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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gerryd
Review Requests: ON
9 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of What's It Worth?  
Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: E | (4.0)
Have been trying to master the genre of Flash Fiction, but you make it much easier than it is. Your storytelling is nearly flawless. Plot line adds suspense, dialogue appears to come natural to you, and grammar right on target.

I know the site has a Flash Fiction Contest that has a continuous daily prompt. If this was a past entry, or even a winning entry, my only advice would be to add onto the merchant's mysterious power. It could really be a gem.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Of course most of us must take you at your word when it comes to this subject, since there is no bullfighting in many parts of the world. However, you state your case quite admirably, and manage to keep our attention.
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Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: E | (3.0)
Appreciated the indepth look at a child who turned to God as eternal father instead of his Earthly one. Truly touching in its honestly, although a bit long-winded.
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Review of Thoughts of Ruby  
Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Bearing in mind the differences between gay men and lesbian women, we all have felt the heartbreak of Ruby and that unrequited love of writer. It brings us together as a social minority that grows stronger every day.

It is a well-rounded piece, although loses some affect with no story scenes and partially depersonalizes the characters with no dialogue. There is a "steamroller" quality with certain details like the man who broke Ruby's heart as well as the child they conceived.

However, the life of waiting tables at a truck-stop is brought to life in these words, and readers made to feel every bit that's expressed.
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Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
An unspecified time and place in mythology with fantastical creatures who rule. Part Greek tragedy between two brothers in competition of their kingdom. Sickness and death major themes related to some sort of plague.

Readers get embroiled the farther they go in this piece. Not only left hanging by what's written, but with LGBTQ themes yet to come. The Fantasy genre only difficult to believe in if a writer does not have proper respect for it.
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Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is the type of story/journal I wanted to write back in school. Full of pain, heartbreak, and yearning, for acceptance, friendship as well as love.

It hurt too much back then, so commend this writer for being able to reach out. Even if it's only to her readers on this site, or just to vent internally.

Things like grammar and vocabulary will come in time, with my hope she continues to write, and vent. The LGBTQ community needs every voice we can get.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Butterflies  
Review by Gerryonbroadway
Rated: E | (3.0)
A great romantic piece that shows budding love has no sex.

It's flow in poetic prose is not an easy one, with a few lines that do go over the top in flowery verse.

Author's creativity abounds building on the, "Butterflies in my stomach," theme that wastes no time explaining the title.

Should be credited for never quite crossing that delicate line from romantic to the sexual, which actually leaves us guessing along with protagonist


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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