in my head bringing the story alive for a child.

What needs your attention: This sentence is confusing, Kristina. Yes, he had magical powers, but he was to those for Michael only.
Did you mean the magical powers were only to be used to help Michael? It's not clear with the sentence as is.

What part I liked best: Michael and Jordan's relationship was written very well and the reader could feel his panic that Jordan is missing. A very compelling plot and interesting heroes.

Overall impression: This was an enjoyable read and I hope you continue with the story because I could easily see the marshmallows helping Michael and Jordan in other adventures as well.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hope this finds you and yours well.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
240
240
Review of The Dark Unicorn  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Jeff

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Dark Unicorn

First Impression: Two unicorns from different backgrounds trying to find a common ground. They appear to have an attraction but the author hasn't opened the door so the reader knows what will happen next.

What needs your attention: The character's name isn't consistent, Jeff. “What are you looking at” he asked, without even bothering to face her. Maryanne didn’t answer.
“I asked you a question”
“Do you always get an answer”, Marybelle responded. “Besides what’s with the attitude?”
“No attitude, I just don’t care for unicorns. Especially the soft pink kind”.

you have an extra into here--- ran into the into the woods behind him.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed Maryanne's stubborness. He seemed determined to make her bad enough to leave but she didn't rise to the bait. I also like that you left the reader wondering what will happen next so we'll come back to find out.

Overall impression: The author did a good job following the prompt, he definitely is not pink and doesn't have a fluffy personality.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write ON
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
241
241
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Brian,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Fade to Black

First Impression: This was a compilation of poems and the authors thoughts over a period of time. I saw a lot of familiar faces mentioned in your11 year celebration post. You joined the year before me.

What needs your attention: Nothing, each entry is different and there is no set guidelines other than enjoying yourself.

What part I liked best: There is a vast array of poetry that struck a chord with me. Meaning to try reminds the reader one foot a time forward. Sleep is over rated, don't you agree? One More Dand in Time reminds me how materialistic society really iS and maybe we need our singed toes to live. Intoxify, you and I talked about earlier today. Beautifully crafted poetry.

Overall impression: This blog was filled with different segmensts of Brian's life. I enjoyed spending time with you. Good luck with wattpad.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Writing is therapeutic @
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
242
242
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Webbie

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Hanging Out With Chad

First Impression: That was delightfully evil with Nora and Tina. It makes the reader wonder if you had siblings? Mine was always getting into my personal stuff. She also is the one who told my mother I was pregnant because I had kept my tampax in my dresser, I should have thrown them out so she wouldn't found any evidence but I wasn't wasteful.

What needs your attention: I think you forgot the a in started “Thank heavens, I haven’t really strted, yet"

What part I liked best: When Nora discovered that she was pregnant and then if that wasn't bad enough the guy was face timing with her sister. That's twisted and evil and I love it.

Overall impression: Sibling rivalry can be intense as the author indicates in this story written for Black and White. Nora and Tina argued realistically and the dialogue felt natural.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? When did you sleep, Gigie?
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
243
243
Review of Abnormalities  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Will

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Abnormalities

First Impression: I enjoyed the dark imagery of the setting. It had an eerie feeling which this reader finds very appealing. The introduction of death's door and twisted streets of human skulls was awesome.

What needs your attention: NOthing the flow was good and the stanzas added to each other as the tale developed.

What part I liked best: I loved the gait so familiar that it pained me as the reader meets the unspeakable menace and then the punchline is delivered that what the man saw was actually himself. That was twisted and delightful.

Overall impression: The reader was invited in a dark city setting where everything screams death and suffering except for a man with a humped back that to the narrator looked more dismal than the architecture but then he realizes it is actually himself. It is scary sometimes looking in the mirror and seeing what age has really done to us. I personally avoid mirrors at all cost. I know I'm old but I don't have to see it.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Dark and delightful, just like I like it.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
244
244
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Tinker1111

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: On a Starless Night

First Impression: This was a complicated poetry style. I'm impressed with how this all came together. The story flowed smoothly within the strict confines and felt natural.

What needs your attention: I certainly could see anything wrong. Thankyou for sharing the explanation it helped me understand what you were attempting to accomplish.

What part I liked best: The bleating of the fawn aroused my maternal instincts and I hoped that all would be good. I have to admit I jumped ahead to know the fawn was okay. Bobcats are fierce predators and usually don't give up that easily.

Overall impression: A beautifully woven story about a mama deer and her babies. One was stronger and able to be on its own briefly and the other wasn't so Mama stood her ground to protect her youngun against the predator. Great job!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Excellent imagery and pacing throughout the poem!
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
245
245
Review of The Silver Fox  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Dennis

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Silver Fox

First Impression: This was a poignant reminder that no matter how bad we think we have it there is someone who has it worse. Thank you for sharing this experience and your honesty about the event.

What needs your attention: Initially I thought the repetitive use of forgotten didn't need to be there but then I re-read the poem and realized the emphasis added to the sadness of the story.

What part I liked best: The re-telling of good old days echoes sadly as life quickly passes struck a chord as I find myself from time to time talking about the good old days. Tonight, when I lie my head on my pillow, I'm going to remember to say a prayer for those less fortunate.

Overall impression: Thank you for reminding all of us how truly blessed we are and reminding us that it could very well be us sleeping in an alley.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Yes, I do care and I help a lot with the local food cupboard.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
246
246
Review of The Turnaround  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Norb,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Turnaround

First Impression: The realization that no matter where you go or have been someone has been there is overwhelmingly sad to me. I long for a place that no one has touched just once in my life. I know after a hard rain sometimes I run outside so I can experience just for a moment that crazy moment of newness.

What needs your attention: Nothing the pacing and flow are smooth. The free style form works very well here.

What part I liked best: You're unspeakable but I can hear you struck a chord with me. Their voices never leave us, do they? Even walking the straight and narrow doesn't give comfort or peace. Beautiful imagery with the autumn of your presence.

Overall impression: There is a poignant sadness in this work and a gentle reminder to try even when it feels like you can't. Very nicely done, Norb.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? It is always a pleasure to visit your port, I'm never disappointed. *Heart*
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
247
247
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Gabriella

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A Snowy February Morning

First Impression: I don't miss those mornings anymore. I did 35 years in Maine and shoveled the driveway more times then I wanted. Mother Nature was a fierce opponent. The imagery is beautiful.

What needs your attention: Macadam is an unusual word and it might be helpful to place an explanation at the bottom of the page so the reader gets what the author is saying. I had to look it then the poem made sense to me.
The pacing is good and the descriptions are lovely.

What part I liked best: The birds laughing as they dug their way out of paradise in a race back to civilization. I chuckled as I envisioned that image. I used to have chickadees watching me shovel all the time in Maine.

Overall impression: This was a nice stroll down memory lane for the reader as she enjoyed your poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hope all is well with you Gabriella. The farmer's almanac is predicting a nasty winter for us. *Headbang*
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
248
248
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Michelle

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: You never get paid for your time

First Impression: AMEN! As a fellow crafter, I know exactly what you mean about people not wanting to pay for your time let alone cover the supplies. I used to do projects for people but don't anymore for that sole reason, people want everything for free or next to nothing.

What needs your attention: You have either a typo or a misspelling in this sentence. Thouse are all original designs with semi precious stones. It should be Those are all original designs with semi precious stones.

What part I liked best: I loved when the narrator offered the kit instead and the woman immediately didn't have time for that, of course not.

Overall impression:This struck a chord with the reader because she is also a fellow crafter. I quilt and crochet for my family only. Even sometimes I ignore the family requests because I don't see the things I have made displayed in their home.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? My current project is a 10-foot mandala for our bed, I discovered the video on youtube. I love being able to see the stitches done in the following a long craft project.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
249
249
Review of The Lonely Tower  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Ben

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Lonely Tower

First Impression: I didn't see that coming at all. I enjoyed the twist on Rapunzel very much. The setup was really good and held the reader's attention.

What needs your attention: The quatrains with the abab rhyme scheme worked very well. I think you nailed it!

What part I liked best: The mystery in the beginning about the room was enticing and then the delivery of the golden hair caught in the cracks. The tension and delivery were perfectly timed.

Overall impression: A traveler looking for a place to stay wandered upon a sign with a room to rent but at first the location wasn't visible but upon some searching he discovered the tower but it didn't have an opening. After a bit of effort he discovered a face and a jagged tooth and golden hair caught in the cracks, these discoveries impacted his decision. Wise choice in my opinion. He might have been trapped there too with the now not so lovely Rapunzel.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on, Ben.
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
250
250
Review of Trees  
Review by Lyn's a sly fox
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

A Review from "The Iron Bank of Braavos" !


Hi Daniel

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Trees

First Impression: The first two lines of your poem are clunky and need a bit of tweaking to improve the cadence of your piece. Everything else flows smoothly and feels natural.

What needs your attention: May I suggest this alternative opener to your poem.

Majestic beauty
rules the earth and sky
walking in the presence of greatness.

The reader doesn't know what the author is trying to say with beauty in majesty.

What part I liked best: Humbled by their immortal grace a never ending story says to the reader longevity and a peaceful existence are possible. Man could learn a lot from the trees.

Overall impression: The author wrote a lovely tribute to trees, he chose not to be specific about the type just trees. All of us are familiar with different types of trees and their contributions to society but often we overlook the fact that they filter the air we breathe as well.

The poem needs some tweaking but overall it is a nice tribute. My favorite trees are beech, red maple and the weeping willow. What are yours?

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Write on!
Image #2129195 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
780 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 32 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10