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Public Reviews
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51
51
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)
I've just decided that, over the next few days I just want to review portfolio items that may get overlooked at other times. By this, I mean folders, images and other bits and pieces.

I was really drawn to this folder, for several reasons. Firstly because, for years, I aspired to be a Social Worker. I changed my mind and am now a motivational speaker in schools. Secondly, I have had to work with Social Workers for my own needs. Thirdly, I have a heck of a lot of respect for people in the profession. Especially, those who work in the areas you discuss in this folder.

I've had a look through the work within this folder and thoroughly enjoyed what I saw. I have made a note to come back and read through everything properly as all the poem looks fantastic.
I think its great that you have a way to share you're knowledge and experiences. Looking at all your awards and high ratings, I am not the only one who appreciates your work. Please do keep it up!

Thank you very much for the letting me come and review a different part of your portfolio. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks for your order at "Invalid Item" .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Very interesting title that definitely made me want to read on and know more.

My overall thoughts:
I have to say, this piece was not as "easy" to read as your other works. I really liked the concept and I really like the idea that this could potentially be part of a much bigger story. The characters were good. The genre and settings are right up my street - I love fantasy/thriller/supernatural anything. However, for me, this piece felt too rushed. The structure and framing of the item weren't quite there.
Nevertheless, I know you can write excellent stories with great depth and high quality descriptions. Therefore, with a little reworking, this piece could be awesome.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

The word “Oaklahoma” should be spelt “Oklahoma“ – if it is the US state you’re writing about.

Here: "glee.As Morlock approaches” – you’re missing a space after the full stop.

Again, here: “see.Ya know, Lock,” - you’re missing a space after the full stop.

Here: “I’m about as happy to see you” – I recommend a comma after the word ‘you,’.

Here: “around?”Watching the recognition” - you’re missing a space after the question mark.

Again, here: “knives.Onyx eyes narrow” - you’re missing a space after the full stop.

I think the words “collar bone” should be merged to make just one word - “collarbone”

Here: “I soon as rather you kill Morlock. Than as tell you where…” – you’re missing speech marks at the start.

Here: “Isaac.You’re both two sides” - you’re missing a space after the full stop.

Also, here: “armor.Stuck in a stale mate“ - you’re missing a space after the full stop.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks for your order at "Invalid Item" .

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I wasn't so much drawn in by the title of this item, but by the folder to which it belonged. The title of this piece is obviously "Warm Scream". However, this is overshadowed by being told it is flash fiction and part of your Joker Series. You say this in an item's description so it doesn't need to be in the title. Personally, I like titles to jump out at me - because of the layout, I'm afraid it doesn't.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Am I right in thinking this series is based on the Joker from Batman?

The best bits:
Other than the minor errors pointed out below, this is a rather well written murder scene. For a story of under 200 words you have managed to cram a lot of highly descriptive vocabulary in. As a reader, I appreciated this as it meant I was able to imagine the scene unfolding.
The story left a lot of mystery behind and left me wanting to know more. Good work!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “her.No words are spoken” – you’re missing a space after the full stop.

I would say that the words “shot gun” should be combined into one word – “shotgun”.

Here: “shot gun hanging in the other.” – in the other what? You don’t say the knife is in his hand, so it doesn’t quite make sense.

The word “caress’s” should be spelt “caresses”

Here: “Its all over now.” – the word ‘its’ needs an apostrophe – “It's all over now.”


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
Review of A Really Bad Trip  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece because: I hit "random review" to complete the "WDC Birthday Obstacle Course"  and your work popped up

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title & description:
Intriguing title which sounds like it was entered into an interesting contest.

The best bits:
This piece made me laugh, which is just what I needed today - thank you. Indeed, this is a very humourous "postcard". I particularly enjoyed the paragraph ending:

"The ship's doctor said it would be months before I can walk"

I enjoyed the way this was described as a result of mistaken gender.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “Clear all your cases, this is going to make us rich!” – I would consider using a semicolon after the word cases – “Clear all your cases; this is going to make us rich!”

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a WDC Power Reviewer

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I love ice cream, so an activity with a title like this is sure to appeal to someone like me.

The best bits:
This item is really great; its fun, its interactive and it involves food. What is there not to love?

You have an excellent layout, which is not too cluttered or long. Where the item could be in danger of being too fussy, it uses colours and amazing images really well to break things up..

You have an awful lot on offer, so hopefully everyone will find something they might be looking for.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any thing to point out here.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to get involved soon ☺ xx


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56
56
Review of Freaky Deeky  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Interesting... I think I've said "freaky deeky" on a few occasion so this appealed to me.

The best bits:
Wow... now, I'll admit, I started reading the poem before I read the description. Therefore, I was a little taken a back. But, once I got into it, I loved it! This poem is excellent. Its very funny and honest. Maybe a little too honest! It is the kind of poem that would open people's eyes and cause them to tut loudly. This is exactly why I loved it.
Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any thing to point out here. Do not change it!


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx




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57
57
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: You were below me in the "I write..." contest, so I thought I'd pop over and review your work :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
As someone who has genuinely asked this question themselves, this title appealed to me.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
The speaker Is grateful to find some forgiveness and light through prayer and meditation.

The best bits:
In a way, I am really sorry that you have drawn the short straw and have me reviewing you again. However, on the other hand, it does give me a chance to read more of your work.
As I said before I can appreciate the premise behind this item. Therefore I am fully able to relate to the words used in this poem - even if I cannot yet relate to the concepts behind the structural break down and methodology behind your work. I will be sure to return to your port to offer you a more substantial review, when I have a firmer idea and more confidence in the art of poetry.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any thing to point out here.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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58
58
Review of Perfection  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*StarY* Welcome to WDC from all of us at "Invalid Item"  *StarY*


Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and just to welcome you to WDC!

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
As someone who can be a bit of a perfectionist, I was intrigued by this item.

The best bits:
Other than a few grammatical suggestions I will make below, this is a very well written piece. In addition, you are quite right you say here. I think in terms of art and writing - in any form - perfection is, indeed, impossible to achieve. I found this line particularly interesting:

"...creative success and acceptance within the intended medium, with this being the most that one can hope for."

I do agree, in a way. However, I believe we should always strive for perfection. Otherwise we're not making the most of our talents and being true to ourselves. Which is why you should keep doing what you're doing.

I'd be interested in seeing a longer version of this. For example, what makes you want to say this? And how did you reach these conclusions?

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “strive for “perfection”, are” – I don’t think the comma is needed – “strive for 'perfection' are”.

Here: “process of expression with an ultimate” – I would actually add in a comma after the word expression – “process of expression, with an ultimate”

If I see very short, single paragraph, items that are categorised as essays, I feel the need to turn it into two or three paragraphs to make it feel longer and more “meaty”. Therefore, I feel I should tell you that I put a new line in, after the word ‘version’.

Here: “process itself, the artist nonetheless should find” – I would actually remove the comma after the word ‘itself’. Then I would add in two commas, one before the word ‘nonetheless’ and one after – “process itself the artist, nonetheless, should find”.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx



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*CoffeeBl* Join us for some coffee and conversation in the "Invalid Item"  *CoffeeBl*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
59
Review of Dream Lover  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*StarY* Welcome to WDC from all of us at "Invalid Item"  *StarY*

Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I am reviewing your work as a member of the Simply Positive group and just to welcome you to WDC!

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
I really enjoy reading items about vampires so I was interested to see your take on things.

The best bits:
This is a great short story that has fantastic potential to be a longer item. I finished reading this and wanted to know more. To me, the scene appears to be a dream. I say this because there is mention that he'll come with sleep. Am I right? If not, perhaps this needs further clarity.

The descriptions in this item are very good and really help the reader to visualise what is going on between the characters!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “Sleep come soon and with it he comes too.” – you just need a S on the word ‘come’ – “Sleep comes soon and with it he comes too.” OR you could add in the word ‘will’. Like so: “Sleep will come soon and with it he comes too.”

Here: “She can not fight or resist him.” – the words ‘can not’ should be one word – “She cannot fight or resist him.”


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx



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*CoffeeBl* Join us for some coffee and conversation in the "Invalid Item"  *CoffeeBl*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
60
60
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Good title. Doesn't give too much away but intriguing enough.

The best bits:
It is actually hard enough to write flash fiction, let alone micro fiction. So, I take your hat off to you in this case.
You have made fantastic use of ever single word available to you. You have certainly made the most of your words via the use of dialogue. This definitely helps to "bulk out" the story. It also gives the reader time to settle in before coming to the twist.
I felt like I was reading a story longer than 150 words. This is great!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have any thing to point out here. This is saying something since I always look very hard for errors!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
61
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Great title - almost certainly likely to draw people in. Like me!

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Umm... is it all free, by any chance?

The best bits:
When it comes to rants, I think you have a genuine skill. I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course. Most people rant using inarticulate vocabulary and references. You, on the other hand, appear to be able to get your points across in a very articulate, yet humourous fashion.

Just to make reference to the subject matter, briefly. I think, when using websites like this, it might be difficult to appreciate the time, effort and, indeed, money that does go into making everything run so smoothly. That is, until you learn the ropes and see everything developing.
I also think that the reason other sites fail and WDC does not, is definitely the community and your own personal involvement. I think seeing you all floating around the place is a great incentive for someone like me to *want* to pay for a service like this. Whereas other services just happen and there is bound to be less appreciation for the effort needed.
I would like to think that complaints like this are few and far between. She says, with fingers crossed.

In terms of the item: it is both humourous and to the point. I was laughing through the entirety of the article. But I also knew exactly what you were getting at. Thus, the item offered great clarity and explanation.


Improvements or corrections:
The only thing I would really say is that this item hasn't been updated in a while. It might be worth doing in case anyone has similar complaint ideas.


I really enjoyed reading this item. Thank you very much for the read. xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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5.0
62
62
Review of Silent Witness  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is one of the reviews paid for with the gift certificate from your secret pal.

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
I could tell from these that I would like the concept of this item meaning I had to read on to find out more.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A mirror has seen a girl grow up over the years. It no longer reflects a joyful little girl. Rather, it now sees a helpless teenager.

The best bits:
This is a fascinating take on what it must be like to be part of a royal family. In the UK, a new prince was born in July. My first thought was "oh but that boy will never know what it is like to be himself".

I am guessing English is your second language. In which case, other than the few things I point out below, this is really well written.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “A recorder of changing moods, a silent witness of her daily activities.” – I would start this with the words ‘I am”, just like the previous sentence and the one after – “I am a recorder of changing moods, a silent witness of her daily activities.”

I would consider taking the word ‘newborn’ and turning it into two words – “new born”.

Here: “Those killing, dark brown eyes hidden behind thick, black glasses.” – I might recommend connecting this sentence with the one before using a colon – “The ebony black hair dyed into a bright, golden shade: those killing, dark brown eyes hidden behind thick, black glasses.”

The word “jewelry” is spelt “jewellery”

I would hyphenate the words “non living” like so “non-living”

With the word “verandah” - I wonder whether you mean “veranda”?


Nevertheless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review of Autumn Forecast  
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: You were below me in the "I write..." contest, so I thought I'd pop over and review your work :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing - Especially not poetry. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I love writing that is based on weather and the seasons. I, personally, love the summer season but I enjoy reading other people's take on the different seasons and the connotations they have for the writer.

The best bits:
I really like the original way in which you have utilised the prompts provided for you. You have taken for completely unrelated words and has developed a very descriptive and free flowing piece of poetry. As I said at the start, I am not a poet, not by any stretch of the imagination. However I am currently looking to learn all I can about poetry and I hope to, one day, know what I am talking about. It is by reading the work like yours, that really encourages me to want to move forward. I say this because your poems always strike me as being able to deliver something a little different; be it in the structure or the vocabulary you use

Improvements or corrections:
I cannot see anything strikingly obvious that I would consider changing, to be honest. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. I am truly sorry that I cannot offer you a better review.

Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


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64
64
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece to say: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks for your order at "Invalid Item" 

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
When I saw the title of this item, it struck me as being exactly the kind of story I love to read. I just had to read on.

The best bits:
The concept behind this story is fantastic. I love the idea of sweet candy skulls holding names of people who's souls are due for collection. The notion of 'Halloween death messengers' is right up my street and is something I'd like to read more about.
In fact, in my opinion this concept is no where near exhausted in this item. If you wanted to, I believe you could extend this much further and in far more detail! *Smile*

Improvements or corrections:
The things I point out here are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel. However, I’m a stickler for correcting grammar and spellings. So I hope you don’t mind me making a few suggestions.

Here: “As she walked through the village streets treading softly.” – as a sentence this doesn’t fit as nicely as it could. I would consider removing the word ‘as’ and combining it with the following sentence with the use of a semi-colon. For example: “She walked through the village streets treading softly; She walked through the village streets treading softly; hidden in the shadows and candle light.”

I think “candle light” should just be one word – “candlelight”

Here: “All around her was life taking place” – I’m wondering whether the words are in slightly the wrong order. I’d suggest: “All around her life was taking place” … I’d also consider stopping this sentence here, and combining the remainder of the sentence with the next, like so:
“All around her life was taking place. With it came the sights and smells of the time of year when being apart of the living world became slightly more than just a dream for the dead.”


Here: “being apart of the living world” – I wonder if you meant “a part” rather than “apart”

Typo: “stones.There” is missing a space and should read “stones. There”

Same here: “sweet breads.The” should read “sweet breads. The”

Here: “A small crude cross and petal shapes…” – I would start this sentence with the words ‘there was’. For example: “There was a small crude cross and petal shapes…” because it is these types of words like link sentences together and make our writing flow better.

Here: “during their live’s” – no apostrophe is required in lives – “during their lives”

Technically, Halloween is the name of a day. Therefore, the H should always be capitallised.

I think “rhym” requires an E at the end - “rhyme”

Here: “Whisper in my ear give…” – technically this ought to be plural. So there are two options you could consider to make this grammatically correct. Either: “Whispers in my ear give…” OR “Whisper in my ear gives…”

Here: “I'm here. But not much longer.” – there are two very short sentences that I’d think about combining with a comma – “I'm here, but not much longer."

The word ‘inheritence’ should be spelt with an A rather than an E – “inheritance”

Regardless, I enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you at "Invalid Item"  by Maryann - House Martell with the message 'Thinking of you, Aunt Dottie!'

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Brilliant title that really got me curious as to what could be involved a story with a title like this.

The best bits:
Gosh those cookies must have been made of unbreakable ingredients - unlike the cheesecake *Wink*

I think this item works really well because it is a travel journal type piece in the disguise of a story about cookies. In reality, while we are reading about these steel cookies, we are learning more about you and your travels.
The story definitely held on to my attention throughout. I found myself wondering whether cookies would end up next and I had just keep believing that they would eventually be eaten because I hate wasting food.
I could also relate to this item as I have done pretty much exactly the same thing - on more than one occasion.

Improvements or corrections:
I have tried, but I cannot really find anything that I would necessarily want to correct. However, I wonder whether it could have been possible to extend this item further and describe, in even more detail, what you were doing on your travels and what we were up to in all the different places you visited.

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx
66
66
Review of White Lava  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review was bought for you at "Invalid Item"  by Maryann - House Martell with the message 'Thinking of you, Aunt Dottie!'

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
Interesting and intriguing choice of title.

The best bits:
This is a great example of "if I don't laugh, I'll cry". It is extremely easy to relate to this item - surely we've all been there? Full of great intentions but it just turns out to be a great big mess.
I really enjoyed the way you described everything in such detail. As a reader, I was able to picture everything that was going on in your kitchen.
I'm very glad that you weren't put off by this experience. I'm also glad you've decided to stick to the original ingredients. In my mind, if you're going to eat cheesecake, you have to do it in the proper (full fat) way. Enjoy!

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

For things like “1/2 cup” and “10 inch” – I would consider hyphenation – “1/2-cup” and “10-inch”

Here: “cornstarch” doesn’t look quite right, I’m not sure if that is the official format, or not. However, I’d consider hyphenation or even making it into two words – “corn-starch” OR “corn starch”

Here: “It was submitted by Mary-Ellen Cocchi of East Williston, NY” – this sentence appears incomplete, even though I know it isn’t really. I would consider combining the previous sentence with this one – “It was a recipe that I had cut out of a Family Circle Magazine in 2005, (comma) submitted by Mary-Ellen Cocchi of East Williston, NY.”

Typo: “Afterall” is actually two words – “After all”


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
This title and description really caught my eye. I wanted to see how a story based on a nursery rhyme would be written.

The best bits:
This is a great take on the nursery rhyme and a very creative way of adapting it into a story.
I love all the character names. In my mind's eye I am able to picture them all in beautiful illustrative form. I think children would be able to grow to love them too.

Improvements or corrections:
As hard as I tried, I do not really have any thing to point out here. There were quite a few places when I stopped and thought "I'd probably put a comma there". However, this is less important in children's writing so I decided not to point this out. But, I am happy to return and do so, if that'd be helpful to you.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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68
68
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
I always like to try and get to know other WDC members via their writing. Therefore, I enjoy reading items based on personal experiences.

The best bits:
This is an entertaining and honest story of a ten year-old's day at a shopping mall.
I enjoyed the way this item was written from the girl's perspective, rather than written in the past tense. I think this enables the reader to relate to the story better.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “Mom won’t let me and Owen have a Sega…” – I’d consider changing the order of this, to make it grammatically correct - “Mom won’t let Owen and I have a Sega…”

I think “hula hoop” should be hyphenated: “hula-hoop”

Here: “I’m so excited, I put in my first two quarters…” – I recommend using a semi-colon after excited, instead of a comma: “I’m so excited; I put in my first two quarters”

Here: “I beat him too.Next…” – this is just missing a space after the full stop – “. I beat him too. Next…”


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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69
69
Review of Night Terrors!  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

This is a very well done piece of micro fiction. I've tried micro fiction a few times and struggle so I take my hat off to anyone who can do it well.
The title and item description provide a great start to this story - drawing me in and making me want to read on.

For me, it was not entirely clear that this was written from the child's perspective until right at the end. However, I think this is great and really adds to the tension/horror of the story!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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70
70
Review of HARVEST MOON  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
I wasn't exactly drawn in by the title, as such. However, the description indicates that this item will hold you idea of a perfect day. I love trying to get to know WDC members. So, I thought finding out about your perfect day would help me with this.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
Part of a story that watches as a relationship unfolds, bit by bit.

The best bits:
I really enjoyed this item. I felt that it offered a frank and honest snippet of your life. The vocabulary utilised here really allowed me to picture where you were and imagine what you could see and feel throughout the day.
I am interested in how this relationship developed now. Therefore, I will endeavour to return and read on.

Improvements or corrections:
Try as I might, I do not really have any thing to point out here. However, for some reason, this sentence doesn't sit well with me: "Friday morning the fate of the apples did not worry me." I think a simple "on" at the start of the sentence would do.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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71
71
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
Seen as we are heading towards another WDC birthday, I felt it was appropriate that I should come across this item. Therefore, I just had to read on and offer you a review.

The best bits:
I really enjoyed this item. I was fascinated by the fact that you wrote this after only a month of your membership here. You were obviously very taken by the community and felt like you had found somewhere where you were able to be comfortable. This clearly comes across in your writing.
I think the colour and emoticons really bring the poem to life and add to the occasion that the item is celebrating.

Improvements or corrections:
Try as I might, I cannot find anything to point out here. I'm normally very picky so well done!

I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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72
72
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I was just meandering through your port when I happened to stumble across this here folder. I started to get a bit excited since I love fantasy, of all kinds. However, It soon dawned on me that the shutters have gone down on this and the idea is no more.

Even if that is it for this group and there is no return, I wanted you to know that it looked great. It is definitely something I'd have been interested in joining if I had been around on WDC back then.

If this ever makes a come back, give me a shout *Wink*

Thank you very much for the chance to take a wander through your port. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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73
73
Review of Here Lie Memories  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
I was intrigued by this title/description. I really found myself wanting to know about this lonely man. Especially as it was depicted as a horror story.

The best bits:
For me the descriptive language is what makes this item good and is able to draw the reader in. The piece takes a relatively good deal of time making sure we know exactly what we should be seeing/imagining. This is great.

However, because of this, there is a great deal of scope for you to extend this item much further. As a reader I was left with too many questions. Why was he alone and everything so dirty? What was he going to do with the axe? Was that the horror part? I felt it, but I wanted it expanded on.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Typo: ‘eachother” – should be ‘each other'.

Typo: “goldne earrings” – should be “golden earrings”

Here: “yet healthy colour which gave” – I’d recommend a comma after ‘colour’ – “yet healthy colour, which gave…”

Typo: ‘finger prints’ should be one word – “fingerprints”

Here: “…through the windows which haven't been…” - I’d recommend a comma after ‘window’ - “…through the windows, which haven't been…”


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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74
74
Review of Just Another Day  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: I've just popped by to offer you WDC Simply Positive account birthday review :)

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title:
When choosing this item to read, it was merely because it was about a traveller and felt impelled to find out why his day ended in tragedy. Now I know.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A story of one of the 9/11 victims

The best bits:
Really, there are not best bits in this story. It really is tragic. However, the writing and the portrayal of the story is impeccable!
To be honest, it took me a while to work out what this item was really about. But I am just slow on the up take. Once I realised, the item seemed to fit together perfectly.

A simple story that could break the heart of anyone able to remember that horrific day.

Improvements or corrections:
I have searched high and low to find something to correct. However, I do not have anything to point out here.


I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
75
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

I am reviewing this piece for: As part of your "Invalid Item"  package *Smile*

I do not claim to be an expert in writing or reviewing. Therefore, these are just my opinions and you may feel free to use or discard them.

Title and description:
These are great and give the reader a sense that a lovely story is on it's way.

My interpretations; what the item is trying to tell me:
A piece describing how a father's craftmanship stays with his child all their life, to be a symbol of his love forever more.

The best bits:
This is a really beautiful piece. I could feel the emotion and admiration pour out of this piece from word one.
The language used to describe a father's work and love is delightful. It really enables the reader to picture the carpentry and the lives that grow around the wooden delights.

Improvements or corrections:
I do not have many things to point out here. The things I do point out are just my opinion so not to be taken as gospel.

Here: “it makes me feel warm and content It is the smell” – I recommend the use of a colon after the word content – “it makes me feel warm and content: it is the smell”

Here: “The 3 story Barbie” – it should be storey rather than story. I also recommend spelling out numbers and using a hyphen – “The three-storey Barbie…”

Here: “They are pieces of himself…” – I think this only needs to be him rather than himself – “They are pieces of him…”


Regardless, I really enjoyed reading this item and I hope my comments have helped a little; at least. Thank you very much for the read. I hope I get the opportunity to read more of your work at some point soon ☺ xx

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