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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gabrielrenze
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12 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Gabo
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, normally there are pictures that tell a million words, but I've never seen a tiny story mean something big. Most people today are unconscious of how technology is taking our lives, but not in the normal perspective. Yeah, we advance from technology, going to space, finding out new stuff like the sentient beings we are. But now, the younger generation(especially mine) use technology to laze around, having fun without actual activities. We are supposed to have hours of physical activities every day, but technology is killing off these activities. A very common example include lifts/elevators. It takes away the activity of going up the stairs/uphills, which is a very good way to train your legs and stamina. This is beginning to affect our kind biologically.

We started as people who hunt and gather for food, build shelters ourselves, make fire out of rocks, but now instead of using our body, we use our minds, which really does show our sentience, but the body must also be considered something to train too. Without a healthy body, we will be vulnerable without technology. A truly strong and independent race should not need technology for simple everyday actions. We are evolving our minds, but devolving our bodies.

Well that's my thought, while for my review:

Like I said in the first paragraph, this is a very meaningful short story. But to make it better, I suggest next time you should add an emotional feeling to it. It strikes our minds and thoughts, but the message doesn't really go to the heart.

For a more minor problem, making humans 2 feet tall in the story seems kinda exaggerated so next time, ease it up on like 4 feet.

That's all for me! Have a nice day!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Quorilax  
Review by Gabo
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Beautiful. In the time span of 48 hours, I have read this twice and the last half of the story another 2 times. I can't get my head off this for the rest of the day. The writing in the story is wonderful, filled with mysterious words like the main quote on the 4th quarter and is very emotional at points. This story can change your perspective of the world even if it's fiction. Because that's what good stories do. The only downside of the story is: for a story with a 13+ rating, it seems that there are too much sexual references in the story. I am a teenager and every time I read this it's like reading something 18+ so please, ease up on it. It will also be lovely if you include a prequel on Zgorbians or Quorilaxians, or a sequel of any kind. Keep going!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Gabo
Rated: E | (4.5)
That's some great history there. The beginning of the text is a very good example of what lighthouses do. To me, the only drawback in this text is that there is a lack of details or the kind of information that researchers would want. For example, the name of the inventor of lighthouses. And if there is no data of that then say that it isn't plotted anywhere in history. But other than that, it's pretty awesome. Especially the first sentence is a great hook.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of The Diagnosis  
Review by Gabo
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ohh wow. This story is somehow both very engaging and saddening at the same time. The atmosphere you put in is amazing. The ending is very unexpected as you added the final paragraph. You should write more about mysteries/death. Great job and good luck!
5
5
Review of FNAF new story  
Review by Gabo
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a rating for the overall stories. It is a bit interesting, but some stories are downright WEIRD. I enjoyed half of the stories and the writing is great. But you need to make some of the stories more reasonable and realistic. Keep working on it!
6
6
Review by Gabo
Rated: E | (5.0)
In my opinion, I don't care you have a mental disorder or not, it's the person's personality that makes what we call a social human. Agnes sounds like a very sweet chihuahua and I'm pretty sure that she is in heaven, still caring and never forgetting about you. I hope you see her in the next life. I recommend writing a biography about her and you can do whatever you like with that book. Good luck!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Letter to Mom  
Review by Gabo
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have always supported most LGBTQ+ people. I have never disliked anyone for their personalities. I myself, am straight, but this letter might as mesmerize anyone that reads it. Beautiful. Show your mother that you are a good person. Ask her what are her main goals with you before you were born, and ask her if stopping you from being LGBT was one. Most parents wouldn't be thinking of it unless they are religious. So if you can fulfil her main goal with you. Then she should allow you on this. Of course, it would take time. But I believe this letter will work. Good luck.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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