A fantastic start! I was instantly gripped. Well done.
Katia states Carl's name, then Carl reminds her who he is. I don't see why he needs to do that, when she clearly knows who he is, having just said his name.
The description of their relationship and how it started is lovely. Your imagery is wonderful.
This is well written, but after seeing how in love the pair are I think it would make more sense for Katia to have more of a reaction when she sees Carl again. Describe how she's feeling, what she's thinking, in more detail.
I hope my thoughts help you! Best of luck!
I'd say you have a solid start here. I think the biggest issue is that you only state facts. You list colours and objects, but what do these items looks like? Are they extravagant? Formal? Lavish? Soft? How does the narrator feel? What do they think? Do they enjoy this special treatment? Do they think they deserve it?
Also, your final line is confusing. It comes suddenly and unexpectedly, and doesn't line up with the rest of the poem. Perhaps I'm missing something, but Audrey Hepburn didn't have a 10G phone or take selfies, as far as I know. Perhaps the narrator just feels like they are Audrey Hepburn? Or now they look like her? Whatever it is, I recommend making it clearer to the audience.
I'm sorry if I've been too critical. I wish you all the best!
Your imagery and techniques are beautiful! You have painted such an in-depth, detailed and immersive image. This poem seems like something my English teachers would have selected for us to study in high school for its numerous techniques - all of which, I think, have been executed very well.
Wow I really love this! It's really clever, really well done. An excellent finish. I really like how well and how quickly you characterized your poor pumpkins! "Replicas of their own dead" had me puzzled for a second, but then it made me laugh. Well done!
Okay I really think this is excellent. Your terminology and techniques are wonderful. Your style is beautiful and I adore "like a comma escaped from a half-finished novel". Your repetition of literary words creates a theme that is confirmed with your final lines. I think this is really well done and cleverly portrays the frustration of writer's block.
I really like how this is done. You seem angry with your depression and its invisibility. As a person who has also struggled with depression, I appreciate your portrayal of that frustration. I really like that you've described that depression 'eats' its way 'along the roots and vines', suggesting that, while you're trying to grow and develop and a person, depression is preventing you from doing so and is becoming a part of you. I think your imagery is excellent and I applaud you
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