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1
1
Rated: E | (5.0)
Yay! So glad you won...it's a wonderfully awesome image! *Gold* *Shamrock* *Heart*
2
2
Review of No One Noticed  
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "No One Noticed.

First Impression: Hi Maci! I'm reviewing this because I came across it while judging for the "Love Shouldn't Hurt Poetry Contest, and I noticed a few things I wanted to point out in order to help...I hope you don't mind. Please note that I understand this is a very personal and painful topic, and this isn't meant to judge your experience in any way whatsoever...this review is strictly based on the writing itself and not the content.

What I Really Liked: You kept a really good, loose rhythm throughout the poem. Even though it's a simple set of quatrains in an AABB scheme, you'd be surprised at how hard it can be sometimes to do this, given the length of your lines.

Spelling And Grammar: I didn't notice any major spelling errors, but there were a few instances where you capitalized words that didn't need them...for instance, "Mother" doesn't need it because technically it's not a proper noun here. Same with "Bruises" in your opening line, along with "Mom's" and "Dad". Conversely, in your last verse, it's my opinion that "Sunday school" is a proper noun, so both words should be capitalized (although the rule is a bit cloudy on that and I could be wrong). As for grammar, I'll use my Suggestions section to point out some instances specifically where you may not need a comma, or where a change in punctuation may enhance your poem's flow while also making it a cleaner read.

Suggestions: Fist, your poem is 28 lots; not the 24 you have stated! But that's an easy fix *Wink*. Again, please keep in mind these are just my opinions, and you're free to do what you want with them (or nothing at all)...ok, here we go:

Stanza 2- Last line, "me and on my Mothers'"...the apostrophe should be moved over, and the wodring sounds a little clunky. I'd consider "You can see it on mine and my Mother's faces."

Stanza 3- "can not" in the first line should be one word. In line 3, remove "are" and take out the period; in line 4 use a lowercase "a" in "aren't" and remove the comma after "face". That makes lines 3/4 one smoother, longer sentence.

Stanza 4- In line 2 I think you're ok with inserting a comma after "up", initiating a slight pause between an action and a reason. I'd consider starting line 3 with "As" and replacing the period at the end of the line with a comma, again joining it in a sentence with line 4...make "My" lowercase and use "had" instead of "and". Again, a smoother, cleaner look and read while maintaining the flow.

Stanza 5- The first two lines seem a little jagged in their flow. There are a couple ways you could go with it; one suggestion would be to take out the first period in line 1 and use a semicolon instead (or skip the punctuation altogether and use "and" instead)...remove the period at the end of the line, and in line two use a lowercase "b" in "Because". In line 3 use a semicolon again instead of the period and make both sentences into one. And in line 4 I'd consider swapping the order of "speak" and "cry", because in my opinion crying is more dramatic and speaking is less subtle; if you're using "even" as an effect the emotional balance would be evened out and corrected there.

Stanza 6- I think you want to use the past tense of "use" in line 1, which would be "used" (that's a common error because the "t" sound can make the phrase "used to" sound like one word) Then, you can combine lines 1 and 2 again into one sentence by removing the period, or leave them separate (either one works)...but the comma in line 2 isn't necessary.

Final Thoughts: Suggestions/corrections aside, I do think you have a heartfelt, emotional piece that can render readers sympathetic to the child at the heart of this poem. And again, I know this is a difficult topic to write about on many levels, and often harder to judge in a contest and/or review...I do appreciate you taking the time and effort to write this piece and enter it in Love Shouldn't Hurt.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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3
3
Review of Dear Ingrid  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Dear Ingrid.

First Impression: Hey Minja! I'm here because I'm taking part in "Invalid Item, and I saw this in "Invalid Item...and I specifically chose your item because I'm familiar with your work and admire the sincerity that often shines through in it. This poem is no exception.

What I Really Liked: I love how you were able to open up to this woman, who only a few days before was a complete stranger and just another guest on your cruise ship- another customer at the job. I've done a lot of customer service work in my life, and I know how easy it can be sometimes to bond with certain customers; for me it's the ones who came in every day and were pleasant and nice and ya always looked forward to seeing them and catching up with them. Ingrid overcame something remarkable and chose to share that with you; in that you were able to turn around and share this letter to her with us...that speaks volumes about the impact she had on you, and you've related that to us very lovingly.

Spelling And Grammar: I didn't note any spelling errors, but I did catch a few tiny, fixable grammar issues. In the fourth line (for these purposes I'm not counting "Dear Ingrid," as line 1; I'm starting at what would be the body of the letter itself, if that's ok), I think I'd add an "s" to "shape"; I think that's the best fit for that line. In the fifth line, I'd stick an "a" in between "than" and "few". In line 13, eliminate that first comma and end the line itself with a semicolon (I know semicolons are tricky for a lot of people; in this instance it's more of a suggestion that I would do, so feel free to ignore it if you want *Laugh*). In your first popnote, I think "spring" should be plural...you're using it like an action verb.

Suggestions: Keep in mind Minj that these are just ideas and not meant to be criticisms in any way...I totally understand you're ESL and that doesn't factor at all into how I've read and reviewed this, and these suggestions only reflect how I'd read it in English (I hope you don't mind me doing that). Line 11 sounds a bit cluttered when said aloud; the commas don't really work there. I'd consider something like "and that your journey, paved by thorns,"...that sounds a bit smoother and cleaner. Line 14 also sounds like it's missing something, but I'm having a little bit of difficulty trying to figure out what might work best there. Maybe eliminate "in"? Or stick a "the" in before "beauty"? I guess it'd depend on what you thought would be best in that situation. Finally, I think I'd use "significance" instead of "signification"...not sure that what you had was the right form of the word there.

Final Thoughts: A really thoughtful, touching item...like I alluded to earlier, I can definitely relate to and appreciate the circumstances in which you met Ingrid, and it's sweet that you were able to have this meaningful time with her. Not only does your poem reflect that, but it also shines a light on your caring nature. Sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed by a lot of the negativity we see in the world, but reading this brought a warm smile to my face...thank you so much for writing this *Heart*.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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4
4
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is ""Oh, Really, Joey, you can't say that!", as part of the package you won in "The Four Seasons Auction...please, at your earliest convenience, get back to me with the Merit Badge (30DBC Winner or Blog Camping) that you'd like. If I don't hear back within a couple of days or so, I'll pick one and send it out.

First Impression: Hey Joey! Nice to see you back around WDC a little more! Hope all is well *Smile*. As you probably know I read a lot of blogs each month because of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge, but I also try to make a little time for interesting blogs I happen to catch on the newsfeed from time to time, and yours is one of them. Your entries are witty and often packed with a combination of personal anecdotes, humor, and a wealth of information, all served up in a conversational tone that readers can really dig into and hopefully appreciate.

What I Really Liked: Variety! You take prompts from various sources, which shows off your versatility and knowledge. You're not afraid to take on any topic, and you approach it with well-thought out responses without attacking or accusing anyone. You make excellent use of WritingML, and the relevant pictures, videos, and links add flavor to the already well-seasoned and marinated explanations and rationales you cook up.

Spelling And Grammar: I don't normally pay too much attention to this when I'm reviewing blogs (unless it's obvious and/or atrocious) but man, I couldn't get past the title! You're missing a closing quotation mark! Other than that, I really didn't notice too much other than an occasional capitalized word that didn't need it, or a random typo...not a big deal because as you put it in "The Old Question, be hard, "Blogs are known for their all too casual writing...".

Suggestions: Another category I'm hesitant to judge too precisely when I'm reviewing blogs...because there's no one set formula or criteria, and everyone's different. Blogging is a loose representation of the author, in my opinion, and who am I to tell anyone what or how to write? That said, if I were forced to make one suggestion to you, it'd be MORE!! WDC needs more Joey C.! I understand it's not easy for everyone to constantly churn out blog entries on anything and everything whenever the mood strikes, and you know there's a bunch of different blogging groups that offer daily and weekly prompts...you've got a distinct voice coming through in your entries, your tone is "casual but informed conversation", and that's a combination frankly I don't think there's enough of around WDC.

Final Thoughts: Very much a pleasure to dig in and remind myself that your blog should be destination reading for wide and varied audience. Keep doing what you do...it seems like you're the kind of person who enjoys it, and I hope that others do as well.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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5
5
Review of Stars  
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Invalid Item.

First Impression: Thanks for taking part in "Write From the Heart Story Contest Jamie, and I hope you're enjoying your WDC experience so far! A quick peek at your bio here tells me English is your second language...I never would've guessed that after reading this piece; it's my native language, I've been speaking it for over 40 years, and this reads much better than what I would've put together *Laugh*.

What I Really Liked: You've got two characters here that I could easily visualize, and I'd argue that you've included a third, secondary (yet well-defined) character in the sky/stars. The "she" seems very likable and almost easy to fall in love with based on how you wrote her, while the narrator is kind of a prick and is fairly easy to be annoyed at, if I'm being honest and judging your character's, ummm, character *Wink*. "She" also has a little bit of sass to her, as noted by this segment of the story: "...settling her eyes on me. 'Even if something lacks, it can still be perfect to me.'" That it goes unnoticed by the narrator, who is too busy searching for his/her own way of kind of "owning" the narrative of the conversation, also works to define the narrator a bit as well...he/she doesn't acknowledge in this instance her wit (although he does claim that later on in the story).

Spelling And Grammar: One line really stood out to me that raised any concern: "We’d watch TV, her favourite shows are always quite nerve wreaking." First, I'd separate the two parts of the sentence with a semicolon rather than a comma. Second, "wreaking" isn't quite the right choice of spelling (or word) in that situation, according to the Dictionary.com definition of "nerve-wracking"  . Other than that, I really didn't notice anything that stood out.

Suggestions: Two things that aren't really suggestions so much as things I wanna point out: 1) I don't know if the dialogue section really needs to be in italics, or if it serves the story at all. I don't really think it's necessary. 2) I don't know the actual rules and/or reasoning regarding the use of ellipses (...), but I know how I use them and how I read them, which could be why the way you've used them here throws me off. There doesn't (in my opinion) need to be a space after them. Another example: in a sentence like this one, "...based on things we disagree on… But loved ones?", I'd consider skipping the space and making the B in "But" lower-case so it flows as one complete sentence. Just my thoughts though.

Final Thoughts: An engaging and interesting read! I enjoyed your characters and could appreciate the kind of relationship they have with one another. Thanks for entering WFTH and good luck this round...also, as a WDC Newbie, if you ever have any questions about anything, please don't hesitate to ask! *Smile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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6
6
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "The Tale of Arnison Wake.

First Impression: Hello there, Danial Francis ! I'm reviewing this item today as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge, and I see you've entered it in "Supernatural Writing Contest (I'll just remind you really quick that in that particular contest you may edit your pieces after submitting them, up until the deadline...in case that's something you want to do)...it's nice to see poems entered in contests like this! I've been sort of looking at the different horror/supernatural contests around WDC in the last week or so, and most seem to prefer short stories. People like me with short attention spans prefer poetry, in my opinion *Laugh*.

What I Really Liked: This has an old-time feel to it; it's hard to explain. It reads like a well-read classic from hundreds of years ago, like it was written on a wooden table by candlelight and delivered to a publisher on horseback *Laugh*. I love the total story, the revenge, the way it's written...everything, to be honest. I'm curious though about one thing...I tend to write a lot of poetry- mostly free verse, so I don't know my forms all that well- did you use a certain form when writing this? If you did, it might be helpful to state that in your description, at the end of the item in the body, or even with your forum post when entering.

Spelling And Grammar: Ok, here's where I get a little weird, because maybe this is a personal preference of mine and not some hard and fast rule of poetry...the use of punctuation. Here's how I feel about it: if you're gonna use it, use it all the way through, consistently...or, don't use it at all. In your item, you use commas but no periods. The first word in each stanza is capitalized, but nothing else is. The beginning of each line doesn't need to be capitalized, but if it's the start of a new thought (basically, a new sentence), it might make sense to capitalize a word. That's probably my only beef with this...when I read it, I sometimes get lost because it doesn't read in sentences consistently...it's a mix of sentences and fragments...and fragments are fine if they're all fragments, but that would then mess up your "five lines to a stanza" flow. Know what I mean? Man, I hope that made sense...I know in my head what I'm trying to say but I don't know how well I can explain it *Laugh*.

Suggestions: Your rating...I'm not sure a beheading qualifies for an "E for Everyone" rating. I might bump it up just a bit to ASR, or maybe even 13+. Sometimes it's better to rate on the safer side, just in case (although to be fair, I rate my own stuff mostly 18+ and GC even though it isn't always, and I probably should go over the WDC Ratings Guide again just to brush up on the reasonings for each rating). I guess that, and the sentence/periods thing, those would be my only suggestions.

Final Thoughts: Wow, what an excellent read! I feel like this could easily be adapted into some kind of historical cartoon we watch in English class after studying this and the story behind the two characters...sort of like an Ichabod Crane/Sleepy Hollow thing *Bigsmile*. I definitely enjoyed reading this, and good luck in the Supernatural Writing Contest this month!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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7
7
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Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Taking out the trash.

First Impression: Hi there, Wicked.Threat ...I'm reviewing this as part of "a very Wodehouse challenge, and because we're both taking part in "SCREAMS!!! this month. Please know that I don't normally read or write the kind of stories that show up in a contest like SCREAMS, so maybe take my review with a grain of salt. That said, I love a short little piece that cuts out the drama, the build-up, and the unnecessary information...just give me what I need to know, without theatrics. I definitely appreciate that here.

What I Really Liked: I love this attitude this conveys! That "I don't give a fuck" swagger! Tell it like it is. Hold nothing back. Pull no punches. Like you know she's got it comin' and you don't care how she gets it, as long as she gets it. She tries hard to be whatever she is, and it shows, but you're not afraid to call her out and let everyone know she's trash. That's what I'm feelin' from this, and its honesty and openness is refreshing.

Spelling And Grammar: There are a couple typos here and there...mostly some errant commas, along with the missing apostrophe in the last sentence. The last part of the first sentence, starting with "dyes"...that reads a little funny to me for some reason, like something's off about it but I'm not sure what. And in the third part, the second sentence: "Pictures and every day." That doesn't make sense (I'm sorry to be so blunt about it).

Suggestions: I would probably change "scared little, drama seeking bitch" in the second part to "scared little drama-seeking bitch" (eliminating the comma and adding the hyphen)...I didn't read it with that pause in there. And I'd take out the commas in the first sentence of the second part and after the "But" in the last sentence of the last part. Also, because of the multiple instances of the word "fuck", along with the mentions of "junkie", "morphine" and STDs, I'd probably bump the rating up from 18+ to GC, just to be on the safe side.

Final Thoughts: Like I said, I enjoyed the attitude of this piece! I hope you don't mind me taking a few minutes tor eview it and make a couple suggestions, and good luck in SCREAMS!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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8
8
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Walking Through the Woods on a Misty Day.

First Impression: Hey WW! Sorry for the delay in getting out your "The 30DBC Mega-Raffle Extravaganza! package, but here it is...I have to admit, most of the time I come across your writing via the Comedy Newsletter, and I always enjoy your stories and getting a good chuckle from them. When deciding on what to review, I was tempted to just look for something along those lines, but then I saw this piece and noticed it wasn't awarded for anything. I checked it out and I'm glad I did, as it showed me a slightly different side of you than I'm accustomed to.

What I Really Liked: I'm not sure why, but I love the imagery in the last sentence of the opening paragraph. I had top read it a few times to really get what it was saying and how it played around in my head verbally, but it stuck with me. I also could appreciate the conflict between not wanting to disturb nature but also wanting to preserve the specific moment, and how it isn't easy to describe what it feels like. That to me was something you did well throughout the body of the column, and it's a theme that will stay with me as much as (if not longer than) the idea of the dragonfly being a messenger and how that resonated with you.

Spelling And Grammar: Everything here seems fine except for the third word in the entire piece: you capitalized "walking", which does not need it (unless there's some kind of hidden context for it, which is unexplained). Other than that one little typo, everything else checks out.

Suggestions: Honestly, I'm not sure what suggestions I could possibly make that would be helpful...it's a piece built on personal reflection and it has an engaging feel and message. It's written in your voice, meaning I feel like you're telling me this as I'm reading it. That's something I enjoy when I read other people's works...I don't want it to sound like generic copy; I prefer a more personable feel. This has that.

Final Thoughts: What a nice read! I'm surprised that this hasn't been awarded anything, given that your port has Awardicons on practically everything *Laugh*. I'm glad I dug around and found this...and thank you so much for your support of "The 30DBC Mega-Raffle Extravaganza!! *Bigsmile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

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9
9
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Funny Stuff.

First Impression: What's up Jade? Here's your review as part of your winning package in "The Four Seasons Auction. You're practically a veteran of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge now, and I'm actually surprised I haven't reviewed your Jlog yet, given how many times I've been in it. It's always a fun little read, and I mean that in the best way possible...seems like I always come across one of your entries after I've read a long, drawn-out piece, or a downer of a subject, or just something that bums me out. Your entries sorta bounce in, and even when the topic is something you're not familiar with or lends itself more easily to something decidedly un-fun, you tend to brighten things up. It's a quality I really appreciate.

What I Really Liked: You're game for pretty much anything...any topic, subject, story, emotion. At least it seems like it. You don't shy away, and if you're not totally familiar with the prompt you at least make a solid effort to come up with something that isn't just a lame "I don't know what I'm talking about" excuse. And even when your responses are short, they're thoughtful...you don't know how annoying it is when someone answers a prompt with a couple of sentences that make it sound like they're just blowing things off to get it over with, like they're answering a question on a history exam. I'd rather read three sentences of thoughtful humor than three paragraphs that basically can be boiled down to a yes or no answer.

Spelling And Grammar: I tend to read blogs as if the author is having a conversation with me and explaining their feelings on the prompt as sort of a soliloquy or monologue...so I usually go easy on the grammar and spelling because you never really know the person's dialect until to actually hear them speak and can then relate it to their writing (which is a long way of saying "dude, your spelling/grammar is fine and is totally not an issue" *Laugh*).

Suggestions: When you fill up this blog and have to start a second one (which trust me, it happens), you should title it "The Jlog of JAJ, Part II". No reason...I just like trying to pronounce "JAJ" *Laugh*.

Final Thoughts: I always enjoy your entries. Your perspective and point of view tends to differ from what I'm used to reading, so it's like a bit of fresh air in an otherwise boring, grown-up world. Cheers to being original, fun, witty, and just you.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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10
10
Review of Dragon's Den  
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Dragon's Den.

First Impression: Hey Dragon! How is it that I've read your blog a bunch of times and have yet to actually give it a review? Anyway, here's the review you won as part of your winning bid in "March Madness Auction ~ CLOSED.

What I Really Liked: You know I read a lot of blogs and blog entries, and I'd say there's a large enough percentage of them that if I read them without knowing who wrote them, I wouldn't be able to tell you who did what. But yours is one that has a distinct voice, and I appreciate that (meaning, I could very almost certainly pull yours out of a police lineup *Laugh*). Having read someone enough times, you get a sense of their writing voice and their style, and that familiarity makes going back each time feel more comfortable.

Spelling And Grammar: Well, I guess you can't misspell an emoticon or an emoji *Laugh*. But in all seriousness, no, no problems here.

Suggestions: I don't think I've got anything of note to add...you're good at what you do and I wouldn't suggest doing anything differently. I've caught your entries in all sorts of different activities- the 30DBC, the camping trips, your Australia tour (which was amazing and I can't thank you enough for heading that up, but your entries were especially well-written during that also), Pursue The Horizon- and what you do works well for you and for the people who read it, so why change it?

Final Thoughts: Very often a fun, quick, light read...I see your entry on the newsfeed, I usually swing by, and I'm not weighed down with heavy thoughts or impending doom or unmanageable drama. I get to catch up with you a little bit, and it's all good. I appreciate your tone and your voice, and panda cookies *Bigsmile*. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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11
11
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Awwwww! Yay! I made your "Welcome" port map *Bigsmile*...how sweet of you!

Sorry, this isn't really a review review...not much to change here anyway, cuz it's your thing and it's fun, and keep writing fun and fascinating blog entries! Your Jlog is already pretty Beast...and now anyone who visits your port will know just how ambitious and talented you are! *Bigsmile*

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12
12
Review of Winter Wonderland  
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Winter Wonderland.

First Impression: Hello and welcome to WDC! Disclaimer: I don't normally read short stories, but I'm finding it hard to come across poems right now, so I took a chance on this and I'm pretty pleased! Speaking as someone who really doesn't like snow, of course *Laugh*.

What I Really Liked: Your use of imagery is good...you paint a picture one can easily visualize *Thumbsupl*. And the sarcasm at the end made me chuckle a little.

Spelling And Grammar: I'm not an expert here, and I don't think I noticed any blatant spelling errors...but this line really threw me off: "I shoes ok shove my arms into my coat sleeves..." Not sure what you were going for there or if it was just a typo, or if you were saying it that way in your head as you were typing and left it. Also, I could be wrong about this, but here I don't think you need to capitalize "Mom" and "Dad" each time...I don't think it's necessary.

Suggestions: It's probably just a typo, but at the very end, after "Wonderland", you probably meant to use a period rather than a comma. Unless I'm reading an unfinished story, which is also a possibility.

Final Thoughts: Hey, thanks for sharing this with us! Hope your WDC experience is long and fruitful!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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13
13
Review of Life's Secret  
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Life's Secret.

First Impression: Hello there, and welcome! I hope you're enjoying your WDC experience so far! Sometimes I get in the mood for dark poetry, and seeing this described as such caught my attention.

What I Really Liked: Personally, I'm not in the school of thought that peoms should be center-aligned, but it works well here in conjunction with the way you have your thoughts spaced out. It almost reads like a stream of consciousness, with deep grasps for air before going on to the next line.

Spelling And Grammar: I'm not an expert, and I didn't catch any spelling errors...but I would consider using a semicolon in this line: You open your eyes and realize that life isn't a fantasy, a letter isn't coming from Hogwarts and Zeus isn't going to send you on an epic quest. Maybe replace the comma after "fantasy" with a semicolon?

Suggestions: I don't really think I have anything to add here that would make a difference...you've done an excellent job.

Final Thoughts: I think you've done very well with what's often the hardest things for people to talk about, but a lot of people go through...the existential crisis. It's different for everyone, in circumstances and in how it manifests, but even the most outwardly-seeming well-adjusted individuals have them. Having lost someone close recently who was in the midst of his own worries, trouble, and struggles, I know the importance of understanding that there are people who will listen to you and love you unconditionally (and I don't necessarily mean "you" as in you personally...just that anyone and everyone needs to feel like talking and communicating can help people in these situations).

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

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14
14
for entry "Invalid Entry
Rated: ASR | (1.0)
As for Spam, this is terrible and also befitting of one star *Laugh*. Following it through the first time wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but if you use a mouse and scroll up and down really really fast you can almost see an image of a ghost taking shape in the path of the words.

Just kidding. I made all that up to see if anyone tries it. *Laugh* *Facepalm*

...

...

...

...

...

...I'll bet people will come across this review on the public review page, read the part about scrolling really fast, see the part that says I was kidding, and will still try it anyway. That's the magic of reviewing and WDC at work. *Laugh*


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15
15
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Nicely done Neva! *Bigsmile*


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16
16
Review of Moving Day  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Moving Day.

First Impression: Hello and a belated welcome to WDC, Peaches ! I found this piece using the random Read & Review tool, so I took a peek and liked what I saw.

What I Really Liked: I enjoyed how you held out a bit the reason why someone was moving (even though your first paragraph implies it's the end of some kind of relationship). It would've been easy to assume that maybe someone was going off to college, as colleges have just started up for the semester in my area. I also liked some of your word choices, and your imagery was unique...it added a bit of flavor to what could be considered a sad type of situation.

Spelling And Grammar: I took a quick glance at your port and bio before reading this, and that might explain how a word like "removalists" can show up in here...it's a word I'd never heard of in this particular context, and I thought it was brilliant! I think in the US we just refer to them as "movers"...but "removalists" sounds better now! Other than that, no issues at all with spelling or grammar.

Suggestions: In your second paragraph: "She wondered the house"...I think that should be "She wandered the house". And in the third paragraph, I'd consider separating the second sentence with a semicolon between "love" and "John"...but that's just my opinion and how'd I'd do it. I don't really ever write fiction or short stories though, so take that as you will *Laugh*. Other than that, I think you've done a good job and I wouldn't change anything else.

Final Thoughts: I appreciate you taking the time to share your work with us at WDC, and I hope you enjoy your time here! If you ever have any site-related questions or need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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17
17
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "What's She Up to Now? Jody's Life Blog.

First Impression: Just hangin' around, doing random reviews...the Read & Review item generator was giving me a bunch of stories I wasn't into, so I figured I may as well start reviewing items I've actually read recently *Laugh*.

What I Really Liked: I've read tons of blogs over the years, and some stand out for one reason or another, and some just all sound boring and the same. Yours falls into the first category, because you have a voice that distinguishes itself and isn't there just to be there. You're not writing entries just to be a part of something; you're also writing to share your experiences and be read, and that really comes out on your entries.

Spelling And Grammar: Everyone makes mistakes occasionally, and sometimes we spot them and sometimes we don't, but you're usually pretty good about the spelling and grammar. I tend to notice and get distracted by it when I see it, and I don't usually have that problem when I read your entries.

Suggestions: Far be it from me to tell anyone how they should write their blog entries *Laugh*. You've done a great job so far, and I'm sure you'll continue to do well whenever you choose to write an entry.

Final Thoughts: It's been a pleasure getting to know you through GoT and the 30DBC, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff down the road! And thanks again for taking part in August's camping adventure! *Bigsmile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

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18
18
Review of The Arrival  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "The Arrival.

First Impression: Hello hippychick , and welcome to WDC! I found your item using the random Read & Review tool, and it looked interesting so I thought I'd take a look. I wasn't disappointed; I though this was a well-written piece that shows an appreciation for the beauty of a sunrise.

What I Really Liked: I enjoyed the imagery you used...I really felt like I was there, taking part in watching it along with you and your cat. Speaking of the cat, adding him into the mix was a nice touch...it added another dimension to a topic that can sometimes become cliche.

Spelling And Grammar: The one thing I noticed as far as spelling goes...in your second-to-last paragraph, second sentence in: "...as I join the sun in it's process of rising...", the apostrophe isn't necessary in "it's". Obviously a spell-check run isn't gonna pick that up, but it's an easy fix. Other than that, I didn't notice any other major spelling errors. As far as grammar, just about everything checks out (but I'm no expert). The only spot that I'm getting kinda hung up on is that same sentence I just mentioned...it feels really long for some reason. I don't know for sure that it's grammatically incorrect, but it does feel a bit like a run-on. Also, I'm not sure if this is really an issue or not, but your opening lines start out in past tense, while the remainder of the essay is in present tense. It's something I tend to struggle with once in awhile, maintaining a consistent tense...not sure how you'd want to fix that though, because it does make sense (to me at least, but you might run into people once in awhile who are sticklers for that sort of thing).

Suggestions: Honestly, besides what I mentioned in the Spelling/Grammar section of this review, I don't think I'd really change anything else. I like the idea of this piece, the sentiment of it, and how descriptive it is.

Final Thoughts: Thank you for sharing this with us! I hope you're enjoying WDC so far, and if you have any site-related questions or concerns, or need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask! *Smile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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19
19
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Rendezvous on the beach.

First Impression: Hello Abe ! I came across this piece via the random Read & Review item generator, and I just wanted to leave a few thoughts on it.

What I Really Liked: I enjoy nostalgic pieces like this...summertime memories, the hint of young love (or even just an innocent crush). And I do enjoy that even though this is labeled as Prose and is written in a free-verse manner, it flows nicely...there doesn't seem to be one steady rhythm, but it moves along well and it helps push the story itself along.

Spelling And Grammar: In the second line, I'm wondering if "in the north west" should be "on the northwest". I'm also unsure as to why you used the apostrophes around Thalawila...I don't believe they're necessary, because you explain what it is in the next line.

Suggestions: This is only my opinion; it's your piece and you can do what you want, but I would suggest punctuating it and using capitalization when necessary. While I enjoy certain styles of writing that don't utilize these, I think this piece would be better served if it read more like sentences (because of the story you're telling). Also, in the first line of the fourth part, I would remove the comma between "fish" and "the fishermen"...it's not necessary. And then, in the last couple parts, there's a bit of repetition that could be massaged out...like "beauty/beautiful", and multiple instances of "away". A little variance can sometimes go a long way.

Final Thoughts: Like I mentioned earlier, I do enjoy pieces like this that trade in nostalgia and the remembering of innocent times. I think you're well on your way toward having a really beautiful piece here. Thank you for sharing it with us on WDC...I hope you enjoy your time here, and if you ever have any site-related questions or need help with something, please don't hesitate to ask! *Smile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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20
20
Review of Reflections  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Reflections.

First Impression: Hello zebrashark ! This is a short, simple piece, but it conveys a message I think that's often overlooked...are we what we see, or do we become what is shown back to us?

What I Really Liked: I dig the separation of the line "Don't know which side is the scariest.", and how you paired the rhyme with "mysterious". As I mentioned, I think the idea this piece brings up is overlooked...I don't know that people really pay much attention to their reflections in mirrors and what they mean; they're just making sure their clothes or hair are right, and they're not thinking much more beyond that. Also, I'm not usually crazy about repetition (especially in shorter pieces like this), but you changed up the last two parts just enough to separate them stylistically while driving home your point...it works well in this situation.

Spelling And Grammar: No spelling or grammar issues that stand out in this item.

Suggestions: It's not really a suggestion as much as it's a pet peeve of mine...I'm not an expert and I don't know what "the rules" say about this, but it's my belief that you don't have to capitalize each line, especially if the line starts in the middle of a sentence. But that's just my opinion, and everyone does things their own way.

Final Thoughts: This was a pretty thought-provoking little item, and I'm glad I came across it this afternoon! Welcome to WDC...I hope you enjoy your time here, and if you ever need help with anything or have any questions about something, don't hesitate to ask! *Smile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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21
21
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Crawl into the crevice of my heart

First Impression: Hi Natechia dos Reis ! Upon first reading this, I could tell this was an emotional piece. It has a mood to it that's almost somber...there's longing, but with the idea that it isn't meant to last. Even after one read, this item has a way of affecting its reader.

What I Really Liked: Even though it's short, it carries a lot of emotional weight. There's some strong imagery at work here as well, especially in a line like "with delicate hands build yourself a nest". I also appreciated the fact that there's a glimmer of positive hope for the narrator at the end; this isn't a sad piece in that people leave her life and that's it...but that she will replace them when they leave, and she won't have to deal with the pain of loss or loneliness for long.

Spelling And Grammar: There were no glaring spelling or grammar errors that stuck out to me.

Suggestions: The only part I had trouble reading was the second-last line, "When time comes"...and it's not even that big of a deal; it's probably just the difference in how I would say it maybe versus how you would say it, but when I read it out loud I have the tendency to want to say "When the time comes". But that's just my opinion; I don't know if you had a particular form in mind when you wrote this where syllable counts are important (I see that it's in a folder titled Free Verse, so I'm guessing not).

Final Thoughts: I like short pieces that allow me to feel something; items that say a lot without saying much, or that contain more than just the words on the surface. You did a great job with this piece, and I'm glad I came across it. And as I mentioned, I do appreciate that this ends on the premise that all is not lost for the narrator when someone exits her life. Well done! *Smile*

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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22
22
Review of The Horror Near  
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "Thermostat.

First Impression: Hello Brent Vaughn , and welcome to WDC! I found your item while doing some random reviews, so if you don't mind I'd like to share a few thoughts on it.

What I Really Liked: Seems like there are a lot of poems being posted as of late in the horror genre! Maybe it's me, but I don't think I've seen so many as I've seen recently. What makes this stand out to me is that these could almost serve as song lyrics as well. The way the rhyme scheme alternates with each verse and the near-repetition of the awake/dreaming lines would serve that purpose well.

Spelling And Grammar: No spelling or grammar errors that I'm aware of, but I'm not an expert.

Suggestions: I don't know that I have anything I could say specifically to make this better, even though I rated it 4.0. I guess, because I don't read a lot of the horror/scary genre, most of your ancillary don't come off as generic to the genre (I know that's not really a suggestion). I will say that I don't think in this instance all your lines need to start with capital letters...because they don't feel like they're meant to be read as complete sentences. They're more like thoughts yelled or screamed in agony.

Final Thoughts: I like this...there's a good amount of emotion in this, whether it's intentional or not. I know I'm probably not the right person when it comes to whether or not this is actually "scary", but you do an excellent job at the "death" and "dark" parts, which I think carries more weight than just a catch-all term like "horror/scary". Great work!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

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23
23
Review of The Devil's Tune  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "The Devil's Tune.

First Impression: I was just going through some random items when yours came up, so I decided to take a look...the title and description sounded interesting enough.

What I Really Liked: I do like that there's a loose rhyme scheme underneath what could be considered free verse. The story told within this item also plays out well. This isn't the kind of poem I typically read, which makes this fresh and interesting for me, and it has the making of something in the horror genre.

Spelling And Grammar: I don't think I saw any major spelling errors or anything of concern.

Suggestions: I will say I am a little torn, however. This item revolves from a structural standpoint primarily around sentence fragments, which I don't have a problem with. But there are inconsistencies with capital letters and the beginnings of lines and with punctuation...you use it for dialogue but nowhere else (save for a random mid-line comma toward the middle of this item), and I'm not sure how I feel about that given the way some of your sentences come off. Also, there are occasional hiccups where the timing of each line seems to work against you (I know I mentioned that as something I liked, but it's also a bit all over the place and it stunts your rhythm). If you were inclined to rework this item in the future, I would suggest at the very least a more consistent approach syllable-wise...by adding a rhythmic element you can almost up the sinister, evil vibe this piece might want to make use of. Just a thought though. Also, no need to rewrite the title of the poem in your item body. It's already at the top of the page in bold, so including it in your piece like that isn't necessary.

Final Thoughts: I understand that this was written quite awhile ago and for a contest, so I hope you did well...and like I said, this review is meant to help you only if it's something down the road you think you might be interested in reworking a little. The story you're telling is great and the idea in general is excellent. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

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24
24
Review of phantom clowns  
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Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "phantom clowns.

First Impression: Hi and welcome to WDC, chinda ...I came across this while doing some random reviews and I decided to stop and take a look. Your title was intriguing and I like short, interesting free-verse poems.

What I Really Liked: I like that there is a bit of a wild backstory about this hotel. What you've done here sounds almost like it could be a set-up for a really intense horror story...you've got a setting and a basic hook, so you're on your way.

Spelling And Grammar: In the first part, I think in like three you meant "seen" instead of "see"...could've just been a "typing fast typo" that spell-check will never catch; it happens. In the first line of the third part, the names...I'm guessing "frank" should be capitalized. Unless that's a description of they kind of personal Lawry is, but I doubt it *Laugh*. Also, I'm assuming the first mention of "urban legends" needs to be capitalized as well (since it's the name of a tv show; I would also note this by italicizing it, but there's no rule for that that I'm aware of). Oh, and if "boulevard hotel" is the name of your building, it should also probably be capitalized.

Suggestions: I have a couple here...take them as you will, or don't take them at all, it's no big deal. There's a couple instances of repetition in this piece that don't serve the item very well..."hotel" in the first two lines; "hotel" again in lines 6 & 7; "urban legends" in lines 11 & 12. I think there are more creative ways to get at what you're trying to say than just repeating yourself.

For instance, here's what I'd do in your opening stanza:
The Boulevard Hotel in Los Angeles
was a 15-story building
that had seen better days.


There are little tweaks like that that could be made throughout this entire piece.

Your third stanza could probably use some commas too, depending on how you want to break it up...maybe even break it up into two sentences because of its length. And your ending...feels unfinished, and not just because of the potential for more to this story occurring. The first line there could be a sentence. The third line needs qualifiers for the dialogue...quotation marks, etc. And then maybe a short explanation of why Lincoln would say that, perhaps in order to tie the piece off where it is. But like I said, that's mainly just my opinion.

Final Thoughts: Well, for people who are into the "true crime" scene and/or speculative horror fiction, I think you have the basis for something solid to continue working on. I would keep at this and see how it develops...but sometimes you need to take a step back from it every now and then and work on something else before you can see just what needs to be done. Good luck!

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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25
25
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi! I'm Rocky Horror Fivesixer Show , and it's my pleasure to review your work today. Remember, this is only my opinion, so take whatever you'd like from it...after all, you're the author! *Smile* The item I'm reviewing is "By His Own Hands He Dies.

First Impression: Hi again Jenny...and thank you for allowing me to review this at your suggestion. I'm not sure if this is something I would've been drawn to on my own, but this is very interesting and I want to thank you for showing it to me.

What I Really Liked: Again, very interesting. Between so many different vices that exist in our world, I think there are a lot of interchangeable parts that could be substituted in here and still carry similar weight. On the surface you went with food, or at least food-based metaphors, and by the end of this I was like "Yup, everything processed and pre-packaged for consumption is gonna kill us." Sad but true...and maybe I'm missing the point but that's what resonated most with me.

Spelling And Grammar: No spelling issues here, nor major grammatical one. In that respect, you make reviewing easy!

Suggestions: I did get hung up a little on your third paragraph, starting with the sentence "Just as porn...". I tried reading it over a few times, but something seems off with it, although I can't place my finger on exactly what. I understand the context, but it feels clunky, like it's missing a word or it's a run-on sentence or something. Not sure, to be honest. Could just be me though...I'm not perfect and I'm only judging this on what my eyes see and how it sits in my head. I almost feel the same way about your very last two sentences...something doesn't feel right with them either; maybe combining them and dropping the second "sage man" might not sound so wordy (I know that's a horrible thing to say...and trust me, you're hearing this from someone who makes up his own poetry rules as he goes along *Laugh*). Again, just a thought...no big deal. I still get where you're goin' with this for the most part.

Final Thoughts: Solid and thought-provoking on many levels. No one can take that away from you. Even if this review doesn't seem like it makes a lot of sense or isn't what you were looking for, I hope it isn't discouraging. I appreciate what I think this is trying to tell me, and don't let me stop you from always saying what you want to say.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to check out your work at WDC! I hope you found this review helpful and encouraging! *Smile*

Write on!
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