|First and foremost I want to apologize: I said I was going to read and review this piece days ago, but the "Real world" grabbed me by the throat and pulled me away. But better late than never, I guess, so here goes....
If I remember right, this is your first submission to Writing.com. I couldn't tell by reading this; it was a beautiful piece. Your description of the ocean, the whales, and the "big moment" were simply spectacular. I was in awe and just as transfixed as Ana and Olaf.
There were just a few minor grammar "issues" that popped up.
“Ana, get those binoculars, the whales are back.” should have a semicolon instead of a comma between "binoculars" and "the."
"... nets dragging in a perfect line held taught by locomotive-like engines..." the only problem here is the word "taught", which I think is spelled "taut."
The boat on course, 105 crewmember below running the processing, storing tons of frozen fish into a hanger sized freezer, nets dragging in a perfect line held taught by locomotive-like engines, the captain and cleaning girl stood together, transfixed by a traveling pod of whales. This sentence is a "run on." I advise you just break it up into two sentences.
I did just want to mention that I loved your descriptions of the whale. My favorite lines were "A bubble rose with her head as she lifted it from the freezing water, every line, ripple and sinew bright and clear, her momentum and the ship's carrying them both to the same spot, two lines crossing at one exact moment in time, her seventy-two feet rising meters from a collision with the solid craft." and (especially) "As any true temptress of the sea she allowed them one long, full look at her sleek body, before breaking from that frozen fragment of time and lunged forward, allowing the two on deck one final gaze as her engine of locomotion, that split tail, flipped high into the air, waved a sultry goodbye, and plunged the performer down into the now dark water, where she refused to make an encore."
As a final note, I wanted to mention that it is really scary to put your work out there for the "world wide web" to read, but you wrote a very good piece that was an enjoyable read. Best of luck in all your future writing endeavors!