Hi, Seuzz

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is interesting, the given impression is really in sci-fi, it gives me imagery about people living in the future-literally and people inside of themselves only metaphorically.
The first paragraph or the beginning of the story somehow gives me an impression that this is created in an article style in storytelling, because the author is conversing its reader on the beginning stating and maybe introducing the character in an "article" style, the next paragraph and others were started already in introducing the main character that already part in the story which made me -your reader to concentrate and trying to know the main character.
The story is good, it shows what happens but it was delivered into two impression- literal and metaphorical, I may understand the literal, but maybe didn't catch up the metaphorical, this is where its hard on my part being an ESL (English Second Language), so through adjusting the range of understanding to your readers may cause to be for everybody- any level of your readers.
The ending part shows again the article style in storytelling, which really left me-your reader thinking.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've stated, I didn't find any words or no other doubts arise that distract the flow of the story. Good job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Graham Muad'dib

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

I can say that the story is somehow a mystery sci-fi, you did well in choosing the theme and its link in the given prompt. The way how the story flow is fine and there is a dramatic appeal on how the characters were showed and introduced. The only issue that I have is the range of understanding that you used to your audience, being an ESL (English Second Language) through words that were used by the author, they have the ability to filter their audience understanding, and as I read this piece of yours, there are words that literally I understood but metaphorically I might not catch it.
But, overall the story is fine and well.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've stated, I didn't find any other words or doubts that may distract the flow of the story . Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, PureSciFi

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is interesting, my first impression is like it's not linked in the given prompt, but when I begin reading it, I've discovered that its pure sci-fi.
The story is good and has the mystery which draws me, the reader to continue reading and follow the story.
You did well also in introducing the characters, there is a smooth way in introducing it until I crave to know more about them especially Konnica, and find out at the tragic ending happened to her which gives an impact.
Overall the story is good and well. Good Job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I didn't find any words that distract the flow and no doubt arise. Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Words Whirling 'Round

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is interesting, my first impression is a kind of monologue using the word self and it was really like a monologue because you used the format of being in the first person point of view.
And you did well in expressing and introducing your character to the audience, using the first person point of view free to express its thought and emotion.
Using also the mystery note which hooks your reader to find more about it and continue its reading until the end.
Words weaved are fine and the story has a smooth flow.
The only issue that I have is the impact, I can't find an impact or I said the climax.
Overall the story is fine. Good job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've said, I can't find any other words and doubt that may distract the flow of the story. Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Paul

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is an expression or in other words, there is an emotion within to hook any reader, though it didn't relate to the given prompt, its still interesting.
I can say that the story is good and you did fine on it, my only issue is I wonder why at the beginning why the intro rate is for everyone, it should be Non-E because there are some words that the writer used here is not fine to be for everyone, I don't know if its intended but for me it doesn't give an appeal to the story, there are also some line that it didn't have a relationship in the story, other than the range of level of understanding that was used was filtered.
Overall the story might be good if those things that I've stated will be improved.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've stated, there are no other things that may distract the flow of the story.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, THANKFUL SONALI 17 WDC YEARS!

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The first impression that I thought while seeing the given title is I am expecting that maybe this story is full of dramas and sentiments because of the word goodbye, not knowing that Tivity is a planet. Well you interest me on that, and hooked me too. I liked the story, the flow is good and smooth, and the first thing that I mostly liked is the way how you didn't filter the range of understanding to your readers in any level so I can say that this is for everybody in any level. The way how you introduced your characters are simple but very understandable. The ides or topic is simple but it's fine and I enjoyed reading it. Good job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I didn't find any words that distract the flow of the story and no doubt arise. Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Christopher Roy Denton

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is simple but interesting because of the word solution, it gave powerful imagery and description.
The flow of the story is good and I can say it has a smooth flow and I also find a drama on what happens. You did well in introducing your character at the beginning using narrative storytelling that shows. The chosen plot is good also, you did well in hooking me and become curious about what happened to Jack's daughter so I follow the story if the said solution would be effective, and I didn't expect that on the last part there is a twist which gives an impact.
The only doubt that I have is the way how transparency goes in your viewer, in other words, the range of level of understanding that you chose, using some word that is not easy to understand may filter the level of understanding by the audience especially in its metaphorical view of writings.
But, overall the story is good and well. Good Job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've said, I didn't find any other words that may distract the flow of the story and no other doubt arise. Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is simple, it gave me first an impression that the story would be a monster cube. I can say that the story has a smooth flow and it really hooks me started at the beginning and until the end. A nice plot that you had chosen, I really followed what happened and what will be happened to the cubes.
You didn't concentrate more on the characters, right? but you've concentrated more on the movement in the story, the things that happen simultaneously and I followed it until the end.
My only issue is the way how the range of the level of understanding to your audience.
There are some statement or words that filters my understanding, especially in the metaphorical aspects that distract when I read.
But overall the story is good and well. Good Job!


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've said, I didn't find any words that may distract the flow and no other doubt arise.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Angelica- House Florent B & W

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E) Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes! #1803133 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views as a reader, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title is interesting because it gives birth to a new planet- Planet Xion, it hooks me to find more about that planet.
The story flows well and smooth, you did well in giving a unique image to this planet and it's quite clear. The way how you introduced your character is fine also, and you concentrate more on the story settings.
My only issue is the transparency of words you used to your audience or reader that was used in the story, or in other words that level of understanding to your audience or reader in any level that being filtered through words that were being used especially in the metaphorical, other than that there are no any other doubts and words that may distract. Overall the story is good. Good Job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
Other than what I've said there are no other words or doubts arise. Good Job!

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Writer_Mike

Greetings! I'm your WdC friend Samberine Everose
and I'm here to give you a review as one of the goodies in the Teddy Bear Gift Basket 5 that I donated in the Ice Cream Social of Pat.
Congratulations on winning my package.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others perspective and opinions also. Take it if you like and drop if you don't like.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

Below are the elements of a short story that I reflected most while reading this piece of yours. Please pick if you like and just disregard it if you don't like. I hope you will find my humble review to be useful to you and will encourage you to write more.

TITLE:

The given title reminds me about a hero, using the word rescue, a hero's job or characteristic is will always rescue.

CHARACTERS:
There are only a few characters in the story, but you did well in handling each their personality, in the way they move and talk as well as they perceive. The grandma often shares wisdom with his grandson, and though Jimmy was still a very playful kid, he respects and listens well to his grandma.

SETTING:
You did not emphasize more about the setting here, but mentioning more about the subject, and the story that included in the story, it reminds me spring or summer. This is where beautiful stories were being good to be heard.

CLIMAX:
The climax is in the part where Jimmy left and the grandma has a friend fairy. That really surprised me too.

DIALOGUE:
The dialogue is just fine and its quantity too to make the story to be alive and moving. It's like watching a scene in the television.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words that distract the fine flow of the story and no doubt arise.


Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of yours about fairies.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!