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Graham, this is a fascinating story. I loved
reading it and following Sadie's progress.
You chose a wonderful topic and you handle the
nuancss of this story beautifully. I am totally absorbed. There are small type-os throughout that need
a little attention, but honestly the story is
strong enough as is that fixing the type-os and cleaning up an occasional sentence is relatively unimportant. Bravo, Graham ! This story is unusual
and fun to read. It's refreshing. I look forward to
the next chapter !! Best of luck with your story.
I hope you're able to submit it where it will
get the most possible exposure and attention.
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is another beauty, Tosca !
Charming, incredibly funny and right
on the money, Tosca !
You are a writer with a
broad brush and a remarkable
ability to write about
almost anything comfortably.
Thank you for sharing this.
I can't imagine changing a word !
I hope you'll fill your portfolio
with a mountain of poetry and
wonderful prose. I'll be back
to read more. Warmest best,
Gabriella
Tosca, This is a quirky wonderful poem !
What you describe is so familiar and
delightfully stated. I laughed out loud as
I read it. I love your humor and your writing.
You're a super talented writer, Tosca.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I'm
going to come back for another visit
to read more very soon. Warmest best,
Gabriella
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This is a sweet wonderful poem ! It's such a loving lette-poem and tribute to your mother. I hope you've shared it with her. I feel sure she'll be thrilled !!
Here are a couple of suggestions. You'll decide
if they are helpful:
1) remove "are" from the 2nd line
2) remove the second "the" from the 3rd line
3) change inspirer to inspiration
4) remove "So" from the 8th line and "And" from the 9th
5) replace "Look at the" with Your beauty blossoms...
6) women is plural. Think if there is a more
meaningful word to put in the place of woman in
the line that reads: "You are woman"..I'd add
the final couple of words to the line before.
You know your poem best. I trust your take on
how it should feel and look. Feel free to follow
your sense of which if any of my suggestions are helpful. Best of luck with this piece and with your poetry. You have real ability, Pascale.
Steph, this is a wonderful poem, written from your husband's point-of-view. I love your poetry. I peeked at a few of your poems and decided to focus on this one to officially review. I see you've written and published a book too. What a great accomplishment, Steph. Bravo !! I look forward to returning to read more :) Warmest best to you, Gabriella
David: this poem is stunning !
You write beautifully and with
such depth and conviction. It's a hurting
poem written by a Dad who misses
his daughter terribly. This is such a
tough experience. I feel sure
she'll find her way back to you as
she gets a grip on her life and
feels strong enough to return on her terms.
She's doing what lots of young
people her age do. Keep your chin
up. Meanwhile, this is a very fine
poem. I look forward to visiting
your portfolio to read more. I'm sure I'll
appreciate your work. Till then.
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is a particularly luxurious &
beautiful poem. I love the "rustle of
silk in your voice" ! That it
"softens this troubled ear"
and dispells worry and pain,
is wonderful. You have real ability !
It's been such a treat to make my way through
your poetry in your portfolio. I couldn't stop
till I carved out time to read most
of your poems :) Thank you for sharing
your work. I loved reading much of your
poetry segment of your portfolio.
I wish you all the best.
Your talent is clear and important, Coco.
I'm so delighted to have this chance
to get to know and appreciate your
talent. Thank you !
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is clever, well written,
and surprisingly current. I
like and agree with your
appraisal of both the Republican
and Democratic stance in this
situation :) Now, we'll have
to see how the Democrats perform
with the party's new found
power and potential. You have a
real gift, Bob Morgan. I hope
you'll fill your portfolio with
a mountain of wonderful writing. I'm glad
you're here. And, I look forward to
reading more of your work.
Best of luck with this editorial
and your writing !
Warmest best, Gabriella
Sam, this is a striking poem. It addresses
a very important issue. It is articulate
nicely expressed and outspoken. You speak with comfortable authority and credibility. I'm so glad to have had a chance to read this poem. I particularly
like the stanza that begins with " We
marched into that land and a war we did wage."
The poem is laced with your
disappointment and distress. I appreciate
your perspective and your disappointment that
in the end "we will have helped no one."
Thank you for sharing your poetry. I hope
to see more of your work. Glad you're here
and continuing to write. All the best, Gabriella
This is the poem I enjoyed most
as I made my way through your
wonderful collection of poetry.
This poem is extremely well
wrtten, fascinaating, thoughtful and
complex. It's like a dream-haunting
and disconcerting. It hovers
over paintful recollections
with trepidation and a sense of
yearning and loss. Thank you for sharing your
poetry. I hope you're as proud of this poem
as I was delighted to have
read it. My hope is that you'll
keep on writing poetry. If this
poem is an indicator, you have a great
future. Warmest best,
Gabriella
This is another beauty !
I love these tiny poems.
You paint lovely pictures
with words. It's clear that
you are especially
talented at writing these
small poems. You've written
several. I hope you enjoy
creating them as much as
I've enjoyed reading them. You choose
your words so well. This is a
very fine poem. Thank you for
sharing it. Warmest best,
Gabriella
You write these tiny powerful
poems so well ! Thank you for
sharing this work. It's really
lovely. You have real ability.
I hope you'll fill your
portfolio with a mountain of
poetry. Your writing ability
needs to take flight. Warmest
best with it, Gabriella
Another beautiful small poem, this
time, a Haiku. Bravo !! I love the
sentiment you express and your
wonderful choice of words. I hope you'll
write much more poetry. Looking
forward to seeing more of your work !
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is a wonderful sensual poem. In the space of one complete line, you express a powerful message. I loved reading this poem. I'm especially pleased to be able to wander around your portfolio for a little bit, selecting from your gorgeous poetry, a few poems to read and review. Thanks so much for sharing your work. It's a treat to read. Warmest best, Gabriella
You've written a very fine poem that draws us in to share your haunting experience and the terrible void and sadness related to the break-up of a very special relationship. You communicate your sense of loss with all of its anguish and pain, in deeply touching terms.
You question with obvious disappointment how you could have been so misunderstood, having given yourself to this special man in ways that you can't undo. It's a time for tears and giving into the pain. Soon the pain will subside and life will begin anew. Your poem captures the terrible lonliness and loss that accompanies this kind of painful separation. I hope you'll keep on writing. It is wonderful visiting your portfolio and reading your poetry. Thank you for sharing it. Warmest best,
Gabriella
This is a unique and very
well written story. I
read every word with great
anticipation. You finished
with a wonderful unexpected
ending. I love this piece
and your quirky story. It's
imaginative, nicely structured,
thoughtfully written and
appropriately spare while
also being interesting and fun
to read. It's very compelling. You did a
great job with this. I can't
think of anything you could
do to make it better :)
Bravo !! I hope you'll write
much more. I'm looking forward
to seeing the next story. You
have real ability ! Warmest best,
Gabriella
This is really wonderful.
It's beautifully written
and a treat to read. You
really scored a home run
with this handsome profile
of your father, with whom
you have a special relationship.
I'm so glad to have had
this chance to read a little
of your work. I can't think
of anything I'd do to change it.
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is a sheer delight to read !
It's such a loving tribute to
a wonderful daughter from her doting
father. It's a deeply touching
letter, one I hope you'll keep
for her. It's especially lovely
to read your description of the
relationship you enjoy with your daughter.
She'll always be your little girl,
no matter how tall, grown up, or
how many years fly by.
It's wonderful being a parent
and oh so humbling, isn't it.
Thank you for sharing your poem.
It's a beauty !! All the best,
Gabriella
I write poetry and short stories. Your poll is
fun and interesting. I had no idea how much
company I have in what otherwise seems like a
a relatively small world :) I hope to get back to
look at some of your work ! Gabriella
This is a fabulous poem written
by a talented writer who writes
so comfortably and articulately.
Bravo !! I love this poem. It's full
of passion, it's fluid and beautifully
expressive. Your style and your
message are compelling. I loved
reading every word ! Thank you
for sharing your poetry. I hope
you fill your portfolio with a
of mountain of wonderful
poems. You have the potential to
do great work. Warmest best,
Gabriella
A perfect pearl of a poem.
I can't imagine changing a single word.
Your poem is beautifully
articulate and compelling.
The message is a right on the money.
Your self awareness is glorious
and refreshing. Bravo !
Warmest best, Gabriella
This poem is one of the most
touching in your portfolio. It's also one
of the most fluid and comfortably
written, which is what makes it appealing and
deserving of a higher rating. In your
plea for space during those times when
anger flares, it advocates for making room
to cool down as an alternative to
knee-jerk anger that often produces
suffocating moments. I hope you receive a lot of
positive feedback for this poem, Sunshine.
A couple of suggestions:
1)Change runaway to run away (3rd line, 1st stanza)
2)Change "mad" to angry (2nd line, 2nd stanza)
3)Change its to it's 1st line, 3rd stanza)
4) Runaway is two words: run away (3rd line, 3rd stanza).
Good luck with this poem, I hope you do well with it.
I've enjoyed visiting your portfolio. I'll enjoy returning again to read more of your work.
Warmest best to you, Gabriella
This is a wonderful tribute to your
memory of your grandmother. Mine was
exceptional woman too. Not every grandma
is such a dream grandparent. How lucky we
are to have been blessed with
special ones ! I loved reading your
sense of how special your grandmother
was. That you have selected a rock from
her beloved garden to keep is very touching.
I'm delighted to have had this
precious introduction to your grandmother.
She was clearly one in a million !
Warmest best, Gabriella
This is a such a touching sad poem.
It has the feeling of a ballad, especially
after reading the last stanza. I'm so
sorry for your loss. This has to have been
such a sad event in the life of your family,
particularly your mother. I hope
it helps to write about it. I'm sure
you'll receive positive support for this poem.
A couple of suggestions for you. You'll decide if
they are useful:
1) Place a period at the end of the 2nd line;
2) I wonder if it would help to say: He
couldn't see that his days were numbered ?
3) I suggest removing "even" from the 4th
line in the 1st stanza;
4) Not sure about "He didn't have much but
what he had"...it's an incomplete thought.
What did he do with what he had ? Did he
appreciate what had--his mother's love etc--
or did he squander what he had ?
I hope these couple of suggestions are helpful.
The poem is a fine one, even better with a tiny
bit of work. You and your poem are worth the
effort to prepare it for the best possible
reviews and ratings.
Best of luck with this poem and your writing.
Thank you for sharing this poem with
me. I know this has been a difficult time for
you and your family. You certainly did a fine
job pushing a bit of your loss onto the page
with your writer's pen.
What a loving poem and incredible
tribute to your marriage and your
wife !! This poem is so well written,
and beautifully articulate.
You are a talented writer. What woman
alive wouldn't love to be on the receiving
end of this love letter !
Looking forward to returning to read
more of your work soon. Best of luck
with your writing.
Gabriella
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