I love this scene! Having been a mother of teen girls, I identified immediately with the father wanting to question Tommy, and put a little fear into him. I also identified with the mother softening at the burgeoning love, remembering her (my) own young love.
Wow! what a powerful and moving scene. I could feel the anticipation and disapppotntment clearly; you did a wonderful job in a very short scene. I look forward to reading more of your work. The only confusing thing for me is that I thought the character was terminally ill, but then they took pills as a suicide. Is the chracter commiting suicide because of something terminal that he/she doesn't want to linger with? Did he/she take anxiety or pain pills to help relax while awaiting their eminent death?
I must say this story intrigued me from the beginning. Great Ideas with plenty of description! The only thing that kept slowing me down and making me pause or back up were some ill-used words (In my opinion)such as "was/were actually" 2 times in the same sentence. On the whole though, Wonderful!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gaea
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.19 seconds at 6:28pm on Apr 25, 2024 via server web1.