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This is pretty valid as describing winter. I am in Texas so its slightly different here, yet many things are the same
I like this poem. It is like a piece of coal just waiting to break free of its black shell and become the shining diamond that is hidden inside it!!
Your form is slightly inconsistant from stansa to stansa.. the rythm is choppy in some places but smooth in others... I would suggest (and take this with a piece of grain please) that you make your rythm and rhyme slightly more consistant and maybe shorten and lengthen other so it is more balance and pleasing to the eye and tongue... Just my two cents worth...
I welcome you here to WDC and I hope you meet many here like I have that has helped me grow and learn the little nuances of poetry... It sometimes can be quite daunting... If you need help getting from here to there please feel free to drop me a line
I like your style!!!! I like the way you show many different perspectives that are all you!!!
I dont think I have ever took the time to stumble around in your port, but I am now glad that our paths have crossed and that I have read your words!!!!
I will be back... I make my way through this site from time to time finding those whom I havent visited yet Have a good day my friend
John
Written by a dark pen with black ink. It has great promise and is very autobiographic I fear. but I think we all have been down this road you describe. I know I have... The only differnce was there was light at the end of my quest... I hope you too find the light my friend
John
Abstraction in the moat of a drawbridge that may never again raise. This is my first feelings in this vein of twisted arteries that threaten to entangle and choke the impurities and poisons that try to find a home in our physical beings.
You have a great imagination and when it overflows to your words it is a mystical thing!!!
I have enjoyed my little foray into your port and I plan on returning from time to time.
A look into your heart and soul is and eye opening experience... I had a little problem finding my way to your poems/lyrics but I had a good time looking around
John
Personification of this entity is quite well done here. I admire someone who can do it this well!!!!
I dont know what ever happened here at WDC... I used to give a review to someone and they would reciprocate within a day or week at very longest. Now usually I get: Thank you so much for your reveiw- Like they have just got a new "fan club member" or something and no return review or at least a Ill be by....
I am returning the favor my friend and hey who knows I might start a trend... Just think if others start doing this again it might catch on what do you think?
I hope that just wasnt the good ole Stories.com days....
I can relate only it is my children that have gone so far away. 1400 mile as a matter of fact. I cant ask them to hop on a Greyhound for the better of two days and wouldnt. I will one day get me a ticket and I will hop a Greyhound and what a grand day that will be
Thank you
John
I think perhaps its not the lack of being able to form thoughts it might be in the area of organizing them somewhat.
I go through this alot myself and I find I write down words and after putting this one here and that one there after a while there is a pattern that forms....
But that is just me...
I hope this helps...
Welcome To WDC I hope you meet those here that will help you to find your thoughts and help you to put them together so they convey what the message is you are trying to protray
Jerrick I applaud your efforts here!!! I too have seen this plight that has taken our trees and changed the world we live in. I hope to see you complete this soon. One of my first poems was very simular in nature. I detest this treatment of the world we live in today.
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Its good to see others that arent blinded by progress.
Your friend
John
Welcome to WDC. If you need some help getting around or help just ask many of us dont mind for we remember how overwhelming this site was when we were "newbies"!
You have illustrated a wonderful truth!!! That there is hope for those who seek it. I read this with great trepidation hoping that in the end it would come to be a positive story!!!
You wrote a very entertaining story that shows that anything is possible... It is stories like this I read growing up reading Readers digest. I thank you
John
Your poem is wonderful Barb!!!!
It has been quite a while since I have had a chance to read your words here I'm glad that you made your way back here. I am sure that there will be many poems forthcoming
It has been too long girl
Hope to see you posting more here from time to time!!!!
Yes I too believe in Angels on Earth and I think I also know this one too!!!
A wonderful and fitting tribute to one that has shared their help and their thoughts with us for the betterment and positivity that that have deep within!!!!
Not only can I identify with this... But I feel it in the pores of my skin and the depths of my soul.
Our earth can only abide so much abuse and her tolerance is coming to an end... One day we will all pay for the fortunes those in powerful positions have amassed...
Perhaps then the suffering will come full circle...
Thank you for this poem!! It speaks to me in vivid and enlightening way showing how far things have gone...
How powerful is this message!!!!! It does exactly what your title implies... It imparts wisdom!!!!
Some of my most valuable lessons I have learned were from experiencing them first hand... I have observed others making errors and used that to help me make some decisions but learning from your own mistakes always seems more indepth if you know what I mean...
Now (most of the time lol) I think of what I want to say and then think about how the person I am talking to will take it and then adjust how I need the conversation to go... This poem is fantastic and a treasure I hope others also find knowledge in
A wonderous poem like this really makes one enjoy the simple things. Life is full of them but I think a true poet sees them in a special light and illuminates them in a way others also can enjoy it!!!!
I like this poem It shows talent for keeping the reader involved even if it is from outside in. You have taken a little peice of nature and gave it to us in very descriptive words. You have also depicted a true scene and shared it with us. I thank you!
John
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