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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fireexi
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2 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Goodbye My Love  
Review by Fireexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sadly, that seems to be the norm in today's world...
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Review of Angela Torrenso  
Review by Fireexi
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
To me the story had a bittersweet ending, as you may have intended. Excellent use of building the character of the Angela and of Pedro. The main critique I have with it involves the beginning when you are telling us about Angela. The issue is that you told instead of showed. I think if you go back and incorportate what you tell us about Angela in a narrative then the story will be even better than it is. It is an excellent story showing how Angela came to her decision and some major factors that went into the decision (ie. Pedro's mental and sometimes physical abuse of her). We all hear the droning of 'show don't tell' throughout our career and I believe that is one of the toughest parts of writing. After you told us about Angela you did a superb job of showing us her story! Great job and keep up the good work!
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