I saw this poem in Sophy's newsletter on Sunday, and here are my thoughts on this piece. This is my advice, you can do with it what you feel best.
Overall: Nicely written, and a true sentiment for your fiance. I'm sure he finds it peaceful and is happy with it. I also hope you have found peace and solace in your faith? Beautiful poem.
Grammar/edit: I noticed 3 issues, but may be typo's or just overlooked.
In your first line you have; Like a sparrow is soars... I believe you meant "it", or you could remove this word also. It reads well either way. If you use the word it, you'll have to put a comma after sparrow.
2nd issue was the line, dark soil is since tendrils for searching for... Here I believe you mean, it sends tendrils searching for...
3rd issue is the line, Where my lover lies lying in his bed... I would remove one of those words. either lies, or lying.
I'm sure these are oversights, I usually proofread 3 to 4 times. But I still have issues.
Favorite part: The whole poem, but mostly the lines, Where my lover lying in his bed... to the very end of the poem.
I'm giving you a 4 star rating, but if you wish I could re-rate after you have looked this over again?
I'm truly sorry for your loss, and again, this is beautiful.
Also, welcome to Writing.com! I wish you much success, there are a lot of great writers here that have helped me along the way.