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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/freezinq
Review Requests: OFF
16 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of ABANDONED  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow. That sure is emotional, it gave me tingles. I feel the adequate sadness that came along with reading this, it gave me a lot of emotions.

This is very well-written I believe, I don't see much poetry without rhyming anymore. I don't find any errors, but I suggest using a word other than 'babe' the second time you use it, you already used the same word before. That's just my opinion, though.

Very good! Keep up the great work, and thanks for requesting!
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Review of Reed and Kristos  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Beautiful. Absolutely marvelous. I enjoyed this short-story so much, it was so smooth and left me scrolling down for more. I was dragged in by the first sentence, and I could really get a feel for these two.

Since I'm attempting to give advice along with this review, I got very picky with grammar and found this gem:
"Reed scoffed still rubbing his chest."
I recommend putting a comma between 'scoffed' and 'still,' if you read it without a small pause between those two, it sounds awkward.
Otherwise, I find nothing else! Keep up the fabulous work!
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Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very good, short and simple. I loved the syllabetic and rhyme scheme that you used, it made it even more pleasurable to read. It shows the distaste one has for another, the wish for the other to 'go away.' Satisfying to look over. Very nice, keep up the good work.
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Review of Dear Friends  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is amazing, honestly. I love how you added misspellings due to Bethany being young, I can really get a good idea of what was going on here. I'm glad you shared, it shows how reluctant Bethany is to write this, yet would do it anyways. Perhaps you could change "absurd" to a different word, unless you're going by the fact that Bethany heard her parents saying it. This was a marvelous reading, keep up the good work!
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Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
Once upon a time there was a forbidden love, tied together by fate herself. The two came from other kingdoms, who's differences have now caused a long and heavy bloodshed. Everyday, the two lovers would meet in secret, behind the old oak tree, away from sight. There they would whisper softly, just loud enough to hear, as the two kingdoms brawled. One day, while gathering on that late October night, the couple was found by old Sir. Hollow, the wisest elder for thousands of miles. The old fart just smiled his aged smile, blessing the two for bravery. "While everyone is unnerved, these two young'uns found love." The senior croaked. Because of that, the teens made a plan. It was dangerous and was littered with the chance of failure, but they believed. One night, while the Kings scuffled, the lovers pushed their way through, screaming a stop. Their practiced speech silenced even the most unwilling, and their story touched many. The silence went on, until finally, the King himself bowed to the brave characters for a moment more than quickly. The other King grumbled, but after setting apart their quarrel, the slaughter had been silenced.

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Review of Death  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is just as beautiful, so Emotional and amazing. You have a talent for writing, really! Keep writing!
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7
Review of Power  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
Marcus oh my gosh this is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing this is amazing!
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8
Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
Andi how do you make me so emotional over writing ohhh my god I'm still so sorry you had to go through this. This was an amazing poem, powerful and really emotional for me. I'm glad you're making things here, you're really good at writing.
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Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an amazing poem! It's perfectly rhymed and oddly humorous, I enjoyed it so much! Keep up the good work!
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Review by Freezinq
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ah, man. I absolutely love this. I have no idea why I found this so humorous, but I did! Its just so out there, I adore it! Honestly, I enjoy all of your stuff. Keep up the good work!
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Review of HONOR OUR TROOPS  
Review by Freezinq
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how you dedicated it to our troops, it's quite beautiful to read. Very nice, keep up the good work!
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