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26
26
Review of Twins Piqued  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: Thank you for your entry to the "Merit Badge Projects" . This is a great effort for the Dialogue Badge.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
Together these suggest to me that this is a story about twin brothers. By itself, the title is interesting and mysterious.

My overall thoughts:
To start with, I didn't quite know what was going on in this piece. But once it became clear, I couldn't help but smile. This short story really tickled me and I could imagine something like this really happening between a set of twins.
You chose a great concept here, and even managed to get another, non-speaking, character involved. Other than right at the start, this story was easy to follow and enjoyable.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: "Yeah, Mitch. Yeah, okay. Let it go. I'll let it go." – the comma after the word ‘yeah’ fragments the sentence. Therefore, it doesn’t need to be there: "Yeah Mitch. Yeah, okay. Let it go. I'll let it go."

Again here: "Because tomorrow is Mom's birthday, and you can't kill me on the night before Mom's birthday…” - the comma after the word ‘birthday’ (the first one) fragments the sentence. Therefore, it doesn’t need to be there: "Because tomorrow is Mom's birthday and you can't kill me on the night before Mom's birthday…”

The very last line has a small typo in the form of a misplaced apostrophe: “Tha'ts it!”

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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27
27
Review of Five Minutes  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ' ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you from "Invalid Item"  with the message 'Thanks for bidding on my item in the "P.E.N.C.I.L."  auction.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
I definitely drawn in by these when wandering through your port. I found myself really wanting to know what this vet could achieve in not very much time.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A veteran make a deal with Death that when his time comes, he'll be granted 5 minutes of extra time. He uses it to save his co-workers from being killed themselves.

My overall thoughts:
I was a little confused to start because it wasn't completely clear that the character in the present was describing the past. It became clear, but not immediately.
This is a nice story about what someone could do with just an extra five minutes in their life. Saving someone else's life when he knows his life is over - a nicely conveyed message.
I enjoyed this story because, even though it was about death, it was oddly uplifting. I had some trouble with the story's structure as the punctuation felt a little haphazard. This is nothing that cannot be worked on, however. Indeed, I've made a few suggestions below.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.
All my suggestions are highlighted in bold blue to make them easier to follow.

I think “down-payment” should just be two words rather than hyphenated: “down payment”

However, I think “fully grown” does need to be hyphenated: “fully-grown”

The same goes for “co-worker” – It should be hyphenated: “co-worker”

When using dashes in a sentence (i.e. “…shot into José’s back- I mean…”) There should be a space before and after.

Here: “The blast sent me into the wall, and I collapsed- still, I felt no pain.” – I think this needs a few alterations. I recommend two separate sentences, like so:

“The blast sent me into the wall and I collapsed.” (No comma after the word ‘wall’).
“Still, I felt no pain.” (This is a good sentence by itself, no dash needed)

I enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Review of Whispering Walls  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item"  that you bought with the gift certificate from Princess Zelda .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and Description:
The title sounds spooky and makes me want to know what the walls are whispering. The description definitely tells me that something is going to happen to the none believing man. I want to know more!

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Flint unknowingly returns to the place he killed all his friends. He always returns on Friday the 13th in an attempt to disprove the Friday the 13th curse but as it turns out HE is the curse. This has been going on for over 200 years so the reader assumes Flint is actually dead.

The best bits:
I'm only just reviewing this now because I assumed I had already read it, I obviously hadn't so I apologise for taking so long!
As with all your short stories, certainly all the ones I've read, you've made excellent use of dialogue. This enables you to make the most of your limited word count and cram a lot in to under 1000 words!
This is a great response to the prompt you were given. Although, I am left wondering whether Flint stayed this time or if he managed to leave again...

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel. The corrections I do make are highlighted in bold blue.

Here:: “…where a house, erected by Gustov Matheson in the 1800s stood. A museum of sorts.” – I wonder whether a colon might be useful here to avoid a fragment sentence. For example: “…where a house, erected by Gustov Matheson in the 1800s stood: a museum of sorts”

Here: “"Yes, we know. Expecting again. This time a boy." – I’d recommend the use of a comma after the word time: “Yes, we know. Expecting again. This time, a boy."

Here: “The same worn out story every year on Friday the 13th.” – I’d recommend breaking up this sentence with a comma after the word ‘year’ – “The same worn out story every year, on Friday the 13th.” It just reads better to me

Here: “And something much worse. Charred flesh. His charred flesh.” – you have three sentences here, where you only really need one. I think it’s to add drama. But personally, I’d use both a colon and a comma: “And something much worse: charred flesh, his charred flesh.”



I enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: Thank you for your entry to the "Merit Badge Projects" . This is a great effort for the Computer Badge.

As you can probably tell from "Note: *runs in excitedly* I've just read...", I LOVE this! Your story is so creative and really makes the most of the prompt you were offered. All the details, throughout the whole piece, were spot on. Once I realised the direction this story was going in, I couldn't stop smiling.

Thank you very much for featuring me in this story - this made me smile too. I'm sure blue jellybaby will feel the same *Bigsmile*

Thank you very much for the read. And well done! xx




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30
30
Review of Guide Letter  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: Thank you for your entry to the "Merit Badge Projects" . This is a great effort for the Guide Badge.

Gosh, all these letters to guides are making me feel very humble and honoured. Why? Because I've been given the opportunity to read some truly beautiful words, written to people who have changed people's lives. These people, the guides, may never know the difference they have made. But I think its great when we are able to see, understand and accept that without them, success would have been much much harder. I didn't write a guide letter myself, but after reading yours (and many others) I feel inspired to do so.

Most people wrote letters to family members, so yours is quite different. But I think yours is somewhat more valuable. Families are, for the most part, always there to guide us - it their job. But a work colleague does not have to become our guide - they choose to take the time to do so. I'm glad someone took the time for you

This is beautifully written and I really enjoyed reading your letter. I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review of To My Children  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: Thank you for your entry to the "Merit Badge Projects" . This is a great effort for the Guide Badge.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Thank you so much for allowing me to read this letter you your children. It was lovely to get a snippet of an insight into your wonderful relationships.
I love the line about your "four legged children". This really encapsulate the notion that all families are different yet they all function. Function in a way that works for them.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item"  that you won at the "Invalid Item"  raffle.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Great title that definitely drew me in and made me want to read on

The best bits:
I was disappointed that this wasn't complete. You did a great job of laying the foundations for the story and introducing us to the main character (I assume), Jolene.
This is a very intriguing start to a longer story, which I really hope you are working to continue. If not, get to it. Your "cliff-hanger" makes me want to read on!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “fireplace which” - you need a comma after fireplace – “fireplace, which”

Same here: “blood which” – generally speaking, there should always be a comma after the word which – “blood, which”.

Here: “gasp, but, he’s our son!” – I think you only need one comma before the word but, not after – “gasp, but he’s our son!”

Here: “She looked into his eyes, they were different.” – instead of the comma, I think a semi-colon would work better – “She looked into his eyes; they were different.”

Here: “a devote catholic” – do you mean devout?

Here: “The funeral was to held today” – you’re just missing the word be – “The funeral was to be held today…”


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
33
33
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: image:1940843-50%} This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item"  that you won at the "Invalid Item"  raffle.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
This kind of title was bound to capture my attention. Just by looking at the title it stuck me as the kind of thing I would write. In fact, it has similar messages to "Invalid Item" 

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Difference doesn't equal freak or inferior. Acceptance is needed.

The best bits:
As I say, this is similar to things I'd write. Therefore, I love the messages portrayed in this poem. You've used very few words to get across a very important message: do not judge me because I'm different. Your attitude to life comes out in your words and it's a great attitude to have!
In reality, everyone is different. It's just that society tends to not look beyond the surfice.

Excellent work!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

This is a free verse poem so you have scope to do whatever you like with it. I wonder whether it'd be worth looking carefully to see if there were words you could lose to make it flow slightly better. For example, this stanza:

In the end as I soar high and
achieve my dreams and dance
and rejoice, I look behind me and
I see you. Different- as you have not
progressed into the world of acceptance.

If I was to edit it, I might consider something like:

In the end, I soar high.
Achieve my dreams,
dance and rejoice.
I look behind; I see you.
Different:
you have not progressed
into the world of acceptance.



I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I always enjoy looking through people's images, if I can. I find that sometimes images can help you to get to know a little more about the person behind the words. Mind you, you have a wide range of them here that I am not sure which stand out the most. I think, if I had to choose, I would say my favourite image is: "ANOTHER OLDWARRIOR SIG" . I really love this one because it is highly creative whilst clearly portraying things that are important to you.

I also like the fact that you have photos of yourself here too. This enables us to put a face to the word, so to speak. I really appreciate this.

What I would say, however, is that because this folder is a visual one, I think it would benefit from a cover image to make it more eye catching. This is a relatively new option, but makes a great addition to a folder or item.

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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35
35
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I really like the concept of this photo album - it's a fantastic idea. To me, I love the thought of lots of items in your port being linked together, interwoven if you like.
It is great that each photo comes with a description. I am guilty of being too lazy to title or describe photos when I upload them online, but I really think it adds to the interest and intrigue. Furthermore, I really appreciate the fact that many of the pictures are linked to your written work. It is exciting to be able to understand where your inspiration stems from and then to see what it produces.

Great work. Please do keep it up!

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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36
36
Review of Children's Corner  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I must be honest and tell you that, as yet, I have not read every single word of every item in this port. Not in great detail anyway. However, I have had a good look round. I have to say, I enjoyed what I saw! I like the range of different items you have on offer here. From poetry, short stories, longer stories and even an image, too. It is a great display of your ability to show versatility in your work.

One thing that made me pause, whilst wandering around this folder, was the question of genre, so to speak. This is Children's Corner - but is the work predominantly for children or about children? Granted, there is always going to be a cross over. However, for example, your poem "Sonny" (which I loved by the way) is written about a child but I cannot see it appealing to children, simply because they wont understand it. Does this make sense? It might be worth considering having two subfolders within Children's Corner.

Regardless, you have great work here. Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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37
37
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I think this folder and it's content are great! I nearly didn't scroll to the bottom of your port as I was going to review something else, but I am glad I did.
I'll be honest, I haven't read every single word of every item in this folder. Yet. However, I have read enough to be able to see that you're a fantastic writer (despite what you say). Everything here is incredibly articulate. Your ability to get your points and arguments across to the reader is impressive. Ranting usually involves spouting off about things using just opinion rather than fact. You do both. You throw in little facts and figures to back up your rants.

Not everyone will agree with everything you say. But hopefully they will appreciate the effort you put into your ranting *Bigsmile*

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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38
38
Review of Images  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

The images within this folder are fantastic. I really enjoy looking through people's images as I feel it can help one get to know the person behind the writing. Indeed, here you have a lot of gothicy, fantasy and creative images, but you also have personal photos too. This is very nice to see.

Unfortunately, it is not totally clear if you designed your sigs (and similar) or whether someone else designed them for you. I think it might be nice if you wrote more of a description for each photo - or even just for the folder as a general introduction. For example, in place of the "Just images" you already have there.

Also, as this is a creative folder, I think it would be great if you had a cover image to make it even more eye catching.

Regardless, I love this folder and I thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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39
39
Review of Grey  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces. Having said that, this folder has an awardicon so it is not overlooked that often.

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I love your port. Now that I'm here again, I have a feeling that your port played a helping hand in inspiring me to be more creative with my own port. So, thank you!

I'll be honest and admit that I haven't read every single item here in great detail. But I have had a quick flick through, whilst taking note of the ratings already awarded to your work. You have a great mix of writing here, all of which is incredibly thought provoking and inspirational. I also really love the way a lot of the poems have a commentary with the, discussing the formation and structure of the work. As someone who is currently attempting to learn the ins and outs of poetry, I find this incredibly interesting to see.

I don't really have any suggestions for improvement as I think this is great. I'm very please to see that you're writing again!

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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40
40
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

What a wonderful folder! It is incredibly heartening to see that a contest on WDC has had such an influence on your writing. More so that it encouraged you to get back to your writing.
It is such a shame that the contest is now closed as it means readers/visitors cannot see what rules you were working with. Perhaps this is something you could add to the folder summary.

I'll admit that I haven't read every single item here in great detail. But I have had a quick flick through, whilst taking note of the ratings already awarded to your work. You have a great mix of writing here, all of which is incredibly thought provoking. I also love the way each poem has a commentary with it, discussing the inspiration behind the work.

Well done and thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review of Children's Lyrics  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I actually came across this folder whilst wandering through another folder. I do love it when a port has lots of nooks and cranies!

I'll admit that I haven't read every single item here in great detail. But I have had a quick flick through, whilst taking note of the ratings already awarded to your work. You have a great mix of writing here, all of which is incredibly thought provoking.

I noticed that some of your items in your port have cover images but many do not. This is understandable as the cover image option is relatively new. However, I think this would be the perfect folder to make use of it.

The description of this folder reads "These are my children lyrics I have written for various ones." For me this sentence doesn't quite make sense. I'm wondering whether you mean something along the lines of: "A folder for lyrics I have written for various children" ?

Regardless, this is a great folder full of excellent work. Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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42
42
Review of Poems  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

You are clearly not very confident when it comes to poetry otherwise you wouldn't use the word "attempt". Yet, this folder is in your port. This suggests that you enjoy writing poetry, something in your head wants you to write poetry, you just need to believe you can.

From the one poem I am able to read (the other two are hidden), I can see that the skills and abilities are there waiting to be honed.

I completely "get" this folder. In fact, I have a very similar folder to this in my port. I often catch myself saying "I wish I could right poems" and before I know it *poof* there's a poem.

Writing poetry is a matter of self-discovery. Learning to write as you see fit - putting the words on the paper in ways that you like and enjoy. Forget other people's judgements and rules. This takes time and confidence.

If poetry is a form of writing that you enjoy and it gives you pleasure to structure words in this way then, I'm afraid to say, you are a poet! *Delight*

I've given the folder 3.5 stars because there are two poems hidden from view, meaning you're not being true to yourself and showing off your work. What's the worst that can happen?

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
43
43
Review of Magic Marbles  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item"  that you won at the "Invalid Item"  raffle.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
This title immediately made me think of my childhood, in the playground and made me want to read on - I was right to do so.

The best bits:
I truly loved this poem. I had my brother and his children over yesterday: my nephew played on his iPad until it died and my niece is always "allowed" to be painfully shy, even though she's not. My fiance and I get irritated by this. So, this time we forced them to play Uno and pick apples and pears from our trees. Because of this, we all had a much better day! Therefore, I completely understand and empathise with the message of the poem. I digress...

The poem is written incredibly well. It has the continuity of four-line stanzas using a AABB rhyme scheme. It flows fluidly throughout and makes use of vocabulary that makes the reader smile and remember. I think my favourite stanza has to be:

For each success, a tiny cheer;
For each miss, a larger jeer.
We talked and laughed and talked some more
until my wife called from the door.

It invokes images of a rekindled father-son friendship.


Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

off of your hands – and dust your knees!”
I could tell that she was pleased.

These two lines don't quite rhyme so they break the rhyme scheme. However, I am pleased to see that the rhyme wasn't forced.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
44
44
Review of On Impulse  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is one of the reviews paid for with the gift certificate you received for placing 3rd in the "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
A simple title that doesn't give much away - intriguing me enough to read on.

The best bits:
I'll be honest and say, I'm not great with abstract poetry. So I'm not entirely sure I understand this poem. Usually, I would quietly walk away and not leave a review. However, I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed it - despite not understanding.

For a poem written by a teenager, it uses some great vocabulary that envolkes some interesting imagery. From what I can see, the escape wasn't quite successful at the time but was well thought out. I love the following lines:

I hungered to uninvent time,
so I ate my watch.

What a great way to start a poem!

Improvements or corrections:
You have said that you wont be editing anything in this folder. Therefore, I do not have anything to point out here. To be fair I didn't any way so well done!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx
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Review of Happy Accidents  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item"  that you bought with the gift certificate from Princess Zelda .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title makes me think of happy feet for some reason. Therefore, I assumed this would be quite a 'cute' story. I guess it is in a way, but not in the way I thought.

The best bits:
This story is rather unusual, to say the least. Looking at the prompt you worked from, I can only assume that this entry was one of the most creative. This is no bad thing.
I like the concept and can easily imagine reading a whole book or watching a film devote to the idea. Indeed, you managed to get a lot of the basics across in 1000 words, which is hard to do. I think this would most certainly work even better as a longer piece. I find myself wanting to know how the database works and how it controls dreams.

Therefore, I say 'write on' because I want to read on!


Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

I think the words “eighteen bedroom” should be connected by a hyphen: “eighteen-bedroom”.

Same here, the words “face to face” are usually connected by hyphens: “face-to-face”

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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46
Review of Mr Pumpkinface  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: Part of your Total Indulgence Bag from "Invalid Item" . - I am very sorry I am only just getting round to these! I also felt that since I awarded this item with an awardicon, that it was only right for me to come back and review it

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
The title and description made me smile even before I opened this item. Good start@

The best bits:
Since I awarded this item, you'll hopefully already know that I like it. I am drawn in by the humour of the piece.
The poem is what I might call semi-free verse - free verse with unstructured rhymes thrown in. This, however, doesn't take away from the poem at all. It flows very well indeed and has continuity in terms of the stanzas and numbers of lines.

This makes me smile every time I read it, which can only be a good thing! *Bigsmile*

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have anything to point out here. I think this is great as it stands and I see nothing that really stands out or that screams "I need editing". Fantastic work!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
47
47
Review of Christmas Tree  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: part of your Total Indulgence Bag from "Invalid Item" ... I'm very sorry it has taken me so long to get round to these!

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
As soon as I spotted this title, and the description below it, I was pretty sure I knew what the content would be. I was immediately reminded of Phoebe from Friends who felt sad for all the unwanted Christmas trees.

The best bits:
I love this poem, for three reasons. Firstly because it is so true. Secondly because it is about something we, generally, don't tend to think about. Thirdly because it made me laugh!

This is a great free verse poem that flows really well. Despite being free verse, you have managed to still make it visually appealing and, therefore, very easy to read.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have anything to point out here. I think this is great as it stands and I see nothing that really stands out or that screams "I need editing". Fantastic work!


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review of clipart  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I was drawn to this folder because I enjoy looking at other people's images. I sometimes think you can learn nearly as much about a person from their images as you can their writing.

Indeed, from looking through this folder of clipart, I can see that you appear to be a music lover. You have a great variety of images, all of which are fun to look at and were able to make me smile. I wonder what these images have been used for. I may need to wander through your port to see if I can spot any of them.

I found this within your general Image folder. I'm always happy when I find folders within folders. It feels like I'm entering an Aladin's cave!

The only thing I'd suggest you'd consider is the use of cover images. This folder is so creative that seems a shame to have such a bland exterior. Cover images will just add that little bit of colour that will help to brighten up your port.


Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
49
49
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I'll be honest, I didn't read every single word of every single item in this folder. But what I did read, I liked. I really love the fact that you refuse to limit yourself to particular genres and try and give everything a go. That suggests that you have a great imagination and can see the world in many many different ways.

I thought the stories within this folder were great and are exactly what I would've wanted to read as a child. They were easy to read and I loved the way you wove in snippets of humour here and there!

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
50
50
Review of Homework  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I decided to take a look through this folder for two reasons. Firstly, because I am currently taking a class on WDC and fancied taking a look at someone else's experiences. Secondly, I love it when I come across people who are always looking to learn more.
By looking through this file, I realised that you must be a lot like me; never satisfied with what you already know. For me, this is a fantastic way of life. Even the greatest of people are always learning; there is no one who knows everything.

This folder also tells me that you thoroughly enjoyed the classes taken on WDC as you keep going back for more. This can only be a good sign!

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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