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176
176
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)



To: Janet E Hammer
Re: "Hi There all you wonderful people !"


Dear Janet,

I see you're a night-owl like me *Smile* I found you in W.Com's "Noticing Newbies."
I read your introductory message with great pleasure. I noticed that you celebrated your birthday
on August 16. Sounds like you had a wonderful time with good friends. A belated warm welcome
to Writing.Com, Janet...and Happy Birthday to you too. I hope 2018 is a wonderful productive
year for you.

Your introductory piece tells us that you carry the weight of a troubled childhood.
I hope you will be able to trade some of the sadness from your past for a warm, gratifying
experience here on W.Com, with new friends who are encouraging and kind.

It is comforting to read that you have been published, Janet. This must mean you are
a determined writer. Clearly, you are in the right place if you are hoping to
pursue your dream to publish a book. *Smile* We have a first-class novel workshop
here on W.Com. I know you will enjoy checking it out.

In the meantime, if you need help of any kind, don't hesitate to ask.
Keep on writing, Janet *Smile*

Warmest best,

GabriellaR45

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177
177
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Pk Arianne
Re: Year Comes with the Birth of the Flowers


Greetings !

A warm welcome to Writing.Com, PK ! I hope you are finding your way around this busy writer's metropolis :) If you find you need a bit of help, don't hesitate to ask. You will find many wonderful friends here. These writers are kind, caring people who love to write.

Your Poem:

I love this poem, PK ! You are a talented writer. This poem is gracious and beautifully articulate. I read it several times, enjoying it more with each reading. I hope you will continue on to write more poems. I expect to check back to see how you're doing.

Minutiae Matters:

One small error: In this line: "The year has finally started for the likes such as I. Some things will never change"...I suggest you replace "such as I" with the likes of me.

And a question: I wondered about this phrase..."the scent of memories was brought by soft blows." I wondered if you meant the memory of those sweet scents ?? You'll decide if this is helpful.

Bravo and warmest best,

GabriellaR45


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178
178
Review of In The Meadow  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

To: Jacquin Schamus
Your Poem: In the Meadow


Greetings !

A warm welcome to Writing.Com, Jacquin ! I hope you're finding your way around this bustling writer's metropolis. Don't hesitate to ask if you need a bit of help navigating this place.

Overview:

Your poem is magnificent, Jacquin. I read it again and again. It's beautifully
poetic and elegantly written. It is both touching and descriptive in ways
that are at once, wrenching and sensitive. You are a talented writer.
I hope you will go on to write many more poems !

Minutiae Matters:

A couple of questions for you: Did you mean ball or bawl--to weep noisily ?
What does the word "spout' mean near the close of your poem ?

Bravo and warmest best,

GabriellaR45

179
179
Review of Elinor, Take 2  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


To: Diane
Re: Elinor, Take Two


The Big Picture:

This is a wonderful story, Diane. I read your introduction in "Noticing Newbies." I must say, I'm impressed that you made the leap from writing for business to creative writing, a remarkably smooth one. The writing you've accomplished over the years has clearly played a part in your ability to write stories like this. The trade you made from carrying a calculator to writing this first story while riding the train to NYC or spending long hours sitting at your computer through the night, has produced great results :))

You seem to have made the transition from a city girl to a sage suburbanite *Smile*--a remarkably comfortable one. You are smart and articulate, Diane. You have achieved a level of confidence in the work you have accomplished over the years that has to have been a help in more ways than one.

Up Close and Familiar:

Your description of this young woman's personal crisis is compelling and it rings true. This story took place in an era when becoming pregnant out of wedlock was a humiliating experience. It was not uncommon for a teenage mother-to-be to be sent off to live in a home for unwed women--more often than not, an unappealing place where young women lived until their babies were born and very quickly handed over to couples whose identities the agencies were required by law to guard and protect And, while this young woman went on with her life, she forgave her parents for forcing her to do what they wanted, but she never forgot.

Ergo:

I have nothing to add to your story, Diane. You're off to a great start with this piece. I hope you go on to write many more stories. You have real ability. This is an enthralling first piece, Diane. I look forward to reading more of your work. In the meantime, welcome to Writing.Com. I hope you're enjoying this writers forum almost as much as I did very soon after I joined Writing.Com. I know you'll develop wonderful friendships here. Most of these writers are kind, encouraging, and supportive.

Warmest best to you,

GabriellaR45

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180
180
Review of Petredescent  
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (4.0)


Petredescent by: VivianSiren

A Warm Welcome to Writing.Com, Vivian !
Reading your poetry is a great way to begin the process
of getting to know you. I hope to come back to read
more. *Smile*

This is a beautiful long, complex poem. Each line has been written with great care. This is an elegant poem from
format to your message !

And, while these lines are taken out of context, I particularly like:

"dalliance between darkness and dusk:"
"deep within the crevices, there was a stranger amidst the ignorant'

"The onlookers became sleepless and miserable
When their lethargic grimaces confronted upwards,
The fatigued physiognomy were glass mirrors to the sky's transparency"

"The foolish idealists glimpsed at the nocturnal hour
And saw a dimension of possibilities
When the two thunders clustered in a clap,
They only heard a round of applause
When the tide quavered in dividends,
They only felt a waterfall
But deep within the crevices, there was a stranger amidst the ignorant
A hound in the hills, a lone wolf in the wild"


"Now glimmering through the dusk and ran slack at dawn
The sallow abyss was dented in
With violet stars that clasped onto the night
And glistened upon its aflame underlip
And even when the night was hushed of howls,
The reticence was still ruptured"

I read your poem over 3 times. I will read it again.
It is a wonderful experience enjoying the
way you string your words together to send us
an important message. There are many in this poem. !

One writer on W.Com refers to this author as
very much in the genre of T.S. Eliot. Nice going *Smile*

All the best,

GabriellaR45




181
181
Review of My Poetry  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


My Poetry: Jay O'Toole

Jay: this is a lovely old fashioned poem.
It is sentimental and sweet.

Calling on all of our senses

*Star* The Sounds of Brass
*Star* The taste of Honey
*Star* A Tender Kiss
*Star* Cigar's most Tender Cloud

The faculties of sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch.

As always you speak from the heart.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem, Jay !
Not sure why, I thought of Percy Bysshe Shelley
when I read this poem. Maybe- the rhythmic
flow of your poem. *Smile*

All the best,

Gab

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182
182
Review of Curiosity  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Poem: Curiosity

Who is the Poet?


 
STATIC
Zeke  (E)
An in memoriam form poem about Zeke's courage following his stroke - for Zeke
#2105929 by Christopher Roy Denton

I spent a little time looking through his portfolio to learn a bit about Zeke. I found a beautiful poem written about this poet who has hurdled his share of tough challenges and has met them with dignity and grace. This tribute to Zeke, written by Robert Baker, tells us a great deal about Zeke's courage, and the faith that he leans on during tough times.

What this Poem is about:

Zeke, this is a wonderful poem. I can't imagine a life without
curiosity, challenges, taking risks, regularly trying something
new, and hurdling road blocks. Writers combat apathy,
learn how to climb the publishing learning curve, and we
embrace helpful criticism. Writers are a special breed. We
live with daily ups and downs and we prevail.

The Mood of the Poem:

"Curiosity’s gift
Adding zest to your life
Causing you to wonder
Will there be good or strife."

And, I will remember this:

"So revel in puzzles
And possible meanings.
For they are the center
And spice of our beings."

Rhythmical movement of the Poem:

I read the poem from line to line with great ease.
It doesn't matter that some lines rhyme and others
don't. The rhythm of the poem is what carries us
through. We are not distracted by the use of
an awkward word or line. The message is clear.
We learn a great deal about
the poet and his outlook from this poem and its
positive message.

In Closing:

I've enjoyed my visit to your portfolio and hope you'll
continue on to write more poetry. Your words seem
to slip easily onto the page, Zeke. I admire your talent.

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45

183
183
Review of KEYBOARD  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB**TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB*



Dear *StarfishP* Sonali,

I LOVE your Keyboard ! This is a gorgeous poem and a
wonderful format. I stopped by to wish you HAPPY 10th
W.Com Anniversary, my friend. This is the first item I
opened. I look forward to reading more *Smile*

You've been one of my heroes on W.Com, always interested
in what your friends and colleagues are doing. You are
a one-person marching band, cheering us on. W.Com
is better for your involvement and participation, dear Sonali.

Here's to another decade filled with good company and
great accomplishments to match your first decade on
W.Com.

Warmest best,

Gab



.*TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB* *TrophyB*
184
184
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)


The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales

Overview: This is a fascinating article, Megan. I learned a great deal about the Brothers Grimm. This article tells us that the Brothers Grimm had native writing talent from the start. I particularly enjoyed:

"In the Grimm's original "Snow White", the evil stepmother is forced to dance in red hot iron shoes until she falls dead. This would be offensive to young children and that part was edited. At the time, Jacob and Wilhelm were viewed as patriotic folklorists, not entertainers of children. Germany had been overrun by the French and Napoleon and were suppressing local culture. The Brothers
Grimm were trying to save the endangered oral tradition of Germany. They were serious scholars of medieval literature and were loved for the tales they spun. "

Your article inspired me to learn more about the Brothers Grimm. I discovered there was a movie made about their lives in 2005.

https://www.miramax.com/watch?v=p5bXluZjr8zeiMuvba...

The great merit of Wilhelm Grimm is that he gave the fairy tales a readable form without changing their folkloric character. The results were threefold: the collection enjoyed wide distribution in Germany and eventually in all parts of the globe; it became and remains a model for the collecting of folktales everywhere; and the Grimms’ notes to the tales, along with other investigations, formed the basis for the science of the folk narrative and even of folklore. To this day the tales remain the earliest “scientific” collection of folktales.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful introduction to the Brothers Grimm, dear Megan. As always, I love your beautiful artwork !

Warmest best,

Gab


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185
185
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The Story of When War Ended:

A Tolkien Story:

When I read the title of this story, I wondered if this is Tolkien's Arlen and Aragon. After his father was killed battling orcs, Aragorn was sent to live in Rivendell with his mother, Gilraen. Around his twentieth year, as he walked in the woods singing a part of the Lay of Lúthien, he witnessed the beauty of Arwen for the first time, clad in a mantle of silver and blue. Mistaking her for Lúthien, he called to her, and, from that moment on, loved only her. Gilraen warned Aragorn of the folly of his love for Arwen, a high-born elf such as she was. Aragorn soon left Imladris, and for thirty years fought against Sauron on whatever front which was deemed necessary.

In his forty-ninth year, after years of strife and toil, he wished, once again, to be at peace. He came into Lórien, not knowing that Arwen also was there, and stayed with her for a season. "It then that Arwen first beheld him again after their long parting; and as he came walking towards her under the trees of Caras Galadhon laden with flowers of gold, her choice was made and her doom appointed." On Cerin Amroth, in the midst of Lórien they plighted their troth looking toward the shadow of the east and the twilight of the west."

Your Story, Walknbird:

I read your story with great interest in an attempt to piece together
what I recall with the story you tell. I enjoyed every word. The story the father retells is fascinating and delightful to read, especially when the children chime in with questions. Clearly, they have heard the story many times before. Their curiosity seems to be what fuels their father's zest for telling this tale. You are a talented story teller, Walknbird. You put a great deal of effort into creating a compelling story.

I enjoyed my visit to your portfolio and look forward to returning to
read more.

All the best,

GabriellaR45

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186
186
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


How I Came to Drive the Disney Monorail

Overview

IZ: I must confess I started to read your story well after midnight, having promised a friend I would review for Power Reviewers to support this fine program this weekend. I was fighting off sleep as I sat at my computer to begin reading your story. It is down-to-earth delightful and fun to read, IZ. I read it with great pleasure, enjoying all of the asides as much as I enjoyed your adventure on the monorail. I can only imagine what would have happened to the lazy primary driver's job if Disney caught him trading places with his passengers. Still, it sounds like you had a great time. Imagine being able to tell your family you drove the monorail *Laugh* I know how my mother would react. She'd be one step short of having a stroke.

My Impressions:

What I liked almost as much as your story about driving the monorail, is the fact that you enjoy alone time and, in fact you must have some as you traverse your way through each day. I come from a family of 6. I loved any excuse I could find to escape to my room to climb up on the windowsill to read. Occasionally, a friend and I would slip out of our houses late at night when our families were sleeping, to enjoy the most peaceful part of each 24 hours. To this day, I love the night. It is tranquil and quiet. And the moon is beautiful.

Back to your story: did you keep the photo that was taken of you in the driver's seat on the mono-rail? Your photo is the only item that is missing from this wonderful, well written story *Smile* You have a lovely sense of humor, IZ. This adds a great deal to your story.

Nice work, IZ. You write well and tell a good story !

All the best,

GabriellaR45


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187
187
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Down Through the Looking Glass

Overview:

I thoroughly enjoyed your poem, Carly. As you look through the Looking Glass, I am taking a ride down memory lane, recalling Alice's wonderful and whacky adventure. Alice's safety is your main concern. You remind us she is looking to escape, to avoid contact with the Red Queen and the knights and pawns who "await to make their moves--to carry out the Queen's grizzly orders." The poem ended as Alice thinks how she will climb out of the rabbit hole to return to all that is normal."

Observations:

Your poem is nicely formatted and I'm happy to point out, there are no type-os or misspellings. This is a huge plus, Carly. You've done a good job and you've given Alice's fan club here on W.Com a great treat with your poem.

Bravo and all the best, Carly,

Gabriella

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188
188
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


To: Espero

Re: Your Book Review:

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

While I haven't reviewed these reviews, I couldn't resist this opportunity to share how much I enjoyed reading your book review. It is well written and thorough. I'm impressed, Espero ! You covered the waterfront with your review. I was delighted to read that you enjoy Anthony Doerr's writing. This is his 4th book. I read that he hadn't written a book in four years. When this book came out, it received a half dozen of the most prestiguous book awards in 2016. Most important of all, the book received a Pulitzer Prize for fiction.

I appreciate how connected you were to this book where the two primary characters are a young blind girl and a German orphan boy who was selected to attend a brutal military academy to make use of his engineering skills. The girl's father takes his daughter to live with relatives when the German's invade Paris. He carries with him a precious blue stone that belongs to the Museum he works for to keep it from being stolen by the Germans.

I had forgotten this: "The war nears and the museum packs up it's valuables. They make three copies of the Sea of Flames stone and send them off with museum employees. No one knows who has the original one. Marie-Laure and her father leave France and find their way to a reclusive uncle where they take up refuge."

I am so pleased that you enjoyed this poignant book. I found your review absorbing and beautifully written. This is a 5-star book review. You point out Doerr's remarkable ability to develop characters. I must admit, I thought Doerr must be German. He drew us in to sit by his side while he writes about Nazi occupied France. All of Doerr's descriptions are substantial and beautifully crafted. Later, I discovered that Doerr was born and raised in Cleveland. He now resides in Boise, Idaho-- a huge leap from Europe in World War II.

I thought you'd like to know how Doerr is described by a
fellow author. "Anthony Doerr sees the world as a scientist, but feels it as a poet. He knows about everything—radios, diamonds, mollusks, birds, flowers, locks, guns—but he also writes a line so beautiful, creates an image or scene so haunting, it makes you think forever differently about the big things—love, fear, cruelty, kindness, the countless facets of the human heart." Clearly, Doerr has a great deal in common with his character, Werner.

With admiration,

Gabriella

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189
189
Review of Lost!  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)


SilverRaven:

Overview:

This is a tragic story, one that is familiar. My daughter lost her dad this way. He was her rock. It has taken a year or more for her to begin to feel like her old self. I don't know if your story is based on a real event. If not, you reported on the goings-on with Aleeya's Mom with sensitivity and an understanding of what it meant to the daughter to watch her beloved mother pass away. You are perceptive and you told this story well, Raven.

Suggestions for you to Consider:

Instead of "laid" use lay. Correct: She lay there thinking.
Try replacing "When they finally got home" with: When they were able to go home. Note: You used "finally" twice in 2 back-to-back sentences. Remove "But" in the second sentence, third paragraph. Also in the third paragraph, try changing "stood up, went to her mother's side" to: Aleya stood at her mother's side, crying, Raven.

I see you are a new member here on W.Com. A warm
welcome to you, Raven. Let us know if you need help
as you find your way around this remarkable forum.

Warmest best.

GabriellaR45


190
190
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Maryann,

What a wonderful night this must have been !! Imagine having a formal book launch at the library *Smile* This is a charming account of a very special event. How nice it must have been to have your daughter step up to plan the evening's activities ! You share this account of the night your book, Honey Dew was introduced to the community and in the process, you managed to reignite the excitement that accompanied selling your book for your readers. How wonderful that you sold 24 copies of the book to 30 guests !

I see that you've been here on W.Com since 2015. It's great to meet you, Maryann. I hope you're enjoying W.Com. This is a wonderful writers forum. I've had fun visiting your portfolio and look forward to returning to read more !

Warmest best,

GabriellaR45

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191
191
Review of The Island of WDC  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Travelogue: The Island of WDC

Angel:

A Hot Air Balloon ride is amazing. Imagine climbing into an oversized picnic basket to ride high above the earth without a seat belt or a parachute ! Floating in the air without the sound of an engine is surreal and dreamlike. What a wonderful venue you've selecting to tour W.Com to discover what is here and what you haven't had a chance to explore yet.

Your visit included:

The Village of Blink
The Village of Out of the Fog
Personification
Stormy's Newsletter
Scream City
Rising Stars
The Town of Say it in Six
Tweet me a Story
Team GB PWW Coffee Shop Campfire
Flash Fiction
Writer's Cramp
Music Drabble
Bard's Tale
Lighthouse Poetry
Whispers of the Soul

How wonderful it must have been to explore much of W.Com without the sound of traffic. Your regal balloon with all of its majesty is undertaking a grand tour. We don't think of the city of W.Com as over-populated despite its population of over 1,000 members because the population ebbs and flows day to night and night to day from Australia to the United States and the castle occupied by Mistress and Master Story who live and work in Lehigh Valley, PA.

I like your ending, Angel: "Now it's time for me to return home, I ponder the colours of the patchwork quilt that has laid beneath me, on the textures that I've seen and felt, storms, fog, clouds, beautiful nature and the more inward things such as notebooks and writing. Each has their place on this beautiful island and there are still places for me to explore, it's growing too, of course, it has to, to accommodate all who live there and all the visitors. Wow, what a day it's been. Maybe I can do it again one day when I've explored just a little more of WDC."

This was fun to read, Angel. I applaud you for your preparation work. This travelogue is well written. I appreciate that you arranged for an absence of misspellings and typos. Great work, Angel. Keep on writing !!

GabriellaR45


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192
192
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Rising to the Challenge: The Boston Tea Party-An Expensive Cup of Tea

This is fine reporting. I can't imagine what 92,000 pounds of tea floating on the water in Boston harbor looks like ! Your account covers the high points of the day efficiently. The image of men disguised as indians used to avoid being recognized while massive amounts of tea was being dumped in the harbor must have appeared awkward, if not entertaining and demeaning. The controversies around the taxing of teas exported from Great Britain to America seem to be ongoing with the exception of "The so-called Tea Act from May 10, 1773, a law granting the Company the right to directly ship its tea to the Colonies and the right to the duty-free export of tea from Britain. The tax they avoid this way is three pence per pound of tea."

Finally: You left us hanging which is good reporting:

"The beginning of the end?

Will we hear about repercussions from the British Government? Insiders say this can be the beginning of a harsh and unprecedented confrontation between Great Britain and the Thirteen American Colonies. We will keep you updated."


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193
193
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)


The Boston Tea Party: Large Cup of Tea for Fish

Bravo for producing an animated report of this memorable event ! Your strong point is the impressive amount of interviewing you do. Your report is full of intriguing observations, humorous comments, and generous descriptions. It is too long when we think of how much room is available for covering even the most newsworthy events in a big city newspaper. Contemporary newspaper reporting is all about producing the most dynamic coverage with maximum efficiency. Still, your report makes for fun reading. You did a fine job capturing the event. Even the newspaper's most demanding readers will find this a delightful account.

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194
194
Review of HUMANITY  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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 HUMANITY  (E)
Rich , poor. Strong , weak. Equality is humanity.
#2099121 by kv


Kv:

I admire your ability to communicate your
message with a few well placed words. This poem
is wise and thought-provoking. It comes with a
powerful message. You write with you own voice.
It has a quirky feel. The wisdom you exude is
found at the very end--after we've read the poem
all the way through to the last word.

I particularly like this stanza:

So many different things to see.
So many creatures in this sea.
Some float.
Some have boat.
Destiny is real , guaranteed.
Here I write and you read.

I admire your wisdom and your work. I look
forward to returning to read more of your
writing. I see you've been here for just one week.
Welcome to Writing.Com ! I know you'll
do well here. You have real ability !

All the best,

GabriellaR45


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195
195
Review by GabriellaR45
Rated: E | (4.0)
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 My College Application   (E)
Hi! Could you guys please help me with this? What should I add or take out?
#2099376 by jbrittpetty


Dear Jbritt,

The substance of your piece:

After reading this college application statement, I wonder why you refer to your mother as "bad" --criminal versus chronically mentally ill. She may be a schizophrenia with a major affective disorder or a stress disorder that is responsible for her inability to control her impulses. Since you are submitting your statement to the college, I would suggest describing your mother as sick. I wonder if she has been diagnosed adequately.

My suggestion is you shift gears to find out what illness or combination of illnesses your mother suffers from. She is all over the map, doing what she does, sometimes she breaks the law. You say she doesn't understand the consequences. If your mother is seriously ill, she isn't at fault. Has she been under the care of a psychiatrist ? I thought about the admission officer who will read your description of your mother as a criminal and/or bad person, I think you'd be wise to veer away from portraying her as evil or bad to describe her as sick with moments of clarity, and many more moments of reckless over-the-top behavior.

Have you asked to talk to a doctor about your mother ? It may be that your dad and step-mother haven't wanted to burden you with the medical reports that spell out your mother's illness. Stop labeling your mother as a bad person till you know more.

Best of luck with your college application,

GabriellaR45



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196
196
Review of A Run in the Rain  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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 A Run in the Rain  (E)
A man runs down a path when he soon realizes there is more going on than a simple run.
#2099281 by dougo


Dear Dougo:

Welcome to Writing.Com ! I see you joined us on October 1.
From the look of your portfolio, you've already posted a
couple of pieces, and you've set up your portfolio nicely.
It's great to see your photo, Duogo, and it was a special
treat to read a bit about you.

I read "A Run in the Rain" and found myself running alongside
this man who thought someone was chasing him.
I have two questions: Was the chaser the girl's father ? Or was
the man the driver himself ? What a horrible event ! There
must be a special angel who hovers over heavy drinkers
who climb into the driver's seat of a car certain they are
ok to drive with way too many shots or beers to muddle
their perception and blur their vision. This fellow and his
lady friend were both inebriated. What a tragic outcome !
Looks like the survivor wasn't going to survive for long.

Your story was gripping and the ending, sad. You write
a good story, Dougo ! It's not easy to create the
atmosphere of pending crisis the way you do. Nice going !
Keep on writing. I look forward to reading more of
your work. *Smile*

GabriellaR45

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197
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

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 The Sad Cat Who Became Very Happy  (E)
A family's cat seems to be unhappy. Will the members of the family be able to help him?
#2098898 by Maria Coca


Dear Maria:

This is a wonderful story. I read every word with great pleasure. This will make a wonderful children's story ! Deciding that Minou needed a feline friend was a great decision. Picking Pinky and deciding on this name added to your story. There is a perfect-childlike simplicity to this story--a perfect match for young readers. It isn't easy to strike a perfect chord when writing for younger children.

Your story is nicely formatted and clean--absent type-os and grammar errors. Nice going, Maria ! I look forward to reading more of your work.

All the best,

GabriellaR45


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Review of Thinking is Bad  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)

STATIC
Thinking is Bad  (E)
A look at how the society destroys those who abandon thought.
#2077978 by Naveed


I posted a link to your poem on our Writing.Com Newsfeed. I hope you receive positive feedback. You are articulate and
courageous, Naveed. Your poem, "Thinking is Bad" is
not only beautifully written, it sends an important message. We are fortunate to live in a country where education is a civil right. Clearly, you've devoted a part of your life to becoming well educated. This is a very special accomplishment. I hope you go on to break barriers.

With admiration and all the best,

GabriellaR45



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Review of Untitled  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

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 Untitled  (18+)
Beginning of a short story I am writing. Urban Fantasy Setting.
#2095952 by LettersWordsandStuff


This is a well written beginning ! Well done !! As a matter
of fact, if you don't write another word, this is still a
compelling short story. You leave your readers wondering
about the letter in a way that is impressive. Some abrupt endings are infuriating while others, like this one, leave some of your readers, like me, smiling at your decision to make us wait on the chance that there will be more. This is a tough act to follow. Hopefully, the next segment of your story will be as original as the first.

Bravo and all the best,

GabriellaR45


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Review of Different Views  
Review by GabriellaR45
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Poem: Different Views
By: Jeff

This is a wonderful poem, Jeffrey. You have the ability
to find words that not only rhyme but are a comfortable
fit with your poem and each line. You do a great job,
pulling us in to appreciate your struggle and your
quandry. It's tough for all of us to comprehend who
will "rejoice" vs those who "sing the blues." In reading
the news each day, I find it difficult to understand
why a child must die in a random shooting while the
drug dealers in the neighborhood thrive. You see, your
poem is thought provoking. Nice job, Jeffrey.

A suggestion: There are a couple of words in the first
few lines that are possessive. This means persons
should be person's. Others should be other's and ones should be one's.

Bravo, Jeffrey !! Keep on writing !

All the best,

GabriellaR45

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