A couple of things first off. I know virtually nothing about Texas. Been there twice and my impressions were limited to brick housing developments where, if you weren't careful, you got lost because all the houses looked the same and they were characterless, and everyone drives like they are immortal gods. That being said, first, I was drawn in to learn more about your Texas simply by your words. Secondly, when I got to the end, my thoughts were: That's it? I'm done? Damn. I would have most happily kept reading! I was disappointed I couldn't.
This is coming from someone who reads voraciously but despises reading on the computer because it plays havoc with my eyes. The manuscripts I am constantly reading are converted to pdf and I read them on my Kindle so I can save my eyes by enlarging the font!
Below I've chosen several 'sentences' for specific comments/questions/suggestions.
personalities ranging from barely there to bright orange. Ours registered the brightest of bright orange,
This might need a bit more of an explanation as to why orange is the brightest in your spectrum. I found myself pausing to wonder why orange. I suppose the sun pictured in 'close-up' looks more orange than yellow or red, but the first thing I (personally) think of associated with 'orange' is pumpkins. Then, fall leaves, perhaps. Personality/pumpkin/ (which stream of consciousness led to Jack O' Lanterns/ creepy faces) was kind of a stretch in less than a positive way. Not, I think, your intention.
I am the story keeper LOVED this! I get it. Intrinsically. But then, I, too, am the 'story keeper.' I've pieces in my port entitled this. As well, it resonated on a deeper level because there are those who record the histories and those who make them. Equally important, vital.
I was content to sit at Nanny’s feet, soaking up family history, while the other three were out (there), making theirs. Goes back to what I just said! :) Another line that I truly thought special, tho!
There are only fluctuating shades of normal. Such a brilliantly concise summation of life! Absolute truth!
Suffice it to be said, I'd happily read more of this. I want to read more.
This is coming from Fyn who is a part of WDC. This is coming from the reader who, aside from work, reads every single night. This is coming from a publisher who (unfortunately) wades through a lot of dreck and knows good writing when she sees it.
One of the best aspects thus far is 'your voice' - even memoirs have 'characters.' I do wish I had a bit more of a picture of 'you' - as long before I got to 'Pete, being the only boy' I was wondering what the narrator was. The others were clear - the 'you' was fuzzy like when I've read too much and my eyes can't focus on the words. Easy fix.
Things to ponder as you write. To keep brightly lit albeit in the far back corner. You mentioned 'boomers' liking your work. Yes, I agree. Regardless of where a reader might be, from Texas to Maine to Michigan, I expect folks of a certain age will all have memories sparked by antics in your book simply because we shared that time of freedom kids today haven't a clue about. (SADLY) My kids do, but the grands and the greats seem to be missing out on so much and their lives are so much smaller because of it. (I suppose it could be said that they don't miss what they never had, but when I think of all the missed opportunities for 'epic adventures' it makes me sad.}
And yet, perhaps a book like yours can appeal to those who are so certain that today's ways are the best ways because it might open their eyes to a world that offered so much more on so many levels and somehow, we did indeed turn out 'Just fine, Ma'am, just fine, indeed!'
Every generation seems to look back on the 'good old days.' Perhaps, someday in the future, things will cycle 'round again!
I'll admit, what I read makes me curious to learn more about you, the writer. Enough so that I've 'fan'ed you and will continue to see what else is in your port. 5 stars even with suggestions because this was THAT good. I look forward to reading more. I'm so glad you joined WDC!!!
~fyn
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