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387 Public Reviews Given
556 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Weekly Goals  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ever since I really started paying attention to the "Weekly Goals" on my newsfeed, I've felt a little stronger sense of direction when I'm involved in WDC activities, along with a better sense of purpose and fulfillment. I'm glad to see that "Weekly Goals" has finally been made into its own forum! It seems like a natural progression for this activity, and so far it's proven to be successful. I'm looking forward to seeing how I'll approach each week and what challenges I can set up for myself to improve my already-fantastic WDC experience.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (3.5)
A really intriguing piece, but I feel like there's got to be something more to it. I have two suggestions...lose the repetitive "is" after "it's" near the end, and don't capitalize the word "So" (non-capitalization when you don't use punctuation keeps the consistency intact). I like the flow and pace of this item, and the meaning I can take away from it, but I just think there could be more to it. It's still an enjoyable read.


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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (3.0)
I don't recall ever hearing "in for a penny in for a pound" as an expression before, but now I fully understand it. The story is awkwardly adorable in its reminiscence and charm. There are minor typos, random extra spaces, and other grammatical errors hear and there, but the story itself is what gives this piece its real heart. It feels like I'm sitting next to you in a bar and you're telling me this story over a few beers, which speaks to the simple beauty this item has. Thanks for sharing it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Idle Hands  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
This item is simple but solid in its meaning. I love the style and I'm a fan of free verse personally...but if I could make one suggestion, don't capitalize any word except the letter "I". It's just something...I forget where I learned it from, but to me it's always been "if you're going to use punctuation, use it consistently, and if you're not going to use punctuation, don't capitalize". I don't think it's necessarily a rule, but it's something I've always kind of tried to abide by. Besides that though, it's a good statement of knowing who you are when you don't know who you are, and of knowing who you aren't (at least that's kind of how I see it).


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (3.5)
I can really feel the many different emotions in this piece...hurt, loss, skepticism, anger and more. I think with a few minor edits this could be a really powerful item. A few things I noticed: some of the lines are just fragmented sentences separated by (sometimes unnecessary) punctuation marks; the repetitiveness of "You say"; and there are a couple questions posed that don't actually end with a question mark. Otherwise, emotionally this is still a very strong item. Write on! *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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81
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Intriguing. Just a bit of advice...you may want to reconsider rating this above E (I'd go 18+ to be on the safe side, but a 13+ rating should be ok) just in case some of the imagery used in this item gets misinterpreted and WDC support decides to alter the rating first. (Here's a link to the ratings guidelines, if that helps... http://www.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entr...)

Writing-wise, a beautiful piece that fills the imagination. A couple small typos ("imagine Ovid gong" and "as bird deliver me")...easy fixes, but otherwise a fantastic item!



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC!! I really enjoyed this. It's simplistic yet deep. If I could make one suggestion, try using WritingML's indent code in your third line rather than relying just on manual spacing (just type indent between and see if that looks better or not). That, and the last line kinda threw me off a bit...a karaoke what with birds? A tune maybe? (It could just be me and the way I'd use the word "karaoke"...either as an adjective, or a noun without "a" before it.) Other than that, I love the open style and the flow of this piece. Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (3.5)
Grammatically and spelling-wise this item is sound. Maybe it doesn't totally work as a short story or flash fiction, but perhaps it could be a prelude or introduction to a longer horror or fantasy piece. There's definite potential if that's something you'd like to consider down the road.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Writing.Com 101  
for entry "Gift Points
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Don't get me wrong...while I find this to be an odd choice for an item to come up while using the "Random Review" function of WDC, sometimes after being around awhile it's good to read about things you've known of for quite often (and sometimes you learn something new or forgot about a particular feature. The info presented here about gift points is well written, helpful, and should certainly be of interest to anyone who has recently joined the WDC community. Everything one needs to know is right here, and the links at the end provide quick access to more in-depth materials.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Laugh* I think anyone who has ever been in a relationship has had this conversation with their significant other at least once or twice in the course of their time together! It's definitely relatable. I'm not sure what the WDC Survivor contest was, but I'm guessing that played a part as to why there's no determination as to who's saying what, but there's a clear difference between the two parties, and you did a great job of having one convince the other to do what the person wanted done in the first place. I hope this did well in the contest!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of BLOG RING  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I totally wish I would've come across this forum over the last few years! I would've loved to be a part of it. It seems like most of the group's members no longer have blogs available on WDC anymore. In case you're ever interested in getting back into blogging, I'd like to invite you to join a couple of different groups... the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS and the "Blogging Circle of Friends . Also, if you're not already a subscriber, there's WDC's unofficial blogging newsletter The Blogging Bliss ("Invalid Item). I do hope you'll check them out.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
An interesting item with a creative twist at the end. The main thing that threw me off about this piece physically was the spacing after the quotation marks during the dialogue, which itself was well-conceived. I might consider combining some of the descriptive paragraphs with the actual dialogue; in particular James' speaking parts. But that's just my opinion. Good luck on the contest you entered this in (and just a helpful hint for others who might read this item: sometimes it helps to have a {bitem: link to contests before or after the body of the piece...again just my opinion, but it might give readers a little more insight to the story).


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is absolutely beautiful. The words and imagery described are very sweet. I have one concern, and it's more of a stylistic pet peeve of mine than anything else...consistency of punctuation. If you use punctuation, use it all the way through. Picking a few places to use commas and nothing else just isn't consistent, and can throw off readers sometimes...especially in short but otherwise well-worded pieces. Otherwise, this is a nice poem that captures both your imagination and the readers'.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Just a Moment  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this...I think it's very relatable personally, because every time I'm out in public could be another opportunity for something like this to happen.

The set-up to the story works, and so does the plot. The middle and end seem a little forced, but maybe that's due in part to the situation itself. Even though I'm not crazy about repetition in stories (the continued reference to her as a canvas comes to mind), I absolutely love the line "It is in the moment after the missed moment that you realize all it takes is just a moment to change a life."...so very true indeed.

There are a few basic edits in this you can catch with a fine-toothed comb; otherwise it's a solid work that details what a lot of us experience but never seem to find the right words both to say to someone else while in that situation, and when relating it to others. Nice work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Rainbow Love  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I love the pace and flow of this item, and its heart is definitely in the right place. I just want to point out a few minor (and basic) grammatical things that would make this an even better read if you chose to correct them...

*Bullet* In the first line, it's "you're" instead of "your". Use "and" before "together" and change the second comma to a period.

*Bullet* In the third line, use "so" before "just", and substitute "and" for the second comma.

*Bullet* Capitalize the I in the fourth line.

*Bullet* Use an apostrophe in "others" and eliminate the first comma and second "take". Put an apostrophe in "Lets".

*Bullet* Change "guaranteed" to "I guarantee".

I hope you don't mind me being so thorough. I just really enjoyed the piece but as you can see, most of the things I noticed were minor grammatical things that a quick edit can change. I thought on this whole this was a cute and kinda bouncy poem of love, longing and the hope of sharing that with someone that I think a lot of people (especially romantics) can relate to.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of My favorite sin  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I hate to admit it but I've been that "other guy" before, and while the suspense and thrill of sneaking around can often be a rush, more often than not it ends badly.

I like the pace of this item, as it's almost befitting of the feelings one can go through in this situation. I would suggest for this particular piece, however, that you consider punctuating it...I don't think that well-placed periods and commas would detract from the tempo of the lines.

Other than that, I enjoyed this piece in that it was relatable. It felt true and very real to the experience of dating a married woman. That in itself is very commendable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Love Field  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is an amazing tribute to your father. It's filled with so much imagery, both of tangible and emotional natures. The only flaw is likely just a typo (the lowercase "d" after "sequestered") and is easily fixed (unless it's just an abbreviation of "dad" meant as a term of endearment). Other than that, this is a perfect piece in my opinion.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Manhattan  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (5.0)
This reminds me of the last time I went to New York City, somewhere around 2003 or 2004. I stayed with a friend who was attending school there, and she took me to Ground Zero at the site of the World Trade Center. It was equal parts sad, humbling and hopeful. Not only is that day something nobody will ever forget, but so is the resolve of the city and the people. Thank you for posting this as a reminder of the true spirit of NYC.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I think you've deftly described exactly how one little thought or action can change the outlook of an entire day. I really like how you broke up lines between verses, and ended sentences mid-line. To me, that's a very underrated technique and it really adds a uniqueness to the writer's voice. I do have to ask you what you meant when you described this item as a "storoem"...I figured it was a form of poetry or another way of saying "story", but https://www.dictionary.com didn't turn up any results, so I Googled it and this was the first link that popped up: http://www.firstwriter.com/reviews/gilleland.shtml......I'm assuming it's you because of the name match between there and the 'Support This Author" blurb on WDC, and you've got a pretty impressive online presence!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can relate to a lot of the imagery expressed in this piece, having been treated for depression and anxiety. I'd like to make a couple suggestions to the body of this item, which are mainly just my personal opinions more than anything...I'm totally ok with not using punctuation in poetry, but 1) use it consistently, or don't use it at all; and 2) if you're not going to use punctuation, don't use capital letters either. I know it's not any kind of technical rule (and just an opinion more than anything), but I think as long as there is consistency one way or the other it just looks and reads a lot better than either being used in some lines and not in others. I know it gets a little complicated because you reference God and religion, so it's not as cut and dry as to capitalize/punctuate or to not. Other than that, I think it's always important for thoughts and feelings are shared regarding mental illness, because it helps others to see that while we may look fine on the outside, we're always healing on the inside. I appreciate you writing about it and posting this piece not only for those who can gain a better understanding, but for those who also are experiencing life in similar ways.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice work, Ken! I even learned something from this, as I didn't know what a "canard" was (and I appreciate you sticking the definition of the word at the end...if I could make a suggestion, make it a footnote with Writing ML). I'm not personally afflicted with most of these issues, but I can appreciate the sense of humor you relate along with them. The item's got a nice tempo, and it's neither too short nor too long. Overall, it's a good read. *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Lost on the wind  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (5.0)
An amazingly simple yet profound gesture of thought and thought process. I wouldn't change a thing about the simplicity or the free-flowing vibes of this item. You've defined happiness at its most welcome of points...where contentedness meets introspection. And you make it sound like it's the most admired place to be.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of As My Love Dies  
Review by Fivesixer
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is incredibly sad and makes anything remotely looking like a true review nearly impossible. I can feel the tears running down my laptop's screen when I read and reread this. It's hard for me to separate emotions from reviewing, so please understand I offer these thoughts with a bit of a heavy heart for your loss.

I think some of the lines are a bit fragmented, but perhaps that adds to the texture and personality of this item. Your use of comparisons and personal touches augment the emotion not only implied, but detailed. I want to offer you a hug, but in your ending, I know that you've found some sense of closure within, which is more than anyone could every try to offer with anything they've got. This is a very moving read.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.5)
I always think it's amazing when people step up and offer help to those who really want to learn how to navigate WDC when they first join. I'm sure upon arrival it can seem overwhelming at first...there's a lot of info visually to sift through. Having been a member for 12 years, I can speak firsthand about how things have changed over the years, and how much simpler the site was back then to just create a profile and go from there. While the changes that have been made over the years have been great, and it's easier for older members to grow along with them, I'm sure sometimes it can be intimidating joining up as a new member now. Groups like these are informational and encouraging, and will only serve to benefit everyone...not just the new members who can feel comfortable contributing to the WDC community, but to the community itself from having exposure to new participants. So thank you...I hope this group continues to succeed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Fivesixer
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful anecdote, Ann. I'm so glad you shared it, because it's an important and overlooked message.

I have just a few notes, in case you're ever up to revising this...

I noticed a couple of minor spelling/grammar/spacing errors, and I hope you don't mind me pointing them out..."wrpte", "When son was 12...", and "door,and it...". Little stuff a fine-toothed comb can fix.

Otherwise, it's a great article, story and lesson, boosted by your own experiences. Your kids were fortunate to have a mom who understood the importance of "living in the moment".


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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