This was weird, interesting, creative, and really enjoyable to read. I like the surreal "mind f***" that comes with it.
I didn't give you a 5.0 because I'm not a huge fan of what appears to be random capitalisation. It's quite bothersome to the inner grammar Nazi that I can't quell. There were just so many of them that I had a hard time reading it. =/ Sorry about that.
I did find one typo, too. "Everyone had at least on family member..." Should this be "one"? Honestly, I didn't even notice the "prefect" versus "perfect one you did on purpose, though.
A little long, and somewhat confusing. I had to read through twice pretty slowly to get all the info. But, I'm soooo in. I want to challenge myself by blogging every day.
I'm loving the give and take (or possibly yin and yang) of this. I also really like the fact that the "who" is being thanked is left open for the imagination, mind frame and heart of the reader to fill in. It adds a nice little whimsical touch. The whole theme of this is absolutely delightful.
So, why only 4.5? Eh, I prefer rhyming poems. Not that there is anything wrong with this NOT rhyming by any means. It is just a personal preference, and these reviews are to reflect what we, as readers, feel. If there was a way I could give you a 4.90 for it, I would. It really deserves higher, despite my brain's refusal to like poems without rhymes.
A new twist on an old, tried and true cliche and classic horror story. I really liked the addition of the ghost-demon-thing what ever it was, as well as the guardianship protector of the house idea. It makes this story a lot more fun to read than, say, the B-rated horror flicks where everyone dies. Keep up the great work!
I did notice one typo: You said, "Darren turned ib hearing a sound..." when Darren went outside briefly. I think you meant "in", but I'm not sure.
I find it hard to find fault with something that speaks so clearly. I love the style and theme. -- I'm a closet romantic, what can I say? -- The thing that strikes me the most is the truth that underlies this. I have seen many people in my time turn away from someone good and true for something shiny. The subtle way you put this into words is very easy on the eyes.
I laughed so hard at this one. It was awesome. Somehow, it worked out in the beginning for me, but later on it just got silly. So much fun! You have a lot of creativity for these things.
I can't think of a way to make this mad-lib better since the point of most mad-libs is to be silly. Grammar doesn't even seem to matter since you can't tell them to choose X type of word that will fit. (I had them "jumping jacks this attic".)
I was confused on the "he or she" at first. I thought maybe I was supposed to pick "male-" or "female-" something. Until I saw this, that is. I had to giggle at the way it came out. It's awesome as a mad-lib! Can I use something like it for getting kids warmed up in science class?
This is really fun. I love the alliteration. I'd love to give you more of a review on this, but honestly when I read it my brain squeed. I was overwhelmed by the amount of w's that you could use for describing winter.
I present you with a challenge, then. How about the rest of the seasons?
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This makes me wish I lived closer to my da to give him more hugs. The words here make me miss my own papa. =D
The only reason this got a "lower" rating is because I read the description on "Never a Spoilt Apple" that says to let you know what we think, and I thought you were referring to the writing style. On it's own, I think it gets a 4.5. I just prefer the other style more for some reason. I really don't know what it is. I think it is because this style doesn't flow as well to me. Conditional thinking as to what a poem should look like? Probably.
I did notice one grammar error: in the 4th line down "when i speak", the I is not capitalised. Only reason it stood out is because you capitalised the other i's.
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Thank you for this! I really needed the insight. This gives me more confidence that I'm doing the right thing when reviewing. It is nice to know what points really help the writer grow and become better at their craft.
You touched on one thing that I'd like to know more about, though: How to let the writer down easy when you have a bad review. Should you just ignore it and move to the next one rather than be honest with them?
This is a great set of lyrics. However, as I've been there many, many times before on the side of hearing the question, "where did it go wrong", I know it's very one sided. I think it would be stronger with a second song that developed more of the other side, or describing what went wrong.
It's not bad. It's not superb, either. I do like the way that it starts out negative, then gives a glimmer of hope, then finally ends up with a sweetness to it. I don't know if the last line is meant to be negative or just a minor commentary on how this world views the "I" in the poem.
Also, I wanted to point out a slight grammatical error: "He listens to me ... ones again". My brain corrected it to "once again". Is this what you meant?
I'm not a guy, so I can't relate to the physical changes, but I remember how they stare. I like how you note that becoming a man isn't an overnight thing. It's a work in progress.
You forgot a key feature of growing up: responsibility. Maybe a good topic for a second stanza?
Hrm. . . Well written in the beginning. It's very thought provoking. It's pure sci-fi with a element of reality on the way ants live and work.
Not so sure about the ending thought. This could totally turn into War of the Worlds style fun. I can't see humans giving up without a fight. I see another chapter in your portfolio in the future. =)
This is a great beginning or preface to a story. I can see it leading into something really, really fun to read for all ages that love sci-fi.
I'd have given you a 5.0, but there was a tiny little grammar error that caused me to read a bit twice. In "After that first lies I felt … liberated", the lies is plural. To be grammatically correct, it should be singular: lie.
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