This review for Today is being brought to you on behalf of the WDCFrontliners Group.
As people, we all have dealt with death in one way or another, it's part of life. I read this piece and was emotionally drawn back to the passing of my father, another soul lost to that dreaded 'C' word not long ago.
You seemed to have lost touch with your brother for awhile and what an awful time to learn he was sick. I hope you remember fondly the good times. I appreciate your bravery in sharing your pain and sorrow with our community. I do not know if it helped you through the grieving process to write this, but I hope it did.
Hi! I'm reviewing your work entitled Mon Mari on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or please just enjoy my thoughts.
First Impression: Taken from cold and lonely to the bright sun, comforted by your soul mate.
Artistry/Creativity: This piece is filled with imagery, as the prompt for this poem called for. The way you word your painful self, in pieces, scattered in the cold gives us the image of how bad your life was. Your turn around is obvious because the poem becomes happy, comfortable and positive, with words of color, warmth of spring and love.
Content: A damaging past is slowly and wholly healed by the true found love of your better half.
My favorite part: Your Love
carried on lavender-scented air
with a hint of wild thyme and the sea
was the magnet that drew me,
all my fragments,
To You
Technicals: No errors noted. Even flow between stanzas. Awesome example of the prompt provided.
This review is being brought to you on behalf of the WDCFrontliners group. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or please just enjoy my thoughts.
In such a very short piece of a few sentences, you do get your point across. If taking stories of a departed loved one to cherish forever and to possibly bring to print one day isn't enough to motivate one to write, I do not know what is.
If this is true, I hope you do cherish those stories forever and to be sure to pass them on.
This review is being brought to you on behalf of the WDCFrontliners group. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or please just enjoy my thoughts.
Very quaint piece of nostalgia. I like how you tied in the generations of storytelling, describing what times were like for all three. Brings back memories to my own childhood and listening to my great-mommy and nana bickering back and forth on who had the 'hadest' life and then laughing at the end of all the things that have changed.
I found no errors and there is even flow between stanzas.
Not only did I award this piece in particular from your so many others on behalf of your July Frontliner of the Month win, but I truly enjoyed this piece very much. You followed the contest prompts to a 'T' and in such a short work, you aptly covered what homeless means. It portrays a man wandering the streets, feeling rich with his meal of soup and I can see he is a proud man. He is not sure how life turned him to the streets, but he still dreams of better things to come. Life goes on for him, but it is a tough one at that.
Hi! I'm reviewing your work entitled Eternally Yours on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or please just enjoy my thoughts.
First Impression: Destiny or fate, it matters none; everlasting love was brought together because the time was right.
Artistry/Creativity: This poem is very emotional, heartfelt and a beautiful dedication to a loved one.
Content: This piece easily relays the deep love shared between two people. Though poetry, it vividly tells the story of meeting, growing and becoming the couple you are today. It doesn't close the door, but leaves us wondering how much will be shared between the two of you.
My favorite part: The call it came sudden,
as if lying in wait,
suspended in Time,
searching for Fate.
*I love the connection of time and fate in this stanza.
Technicals: Good rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted.
Hi! I'm reviewing your work entitled Walking away: Her Story on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at the very least, enjoy my thoughts as a reader.
First Impression: Another one of the many tragedies of war. From a loved one's point of view, we feel her anguish as she watches her husband leave to his call of duty.
Artistry/Originality: Throughout this piece I feel the torment of a wife trying to maintain control of her emotions as she watches her husband walk away, perhaps for the last time. Imagery in a piece such is this is truly necessary to convey the feelings of the character and you truly obtain this.
Content: Your chosen words and phrases of imagery are strong; violent twisting, intoxicating, soul screamed in fury and disbelief, limbs reviving, detachedly. I want to cry with her, I want scream for him not to go, I want to hug her through her despair! .
My favorite part: I was standing on the field, watching my life walk away from me. That … that is the only thing I knew at this moment. Each step he took was another violent twist around my heart. This sets the pace of the story. It tells us of the pain to come and the tears to be shed.
Technicals: No corrections are needed for this piece.
Overall: Great job on this piece.
Note to all readers: If you take time to read this short story, please be sure to take the link at the bottom of the page to read the husband's point of view. Both shorts are worthy of being read, back to back! "Walk Away ... His Story"
Hi! I'm reviewing your work entitled Walk Away ... His Story on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at the very least, enjoy my thoughts as a reader.
First Impression: One of the many tragedies of war. From the soldier's perspective, we feel his call to duty yet the guilt of leaving his wife behind.
Artistry/Originality: Though this piece reflects on feelings humanity has had to deal with since our very first war involvement, your writing clearly shows the tug of emotions felt by a husband going off to war. Your mixture of descriptive narrative and his inner voice clearly makes this a touching write.
Content: You aptly describe the pull of how he feels leaving and how he thinks she is feeling; how he tells himself to suck it up and how proud he is of her for her strength. I teared up, imagining how I would be the one to crumble the minute my husband was lost from view on the bus.
My favorite part: Just one more look. I couldn’t help it. In that one moment I was so proud. I love the whole piece however the need to steal a last glance at his beloved before shipping out just tore at my heart! He was probably prepared to see a blubbering fool, instead she shows the courage he needs to continue.
Technicals: No corrections are needed for this piece.
Overall: Great job on this piece.
Note to all readers: If you take time to read this short story, please be sure to take the link at the bottom of the page to read the wife's point of view. Both shorts are worthy of being read, back to back! "Walking away: Her Story"
Hi! I m reviewing your work entitled Dark Delight on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or please just enjoy my thoughts.
First Impression: One of my favorite times of the day and what better a way to spend it. A delicious treat to start the day.
Artistry/Creativity: This poem stands out to me due to the sight and touch you have created. It makes me feel as I am one of the characters.
Content: This piece is full of imagery, feeling and yes, ecstasy. It remains thoroughly sensual with tasteful words. I can see the shaded light and feel the caress of lovers hands. The touch of lips; the stroke of a tongue. I await on the consuming passion that will eventually overtake them.
My favorite part: Only the sensations of passion now exist.
Hands urge me forward and I can’t resist.
Technicals: No errors noted. Your rhyme scheme is flawless. This is a very smooth, flowing poem through each stanza.
Hi! I m reviewing your work entitled Getting on with My Day on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. I will be relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reader point of view.
First Impression: Heartbreaking and bittersweet! As a mother, I cried reading how you need to come to terms with losing a child in order to go on, and day by day I know it must hurt. As a first cousin of a Down's Syndrome child I can relate to how that child affects your life. Yes, there are struggles but the love they have is so immense it is indescribable to an outsider. I commend you for keeping her, giving her a loving home and my heart goes out to you for your loss. Keep her memories close to your heart!
Technicals: No typographical errors noted.
My favorite part is: I had to grieve for the loss of that child and then get on to the business of raising my Lora Lee. Of course she would not be placed in an institution. She was going home with me.
Overall: Great job on this piece. Thank you for sharing this with the WDC community.
Hi! I m reviewing your work entitled Bittersweet Rosebuds on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. I will be relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reader point of view.
First Impression: Very nice acrostic. Though you don't go into color detail, your words allow the reader to see them in their mind. The sweet smells of a bouquet are truly sensed in this piece.
Technicals: I have only one issue with this piece; Enviting to everyone. Normally I do not point out certain spelling errors considering the different cultures that write on this site. I have seen many words in the US spelled differently in the UK for example, however since you needed an 'E' for this line, a good choice would have been enticing. Enviting is normally inviting.
Hi! I m reviewing your work entitled Tell Not A Soul on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. I will be relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reader point of view.
First Impression: Heartbreaking piece but beautifully presented. You draw the reader easily in with your chosen words and expression. I feel the pain of the writer, the secret suffering.
Technicals: Even flow between stanzas. No typographical errors noted.
My favorite part is: A smile appearing upon your face
with just the mention of the name,
wondering could they really know?
although you won't tell a soul.
Hi! I m reviewing your work entitled Here Again We'll Never Meet on behalf of Packages Soaring Your Way. I will be relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reader point of view.
First Impression: Short and sweet piece. Romantic yet sad at the same time.
Technicals: Great rhyme and even flow between stanzas. No typographical errors noted.
My favorite part is: In a bed of leaves we whispered love;
A gentle breeze cooling and sweet.
Hi! I have just read your poem Why Am I A Nurse. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: Kudos for this piece! Working in the medical fields, I see so often how hard a nurses job can be and I often wondered do they really know how appreciated they are? After your years in the field I am sure you have seen all the sides to nursing, good and bad and it's good to see someone as dedicated as yourself about the true calling of your job, the patient! Coming from someone who has been on both sides of the hospital bed, I thank you for your years of care.
Suggestions: Good rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Hi! I have just read your poem Calling Me. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: Very nice piece, short and to the point with nice imagery. Home at last it says to me.
Suggestions: Great rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Hi! I have just read your short story Just One Chance. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Initial Thoughts:
Wow! As an advocate for people with disabilities, I applaud you! Anyone who has ever felt ridiculed for something they can't help and knows how it feels when your name is never called for team A or B, all deserve a chance just like Todd.
Spelling/Typos/Technicals:
None noted. (There is an additional space between 3rd and 4th sentence from the bottom)
Suggestions:
None needed. This piece speaks for itself just as it is!
Overall Impression:
Awesome job!!
Thank you for sharing this with the WDC Community.
Hi! I have just read your short story Why I like Martial Arts. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Initial Thoughts:
Informative information was provided to let the reader know how martial arts can make a person better. You stayed on track, kept the reader interested and didn't lose me.
Spelling/Typos/Technicals:
No errors noted in punctuation or spelling however, I as a reader lose interest when words are repeated and repeated. I know this essay explores empowerment, however a form of this word was used too frequently. Twice is okay, first to introduce it then another to stress it. I would choose similar meaning words if you need to repeat and emphasize the one word whenever possible.
Suggestions:
Other than above, none others needed.
Overall Impression:
Nice job!
Thank you for sharing this with the WDC Community.
Hi! I have just read your poem Light. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: Very colorful and inspirational. Finding that guiding light, using it to move on and leaving it til the next time.
Suggestions: I think the flow between stanzas would be a little smoother if you included punctuation. No true errors noted
Hi! I have just read your poem Halloween. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Suggestions: None needed. Good rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Overall Impressions: Great acrostic! Awesome Job!!
Hi! I have just read your poem What to Write. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: I need to have this piece dedicated to my muse! The rest of the world around us can dance the dance and here we sit, staring at a computer screen...waiting.
Suggestions: Good rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Hi! I have just read your poem Peace be with You. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Miss Nicki, you have outdone yourself! The shop is awesome. Easy to navigate, colorful and appealing to the eye! You have done an awesome job at setting this up. May your orders overflow...and not just from me!! hehehe
All the best,
~Eyz
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Hi! I have just read your poem Figure it Out. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: Poetry? Why not, free verse is after all, free! It all creates the ending word anyway doesn't it?
Hi! I have just read your poem Craigslist Personals. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: Firstly, I am still chuckling over this piece, not at you mind you, but with you! Something similar happened to a friend of mine, who swore off the internet and told me never to give it a try. However fortunate, I am still married to that internet soul, now 10 years!! (It works for some). Secondly, no condemning here, and who would want to? It gave you one heck of a funny poem!!!
Suggestions: Great rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Hi! I have just read your poem Proserpina. I re-read some pieces a couple of times, relaying what stood out to me, and my overall general opinion. It is just that, an opinion. Hopefully reviews such as this can help further hone your writing skills or at least you can enjoy my thoughts from a reading point of view.
Impression: You did a very good job in imagery of describing two lovers who will never be. After reading the piece, it became quite clear why you chose to say it was a bit dark..but it brought definition to the poem.
Suggestions: Good rhyme and flow between stanzas. No errors noted
Overall: Great Job!!
Keep writing & posting!
~Eyz
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