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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/franksimon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
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233 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello elizjohn,

This is an awesome poem! I like the way you decribe getting lost in a poem or story in this matter. You give a vivid view of how many of us can relate to.
The only thing I didn't care for was the lack of a title. This is why my rating is a 4, would have been a 5.
A person once told me that a poem without a title is like a baby without a name.
These are my thoughts and I hope it helps you.
Wonderful job on this one, just wish it had a title.
Write On.
TBW
77
77
Review of Silent Stones  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Margaret,
I love the imagery you've used with these "Silent Stones" as tombstones.
I don't often read non-rhyming poems.But this was written very well.
I liked this poem overall and wouldn't change a thing.
TBW
78
78
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bruce,
In my opinion, this works fine. I liked the flow of the poem and the way you describe your journey for the days work.
I liked the whole poem, so don't really have a favorite. Punctuation is fine, might suggest a comma in 4th stanza in 1st line. "The engines ready, time to go."

If you prefer to add more I would suggest using or describing some of the tools in the bag bought at the store lying on the loco' floor. But I do think this stands fine by itself.

On behalf of the Copenators Crew, this is a great poem.
79
79
Review of Music to the Ears  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Tim,
I liked your poem about music. The first stanza sounded good, then the next 3 stanzas were all shorter.
I could get used to the "beat" of the poem easier. I wish the first stanza was either shorter and flowed better as the latter 3 stanzas did. Or adding to the latter 3 to make it more comparable to the first lines.

These are my thoughts on this piece. You can change it if you want, it's yours to do so with.
On a lighter note, it spoke well of how the different kinds of music may suit ones own activity at the time.
I like nearly all kinds of music, if I'm in the mood! lol Today's country sounds more like glorified pop to me.
I like older stuff, 60's and 70's mostly. To each his own, but music can cross so many boundaries!

Again, these are my thoughts, but you still did a good job Tim.

TBW
80
80
Review of "A Benny Saved"  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Harvey,
Great poem, great lines, nice ending.
I would not change a thing. I'm glad Benny was told to, "Man up," etc, and keep on trying. If not Babette, perhaps someone new. She may be out there yet. More fish in the sea and one is sure to make Benny happy.
Nice job Harvey.
TBW
81
81
Review of Dead Poets  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello PaulZ,
I like the way you've written this piece. My favorite part is the 4th stanza, And I feel alone...
I like your rhymes and meter in 6-5, except my favorite part, the 4th stanza. But this doesn't
deter from the poem.
If I were to have you change anything, it may be the word grope in last stanza.
But it does work as is. Remember it's your work, you change it if You want to.

Good write,
Frank

82
82
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Shadowstalker.
You have written, what I can't figure out how to put on paper. A very solemn and well-spoken poem.
Now I shall have to write some final elegy for my/our fallen funny man turned actor.

I would not edit this at all. I like how you tied in the halls echoing silence in the first and final stanza.
My favorite stanza is the 4th one. I don't have anything to add except to leave it alone! Lol
I read 2 other short poems that left me wanting more. This one on the
other hand, is a proper closure. Thank you for the inspiration!

Peace,
Frank
83
83
Review of This Moment  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Susan,
This piece is also set to a song, hence the lyrics label. But it is also written well. I like verse 4 and the end the most!
It is a somber piece but fills the heart with ease as the words relay to look to the future while learning from history.

Fine job Turtlemoon.
Frank
84
84
Review of Follow the Music  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Osiyo Susan,

Having trouble with our computer, pc. But this laptop is helping me finally return to review your two other items.

This is a light-hearted rhyme that easily makes the reader want to carry a tune while enjoying the words.
At first I thought the ;ast stanza was a little off on the rhyme. After reading a second time, it fits fine.

Well done, and well written.
Frank

85
85
Review of Circle  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lucy,
This review is merely my thoughts.

This is a very well written piece about love. These could be read as wedding vows.
I wouldn't change a thing. Good job.

Welcome to the WDC family! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Peace,
Frank
86
86
Review of November Rain  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Deadlegend,

These are merely my opinions, take them or leave them.
I would lose the word 'that' in the 3rd line and the question mark
at the end. Other than that, it's a dark poem that hits home!
Well written, keep up the good work and welcome to WDC!

Peace,
TBW
87
87
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi JStory,
Gotta go with the dragons dude because they have magical power according to someone. Haha Chinese I believe.
Check out the pants Jimmy Page wore with the colorful dragons in the mid 70's. (Led zeppelin)

Vampires are the bloody undead.
Hammer the stake while in bed.
Werewolves hate to see full moons.
Shoot a bullet from silver spoons
But dragons always mystify.
Spitting fire but yet also fly!

Took about 20 minutes for that rhyme. Thanks for unplugging my writers block!

Peace,
Frank
88
88
Review of My Dad  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Mara,
Welcome to the WDC family!

This story is rather poignant, and satisfying.

I did not see any grammer or punctuation that needed attention.

Overall: a wonderful story about being happy for who you are!
Keep up the great work!

Peace,
Frank
89
89
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Ginger,
Welcome to the WDC family!

This made me chuckle several times and, I feel sorry for you. Haha

When the 2nd line where the Female starts talking; "You know the one, it comes in a box."
should have a "?" after box. That's the only punctuation or spelling that needed attention
in my opinion.

Overall: A good story that was different than I expected. Keep up the good work!

Peace,
Frank
90
90
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Larry,
Welcome to the WDC family!

This list gave me a good laugh. I'm 47 and thinning on the corners. But I'm laughing while I still can.
No. 8 was my favorite other than No. 1. Great list Larry.

Peace,
Frank
91
91
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Larry,
Welcome back to WDC! It's great to have to back, from one Kansas native to another.

This is a very moving piece. Solemn, yet needs to be said. I liked your choice for words as well.
Vivid with flowing lines, you've done a wonderful job here Larry.

Again, glad to have you back! I'll be popping in to r and r some other works of yours also.

Peace,
Frank
92
92
Review of The sands of time  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked this poem overall!
From loss to losing what is nearest to you now, certainly strikes a chord. And your last stanza is superb!

This poem is in need of a little polishing up though in my opinion. The 2nd and final stanza rhyme on
lines 2 and 4, but the others don't. If you could come up with something closer, I believe this would
stand as a stronger piece. 1 more, have you thought of losing the commas and just use periods on
lines 2 and 4 of each stanza? Just a suggestion. Do what sounds good to your ear when read aloud.

Beautiful words compose this poem. It's sad but true. It is also very solemn and poignant.
Great job!

I hope this helps, and have a good weekend.

Peace,
Frank
93
93
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wonderful christo,

I love the 7 lines to the "I will" stanza. As well as the following stanza.

Overall: Wouldn't change a thing, Fine job with this piece. Great job
with the 'thread' metaphoric words.

Punctuation: Nothing to submit.

Right as rain is right!

Peace,
Frank



94
94
Review of Perfect Lilacs  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Christo,
You've done a superb job with this piece!
I can almost smell the lilac. But the rest of the meaning left me
hanging for more. This is going to be put on 'my faves' list dude!
This is one of the better poems I've read at this site.

I also enjoy a good game of disc golf. I've played 5 all over Kansas,
but nothing out of state.

I love the line, "the perfect perfume for a funeral."
I wouldn't change a thing. You have hit your mark.
Reads very well, and vivid descriptions. Again, fine job!

Peace,
Frank
95
95
Review of They Marched  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello wordgodess,
On behalf of the 40 + Group, I am giving you my review on this poem.

Overall: A quaint poem about the marching of soldiers. What ever happens
isn't revealed, adding a bit of enticement leaving the reader wanting more.
WONDERing what becomes of them is unknown. A short and sweet poem!

Structure: I like how it's written, and the rhymes are good.

Comments: I liked reading this poem. My only thought is that the word "only"
could be dropped altogether. This would help it flow better with lines 1 and 5.
(11syllables each) Line 3 has 12 syllables and the rhyme is lost with line 4.
These are merely my thoughts and comments, do as you wish for altering or
any changes made. Perhaps more reviews would help you decide as well.

This is a cool poem. I enjoyed your Acrostic form.

I hope this helps, and have a good day!

Peace,
Frank
96
96
Review of Master  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello April,
This is my review from the 40+ Group. I hope you find it helpful.

Overall: A very well written piece about love and the entanglements that come with it.
Wanting to give it away, but hurting at times by the way we are treated from it - love.

Structure: Very well written in iambic pentameter. Rhymes work evenly throughout the poem.

Comments: Nice work created here. My favorite line(s) are the whole 3rd stanza. awesome!
3rd stanza, 1st line, would you consider (with) for the word (to)? ...and cried with them to jest.

I enjoyed reading this lovely piece April! I hope you found this review helpful. Have a good one.

Peace,
Frank
97
97
Review of Missing You  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Karen,
On behalf of the 40 + Group and the rest of the WDC folks, may I welcome you to the site! I hope you enjoy your stay with us. I've met some great people here, as I'm sure you will also in due time.

Overall: (I love this poem). For a love poem it works very well. Having only the 2nd and 4th line rhyme makes
it easier to tell this story without being too mushy. Yet it still gets the point across, longing for another and awaiting your dream cycle to meet again. Nice write!

Structure: This may be the only reason for not giving a 5. But if you had some lines closer to the same as others it would flow better. ie. line 2 has 5 syllables and line 14 has 10 syllables. This doesn't really matter as I said it is very good as it is. This is just my opinion.

Comments: A strong piece, enjoyed a lot! Could be polished a little or left alone. It is still a fine read.

Favorite line: Actually the last stanza. 8, 10, 9, 10 count flows great.

This is merely my opinion Karen. See what others think. And I hope you find this helpful.

Peace,
Frank
98
98
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Chelsea,
What a fine poem about "true love". Fairy tale romance is just that, not true. Without the trials of going through the numbers, if you will, one shall never find the "soulmate" for life. To find out likes and dislikes, (faith, food, fashion, politics, to name a few) of Mr./Miss perfect, one learns more with each relationship. Some merely settle.
Ok, I'll step down off my soap box now.
Overall: I think this is a great poem. You explain rather easily and succinctly in a few lines that there is no such thing as a perfect world.

Structure: Short and sweet and to the point. This flows like a river, good job!

Comments: Perhaps if anything, change the semi-colon to a period in the 2nd stanza. Other than that, I would not change a thing!
As always, this is merely my opinion. See what others think before changing anything.
I really enjoyed this piece.

Peace,
Frank
99
99
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Cassie,
You have a very nice poem here! I love your imagery with this piece. The dark and grey, (2nd line of each stanza)
or death. To green and light, ("new branches" and " forest so lush" or rebirth.

Overall: A very good poem that's easy to read with good meter. The only fault I see is the rhyme of "left" and "death". A slant rhyme in my opinion, but with the other lines put together so well. This is the only reason for not giving a 5 rating.

Structure: It works. With an 8-10-2 stanza count, could be polished up for say an 8-8-4 but this is ok.

Comments: Cassie you have done a wonderful job here. Take my opinion with a dash of salt!
See what others say first before considering changing anything. I enjoyed reading this very much!

My favorite lines are 1 thru 6 in the 2nd stanza. This speaks of human nature as well as mother nature.

Welcome to the site and have a good day! I think you have great potential in your future. Will try to get back to
view some of your illustrations.

Peace,
Frank
100
100
Review of Stirring  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jackie,
Overall: I think you have a fine poem here. My only thought is the title could be redefined. I truly like the way you
describe the one ray of sunshine trying to break through in the first stanza. As well the 2nd stanza in which you
describe the water washing over to renew again.

Structure: This form works well with the reader not being lost in the "grey". But rather enjoying the feeling as the sun and the rain cascades and rejuvenates the soul.

Comments: I only wish there was more! But this is sweet and inviting as the title doesn't imply.
A very fine write Jackie! Hope this helps.
These are only my thoughts and opinions. The ear and heart delight in this piece!

Peace,
Frank
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