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1
1
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there,

I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account anniversary review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

My first impressions of your piece: For a first attempt at poetry, this is quite a meaty subject to tackle.

The title: This title simply tells the reader exactly what they are about to read. Nothing else to do but keep reading

The piece overall: For a first poem, this is excellent. I read it in my head and out loud and it flowed very well indeed. The imagery along with the combination of calmness and slight anger bubbling up works really well. I love the way you repeated the third line of each stanza as if to stamp down the point.

What caused me problems, and why: I stumbled quite a lot on this line:

The x-rays and ultra sound techs are sweet and calm

It just felt too wordy for me and disrupted the flow slightly. What about removing 'x-rays and'...?

Final comments: I hope this wasn't your final attempt at poetry, too. It is great!

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



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2
2
Review of Soothe  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there,

I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account anniversary review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

The title: 'Soothe' is a lovely title for a music genre piece. I immediately found myself wanting to be soothed to sleep by some beautiful music.

The piece overall: You're right senryu is definitely not the easiest poetry form to write. However, by my reckoning, you've nailed it! I love this because the first two lines take you on a journey of wonder, then the final line seems to answer all the questions. Perfect word choices, too.

The technical details (spelling, grammar, scientific or historical details), etc.: Perfect

What I loved about this work, and why: I almost felt as if I could hear the music as I was reading the poem. Impressive.

Final comments: Thank you for the read and well done on the awesome work!

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



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3
3
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account anniversary review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

My first impressions of your piece: You did well to convey such strong emotions in just 55 words.

The title: This intrigued me. I wondered, first, whose last full moon it was. I had to read on!

The piece overall: I'm always impressed by any micro stories. Is that what they're called? I'm not sure. Nevertheless, you did a great job of getting over how this mother was feeling and her hopes. As a reader, I knew exactly what was going on and what she was waiting for. You used the final few words to send a powerful message, too. Great work!

The technical details (spelling, grammar, scientific or historical details), etc.: I only have two very minor corrections:
'would be' *Left* there is a double space there
'bright' *Left* possibly consider using 'brightly' instead

What caused me problems, and why: I stumbled a bit with the two uses of "full moon" so close together. I tried hard to think of an alternative but I couldn't. I'm sure you did, too.

Final comments: I really enjoyed this and I'm about to take another wander through your port to see what other treasures I can find *Smile*

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



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4
4
Review of Sole Survivor  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there,

I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account anniversary review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions, and you may feel free to use or discard them.

The title: Great title, which allows the reader to realise immediately they're about to read a unique story that could not be told without this person.

The plot: I don't think there is a plot, per se. This is more of an autobiographical description of someone's final day of life. This is not at all what I expected, but I think it was done incredibly well, indeed. It is unusual to have a piece told from a zombie's point of view. I loved it: I had a real "huh! Look at that moment".

The characters: I felt the weariness and emotions of this, single, character. I felt as though I was there, seeing what they saw. This is not easy to do, so well done.

The technical details (spelling, grammar, scientific or historical details), etc.: There were no spelling mistakes that I could see. The main thing I could see was quite a few missing commas. I don't want to drown this review by pointing them all out. But if you would like me to do so, please drop me an email and I'd be happy to.

What I loved about this work, and why: I think, as a writer, you have a fantastic vocabulary and know how to use it. Your ability to "show" the reader your character's world is excellent.

What caused me problems, and why: Apart from the missing commas, nothing!

Final comments: Please keep up the awesome writing.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



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5
5
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and towards completing challenges over at "Battle for the Badges - CLOSED *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:

The ROAK group and, indeed, logo are well known across WDC. Therefore, this title tells members all they need to know.

The best bits:

I've always been a big fan of RAOK and can't believe I haven't reviewed this before.
The page is simple, clutter free and as straight forward as it gets. I appreciate this and really don't think it should be anything else.
I really like the way everything connected to RAOK is laid out here, in one place, making it unnecessary for people to have to go searching for whatever they might be looking for.

I love RAOK and should be making a sizeable donation in the near future *Delight*


Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any things to point out here. That's impressive as I normally find even tiny things to comment on

That said, however, I would encourage the provision of more details regarding how members can donate to RAOK. This would be useful for members who struggle with the concept of using group numbers to send GPs from their banks.



I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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6
6
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and towards completing challenges over at "Battle for the Badges - CLOSED *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:

There are a few articles in this Newsletter that I am looking forward to reading. However, this one jumped out at me because, one day, I hope to "share my story". Therefore, this was of particular interest to me.

My overall thoughts:

I'm very glad I read this article. I have delved into the world of Ancestry.com before and did, indeed, find myself engrossed for periods of time. However, it is not something I keep up with now. Reading this forced me to consider that, perhaps, it *should* be something I kept up with.
The article shouts "passion" to the reader with it's words. Indeed, we get to share in someone's joy and love for researching their family history! A very well written piece! *Delight*

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Idea* Here: “myself in New Zealand and the wife of my fourth cousin in England.” – I recommend the use of two commas. One after New Zealand and one after ‘cousin’. Like so – “myself in New Zealand, and the wife of my fourth cousin, in England.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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7
7
Review of Tales of Terror  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and towards completing challenges over at "Battle for the Badges - CLOSED *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:

The title for this contest is perfect. It tells the writer exactly what they are about to look at and what will probably be required to enter.

My overall thoughts:

This looks like a straightforward contest for those who enjoy writing horror/gothic stories. Personally, I am not a great horror story writer, the genre is out of my comfort zone. However, if a new round opened, I might be tempted to challenge myself.

I love the graphics used here! They look great and definitely add to the eeriness of the contest. Five stars for appearance, for sure!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

As a WDC veteran, I had no trouble accessing or finding my way around the contest - I could tell where the links were and I could read into the information given in order to work out what might be required. Unfortunately, however, I am unsure whether there is enough clarity here for it to be accessible to everyone.
I only say this because I run a lot of activities, and even with the clearest detail I still get mountains of questions & requests for help - especially from newer members.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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8
8
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and towards completing challenges over at "Battle for the Badges - CLOSED *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:

I've always loved this contest title. Probably because cramp is what I get whenever I decide to enter. If I spot a prompt I like, I have to get cracking straight away. Otherwise, I walk away and end up forgetting!

The best bits:

To be honest, I can't believe I haven't reviewed this before! I was so sure I had - but obviously I was wrong. At least I am getting to it now.

This a great daily contest that writers can dip in and out of, without feeling committed. Sure, I have no doubt that you get regulars. But I am sure you also get a lot of people like me too: people that pop along while looking for inspiration for their next story or poem.
The information and rules surrounding the contest are clear and concise, as well as fair. Your add on item ("How to Enter the Writer's Cramp) makes this even more true.
The daily prize is generous and the prompts are incredibly varied. Not all writers will like the prompts every day. However, everyone is bound to find something at some point.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

I wouldn't change the contest at all. However, I do often wonder how many more entries you'd get if you offered a
Merit Badge incentive as well. Either 10,000GPs OR a MB, perhaps. Or maybe "enter X times in a month and get a MB" ... Just a thought.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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9
9
Review of The Hope Chord  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of the House of Hightower team

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
Yes! We're getting closer. As I've said in my previous two reviews; I'm quite picky when it comes to titles and item descriptions. This is purely because I think they set the scene for the reader as they choose whether to open your title or not.
Here, you are very nearly perfect. If you're item's description simply said "Hope is possible!" it'd be spot on. The reader doesn't need to know what an item is written for, until later.

The best bits:

I think this is a great poem with an inspiring message. A message that I try my hardest to live by: don't give up! I really like the way you have made good use of the key words you were working from (in bold). Impressive writing.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Again, all I'd say here is that the poem feels ever so slightly too wordy. The great thing about poetry is that you do not need to use all the words you'd usually use in a normal sentence - as long as the poem's message is not lost. Therefore, when writing words like 'the', 'and', 'then'... ask yourself if they add anything significant.
I say this again because, sometimes, even just one too many words can affect a poem's flow. Reading through, I found 9 words that I didn't feel added anything other than slight stumbling blocks.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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10
10
Review of The Night Light  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of the House of Hightower team

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
I've just reviewed another of your poems. In that review I mentioned that having other info along side the title may not draw readers in. This time, your title is perfect - I saw it and wanted to know more.
You're item's description, however, disappoints. I wish it told me more about the item I was about to read, rather than what it was written for. For example, something as simple as "God's marvellous Night Light leads the way" in the item's description would probably attract more readers.

The best bits:
I like the concept of this poem. A search for light, waiting for the world's darkness to part. It sounds eerie but also gives the reader a sense of hope,
You've used some great words to paint a picture with this poem. I think my favourites are "tendrils of luminosity." Very good, indeed.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

All I'd say here is that the poem feels too wordy. The great thing about poetry is that you do not need to use all the words you'd usually use in a normal sentence - as long as the poem's message is not lost. Therefore, when writing words like 'the', 'and', 'then'... ask yourself if they add anything significant.
Additionally, the last line of the poem is far too long and does not match the rest of the poem. In fact, I believe it could be transformed into several lines by itself. Like so:
The trail is again visible and off you trod,
Continuing on your way.
God's marvellous NIGHT LIGHT leads the way.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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11
11
Review of Storm  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of the House of Hightower team

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
Personally, these two things draw me into reading an item. However, with this piece I don't feel convinced. "Storm" is the poem's title and it should be left as such. You already tell the reader what type of poem it is in the item's body, you don't need it here too. In fact, for me, the word 'storm' is quite powerful, but here the power is almost lost.
I'd say exactly the same for the item's description. I want to know why I should read an item - I need to be hooked in - I don't think I was. Instead, if it were me, I'd say something like "The Lord shows us He is here".

The best bits:
All in all, I think this is a very nice, simple poem. I like the way there appears to be two thoughts coming through, drawn together by a simple word: yes! indeed, I see someone searching for reassurance that the Lord is around, and then the Lord is sensed within a storm.
However, I find myself asking if this is a positive: does the storm bring reassurance or just more doubt. Tricky. You've done a great job of making me, the reader, think.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

My only real concern comes with the classification of the poems form: Butterfly Oddquain. Officially, the syllable count should be: 1-3-5-7-1-7-5-3-1. However, by my count, this poem stands at: 1-4-4-7-1-8-6-3-1. Therefore, I would suggest minor editing to allow the poem to fit the form correctly.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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12
12
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of "a very Wodehouse challenge

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
These tell me that this is an article about love letters. I though this what be interesting as it is somewhat of a lost art. There are not many love letters flying around these days. Makes me wonder whether we should make more effort in this area.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
I love the way you have used personal experiences to highlight the importance of certain components of a love letter. This makes the reader more able to relate to your guidelines and understand how you, yourself, use them.
The article is full of useful advice that anyone could use if they were lost for words or wanted to write a love letter but didn't know how. You use of bold text really helps to path out the process for the reader.
Other than the few errors I highlight below, there is very little to worry about in terms of content and skill. However, I would like to recommend that you look at your paragraph lengths. One paragraph in particular is 335 words long - nearly a page long. For ease of reading, shorter paragraphs are often best.

You have inspired me to try and write a love letter to my husband. So, thank you!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “The obvious one. The theme…” – here I would combine these two sentences with the use of a colon. Like so: “The obvious one: The theme…”

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “I did about our story, specifically…” – I recommend using a semi-colon instead of a comma here.

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “You will see not only…” there needs to be a comma after the word ‘see’

*Flowerw* Typo: “old fashioned” should be hyphenated. Like so: “old-fashioned”

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “…are individual, hand picked…” – I recommend using a semi-colon instead of a comma here.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: Just because I can really *Wink*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
I always enjoy reading your blog post and find you to be quite an insightful blogger. I like the way you always answer multiple prompts/questions, or cover lots of issues within every post. This means there is always a good read on the cards. Your titles are often intriguing and make me want to read more.
You are very good at using colour to highlight or separate prompts. I often think bloggers should make more use of pictures to add emphasis to their discussions. But this is the only recommendation I'd make *Bigsmile*

Again, I really enjoy reading your blog and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of the "a very Wodehouse challenge

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
A title that is sure to lure every writer into wanting to read this item

The best bits and my overall thought:
This is a well-written and informative article that is sure to be of use to any writer who wants to become a published author.
It is clear that the information in this article comes from knowledge and experience. Despite a few errors I found (highlighted below), the article is presented very well, indeed. The details are clear, concise and the use of colours highlights important parts for the reader.

I found this article useful and will be sure to refer back to it if I am ever ready to publish.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Here: “…that I think your readers will really like,” – You don’t need a full stop after the word ‘like’ because, although it is the end of the quote, it is not the end of the sentence.

*Flowerw* Typo: I think the word ‘byline’ should be hyphenated – “by-line

*Flowerw* Typo: a space is needed after this full stop – “…if necessary.For…”

*Flowerw* Spelling error: the word ‘preferrably” should be spelt: “preferably

*Flowerw* Here: “Don’t say “Mary DoGood…” a comma is needed after the word ‘say’, as always when presenting dialogue.

*Flowerw* Typo: a space is needed in between these words ‘maycall” – “A publishing firm may call to tell you they would like to…

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “Keep in mind,” – I think there should be a semicolon instead of a comma here.

*Flowerw* Punctuation: “…editorial group which publishes…” - there needs to be a comma before the word ‘which’.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx
15
15
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item that ~A.J. Lyle~ bought for you.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
I love the title of this because I don't think I'd ever thought of letter writing as an art. But I suppose you're right, writing a engaging letter is an art. So, it seems, you've made me think just by your choice of title!

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
My first observation is that this item is full of questions. Therefore, you are spending the whole article inviting your readers to think and consider their choices. All too often we, as a society, look for the easy option. it is easier to text than it is to send a letter. Thus, the majority of us will just send a one line text. As such, I love the way you challenge this way of thinking and invite others to change.
I also like the fact that you have written in a conversational tone. So, whilst you are challenging your readers, you do so in a way they will feel comfortable with. As a result, the reader will be more likely to agree with you because you are not forcing it on them or preaching. Clever work! *Wink*

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Here: “Big news, small news, the sort you'd share…” – I think you need an ‘and’ to indicate the last item on a list. Like so: “Big news, small news, and the sort you'd share…”

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon.


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16
16
Review of Gnome Sweet Gnome  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket Gaby bought for you from "Invalid Item

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
The title is a nice play on words that indicate that this might be a nice and interesting story to read. The description helps to draw a reader in too.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
This story is full of humour, which I love. I really enjoyed the way your main character changes from being stressed to find her house wrecked, to thinking "huh, I can deal with this!"
Your use of dialogue is great. It really adds to the story, and its humour, using the very few words you have rather effectively.
I find myself wanting to know how the gnomes came alive in the first place. But this is the only thing I feel is missing.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Here: “Come on, settle down.” – for some reason, the comma doesn’t sit well with me. I’d recommend using an exclamation mark to break up this sentence into two. Like so: “Come on! Settle down.”

*Flowerw* This sentence: “Garden gnomes who have apparently taken over my house to watch the Super Bowl.” - Is a sentence fragment. To fix this, I would simply use a comma after the word ‘gnomes’.

*Flowerw* Typo: “Sleepy ,who...” – there is a space in the wrong place. You meant: “Sleepy, who…”

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for:

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
The title makes me think that this story might be about a small child at Christmas. Again, the description just tells us what the item was written for, rather than an insight into what we are about to read. I, personally, quite like descriptions that make me want to read more.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
As you can tell from my comment above, this story wasn't quite what I expected it to be. However, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. It just proves to us that we shouldn't judge a story by its title. It also adds to the element of surprise!
You did a great job of describing the scene in the shopping mall and your use of dialogue makes the story flow even better.
In this tale you effectively demonstrate that ideas can come from out of thin air and can develop quickly, just like it did for your main character. Great work!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Typo: the word “marvelous” ought to have two ‘L’s – “marvellous”.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket Gaby bought for you from "Invalid Item

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
The title made me smile as I'm pretty sure everyone, at one time or another, has dreaded going to a work related party. The description just tells us what the item was written for, rather than an insight into what we are about to read. I, personally, quite like descriptions that make me want to read more.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
This is a short and sweet story about a type of event the majority of people are not keen on. Although you had a tight word limit, you managed to get a lot in and successfully described a host of different characters.
I loved the way the main character spoke of their colleagues with a distaste that added a nice hint of humour to the story. I also liked that a friendship (maybe more?) was eventually made, giving the reader a happy ending to smile about.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* Here: “I dreaded going since the memo came out” – I would add in the word ‘had’, like so: “I had dreaded going since the memo came out”. I know you were tight on words, but you had 8 words left to play with so you have room.

*Flowerw* The words ‘store room’ can actually be made into one word: “storeroom”.

*Flowerw* These sentences: “…in the corner. The drama queens…” – I would combine the two into one with the use of a semi-colon. Like so: “Sandy and Marsha were crying in the corner; the drama queens at their best.”

*Flowerw* Here: “Just what I didn’t need.” – I would consider punctuating this with a exclamation mark instead of just a full stop – “Just what I didn’t need!”

*Flowerw* The words “mail room” can also be made into one word: “mailroom”.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon.


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19
19
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: You were below me in the "I write..." contest, so I thought I'd pop over and review your work :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title suggest that you may have already written about your reasons for not writing. I'm intrigued - I might go looking for more.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
This is a quirky little poem that allowed a smile to rise to my lips. It easily brings about images of a student sat in a classroom trying to listen to a teacher drone on about boring theory, but instead find themselves doodling any yawning. If this was the intention of the poem, it was very successful.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

I'm quite a newbie to the haiku/senryu world, but I have been trying over recent months to get to grips with it. From my limited knowledge, I would suggest that the full stop and comma used here are not needed. I would say the same for the capitalisation of letters. I found this on the Shadow Poetry website and thought it might help:

The majority of haiku/senryu do not use capitalisation and use minimal punctuation (though you may see a few who do this). Periods are not used, and the only thing capitalised are months or holidays. However, many do not capitalise anything. Periods close in the haiku/senryu, so are to be avoided. Haiku/senryu should left open ended, almost unfinished.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was purchased for you by an anonymous member.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
Nice title that doesn't give too much way but sounds like it might belong to a nice item. The same goes for the description, it sounds almost poetic.

The best bits and my overall thoughts:
Yoy note at the start of the item that this is a non-fictional tale. Therefore, I'm not going to say I like this because it is sad. But I will say that it is written really well. The way you describe the scenes is enjoyable to read. You've used words that can easily be imagined as we go.

Having said that, I think the first half of this story (the introduction in particular) is better than the second. I know the second half has more dialogue. However, if you were able to bulk it out with more description of whats happening, this would be an excellent piece.

I will return soon to read the second part.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Flowerw* The word “gynecologist" should be spelt “gynaecologist”.

*Flowerw* This sentence: The organ it will be pushed through, will not develop properly.” – doesn’t quite make sense. I wonder whether this would be better: 1

*Flowerw* The word “newborn” is usually hyphenated – “new-born”


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


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Footnotes
1  “The organ will be pushed through, It will not develop properly.”



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21
21
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: Thank you and congratulations for successfully completing your Comedy project as part of "Merit Badge Projects. I thoroughly enjoyed wandering through your work. I hope you enjoyed doing it. I will attempt to send you a review very soon
Please come back and do another project soon! x

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Great title that made all sorts of questions enter my head when I first saw it.

The best bits and overall comments:
This is an incredibly well-written story. You were going for comedy, and that is definitely what you produced. I couldn't help but smile throughout the whole tale. Even though This story is ridiculous and just would not happen in real life, the way you have written it makes the reader feel like they are reading a true story.
This is so good it seemed like it should belong to a series of crazy food related stories.
As I say below, there are no mistake that jump out at me. Therefore, this is clearly a very well edited piece of work that I really enjoyed reading.

Keep up the good work.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any thing to point out here. I tried to find something I would change but I couldn't. Great job!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Awesome job! See you can write!
This took you just 15 minutes! Imagine what you could do if you put your mind to it. A little bit off free writing every day will help you take your mind off all the things you think you need to worry about but actually don't at all.

Learn to escape... its amazing.

Well done you! *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of No U-Turn  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
I'm interested in all things goal-setting and inspiration so I was intrigued by the "No U-turn" concept.

The best bits and my overall opinions:
Apart from the few minor mistakes I highlight below, this piece was very well written. You managed to get all your thoughts across in a coherent and easy to understand way. I liked the way you explained why you felt you needed to take on this no u-turn policy. And actually, the concept is a good one - very well explained too. Self-analysis is not always easy to get down in words, but you did a good job!
As I say, my corrections are laid out below. The minor errors are the only reason I gave 4.5 not 5.

Reading this, I was able to relate a lot of it to myself. Therefore, as well as reviewing your writing, I wanted to offer you some tips. I too struggle with goal-setting - I make giant lists and if I don't tick everything off, I get annoyed at myself. I also drive a lot for work so once I've driven for 3 hours plus the job I went to do, I've run out of time for anything else. I'm also disabled and suffer with pain, I try not to let it bug me bug sometimes its hard. So, here are my tips (feel free to use or ignore):

*Note2* Driving: get a voice recorder (dictaphone). I'm not saying you'll be able to record a whole book ready to be typed up later. Bu use it to record ideas, quotes, snippets of stories that come to mind. Hitting record/stop should be ease and wont take you attention away from the road.
*Note2* Being hard on yourself: On my laptop desktop I have an image of a quote from an author called Sue Fitzmaurice. I refer to it a lot, and it goes like this: "Stop beating yourself up. And stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up. And stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up for beating yourself up. Sheeeesh!"
*Note2* Goal-setting: many of us think goal-setting is just writing down a goal and saying "yup, that what I want to do" and then walking away. It's not! Its about writing down the goal and working out exactly how to do it. Think of a pizza *Pizza* ...
You never get a whole pizza and push it into your mouth as one bit. It's impossible - too big and too messy. Many of the goals we set, might look small on paper, but really they probably need a few goes. So we need to slice up our goals just like a pizza. So, next time you have a goal-setting session, here's what I suggest:
Grab a bit of A4. At the top, write down one goal. Under that, draw the shape of a pizza (so, a circle with lines through it for slices). In each slice, write one thing that would be a step towards your goal. So, if you want to achieve something by the end of the week, draw 7 slices - one for each day. Or, if its a 6 month goal, one slice per month, etc. Breaking up goals this way, just makes it a little bit easier to think about what needs doing to get to the end point.

I hope this makes sense and you don't mind me sharing these things. You piece just made me think of all this so I wanted to share.


Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Note0* The word ‘jewelry’ is spelt ‘jewellery’

*Note0* Here: “a long-undiagnosed broken vertebrae” – I think this should be: “a long-undiagnosed broken vertebra” – singular. OR “long-undiagnosed broken vertebrae” – plural without the ‘a’.

*Note0* Here: “Roseanne Barr when she said that…” – I don’t think you need the word ‘that’ – “Roseanne Barr when she said…

*Note0* Here: “Personal Power program when he said” – a comma would be good after the word ‘said’.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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24
24
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Who doesn't love a party? Especially a WDC party!! *Bigsmile*

The best bits and my overall comments:
I always love party central and think it is such an amazing idea! I sometimes miss contests or activities because I don't know they are there, then at the last minute I think "ohh I wish I'd done that". But with these, you can flick through and work out what you want to take part in and work out timings from there. There is always such a huge range and its so well ordered

I love how colourful and attractive it is too! It almost entices me to visit every day, just so the bright colours can lift my spirits for the day.

Improvements or corrections:
As if I could ever fault any of your creations!
Sometimes, I wonder whether more use of Dropnotes might be useful so there's less to scroll through. However, I think this would probably lead to things being missed and take away from the colourful party atmosphere!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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25
25
Review of Meditation Room  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
I was intrigued as these two seemed to contradict each other and I wanted to know how that turned out!

My overall opinion:
Yes, you're right, this is a little disgusting. But, this piece did make me smile, so you get points for that.
Your use of vocabulary is excellent here, you did a great job of finding awesome describing words to really add to the imagery of your story. However, there were one or two points where I felt you were being, perhaps, too flamboyant with your wording and were trying a little too hard. But that's just me!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

*Note2* The word “slumpy” troubles me. Mainly because I don’t see it as a real word. Perhaps, “slumped” would work better?

*Note2* I’m slightly curious as to what a “banana-q” is.

*Note2* Here: “the message of my best friend…” Maybe ‘from’ instead of ‘of’? “the message from my best friend”

*Note2* “Facebook” is the name of something so it ought to be capitalised.

*Note2* I wonder whether here: “But then slowly my breathing…” it might be worth changing the word ‘slowly’ to gradually. In my mind, it works better. Effectively, you’re saying that your breathing slowly sped up, or became harder. In a way, this could be a contradiction. But, the use of ‘gradually’ may divert attention from the contradiction. “But then gradually my breathing…”

*Note2* Here: ““This is stupid!" I don’t want to end my life like this. Someone please help me!” I screamed in despair...” - you have a few rogue quotation marks and I’m not 100% sure where they are meant to go.

Nevertheless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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