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167 Public Reviews Given
167 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow. This is an intriguing exposition. Are you trying to decide whose viewpoint to tell the story from? I do like the way that you give us internal conflict. The imagery is good. You have a satisfying amount of sentence variety. I wish you had described the little creature more.


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In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have done an excellent job of outlining your book. Most folks don't know that outlining the writing cuts down on stress later on. Most just want to jump right in and then have to complete many revisions. I look forward to reading more of your work.


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Review of My Mama  
In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Poems about our parents are a great tribute to them. It shows that we love them. You have brought out some nice images, but I do wish that you had used stronger word choices. The rhyme scheme works fairly well although it seems a bit contrived. Continue writing.


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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read this because it was listed in the public review page. This is unusual because of the lack of punctuation. I will assume that you intentionally wrote in run on sentences. Are the characters Irish? It reminds me of Charlie Six, although I believe that novel took place in London.


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Review of Redemption  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is very exciting yet quite sad. I wasn't expecting that the little girl was blind. The plot is very gothic. Did you say that it was part of a longer piece? I think the scene with the doctor was too predictable. Conlin needs to discover the bizarre truth on his own, not have the doctor just spill his guts. The imagery and word choice are excellent.


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Review of Insisting I  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, I found this poem through the "Read and Review" link. Are these words from your deathbed? The word "bedlam" gives me the impression of chaos or uncertainty. The use of the present participles implies that this is happening now. "All that I know-All that I love" implies (when juxtoposed with the next line) the contrast between love and hate. We all want to go to heaven, but we are in no hurry to get there. I like the format of this poem.
Invalid Photo #1040137


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Review of Leucadia Royal  
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This seems a bit narrative as it tells the story of a vanishing kingdom. I can assume that the queen is greedy and wants everything for her kingdom even though it means everything. This harkens to days of chivalry when men were willing to die for their queens.


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In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is absolutely fantastic. The plot is well developed and focused. The exposition foreshadows the battle in an interesting way. The characters are likeable and well developed. The dialogue carries the plot forward. The action is full of great imagery. I have students who would love to read this.


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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Yes, I am familiar with the song and basic plot. I remember that there was a movie based on the song. It was a long time ago. You must really like the song~or the basic plot idea~to write a fan fiction piece.
One of my favorite songs growing up was "Billy, Don't Be a Hero" by Paper Lace. I still have it on vinyl.
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Oh, I'm exactly the same way...too many books and not enough time. But, I'm an avid reader who usually reads approximately two per week. I'm addicted to books, but have to limit myself to free ones only. Good luck with your challenge. I hope you are victorious.

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for entry "Summer Books" 
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Lovely ideas and thoughts on your second blog. Sometimes we all need a cherished item whether it is "lucky" or not.

Your list of summer reads is impressive. I'm also a Jane Austin fan~there is something about that era that intrigues me.

I hope the rest of your day is blessed.

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for entry "SUMMER READING" 
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
They all seem like fantasy books. Is that your favorite genre? I've never been a big fan of fantasy books although I have read plenty of them. I understand about reading free books~those are the only kinds that I read. My favorite genres are historical fiction and nonfiction (how to and history books). Enjoy your great reads.

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Review of More Snow Melt  
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Good response to the reading list~both texts seem a bit daunting. It's a good idea to put down that we plan on reading each other's writing here on WDC.

I agree; there is no such thing as a "lucky" object. Our perception is what makes the difference.

You stayed on topic on both pieces and they appear to be organized. Did you misspell a word in the first blog? "Word" should be "World," although "word peace" would be a fantastic thing also.

"One of those is faith or positive thinking." I think most of us would agree to that.

There are some word use errors in the second piece and a comma error in the last sentence after the introductory clause.

Overall: Well done!

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for entry "BECAUSE I KNOW" 
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The self of me is the self who...is as I am

Yes, I love this line...we are as we are. There are presumptions or illusions although I believe that many of us would like to lead others to think that we're someone else.

I like it that you chose a poem as your writing genre for this piece.

Well done! *Poseyp*

Melissa

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Review of Brain Drippings  
for entry "Summer is Coming" 
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a fantastic post. I absolutely love the title...my brain drips quite often. The topic is timely...it is the wedding season. You are writing about something very personal, which takes courage. You have made some valid points...are they excuses? This reads very straight forward. Great post.


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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I need to learn to say less. I tend to obfuscate. I also juxtaposed sympathy and empathy. Your idea of a sympathetic poet vs an emphatic poet is spot on. Do you believe that Whitman truly meant that same difference? Why the poem? I have a difficult time putting my poems in my blogs. Nice and succinct, but I feel like I'm missing something.


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Rated: E | (4.5)
You have a great idea and topic for this essay. The organization is fantastic. I really like the way that you divided the sections up with the quotations. The development is thorough. Word choice is excellent. Sentence fluency is good. The essay flows easily. The formatting seems off. You need some spaces or blank lines between paragraphs.


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Review of Comment-In-A-Box  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is very thorough. I am going to mark it to remind me to come back later and look at it. It is a good rubric for reviewing.
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for entry " Quartet." 
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Interesting word choice. I think that your idea is a woman aging. Your development is adequate for the piece. The four stanza verse is appropriate for the topic. I enjoy the image of the passing seasons. I think your language could be more vivid. Overall...well done.


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45
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Is this a break up poem? I'm not sure about your topic as the middle of the poem seems to be militant. I got an image of Black Panthers from the sixties. It reads like free verse. There is some good imagery. The first few lines are fantastic, but you seemed to stray from that idea. Good word choice throughout.


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Review of A Painful Memory  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Wow. You really came out with that one. I thought the story was about the doctor. I love your description of the doctor...the greasy meat smell.

The idea is narrow and focused. I like the way that you started with going to visit the doctor, but it seemed rushed. You got into the conflict with no rising action. The imagery is good. Perhaps it could be told in a dream sequence. Word choice is good as is sentence fluency.

I think with some revisions, you could have a workable piece.


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Review of But Which One?  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This has such great imagery...especially the metaphor where you say you are a gopher. I think most of us can understand your maid idea in this poem--well, most women can. I work with mostily women, but I still feel tired around them.
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What can you improve? Perhaps if you changed the rhyme scheme (I don't think that you have one) to a sonnet, it might play off of the traditional format vs. modern theme.
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My takeaway? You've got a great poem with a great idea and development.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Is this a tribute or response to Memorial Day? I feel that you write of battle or wraths of nations. The repetition works well as does the allusions to Norse gods. Perhaps you write of your own wrath or revenge? Writing one's name on a crown of thorns sounds like salvation.


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Review of Writing.Com 101  
for entry "Image" 
Rated: E | (5.0)
I still have so much to learn about using graphics.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Is there a place where I can read about cNotes? I am still learning my way around and need to figure some things out.
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