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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fluffy817
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12 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Love  
Review by Cecilia
Rated: E | (4.0)
He seems awful lonely. I like this. You can easily connect with the character, whether actually relating to him or not. The way you describe things in here make it so easy to describe. But that second paragraph, you kind of mix the metaphors around as far as I could tell. Maybe it was on purpose I don't know. Like for example when you write- "The one thing about rubber bands is they are fragile. You can't fight them. If you do, everything is left to fate." How does fighting rubber bands lead to being left to fate? Wouldn't fighting rubber bands break? It kind of jumps from one subject to another leaving an open space in between, if that makes any sense. Just something to think about :). Besides that though I really liked it, keep it up!
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Review by Cecilia
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The story seems good so far, though I think your character might have focused to much on the technician's eyes. Usually if people saw something like that they would put it too a trick of the light, but maybe that's the point? She notices things like that because she's different or suspicious or I am babbling, sorry. Okay, I like it! It sounds, or should I say reads (?), well.
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Review of Stay  
Review by Cecilia
Rated: E | (3.5)
I don't know much about poems but I liked it. It's rhythm I guess I should say (?) took me a few lines to get. I like the story your telling with the poem, asking God not to leave. One part I especially like is when you say- "Each breath that I take is hallow and quick how can love make one so sick". Well anyway, I think it's awesome. Hope it helped!
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Review of Yuleman  
Review by Cecilia
Rated: E | (4.0)
Haha! I love it! Entertaining and giving a message at the same time. I definitely like the part about the Yule Lads. Only, I don't get why they should ask for clothes and not toys. The poem caught my attention the moment I started to read the first line. Bravo!
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