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26
26
Review of Visiting Grandma  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Visiting Grandma

Reviewer:GabriellaR45


The Role of Grandparents

This is as lovely a tribute to a grandmother as a grandchild can deliver,
Rachel. I am especially moved by the joy you receive when you express your creativity through writing. This is a glorious example:

"As I looked into my grandmother’s eyes, I caught a glimpse of the woman she once was. She beamed, her whole face brightening and I saw the beautiful debutant, coyly agreeing to dance with my grandfather some fifty odd years ago."

How significant a grandparent's role can be.

A grandchild’ is fortunate to enjoy a bond with grandparents during those precious years from babyhood to the time when grandma talks to her fully grown grandchildren in her role as family historian, mentor. and role model.

Imagine how wonderful it is for the children of a single mother to have
doting grandparents who shape their lives and are major sources of fulfillment. A grandparent can be counted on to share a wealth of experience and wisdom.

The love you express for the grandmother in your story is heart-warming and reminiscent of those many summers my family
of 6 spent with my grandmother in Maine.

Your writing style is gentile. Your Georgia is gracious and she
is a perfect match with your tribute.
The communication Georgia had with her grandmother was
loving in ways that will be lasting.

I felt privileged to sit with Georgia while she visited with her grandmother. As always your writing is first-class, Rachel.

All the best,

G.


27
27
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Title: A Best Selling Book


This story begins with an introduction to a woman who spent many months thinking about and spinning a story in her head. Despite her many efforts to do so, the woman froze the moment she sat down to write. Eventually, she abandoned the story and it was forgotten. Her daughter knew her mother had it in her to write this story and was sad when her mother died without having written a word. The daughter decided to write the story her mother couldn't write.

This story is loving and heart-rending. It has real potential. There are
some errors that need to be fixed to give the story its due. These are suggestions. You'll decide if they are helpful.

You Wrote: She had many hobby's.
*BoxCheckR* Fix: hobby's should be hobbies

You Wrote: She wanted to be known bij people. bij should be by.
*BoxCheckR* Fix: I wonder if the sentence should read: She wanted her book to be widely recognized.

You Wrote: And, have the same lufe she has now.
*BoxCheckR* Fix: lufe should be life.

You Wrote: cleaning out her old roon
*BoxCheckR* Fix: roon should be room

You Wrote: She read all of it
*BoxCheckR* Fix: She read all of it should read: She read it with tears in her eyes.

You Wrote: One year later she was done and she had written the story that her mother couldn't get on paper. She went to a puplisher and published the book

*BoxCheckR* Fix: She wrote the book. When she finished the book a year later, she delivered the manuscript to a publisher who bought the book. When it went into the bookstores, In no time it became a best seller.

It may help to ask a friend to read a story when you continue on to
write more. I found it's easy to miss errors when you read and
reread a story. There comes a time when it's easy to overlook errors.

I like your story and I hope it receives lots of positive feedback once
you've made a few repairs.

All the best,

GabriellaR45
,

28
28
Review of Divide  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)

To Emilee

Your Poem: Divide

Overall Impression

Your great strength is your creative
spirit and your choice of words when you
write about your struggle with the pain of
loss and the mean-spirited behavior of a
malicious other.

"Consume the loneliness with a touch
Take away the burning pain
The one that seems to be too much
Leaving only an eternal stain"

Observations:

I struggled a bit with the role of the
butterflies. However, the
poem communicates what must be
said. I wonder if this young woman
is able to reach out to her friends
so that the "cold of death" isn't
a factor in moving past this loss
if the loss is one that is part of
her off-line life.

Emilee Anne is as lovely a name
as your poetry. I look forward to
visiting your portfolio to read more.

You come from PA. I lived in Chester
County, PA for many years before
moving to Vermont. I have thoroughly
enjoyed meeting you and reading
your poem, Emilee.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

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29
29
Review of Ladybug Beach  
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (5.0)


Howdee Itchy Barn !!


What is itchy in the barn ? Straw, sheep, swarming fleas and flies
or all of the above ? I'd like to know why you chose this name ?

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Ladybug Beach and am astonished
to find that you wrote this when you were 5. It is easy to see, you are
a talented writer. I hope you'll find time to write more poems
when your dad doesn't need you.

I don't think you need to consider remaking your poem, IB !
I still have the first poems I wrote on W.Com. It's fun to
see I've made a little progress. I hope you are able to
dig in to write and make a few young friends here on W.Com
who are also talented.

I particularly like this, *Star* Itchy !
"Once I saw a log on a beach.
As I got closer, I started to reach.
Ladybugs were crawling everywhere!
Some were even in my hair!" *Smile*

Bravo and thanks for sharing your wonderful poem !!
I look forward to seeing your next poem soon. I hope
you'll share it on the Newsfeed so that all of us can
see it. In the meantime, thanks for the good work you
are doing to help your mom and dad on W.Com *Smile*

All the best,

Gabriella

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

.
30
30
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To Vindhya,

Re Your Poem

*Cherries* In My Mother's Arms

These three stanzas are beautiful
and for many of us, reminiscent
of those times in our lives when
a mother's hug was a blessing.

"None can hear
my crying heart.
None can feel
the numbing loneliness

Closing upon me, making
my life a dreary desert.
She alone has the
kind of warmth.

The magical touch to
soothe my grief-stricken
soul, the tearful eyes,
the trembling limbs."

This poem seems to have been written
on the heels of a sad occasion.
It is warm, heartfelt, and a
wonderful tribute to your mother.

Now that I'm a mother and a
grandmother, I love being
a source of encouragement
and support for my daughter
and grandchildren.

How blessed your mother must have
felt to have such a wonderful daughter.
We hold dear those lovely attributes
of love and kindness she passed on to
you, dear Vindhya. *Cherries*
31
31
Review of Expanse  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: GBMaria
Your Story: Expanse

First and Foremost: A warm welcome to you, GB Maria. We're delighted to have you here with us ! I hope you're finding your way around this bustling metropolis comfortably. Should you need guidance or support, I've included a link to Newbie Welcome Wagon. This wonderful service can be extremely helpful for new members.

Overview:

I read this story with great enthusiasm. Throughout this celestial tale, your writing and descriptions caught my attention. The only difficulty I had was reading this large clump of a story without a break. I think your story will benefit if you decide to break it into paragraphs.

I especially enjoyed the description of the family in the small space craft. You paint an beautiful, positive picture of the future when women will serve as world-class astronauts. The beautiful space crafts and the happy family you described served as wonderful introductions.

"By 17, the daughter in this story was deemed as educated as any other elite astronaut in a space program. She could do anything, if she dared. She was her own role model, her own celebrity, her own self. Sitting in the pilot seat of the bridge of the ship, nothing in front of her but the expanse of stars, she smiled and knew, deep in her heart and soul, this is her present. Her future. Her soulmate, Her life. The Hutchins, the parents, were under extreme amount of pressure to find impossible life forms.

Dreaming of a time when many brilliant young women will sit in the pilot's seat of space ships
may not be far off in the distant future. Record-breaking astronaut Peggy Whitson believes this is an exciting time for space exploration. The U.S. space endurance record holder has had many opportunities to discuss the biggest challenges she faced on the space station, and why more women need to lead the future of space flight.

I thoroughly enjoyed this first visit to your intriguing story and portfolio, GBMaria. I expect to return to read more. In the meantime, bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45

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#1814944 by River
32
32
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Your Story: Paris for the Last Time

First and foremost: A warm welcome to you, Phil.
We are delighted to have you here with us !

I hope you are finding your way around this busy writing metropolis.
Below, you will find a link to a program designed for new members like you.
The Welcome Wagon can be extremely helpful, especially if you
need help locating writer's resources, programs or activities.

Re: Your trip to Paris

Your trip to Paris, including the chaos the lost credit card caused,
is well written, Phil. Your story is the epitome of a foreign traveler's nightmare
given this guy's inability to speak or write the language. This has to be a
concern for every traveler who takes a trip to a country where everything
is foreign.

Re: Creating Tension

Re: That one last attempt to grab the money in another account !
It is clear you know how to build a good story. In this story you arranged
to have us sit nervously with your character in front of the
computer while the time allotted to solve this dilemma is running out.

With this story you managed to drew us in to:

Care about and Connect with this character
Worry about the resolution
Keep us on the seat of our chairs throughout the story
Breathe a sigh of relief

While this is a relatively short story, you deserve credit for
having been able to create an uncomplicated nail-biter
without getting derailed from focusing on the imminent
danger.

I hope you will continue on to write more stories, Phil.
I look forward to making a return visit to your portfolio.

PS. I noticed that you submitted this piece to a contest. This review
shouldn't interfere. I hope your story does well, Phil.

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#1814944 by River


GabriellaR45

33
33
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)

To: Jacky aka CliffJack

Your Story: Mr Garret's House

Overview:

This is a refreshing story. It is well written and fun to read.
Jenny, her husband Ted, and their kids. decided to
make an adventure of walking in the woods one day. Of course,
the kids would have preferred to explore on their own.
Instead, Jenny and her husband Ted watched carefully to
be nearby when their kids, while running
full-steam ahead, found a rickety old house.

When they entered the house, there was a squeeky noise in the
first room. It turned out to be a baby mouse stuck behind
a wall board. Jenny and Ted rigged up a tiny ladder
for the baby. With the help of the mother mouse, the
little mouse was able to escape captivity.

The Story's Highlight:

At the end of the story when the family went out to the porch,
the mice followed them. The mother mouse thanked the family for
rescuing her baby. Since we know meeting the family is only a first encounter,
thanks to the bits of language, we were certain this would mean
he'd always love hearing the presence of the ghost of Mr Garrett.

"No problem my friend,” said Mr. Garret’s ghost, smiling as he watched
Ted and Jenny go, “Needless to add" the family ghost spoke
with warmth and kindness. He said: "I think I’m ready to have
some people around again.*sadness*”

I admire this story's format, including the space this author created between
events, communications and the communications
between family members.

Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful story with us,

All the best,

GabriellaR45


34
34
Review of Fears of a Newbie  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (3.5)


To: Alyssa

Re: Your analysis of your writing skills

First and foremost, a warm welcome to you ! We are delighted to have you here with us.

Re: Your Writing

You expressed your concerns well, and you've done a fine job convincing yourself that you have little-to-no writing potential.

Most of all you were convincing

You are not a person who is incapable of expressing yourself, Alyssa. I saw in this piece someone who has potential to overcome your fear that you will never be able to write "a long beautiful sentence."

Like you, I started out here on W.Com

wondering if I'd ever be able to write a simple poem. For a long time, I was certain I couldn't after reading and rereading the poems I attempted to write. I learned from the feedback I received that I couldn't see that my writing isn't terrible. The writing tips and help I have been given made a huge difference. I learned the way forward is to dive in and be willing to take good advice to improve.

Creating Your Own Personal Writer's Journal

If you think it would help, we can show you how to create your own personal writer's journal here on Writing.Com. Your journal can serve as a retreat--an escape for you when you need to exhale and share your frustrations and progress while you are working on writing and moving forward.

You took the first important Step when you signed on

You will find there are many wonderful writers here on W.Com who are encouraging. And, there are a few very special programs set up to provide guidance and support for new members (see below). I hope you will let me know when you are ready to share a story.

I look forward to keeping in touch.

All the best, GabriellaR45


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#1814944 by River

35
35
Review of Random Thoughts  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Shaista, is a new member here on W.Com.

A warm welcome to Writing.Com, Shaista. I hope you are finding your way around
this busy writing metropolis. If you find you need a little help during these first
several months, please feel free to get in touch anytime.

In the meantime, if you haven't already,
be sure to visit:
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#1814944 by River


NOW: Let's Visit Your Poem:

Random Thoughts

First and foremost, you selected a topic for this poem that is universally
experienced and understood. At one time or another, many of us
have been reluctant to share our feelings where doing so feels risky.
Needless to add, we have a saying: "Nothing Ventured/
Nothing Gained." while acknowledging jumping in with both feet isn't easy.

A couple of Questions/Suggestions:

Where you write: "So its better if I remain quite"--quite should be quiet.

Where you write: So its better, its should be it's. (it is).

Where you write: "But by mistake you ever open your mouth, They will throw you out.."
This is an awkward line. Did you intend to say: If you make a mistake-you open your
mouth. When you express your feelings they will throw you out. ?

While deciding not to take this risk is understandable, it is also sad
and it's tempting to become cynical once we adopt the belief that most people
are motivated chiefly by ambition or greed.

Most Important: your poem makes a good case and it shares
an experience that all of us can appreciate. I like this poem
and look forward to reading more of your work.

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45


36
36
Review of I'm not yolking  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Jaelynn

Your Story: I'm not Yolking

You captured service on Sunday in an overpacked restaurant
taking care to focus on the experience rather than providing detailed descriptions
to make your case. The restaurant you chose is typical of a breakfast eatery
expecting to serve breakfast to the masses. The delivery of that all-important
first cup of coffee serves as a much needed buffer.

What you describe is too familiar. While you made me laugh, I was also
mildly nauseated by the frustration and oversight caused by the waitress
who randomly waited on tables, stepping around her obligation to keep
tabs on her customers.

The most appealing feature of your "tale" is its down-to-earth approach and the
"morning after" communications.You remind us that writers and waitresses
should never dawdle.

Nice going, Jaelyn !!



37
37
Review of Doubts  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Greetings. Tess !

A warm welcome to Writing.Com. This is a wonderful
place to write and enjoy making progress as a writer.
Now that you're here, I hope you'll feel free to
keep in touch. I'm here -- always happy to help if you
need directions. suggestions, or a buddy to read a
poem. I'm a mother and a grandmother. I live in
Vermont. I wrote my first poem here in 2006 :)

If you scout around a bit, you'll find:

Angel Army led by iKïyå§ama-BacktoWonderland! She is a wonderful leader
with a special program devoted to providing mentors for
new members on W.Com.

I like your poem, Tess. This is a touching message that many
of us can relate to. When you have a moment, look to
see if these couple of suggestions might be a help:

You wrote: But it's like they trying to stay.
Do you mean: But it's like they are trying to stay

You wrote: I know to God be the glory
But right now I'm having doubts
Do you mean: I know God is our glory.

Just when I thought I was rising to the top
I get knocked back
You wrote: Seems like the devil on the attack
Did you mean: Seems like the devil is on the attack

You wrote: But it's like they trying to stay
Do you mean: But, it's like they are trying to stay

Im trying not to listen
Do you mean I'm trying not to listen

You wrote: Negative voices getting loud.
Do you mean: Negative voices are getting loud

Whether or not you find these suggestions useful,
you are not obliged to change your poem
if you would like to keep it the way you wrote it.

I look forward to reading more of your poems, Tess.
I like your style.

Nice going, Tess. You're off to a
great start *Ribbon*

GabriellaR45



38
38
Review of The Emigrant  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

The Emigrant

A Message: I set out to leave my comments on the Newsfeed and withdrew them because they covered your story.

Your Story:

The Emigrant is great, Robert. You are quick to tell a good story. And, it is clear you have an exceptional ability to read other people. From the moment we learn the family get-together is taking place in Paris, we know this is going to be an eventful gathering. This father is no slouch.

Marshaling Your Characters:

What a good job you've done marshaling your characters to build an
impressive story, Robert. The father, ex-wife, son, and waitress are
pivotal. We're not sure why yet.

The Magic of the Perfume:

You call attention to the mother's good looks. The magic of the Chanel perfume reminds her ex what he is missing. Her choice of perfumes tells us she dresses chicly, donning silk. The little boy is excited to be on board to go to Disney World. And, the waitress is dressed like a canary-another moment when we know this story is going to be colorful.

Providing for his Family:

It is clear the father is the center of this gathering and he is there for a reason we don't know yet. He called on his family to fly to Paris to meet at a Ronald McDonald. We know this father is a powerful man who is also a thinker who is independent and adventurous, willing to strike out on his own to solve a problem. The father has given a great deal of thought to how he will provide for his son and his son's mother when he is gone. When he tells his ex-wife this is his last day on earth.
and he tells her to check her bank balance, we're breathless.

Clearly, this is a man who honors duty before pleasure. I wonder
if he shares your personality.

I know you were hoping for useful feedback, Robert. Needless
to say I have been marginally helpful at best. I wrote to tell you how much I enjoyed this excellent story. I hope the judges agree.

All the best,

G.



39
39
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


To: MdMackey

Re: There Could Be Tigers

Overall:

Needless to say, this is a wonderful story. I read a bit about you
in your portfolio and noticed you consider your writing is "simple and
to the point." This is true. I admire your ability to tell this story
with just enough background and descriptions to paint your characters
and your surroundings sufficiently that we can see and will remember them.

Characters:

While there are three characters--Casey O'Hannon, Jason Cantor, and
the tiger--the story is rich and never feels as limited as your main
character's life is for a time . We want to know this man as
soon as you introduced your lady character to him. I have to admit, I
wondered how much his agoraphobia would limit the story's potential
to be interesting and memorable. I was glad to see your story move past the laundry room.

Dialogue:

This is a story that is built on conversations--not always easy to do. Except for visits to the doctors and Jason's encounter with the tiger, your story's
success depends entirely on your communications. Almost immediately, we
begin thinking about Jason's potential to move beyond his apartment.
I accompanied you on your walks and watched while Jason becomes
absorbed in his conversations with you sufficiently that he enjoys the
walks and slips past his imagined boundaries in ways that are no longer
painful.

The Role of the Tiger

While the tiger is not exactly the most likely way we'd expect Jason
to grow beyond his limitations, I decided his arrival on the scene
is a wonderful metaphor that reminds us "the next time someone tells you that there could be tigers, you had better believe him."

Last but not Least:

Having read that you are "retired after 37 years in healthcare -- caring for individuals with multiple disabilities." It's clear you know about and understand what it is to have a disability like Jason's. Your knowledge
and compassion added considerably to the depth and richness of your
story.

In Closing:

*Star* It is not surprising that this story won a wonderful prize. I bet this won't be the only time this story is recognized !


40
40
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)

To: Jay O'Toole

Another wonderful bear saga....what a treat it is to read this poem, Jay.
Bravo !! Your sense of adventure and the great pleasure you get from
immersing your readers in the emotional and physical challenges this gutsy bear must
contend with slide onto the pages of your stories with remarkable ease.

The following lines from your poem took me back to the chapters
I assume must belong to the first of these two stories. I must admit,
I became hopelessly attached to the father and son bears and would love to go
back to finish reading the remaining chapters one day soon.

Meanwhile, I loved sharing a few minutes of this Quest's journey:
"Quest fell asleep a pile of wounded bear and dusty fur.
He slept for days and woke in muddy rain with life unsure.
These earthen "gloves" cast Quest about in ways that seemed a blur.
This bear felt like a lump of clay pressed down by mud-caked hands
against hard trees and pointy rocks, through soupy, leafy plans.
He screamed for help o'er monstrous winds, unsure he still stood on land"

Your stories are as captivating and charming as you are, Jay. The life
you lead must serve as an endless source of thoughtfulness, good will, and positive
outlooks for your daughter to enjoy and follow.

Needless to add, you create lovely worlds for little bears to tumble into.

Nice work, Jay. This is another 5-star story in the making !


41
41
Review of Angel Whispers  
for entry "Plodding Along
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Scarlett:

I had to leave a comment after looking over and enjoying
reading your blog. I loved and laughed at your description
of your late-night feline visitor. Also, you
shared just enough about your son's visitor and how lovely
she appeared to be, that I will have to return to see if there
is more to this first chapter.

You write beautifully, Scarlett. You get right to the point
without leaving us feeling cheated. While I don't have a blog,
I've read a sufficient number to especially appreciate yours.

Your lovely personality combined with your frankness and
your wonderful outlook contribute a great deal to your
appeal as a blogger *Smile*

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45
42
42
Review of Illness  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings !

Thank you for your wonderful review of my "rain" poem. I've struggled to make it right for months. Each time I think I have it at last, I find a flaw. Not sure it will ever be right *Cry*

Thanks to your kind review, I decided to take advantage of your visit to return the favor by visiting your portfolio. The first poem I read is the one I chose to review. I was preparing for a terrible physical illness until I saw "heart sick." You're right: this is a wrenching illness, sometimes incurable.

This stanza is captivating and especially well written:

"We call it heart sick, heartbreak.
As though it were a wound that mends.
And not a series of scars that show
where you go and where you've been."

You have a fine selection of poems. I look forward to reading more of
your work.

All the best,

GabriellaR45
43
43
Review of Fruit Tarts  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Forgive me--this was written in haste.
This isn't a review so much as it is a note to
acknowledge this gorgeous poem.
An aside: I like the title: "For
Women Everywhere" so much better
than "Fruit Tarts." *Smile*

This poem is remarkably perceptive,
presented with clarity and effectiveness.
This is my top pick of the poems in your
portfolio. It is a poem to be proud of.
It is a wonderful combination of gutsy
and courageous, and unvarnished and
elegant.

(Needless to add, this writer is insightful,
intelligent, and a truth sayer. )

Bravo and warmest best, dear Raven,

N.

Do you know the Bene Gesserit ? --a powerful
ancient order of brilliant women whose
objectives and actions formed the
original group of women who were tremendously
influential in their day.
44
44
Review of My Mind  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)

To: Megan Anna
Re: My Mind

A warm welcome to you Megan Anna !
I hope you are enjoying Writing.Com.
How lucky you are to have a buddy here
to help you navigate this bustling
writer's forum.

This poem is beautifully written, Megan.
You are a talented writer. The ways you
recall feeling trapped makes for
fascinating reading. This calls on us to
dig deep to think about those deep, dark thoughts
we have stored where they are hidden and kept
under lock and key.

I hope you are planning to write more
poetry. I look forward to seeing
future posts.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

.
45
45
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Arqam
Re: Flaws in the Education System

Welcome to Writing.Com, Arqam ! We're delighted to have
you here with us.

Your Essay:

This is thoughtfully crafted and beautifully presented.
You hit on some of the worst shortcomings in our
nation's education systems. We need more of you to point
at these, and take up your concerns with our legislators.
You make a good case for reform.
I hope you go on to write more, Arqam.

Alll the best,

GabriellaR45
46
46
Review of Truth  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Author: Thea Marie
Title: Truth

From a curious fourth grader whose enthusiasm and
curiosity were treated as a nuisance, to become a teacher
who loves having curious children in his classroom, has
to be a great victory.

You righted a wrong in ways that
are gratifying and rewarding for each and every student
in your classroom year after year.

Whether or not this is your story, it is a story that should
be posted in every classroom from 1st to 12th grade.

Bravo, Thea ! This is a delightful story. You told it well.

47
47
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Title: A Few Life Lessons
Chapter: 7: The Quest for Home
Author: Jay O'Toole

Molly Muskrat is charged with teaching Quest how to tie his shoes. This little one with his big bear feet finds it hard to manage this task. He pitches and rolls in an effort to reach and hold onto his shoelaces. Molly grows more impatient each minute. In a moment of frustration, she barks at Quest to scare him into pulling himself together to tie his shoes, causing a serious logjam. Molly's voice is much too loud for the little bear's ears.

This is where the author sends his beloved Ms Julie to rescue Quest. Ms Julie Jaguar wastes no time to send Molly packing rather than allow her to discourage and be unkind to this well-intended little bear who is finding it awkward to put on a pair of shoes. While Quest loves Ms Julie and the school, he develops a twitch over one of his eyes. It is hoped this will disappear as he regains his confidence.

Equally important, the school works at teaching Quest to develop
good eating habits. This is an impressive addition to this little bear's kindergarten education.

"The rest of the year came and went all too quickly for the enjoyment of little boys like Quest. When his Dad picked him up from school on the last day, he cried because he had grown to love his teachers and friends. As luck would have it, summer break means Quest will work with his Dad, and learn more about his dad's plans for him. "Where am I going to school next, Daddy? What do they call the next year after 'Kindergarten'?"

Quest's Dad responds: ""'First Grade." He explains:" this is a time to take a more school-like approach in the way we learn" subjects like arithmetic, writing, history, and a bit of science.. "I have found Carrier Elementary School in the deepest part of the thick forest. Your teacher is a gentle raccoon, named, 'Mrs. Dickerson.' You're really going to love 'First Grade,' Quest. I promise you!"

From the 1st to the 7th chapter, this talented author has shown us how he transports his readers and this adorable bear from one compelling chapter to the next without a glitch. He never overlooks an opportunity to teach this bear some of life's most important lessons, the kind every child should learn one way or another. Jay O'Toole's ability to remain loyal to his book's goal to serve as a powerful magnet for the eyes and ears of young children is his greatest asset.

Bravo, Jay ! Keep up your good work,

Gabriella



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48
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Author: geomayr

Title: It is Well With My Soul

This is a loving account of this family's 92 year-old father's death.
It is heartfelt, real, and considerate. It is also a time when one
family member's sadness includes not having done more for their father.
There are always moments at a time like this when regrets and hard
feelings can surface. Eventually, those worries are replaced by good
will. In this case, love of family draws the mother and siblings
together to sing and pray at their father's bed before he is moved
to the morgue. "The lyrics flowed as Mama, Hannie and Dodong joined me singing:

When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea, billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well; it is well, with my soul.”


"When your parent finally finds peace, you realize that your parent is still teaching you about life."


49
49
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Yesmrbill

Re: Harborfields High School
Class of ’63, 50th Anniversary Reunion

This is an excellent description of your high school reunion. It must
have been especially gratifying to see the blending of a large group of
once -boys- and girls, to see the now-much-older men and women, who have mellowed and appreciate that they are mostly healthy, together again, and grateful to experience 1st-hand what the passing of time and life experiences have wrought.

"Another thing. While we are all 68 years old, have grey hair and some wrinkles, everyone I saw was filled with vitality. We are very healthy people; in very good shape for our age. I know I’m in much better physical shape than my father was at this age. The same can be said about most of my former classmates, who I met there. I don’t remember any of them having trouble moving. While many of us have some memory problems, they are very minor."

This is a wonderful report ! You approached it with a positive outlook,
an overall sense of your current value, and your worth-sharing life experiences. Thank you for sharing another of your well written pieces,

Yesmrbill

All the best,

Gabriella
50
50
Review of Smashed Potatoes  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


To: Yesmrbill
Re: Smashed Potatoes

This is a wonderful story ! We learn at the outset that you are a talented writer. You write with ease, and an ability to describe the story's backdrop as though you were right there. Most impressive, you write armed with a fine sense of humor.

Where the amusing conversations are concerned, your timing, and ability to emulate broken English are fine features of this tale. We read this is a story
that has been passed down through your father's family. I laughed and enjoyed every moment of this timeless tale.

I must add, your characters spoke and responded in ways that were just right for the situation. I particularly enjoyed the description of Aunt Marie.
Last but not least, your story is polished--minus errors--in ways that your readers are bound to appreciate. For this, you deserve praise. I hope you will go on to write more delightful stories.

Keep up the good work ! I look forward to returning to read more !

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45

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