Review Requests: OFF
26 Public Reviews Given
696 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual. I rate almost everything 5 stars and try to point out its good points.
I'm good at...
I can point out most obvious mistakes. I am a good speller and not too bad at grammar. I notice things like repeated words, misuse of words, and monotonous sentence structure.
Favorite Genres
I like fast-paced stories that are light on the adjectives. There should be a space between paragraphs and the paragraphs should not be too long.
Least Favorite Genres
Any piece that takes life too seriously or too morbidly. I have no interest in death or disease or psychological abuse unless you are making a funny treatment of it.
I will not review...
I will not review extremely long items. If I decline to review an item then either I had too many requests pending or when I looked at your item I felt I could not adequately review it.
Public Reviews
1
1
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
You have a lot of great ideas and suggestions about writing sci-fi and fantasy. As someone who writes fantasy and sci-fi myself, I read with great interest all your ideas. I highly recommend this essay to anyone who has similar writing interests.

I have no errors to point out. Whether you really have none or whether I was just so caught up in enjoying the reading that I forgot to check for them... I don't know!

Thanks for a good read!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Great essay!

But you might be a little confused about "freedom of speech" because it definitely does NOT mean you can say anything you want anywhere at anytime. Many kinds of speech are illegal including defamation of character, incitement to riot, causing panic in a public place, yelling in a quiet zone, etc, etc.

The problem with putting a bumper sticker on your car is that it is not "speech". If you said "Honk if you like Rush" the words would last a few seconds and be over. But a bumper sticker is more like a poster or graffiti. You are displaying a controversial statement in a public place, the highway. Not at all the same thing as making a controversial remark in a public place.

I'm a strong believer in political correctness because I grew up in the South where the "N-word" was used in terrible ways.

By the way, the White House didn't abolish the word "terrorism" from "Islamic terrorism", it abolished the word "Islamic". They still consider terrorism to be terrorism. "Islamic" was removed because it does not apply. It would be like saying "Christian terrorists". It doesn't make any sense.

I really enjoyed reading your essay and sympathize with your opinion. As you can see, it got me all worked up and in the mood to argue. Good job! *Delight*
3
3
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Well-written! I did not find any errors in spelling or grammar. You have a few stylistic quirks that you may or may not want to address. When someone like me has a "style" criticism, then obviously it's a question of my own personal taste.

1. Too many "ands".
For example, His sister was much more accommodating, and just a small sampling of tales featuring monsters and bad men was enough to break her of any habit Adam tried to pass on to her. I feel would be stronger as His sister was much more accommodating. Just a small sampling of tales featuring monsters and bad men was enough to break her of any habit Adam tried to pass on to her.

2. Indenting paragraphs that have quotation marks is not normal practice. Standard internet format is no indented paragraphs and a blank line between paragraphs.

Those were just a couple of little style things that popped into my attention. There is also this awkward moment...

He considered again. I'll kick and scream and bite them.
"I'll kick and scream and bite them," Adam was certain.

where you say the same thing twice. One of the kick and screams should be deleted. The reader will find the "echo effect" distracting. Also, correct punctuation would be a period after the quote, not a comma. To use a comma you would need something like ___," said Adam.

A good beginning for your story. I was curious how it would develop. Keep writing!
4
4
Review of Alex Cooper  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
This work is in the form of a joke or amusing anecdote. It succeeds as such to a large extent, although it's not immediately clear why "my bank" and "the government" are considered equivalent. In America, the banking is all private enterprise, but are there other places where that might not be the case? Perhaps the scammer wasn't sure on that point either? *Delight*

Another point I have a problem with is the phrase "exotic accent" which seems to be code for "not anglo saxon". I would be more comfortable if the accent were spelled out, an Ecuadorian accent, or a Nigerian accent, or even an "unidentifiable accent". On the other hand, the writing flows more smoothly by using "exotic". It's just a word with strange associations, like "exotic dancing" in the USA, which is a code for "strip club".

You can see I have to stretch it quite far to find anything to criticize about this little tale, so let's just put it down as a success, especially for the audience of the author's homeland, and perhaps with a few head scratches for American readers. Well written. I could find no writing errors.
5
5
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
A very nice homage to The Writer's Cramp! I also think it's a wonderful contest, but I have been slack about entering in recent years. Your bit of praise has inspired me to get back at it. Thank you!

I have no idea why you are paying people to review this piece. No one can disagree with what you said and I am perfectly happy with the way you said it. There was only one moment of confusion and that was figuring out that the third sentence was referring to the second sentence, but most likely that is a fault peculiar to me and no one else who reads this. If I was rewriting it, I would end that sentence "...commented about my lack of what I consider an overrated quality: patience."

Otherwise, good show and thanks for getting me interested in Writer's Cramp again!
6
6
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Beautifully written with a great emotional kick at the end. Obviously you know all about how to do this writing thing. I wouldn't be surprised to hear this has already been published somewhere.

I have to confess that it was the offer of the GP reward to review this that drew me to it. I don't normally read much in the romance genre, but this was a very satisfying read even for a guy like me who leans more toward fantasy and humor.

I know it is my duty as a reviewer to point out some way the piece could be made even better, but I honestly don't think it can. It has already been polished to perfection. Any changes now would be as likely to be negative as positive. I wouldn't change a thing.

I don't think it needs a Part 2. I read the one you wrote, but it's kind of an anticlimax after "Ru... x xxxx xx xxxx xxx" which is such a nice emotional peak to end on. (Ha! Didn't want to insert a "spoiler" for anyone reading this review before the actual work. *Smile*)
7
7
Review of Blank Item  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (5.0)
Although it's well-written, I disagree with your contention that blank items need reviews. (I also resent the injunction to be honest, but that's another issue, probably a personal one indicative of some mental dysfunction of my own, although so far I fail to see what it might be, but don't even suggest seeking professional help because I am NOT going to go that route.)

I don't mean to get off on a negative track here because my overall impression of the piece was quite positive. More about that later, but first let's get the minor annoyance out of the way.

The universe is filled with nothingness. It's probably the most common thing there is. There are actually an infinity of blank items, each much like the other, differing only in whose port they may reside and what item number they may have been given. (Of course, the vast majority remain unnumbered and unassigned. I won't go into the science of it as that would be inappropriate in a review I intend to devote mostly to nitpicking.)

The point is that given such a plentitude of blank items, you can hardly say that any of them NEED a review, which I am sure even you would agree is the moral equivalent of saying they DESERVE a review. And they don't really, do they? In fact, anytime a blank item gets a review it should thank the reviewer profusely and just be glad it got noticed at all.

Now, with that out of the way, let's get down to your item number 1951881.

I am familiar with some of your other work, some of it quite remarkable, and I think this ranks with the best of it. It's concise, hearty, not too moist, but not too dry either. You handle satire like a chainsaw juggler, always keeping the motor roaring, but never actually cutting off your own hand. If this were a poem, I would be saying What a clever rhyme!

But it's not a poem, and that's probably one nit we could pick. Blank prose is so much less satisfying than blank verse. But hey, it's a stylistic choice you were willing to make and we have to respect the writer's choices most of the time, unless it's bad grammar, then I stand up like any good reviewer and say Tense disagreement! or Inconsistent adverbial foreplay! or whatever seems called for.

Whoa! I see I've already written more than enough to grab the GPs for this one. So long. Keep up the good work! You can always count on me to review whatever you create as long as the price is right.

*Smile* Steve
8
8
Review of Do Chistians Sin?  
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (4.5)
But what IS sin? That's a puzzle.

It seems to be similar to crime, but of course if you commit a crime you will be arrested and punished here on earth.

So maybe sin is a crime you get away with? Then when you die and think you're going to Heaven, the gatekeeper says, "Whoa! Wait a minute, Buddy. You were never punished for stealing that book from the public library, telling a lie to your girlfriend, and killing that convenience store clerk.""

Although I hope they have more than one Hell. It doesn't seem fair to make those who commit minor sins suffer right beside those who commit major sins. Murderers shoud go to Big Hell but petty thieves should go to Little Hell. And maybe they could have a place for the really tiny sins like white lies, etc., and call it something nice like Almost Heaven.

I enjoyed your philosophical/theological thoughts very much.

Keep thinking and writing. It's so rare to find people who do both.

Steve
9
9
Review of Lost  
Rated: 13+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
So very sad. Sometimes I wish a good writer was not so very good, because with the power of her words she can move me to tears. Then I have to pull myself away and find something to boost me back into lighthearted acceptance of life's troubles.

You are very good.

Steve
10
10
Review of Questions  
Rated: 18+ ★★★★★ | (5.0)
I have had so much fun with this in-and-out!

The idea may have originated with "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" but the presentation here is clean, concise, and delightful to participate in.
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