I did have to look up cathartic (although may be it's just my low-ish vocabulary). I like how you used the prompt words . . . and how you were able to avoid the forbidden ones! The "dragons" were well-incorporated.
I couldn't see any mistakes. That, of course, may be from my little experience with poetry.
You have a cool poem (in my professional opinion, at least).
This is an honest review. Please gather what you find necessary and throw out the rest.
How I found your item: As a part of the I Write activity, this is my item to review.
What I liked: I like how freeing this sounds. A lovely poem.
What could be improved: I noticed that 'quietly' is three syllables,
not two. Perhaps you could use a synonym, such as softly or faintly, or something else, depending on the feeling you want here. Other than that, I couldn't see any mistakes.
This is an honest review. Please feel free to take what you find necessary from this review and throw out the rest!
How I found your item: I saw this on the Noticing Newbies list.
First glance/How I understand your item: A cute story about a rabbit and her friends.
What I liked: It was a cute story that definitely could be turned into something bigger.
What could be improved: As I just said,
you could try to stretch this out. Perhaps include some dialogue and showing what they look like or some trouble even Champ has a hard time getting through. Also, you only need to say that the eagle's name is Fred. Everywhere else, you could use either just 'Fred' or 'the eagle'.
This is an honest review. Please feel free to take what you find necessary from this review and throw out the rest!
How I found your item: I saw your piece on the Noticing Newbies list, er, page . . . thing.
First glance/How I understand your item: This story seems to be about a man and his affection for his family, plus his willingness to help others.
What I liked: I liked the plot line.
You had an interesting idea here.
What could be improved: First of all,
it would be nice if you described or, even better, showed what they all look like. Especially the girl, who I first imagined as, like, a five year old girl. At the end, however, she is sipping cocoa, which actually makes me think of a young teen. Secondly, some of the things that he is doing seems to be kind of boring. You might want to cut some of that out. In addition, it is usually better if you don't actually say how much time has passed. So instead of Five hours in, you can say 'Several hours in'.
Overall impression: A good story of second chances.
A nice poem with a few rhyming lines. I did notice that many of the lines you were trying to rhyme didn't quite make it. I don't think 'girl' and 'world' quite rhyme . . . However, the love shown in this poem almost makes me forget those tiny mistakes.
Other than that, I can't see any mistakes. I'm not really experienced with poetry, so take what you want and throw the rest out.
I like your story. It was quite interesting. At first I thought that the words in italics was something she was writing, but when she started saying she was walking, I figured it was her thinking.
I like how you gave their history together without simply stating it.
I can't see any grammatical or punctuational errors in this piece.
I like your story. You wrote in the description that it was probably done before, but I have not seen anything quite like it. I enjoyed the story.
I can't see any grammatical or punctuational mistakes.
I think it's cool that the dragon can make himself look like a knight. It's an interesting ability that I don't think I've ever read about for a dragon.
This is an interesting story. I'm not very experienced at reviewing yet, so I may have missed a few things. However, you did write "and after about 30 minutes or so", and I think "after" and "or so" describing the same thing is redundant.
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