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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/franksimon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: ON
233 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Dave,
Congratulations on placing 2nd in the Traditions Poetry Contest! I am reviewing all winners, so here are me thoughts on this piece.

Overall: Fantastic! (in a word). I've wanted to try this type of form, but was afraid mine would drive e nuts or wouldn't make sense. You, on the other hand have done a fabulous job here as it reads well and is nice to hear in our times we live in presently.

Edit/Grammar: I saw no issues, and wouldn't change a thing! Very well composed.

Favorite part: The 3rd and 4th stanzas, but mostly the final stanza that ties it all together and fills the heart with good cause and merriment.

Great write Dave. I see why I was tied for 3rd. Lol

Regards,
Frank
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jay,

Congratulations on winning first prize, it is truly fitting! I am reviewing all winners in the Traditions Contest.

Overall: A very poignant look at the trying times we are in the midst of. Wonderful creation of words.

Edit/Grammar: No issues noticed, and wouldn't change a word.

Favorite part: The whole poem, but mostly the 3rd stanza, last line. Each ship of state...,

Great write Jay!

Regards,
Frank
3
3
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Baloney Bill,

I saw this poem on the read and review section on this site. So here are my thoughts.

Overall; Great! This is a great homage to guitarists. I have to agree with your poem,
because after a year and a half. I can't seem to get that much sound as others.

Edit/Grammar; I didn't see anything that needs attention, or issues with grammar.

Favorite part; The whole thing! I just wish there was more to this poem.

Take care,
Frank
4
4
Review of Pretty  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

I noticed this poem in the read and review section. Here are my thoughts on your poem.

Overall: Wonderful and well written. It sounds as though this girl likes to hear she is pretty,
and that she can get away with almost anything because she is pretty. Sweet at first, then teasing and ornery
shows her true identity. I like the way you tie together the beginning and the end with the same wording.
Then with the final line resulting in a surprise for the reader. This reminds me of our youngest daughter.
pretty and sweet, and quite outspoken at times. But in the end, you can't help but love.

Edit/grammar: If anything, perhaps a comma after the first line of the last stanza. i.e. So, tell me..,
But this is up to you. I saw no grammar errors and it reads well either way.

Favorite part: The complete poem, but mostly the first and last stanzas. Repeating lines with a little change can sometimes leave the biggest impression. Great poem!

Although I'm hungry for some crunchy tacos now, nevertheless. Take care and Welcome!

TBW
5
5
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello MK,
I’ve been meaning to review a poem of yours for a while now. Well, I read the last one titled, Clouded. I loved this short and sweet poem. But, I am reviewing this poem, A Hearts Whisper.

Overall: I can truly relate to this poem of heartbreak and anguish. So glad at first to meet this person. Then at odds with ones self for falling for them.
This is a good title, and has very good word use and descriptions for why your heart aches.

Edit/grammar: I saw no issues with either, wouldn’t change a word!

Favorite part: The 2nd and last stanzas. How your eyes strayed.., and how no one else noticed.
Also, how your heart would cease its lonely call for your name. Beautiful word choice, but also I relate to this when I was half the age I am now and I’m interested and the other person isn’t or wants to just be friends. Anyways, glad I’m not dating anymore! But for you, if that person didn’t work out. Chalk it up to experience and just know others care and love you for who you are. If it’s meant to be, it will come from Thee.

Miranda, I have noticed you always doing great things here, such as reviews and even just “liked” certain sayings in the community. So for that please accept, and don’t return any of these gift points! You’re amazing, and keep up the great work!

Love and regards,
Frank
6
6
Review of Time  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Friend,

I saw this poem in the read and review section, so here are my thoughts on this piece.

Overall: Love it! Yes, sometimes monsters are what we create in our minds and imagination.
Other times we can see monsters to a point in others we meet. You did a fine job conveying this point
across to the reader.

Edit/grammar: in the first sentence, and many more, the i should be capitalized as in line 3.
In stanza 3 I believe you meant to write
were, rhymes with her. You have where, rhymes with hair.

Favorite part: The last stanza, it has a happy ending and sounds like you are very content with your family.
It also seems as though you've made it through the tough and sad times, now it's time to enjoy and
embrace life.

Thank you for sharing, and welcome to Wdc. This is a great poem!
I'm not giving a low rating for grammar issues, and these are my thoughts only. So do with it what you want.

Take care, and stay safe.
Frank
p.s. I know sometimes my grandson seems to be a little monster! Lol
7
7
Review of Scourge  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dave,
Congratulations on placing in the contest! This a great poem and has good advice for us all.

Regards,
Frank
8
8
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Monty,
Congratulations bud! Awesome poem that really inspired me. Very uplifting and great word choice.

I will try my hardest to write a poem for the Veterans group this month.

Take care,
Frank
9
9
Review of The Soft Whisper  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello angirika,

I came across this in the Read and review section. Since I prefer poems, these are my thoughts on this piece.

Overall: Beautiful. Well written with an appropriate title, and short and sweet but full of punch!
Your word choice is very good and invites the reader
in to absorb your tale of strength and resilience. Very good job!

Grammar/punctuation: I think you use the ... too often. A period should come at the end of 6th line. me.
Line 9 I would put a hyphen at the end of this line. gave up, but then-
I would add an "s" on the end of seal. the mud that seals This is a better rhyme with heels in the previous line.

Favorite part: The whole poem, but mostly the way you tie the beginning and the end all together to complete this full circle. With a better outlook to keep on trying with determination.

I am not going to rate with a 4 and 1/2 for punctuation and grammar. These are my thoughts, you may do what you
think is right. Try reading aloud as I find this helps me.

Great job angirika!

Regards,
Frank

10
10
Review of Soliloquy  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Mira,

Well I finally made it back. I like rhyming poems, so here are my thoughts on this piece.

Overall: Absolutely love it! I like the way you have a stanza for each season and tie it all
together. Very well written, and your word choice is splendid.

Grammar/punctuation: I didn't see any issues with this. Just to say I think you meant to put a
"u" in the word sol. 2nd last line, last word.

Editions/improvement: None that I saw. But had a question. Why is there a 3 at the bottom of
the page? Also, I was wondering if you meant to have different number of lines in your stanzas.
I.e. first one has 7 lines, then 2nd stanza has 6, then 8, 7, 5, 7? Was this intentional or
no particular reason? Just wondering.

I will be fanning this poem, this shows how much I appreciate this poem.

Well done Mira! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

Regards,
Frank
11
11
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello RiverSt.James,

I saw this poem in Sophy's newsletter on Sunday, and here are my thoughts on this piece. This is my advice, you can do with it what you feel best.

Overall: Nicely written, and a true sentiment for your fiance. I'm sure he finds it peaceful and is happy with it. I also hope you have found peace and solace in your faith? Beautiful poem.

Grammar/edit: I noticed 3 issues, but may be typo's or just overlooked.
In your first line you have; Like a sparrow is soars... I believe you meant "it", or you could remove this word also. It reads well either way. If you use the word it, you'll have to put a comma after sparrow.
2nd issue was the line, dark soil is since tendrils for searching for... Here I believe you mean, it sends tendrils searching for...
3rd issue is the line, Where my lover lies lying in his bed... I would remove one of those words. either lies, or lying.
I'm sure these are oversights, I usually proofread 3 to 4 times. But I still have issues.

Favorite part: The whole poem, but mostly the lines, Where my lover lying in his bed... to the very end of the poem.
I'm giving you a 4 star rating, but if you wish I could re-rate after you have looked this over again?
I'm truly sorry for your loss, and again, this is beautiful.
Also, welcome to Writing.com! I wish you much success, there are a lot of great writers here that have helped me along the way.

Regards,
Frank
12
12
Review of Whisper  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Lunah,
I saw your poem in Sophy’s spiritual letter. These are my thoughts on this piece.
Overall; Very beautiful prayer and well written!
Grammar/edit: the only thing I believe needs attention is, “a thousand blessing, may you heel.”
I think blessing needs an ‘s’ at the end. Otherwise, it looks and reads great.
Favorite part: Fly free, no more pain, be at peace.
The whole poem is awesome Lunah! Love and peace to you and yours.

Frank
13
13
Review of Psalm of praise  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,
I am reviewing this poem, psalm of praise.

Overall: Well written with good word choices. You tell of His works, and His great love for us.

Grammar/editing: the only issue I noticed is in the last line. That is a “y” should be added to might.
How mighty is your name!

Favorite part: actually, the whole poem, but to be specific; Who are we Lord with the darkness of our hearts? Yet you would lavish us with your love.

Great job roberts89, I normally write poems, and review poems mostly.
14
14
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Rose,

First of all, welcome to the Wdc. I saw this in the read a newbie section and had to check it out. You have the same name as my wife,
and her birthday is the 19th of this month. I normally rate and review poems, but also like short
articles also. So here are my thoughts on this piece.

Title: Very good choice, it tells the writer what to expect, and the body relates well to the title.

Overall: Good word choice, I'm guessing this is a personal experience? It seems relevant to how someone should deal with the stares and glares of others judging them. Good job.

Add/Edit/ Grammar: I saw no issues with grammar, and would not change a thing to the body of this piece. The only thing I would change is in your genre descriptions. You might change to experience, personal, inspirational? Something that gives the community a little insight rather than just, other. If a person wants to highlight or find related poems or articles they use the genre section to search for related items. This is for the folks with a higher membership than you or me. I can't ding you for not filling out the genre section better though.

Favorite part: ..have to know your weaknesses to become strong. You have to accept yourself before you can ignore the words people throw at you. This speaks volumes Rose! It also shows a sign of maturity and self awareness.

Good job Rose, and I wish you much success here.
TBW
15
15
Review of Tête-à-tête  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Merrijane,
I ran across this piece in the newsletter by Sophy.
Overall;
This is a beautiful poem. It truly speaks from your heart. It shows you being open with God and letting him know you aren’t perfect for serving the family a frozen pizza. (it’s been awhile and sounds really good to me now) you are also apologetic for yelling at traffic and other things you should’ve done better. But agree to move on and ask for help with your son.
Grammar/edit; I saw no problem with grammar, no need to change a word.
Favorite part; The first stanza. Pulls you in with sippin hot cocoa and parenthood isn’t for the weak-kneed and quibble(nice word choice) over what’s worst.
This an awesome piece Merrijane! Simple, yet powerful.
16
16
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Monty,
This is a great tribute to Countrymom. Fine job my friend.
Frank
17
17
Review of I Lost My Wife  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Norman,

I saw this poem in the read and review section, so here are my thoughts.

Overall: I neglected to read the description of the poem at first. I read the first stanza and thought, "Wow, that's tough." Then as I read the next two stanzas was more intrigued. Then nearly fell over laughing reading the last stanza, as well as the final two lines. Thinking she died, instead of "lost", as in, gone astray. So, Well Done! You reel in the reader and don't let go. This is a well written poem, you did a fine job with this piece.

Edit/Grammar: I wouldn't change a word, I saw no grammar errors. However, I do wish you would use some more punctuation. You used one comma on the last line.
I would at least have added an exclamation point on the last two lines at least. Or for the meager comma at the end of line 2, and period at the end of each stanza. But to each his own, these are my thoughts.

Favorite part: The whole final stanza brings it all home, so to speak. Haha

Great one Norman!

Regards,
TBW
18
18
Review of Untitled  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, and welcome to the Wdc. I hope you find some friends here to relate to.

We have something in common. Actually my 21 year old daughter and I have anxiety also. I'm battling depression as well as other health issues beyond my reach.
I saw a different poem in the read and review section, then I seen your Untitled poem. So here is my rating and review for this poem.

Untitled-
Overall: Awesome! You have rage and anger wanting to make you do bad things. But then you rationalize that you want to make decisions for the better, or what's proper and best for you. This a good poem to help others realize that life isn't unicorns and rainbows for all young folks. (sometimes its jackasses and thunderstorms) It's good for the soul to write down how you are feeling because others can truly relate with this.Hopefully it helps benefit someone.

Edit/Grammar: I saw two small grammar issues. A comma after aggression, and the very first I isn't capitalized. You may want to change the two long lines so it is more uniform? But this isn't really a grammar issue, it's my ocd! Lol

Favorite part: There's progression in my aggression, but I am trying not to stress. This says you are angry, but your trying to cope and stay rational.

P.s. Someone on this site said a poem without a title is like a baby without a name. In my opinion, I would make it the last 3 words of the poem. Rage to rest. But whatever you decide is fine. Remember these are my thoughts so take my advice if you want to, or don't. It's your poem.
If you ever feel overwhelmed, just ask. People here are willing to help, but you have to let us know. If you reach out, we will meet you.

Take care, good luck, and keep on writing.
Regards,
Frank
19
19
Review of I Didn't Expect  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Beholden,

I can truly relate with this poem. I remember my parents always saying how time flies,
But certainly seemed to drag and take it's sweet time when you're 10. Now we're all
starting our 3rd decade of this century.

I love your lines of, passing sands through
careless fingers fall, a passing scene, lightning bolt, hidden dreams...

With age comes wisdom, to be handed down to our youth, it is hoped they listen.

Nice job,
TBW

20
20
Review of no more you and i  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Kathy,

First of all, welcome to the Wdc! I hope you enjoy your stay with us?

I noticed this in the read and review section, so here are my thoughts.

Overall: Wonderful. I bought two guitars in the past year, so I can relate to this. I can imagine you, or somebody singing this in front of a crowd. It is a rather sad and sorrowful song. But these are the feelings most of us have felt before when breaking up with someone.

Edit/Grammar: I didn't see any issues as far as grammar. The only thing I didn't care for was the cliche saying in verse 3, "And the silence was deafening!" If you had a different line there i think it would sound better. These are my thoughts, so do what you want with my advice.

Favorite part: All of verse 2, and the first 4 lines of verse 3 rock! These are some good lines for a song and/or poem.

Sending you some gift points since you're fairly new to the site. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Take care, and regards,
TBW

21
21
Review of Underestimated  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Percy Goodfellow,

I saw this poem in the read and review section, so here are my thoughts.

Overall: Wonderfully written and a happy ending make this poem awesome!
A girl asks for permission to ride a skateboard. Wherein the owner of the skateboard asks her if she's ready for the dangerous risk. She gives a simple answer to relax the owner. Thus surprising the owner by doing a great trick and blows the owners mind. Thus a very good title to this piece!

Edit/Grammar: No grammar issues, and wouldn't change a thing.

Favorite part: The final stanza. The reader, in my case, was left smiling when I finished the last line. So this is an inspirational poem as well! Nice One!

Regards,
Frank
22
22
Review of One Poem  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello winklett,

I seen this poem on the read and review section and so here are my thoughts on this piece.

Overall: Awesome write! Very ingenious to write about "the same old poem".
And to say it in a matter that at first I thought was hilarious. Then I seen the description and realized it's more tragic and torment. This would be terrible to only write the same old poem repeatedly. I love the metaphor of a needle scratching and skipping lyrics on a vinyl album!

Edit/Grammar: I saw no grammar issues, and have nothing to ad or edit. Good job!

Favorite part: "pennies camouflaged in a bronze canyon". "The needle screaming sotto voce in a whisper". Wonderful job!

Regards,
Frank
23
23
Review of Petals of love!  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Kalai,

I found this in the read and review portion of our site. Here are my thoughts about this poem. Petals of Love-

Overall: A beautifully written and heartfelt poem of a chilly wind while gazing at a flower. At first the writer is warmed by thoughts of love fighting off the cold. Then the cold comes back again, but the writer is still warmed by precious thoughts of love.

Edit/Grammar: The first half of the poem doesn't rhyme, while lines 8, 9, and 10 all rhyme together. The final 2 lines rhyme well together as well.
this doesn't really matter too much. But, personally I think could be better by rhyming the whole poem. If this wasn't your purpose then disregard. These are my thoughts only. I thought about dropping the word and* in the beginning of line 11. But I'll leave that up to you. I saw no grammar issues.

Favorite part: Blessed moments of love, unwind my chambers of heart! This speaks volumes Kalai! Love it!

Awesome poem, thanks for sharing.

Peace,
Frank
24
24
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hell jinks,
First of all welcome to WDC! Glad to have you with us. Second, I saw this poem in the Read and review section of this site. So hear are my thoughts on this piece. Do what you want with my advice.

Overall: A wonderful tribute to a very special person that is near and dear to your heart. This is also called an elegy. A poem or song for a loved one. I can tell they were close to you.

Edit/Grammar: 4th line of 2nd stanza I believe should be knew, not know.
4th line 3rd stanza should be live, not love. Unless you want to say, your legacy of love will live on...and the following line says this again. Hope that's clear and/or helps?
I saw no grammar challenges to speak of.

Favorite part: The final line, this brings everything together and gives closure.

Take it or leave it, and keep up the good work.

Peace,
Frank
25
25
Review of I'm Not Done Yet  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello R. Engels,
I seen your poem in the weekly poetry newsletter and so here are my thoughts about this poem.

Overall: Awesome write! You see yourself as not being worthy to have a good time without drugs and alcohol.
You've seen trauma and sadness and this fuels your wanting to escape and to put it behind you. After misfortunes and the psych ward you come to realize that there is something worth living for. You've stopped beating yourself up and quit drinking which makes you feel better physically. Making the end of the poem very inspirational for yourself and the others who care about you.Thus visualizing that hope and love aren't so bad thing after all.

Editions/grammar: I saw no grammar challenges. The only recommendation is the 1st stanza in the last line. I would loose the words And* and are*. The lines getting deeper... this flows better and makes all 4 lines have 11 syllables.
Even if you don't care about the meter so much, it sounds better to the ear by not using And too much.

By the way welcome to WDC! I'm sending you some gift points since you're new to this crew. You have a good gift, so I wish you well and hope you keep pouring out good poems.
This is one fine job here.

Regards,
Frank

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