|Hello Kat Von,
Overall; I really liked this poem. It's sad, but has a very poignant view.
I didn't see any grammar or punctuation problems needing attention.
Improvements; I really think this would be better if it was broken up into quatrains. every four lines would help the form. Also, line 6 and 8 don't rhyme as every other line in the poem does. If you would like, I will re-read and re-rate this piece after you have made adjustments. I'm not taking off for the 4 lines, that is my personal thought. But if you would like to edit your poem for the rhyme, I would gladly do so.
Nice write Kat, I truly enjoyed this poem. Just needs a little polishing up and will be great. I hope this helps?