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Review Requests: ON
301 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviewing style varies. I may do a little edit if possible or pinpoint what I think is incorrect. My review is merely base on what I feel about your piece. If I enjoy it, I say it. If not, I tell you why I'm not. I often do reviews on all Poetry Items- regardless of the genres, styles and the way it was written. However if you like, you can request a short story, chapter not the entire book or novel, articles and essays, etc.
I'm good at...
Titles. You may ask for a better catchy titles for your piece. Rhyming for most poetry. I'll be reading your piece aloud and hear if consistent rhyming takes place. Emotions. I'm greatly affected on the emotions your piece may reveal.
Favorite Genres
All but Nature, Love/Romance, Dark/Horror and Inspirational are on top of my list.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Story, Articles and Essays. Blogs also.
I will not review...
The entire book or novel. Don't have more time to read. Maybe soon.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings Angel Wolf!

Welcome to Writing.com!

MYSTERY STORY CONTEST sounds interesting! I wish I could write mystery short stories. This will be a fun addition to the existing genre-specific contests already established in this site. I wish you accept mystery poems*Bigsmile*

I would suggest that you will have this transferred to a forum item so that interested members have a means to submit their entries. I believe this is still a contest draft because the rules are not complete and the page needs more polishing up.

Let me know if you need help with setting up the page and image banners. I'll help you.

I can't wait to see this contest running.

Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Goat  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Words Whirling 'Round!

Your poem appeared through the Read & Review section of my page and after reading it, I decided to leave my feedback.

The title "Goat" is good but we can make it better. Perhaps using Cloven Hooves as the title. That way, readers would wonder what the piece is all about and would certainly open up the item for a read. Your current title, which is "Goat" already gives readers that this Haiku tackles about goat and I think the excitement and their interest to read isn't that much. Just an opinion though.

I love how you word this Haiku! The imagery is vivid. I could see how the goat approach you with its limpid eyes. In here, the goat was hungry and approached its owner for food. How lovely the scene is!

This was a well-written Haiku and I wish to read more Haikus from you. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review. Also, this review is part of your Extravagant Surprise package from {item{22700000}.


Title:
          "When having the blues..." is a good choice of title. It will certainly tickle the interest of the readers to read your piece and know the answers When having the blues. Your description provides ambiguous impact for readers whether it is the poem itself is bad or the theme. But it's not that bad since it also triggers the curiosity of readers to read on and find out.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          I like it you give a little advice on the very first line that when feeling blue, don't watch the news. I agree because news can only make your emotion rise. Most especially when it tackles on education. As you mentioned here in this piece, "teachers striking | and everyone fighting | kids skipping school", these could only make the news worse and in turn worsen your feeling. You also have some bolded words or lines in here. Is it a prompt from a contest or any writing activity?


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
          It's a free verse poem with no set meter but with occasional end rhymes.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
          The imagery is clear especially on the lines where you said "There's wind from the west | That's being a pest".


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
          I detected no grammatical error but I found one typographical error. I believe the second line "With teaches striking" should be "With teachers striking". Also the question mark (?) on the last line doesn't seem to be necessary in there.


Favorite Lines:
None.


Suggestions:
          It will be better if you put some notes about the bolded words and lines about why they are bolded.

I would like to also suggest that you remove the word "Because" on the fifth line because it somehow destructs the smooth flow of your piece.


Final Thought:
          It's a good piece and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings BlueMoon !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review. In addition, this review is part of your Extravagant Surprise package from "Magical Express Delivery Wagon.


Title:
          The Ponderings of Life is a great choice of title. It has this awesome drag that would surely capture readers' attention to open and read your offering. The description you've provided also gave a quick preview as to what your piece is all about. Good job with that.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          This is all about being hopeful and being strong amidst life's adversities. I love how you penned each word that conveyed meaning so deep and worth pondering upon. Each stanza is a beacon to the readers to never lose hope but rather be hopeful against all odds.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
          Free verse and I detected occasional end rhymes.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
          The image you were trying to portray in our minds is vivid. Great job!


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
          I detected few flaws in the use of punctuation in some of the lines and little grammatical error. I'll rewrite your piece under the suggestion section of this review with applied punctuation. For grammatical error,

in the line that says, "how I was the only one not crying.", it has to be "how am I the only one not crying?"

in the line that says, "Wishing I could say, what I never", it has to be "Wishing I could say, what I've never been",


Favorite Lines:
"While the darkness descends,
the sun also rises
I await the new day's surprises."


Suggestions:
          Presentation-wise, I would like to see your title written with each beginning letter capitalized like this "The Ponderings of Life".

Applying use of punctuation:

Reading the grapes of wrath,
I settle into my bath,
enjoying myself for once.

Later, I think about
this side of paradise,
What awaits us on the other side?

I recall now a poem.
as I lay dying,
how am I the only one not crying?
Wishing I could say, what I've never been
able to in this life.

While the darkness descends,
the sun also rises.
I await the new day's surprises.

Although most poems doesn't apply punctuation marks and it's acceptable, this is only for presentation purposes.


Final Thought:
          Definitely a good read. I enjoyed it and I am looking forward to more pieces like this. Keep your creativity flows and always aim to inspire others. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Pineapple Party  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings BlueMoon !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review. Also, this review is part of the Extravagant Surprise package from "Magical Express Delivery Wagon.


Title:
          Pineapple Party is a good choice of title. It's catchy and would certainly get you more readers. I'm glad there is a clear description provided that somehow gives us hints on how your poem goes and what it is all about. Good job on doing that.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          Since it's a song about a party-a pineapple party, I believe it must have a much lively emotion, ecstatic emotion however, I can't seem to feel it here in this piece. The emotion shown was more of a regret or dismay. The piece is something about a tragic party.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
          Free verse.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
          Imagery is clear and perfectly executed. I can't figure out what song you incorporated this piece with. I wish there is a note provided somewhere on the item but I can't see any. I could have sing it after reading it to see if it goes well with the song.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
          Honestly, it's my first time to see and read RSVP and I don't know what it meant. I researched it on google and found out that it means "répondez s'il vous plaît" which translates to "please respond". If this is what you meant by the RSVP you used in your piece, then somehow its usage is off the course. That will come out us,

"Why'd I go ahead and please respond?"

I didn't get what you meant by this line.

Also, please consider putting some notes on words, phrases, and abbreviations maybe through dropnotes, footnotes, popups or simply just place it on the bottom part of your composition to lessen the need for us to research its meaning.

Finally, you incorrectly used punctuation on most of the lines.


Favorite Lines:
Or maybe if that pelican hadn't flown in and attacked the party guests?
I'm laughing/I'm dodging/ the potatoes are flying, they're flying/they're flying


Suggestions:
          Already mentioned above.


Final Thought:
          It's a good piece and enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing and please continue to let your creative juices flow to inspire more and more readers. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of 2038  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Poetry Review Garden Sig3
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review. This review is also part of your Extravagant Surprise package from "Magical Express Delivery Wagon.


Title:
         Your title suggests something about the future. It tells us beforehand that your piece will tackle the future events in the year 2038. As with the description, I can't figure out why it says a 160 poem.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         The writer shows a feeling of awe and disbelief at how the earth turns inside-out in the future. The phrase "Hell on Earth is here" somehow surprised me after reading it. I was thinking that maybe the earth is too hot already in the year 2038. Or perhaps the earth is already filled with negativities, violence is all over, and everyone is already a slave to the seven deadly sins. Or maybe, just maybe the earth's core burst out to the crust as you said on the second stanza that "Everything turns inside out". The reason is vague for me and I can't point out the cause. This can create confusion (ambiguous thoughts) to the readers.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         A single quatrain with no set meter and rhyme. A free verse poem.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         The imagery is not that clear as the poem lacks something base on what I mention above.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         No error detected.


Favorite Lines:
None.


Suggestions:
         I suggest you add more lines or stanzas to give a little background about Hell on Earth is here.


Final Thought:
         I like to see and read more lines to this poem. I understand that poem doesn't need to be lengthy (as for haikus and other short poems), but this is different. It lacks something for me. Maybe it's just me and others may view it as complete and clear. I know you will receive more reviews from other readers and their views may be different from mine, so it's up to you if you take mine or not. It was a great read though and I thank you for sharing your work. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Weather-traffic  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Poetry Review Garden Banner
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings BlueMoon !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review. Also, this review is part of your Extravagant Surprise package from "Magical Express Delivery Wagon.


Title:
          "Weather-traffic" suggests something at a first glance. The reader would think that it will be something about a comparison poetry or a double acrostic and yes it's the latter as what you described under the description. Good one.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          The emotion is about peoples dislike on traffic and much more during bad weather. Also, you are angry about people not following the traffic signal, those people who hastily overtake others even when the signal is colored green. In addition, the writer appears to be exhausted after driving though a traffic and nasty weather.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
          The form is Acrostic Poetry, not Double Acrostic as what you described under the description section. In double acrostic form of poetry, the word TRAFFIC must be spelled out using the last letter of each line. No specific rhyme scheme and set meter.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
          Imagery is vivid. I can see every scene and detail of your brief narration.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
          Your description says "Double acoustic poem". It has to be Double acrostic poem. However, the piece doesn't appear to be a double acrostic. I would say it's only an Acrostic poem for WEATHER.

In line, (Not)All people are craxy but sometimes..., it should be crazy.


Favorite Lines:
None.


Suggestions:
          Please correct the description and the typographical error.


Final Thought:
          A good piece. Thank you for sharing this. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of END THE VIOLENCE  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poetry Review Garden Sig3
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Katishii !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
This review is in response to your Review Request. I'd like to thank you for choosing me as one of your reviewers of this piece. The details you added with your request was what urged me to read and give your piece a review. Before I will lay out my thoughts about your magnificent writing, I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Writing.com! I am happy to see you here and started sharing your piece of art.


Title:
         END THE VIOLENCE is something! It has this awesome drag that tickles reader's curiosity. We are surrounded with violence. It's growing and needs to be ended. Good job in choosing your title.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          I love the way how your writing goes. Every word and every line tells us something. The use of short and succinct lines make this piece easy to read. The meaning it conveys put me to ponder about life, about improper governance, the wrong doings of people, and how to end it all. I agree with you that it is indeed the time to end the cycle of pain. We have to live in peace and harmony - life free from harm, from inequality, from bullies and violence. Without these, life would be perfect and worth living. Thank you for the wonderful message.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         I love the perfect AAAAAAAAAAAA-BBBBBBBBBBBBB rhyming scheme. How did you do that? I'm impressed.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         Imagery is awesome! I can't see any vagueness of words you used here. I received the message from your writing clear as crystals and it's great.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         There seems to be something wrong with these lines:

In line, "Sometimes I feel like the world[s] got us all secretly restrained", world with no s.

In line, "Like everything we have to feel we[']re forced to contain", we're.

In line, "The lives of everyone [everywhere have] aren’t meaningless or a game" I'd rather drop everywhere have to just give emphasis on the life of everyone.

In line, "What do we [as people] really stand to gain", I think as people is not necessary.

In line, "When If we all work together there is so much more we can attain", I think it's better to use If.

In line, "Things don’t have to be as bad as our leaders claim" you forgot to add apostrophe on leader's claim.

In line, "Some leaders [just trying to] only hold onto their own money, power, and fame", I think its best to drop just trying to and replace it with only hold onto.

In line, "Each of us [is] facing our own trouble and endgames", add is.

In line, "It's time to come together and stop hurting those who are different from each other with public shame", this is quite lengthy. Try, "It's time to gather to stop violence and public shame."

In line, "That happy feeling [of] something we all now occasionally have to feign".

All else is perfect!


Favorite Lines:
Every word. It's a beautifully written piece worthy for an award.


Suggestions:
         I'd like to suggest the following:

Every day I wonder if people are [still] sane
Doing [They do] things that are hard to explain

Also, it would be better if you put punctuation marks and have these written in quatrain.
Please allow me to rewrite your piece with punctuation marks and the suggestions/corrections above.


Every day I wonder if people are still sane,
They do things that are hard to explain.
Sometimes, I feel like the world got us all secretly restrained
Like everything we have to feel we're forced to contain.

Until our futures have already been planned and ordained
That happy feeling of something we all now occasionally have to feign
To hide the sadness in our hearts and brains
Everywhere I look people’s souls have started to wane.

How much of this inhumanity must we all sustain?
What do we really stand to gain?
If we all work together there is so much more we can attain.
It’s time to end this cycle of pain.

(Brief Pause)

It’s never the time to place hate or blame,
Otherwise everywhere the world will go up in flame.
The lives of everyone aren’t meaningless or a game,
Peace and harmony between all should always be our aim.

Things don’t have to be as bad as our leader's claim.
Some leaders only hold onto their own money, power, and fame.
This vicious bloody cycle that divides us all is lame,
Repeated throughout history by countless names.

Each of us is facing our own trouble and endgames,
It's time to gather to stop violence and public shame.
Those are things that by now we should have all overcame.
FOR WE ARE ALL HUMAN, ONE, AND THE SAME.


Final Thought:
         This is a magnificent piece, I tell you. The message is powerful. It's one of a kind piece that everyone must read. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this piece. I enjoyed doing it and I hope to see more writings from you. Keep your creative juice flowing and keep inspiring others. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Yashoda  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Vaishali !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Image #2266412 over display limit. -?-


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review.


Title:
         "Yashoda" at a first glance, is vague to me. I'm not sure what or who Yashoda is. Perhaps one of the Indian goddesses? That's my guess though after I checked on the cover image. Good thing you added a note at the bottom of your piece telling something about who Yashoda is. That's a great way to do to introduce the character of your masterpiece most especially when a writer tackles about entities specific to his/her country of origin.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         This is exceptional! The way Yashoda portrayed herself being a great mother, a wonderful wife to her husband, and a responsible leader of the community proves to me that the capacity of a woman to do things (great things) is beyond how I imagined them to be. Most people say that women are just a mere housewife who prepare the meals, take care of their children and do household chores without thinking that these daily tasks they are obliged to accomplish are way harder than what the men's works are. After reading this piece I realized that women can do what men can do and they (most of the time) do it better.

         The part where you said she has to handle her son while doing tasks brought my eyes into tears. This reminded me of my mother. Back then, I used to witness her carry my youngest sister while cooking our meal and then wash the dishes.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         You did well in writing this structured poem. The format is good. The meter seems off as you didn't follow a certain syllabic count though. It rhymes pretty well in ABAC rhyme scheme but I found one stanza where rhyming seems offbeat. I tried reading it aloud multiple times but it appeared to me that "SHOW" and "BOW" don't rhyme. Bow, in this sense means to bend over someone to show sign of respect and honor and is read as /baʊ/. The other "BOW" that rhymes with "SHOW" [/SHō/] means a weapon for shooting arrows, typically made of a curved piece of wood whose ends are joined by a taut string and is read as /bō/. Other than that, it's good.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         Imagery is superb. The way you described Yashoda in your piece is great. It is clear in every statement and in every line of your piece what Yashoda does, what she's capable of and how brave and strong she is.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         It's fine. You also added a note stating that you are not a native English speaker but you did well in this piece. That's in my perspective. I am not a native English speaker as well and in fact it is my third spoken language.

         Though I found this line a little off "Like this she daily encounters such innocent show", I can still understand the message of it. I have a suggestion for this below. Oh and curiousity should be spelled "curiosity". Home made should be "Home-made".


Favorite Lines:
         I was so touched with these lines. And as I mentioned, this made me cry.

She has to handle her son while doing daily tasks
And raise her other elder son, Balram.
She once out of curiousity asks,
"O my dear son Kanha, when will you mend your ways?"


Suggestions:
         Please take a moment to read my suggestions:



She is also the lady village head so she conducts [I think this is not necessary]

For she often receives his complains complaints

That he had stolen 'makhan' [guess you need to put some note about this] for fun

I don't exactly get what you meant by this: "And have broken mud vessels of young girls"

She has to handle carry her son while doing daily tasks

She once out of curiousity asks, Out of curiosity she once asks,

Who is (more) beautiful than the moon goddess [need the word more since it's comparative]

She looked looks at his naive small face and replied says, [Inconsistent use of tense]

Like this she daily encounters such innocent show She encounters everyday such innocent show

She gets the pleasure that is most sweet the sweetest in the world

And to this pleasure the whole world bow knows

That she is not just an ordinary mother.



Final Thought:
         Overall, it is a great piece bearing lots of moral lessons. It was a great read and I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing this. Keep your creative juices flow to inspire and touch many lives.


Reviewed by:
GERVIC



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of PAPA JOHN  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings SSpark!

Thank you for giving me tbe chance to read this piece. But before I lay out my review for this writing, I would also like to take the chance to welcome you here in Writing. Com. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. Again, Welcome!

Papa John is one beautiful and touching piece. The way you descibed your father and the way you compared him to a king is superb! I agree about how fathers behave as you word it here. He always have to act like a king in order for us children to follow the right path. During dinner time, his scornful look and grin always put us to behave properly and eat our meals in a well-mannered setting.

It's sad to know you lost him at the end of your piece. That would be too hard, too painful to accept. And you still grieve, perhaps it's time for you to let go of your father and let him rest in peace.

Thank you again for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Water  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Wendy!

Before I start laying down my thoughts about this piece, I would like to welcome you to our wonderful writing.com community-Writing.com! I hope you will enjoy your stay with and that you will continue to share your masterpieces and inspire us all.

Water is one of the most important elements here on earth and we could never live without it. I love how you associate yourself to those beautiful creatures such as the bee, the moth and the child. I agree that water has a good days and bad. But I think it's because of human beings when nature throws its bad days to us. This is only to remind us that we need to take care of our waters - the nature as a whole.

"I feel like I am a drop | Of water | In a vast ocean" is what I like most. The deep meaning it possesses make me realize that in this world, I am just a drop. But think of this, a droplet can stir a still sea. It ripples to all and that only means, whatever you do with your life, it affects many.

I would like to suggest on the third line "Like bees to honey". I think it would be better if you say, "Like bees to flower". Bees love flowers for sweet nectar.

Overall, this is a great piece. I enjoyed reading this and learned a lot. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Reach Out  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Ash!

Before I proceed with my thoughts on your writing, I'd like to take this chance to welcome you to Writing. Com - our most wonderful online writing community. Again, welcome! And I hope that you will enjoy your stay with us.


I agree to your thoughts about life. I am with you on every word you said in here. Life is wonderful and ebullient when friends, family, colleagues, and peers are around. When you are living a life with much optimism and see it as a perfect gift from God above.

I know how much you wanted to see life as positive and peaceful as you might imagine. A life with no drugs, liquors, night outs, addictions, morphines, abuses, bullies, crimes, war, murders and all the negative aspect of life that you can think of. However, life is already coined with it. It already existed even before you born and government tried their best to mitigate or best eradicate such negativities. But it's hard, it is difficult to eradicate. It could be because some of the bad people that falls on doing these tasted the dark side of life and felt so depressed, anxious, upset, and mad about how the world treats them. Their life's experiences triggers to do the worst. Good thing there are laws established to protect us against them.

Everyone is born with unique skills and talents. And yes, we could be a star in our own ways. God geared us with abilities to stand out among other creatures and we should be grateful of that.

This is a wonderful piece of writing. Very inspiring and helpful in a way. Although the choice of highlighting is yours to play with, I'd love to see this piece without the red highlight. It makes the texts difficult to read, not to mention the bold font. Simple is still beautiful.


Overall, it was a great read. Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


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13
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Review of Death  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings PoetInthrInside!

Before I share my thoughts about this piece, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you here at our wonderful online writing community, Writing.com! I'm glad you found your way towards joining this site and posted this thought-provoking, worth pondering piece.

I have to agree with you on every statement you have here. Death is natural but most people are afraid of it. There are lots of reason why they are afraid. Perhaps, they don't want to leave their loved ones, their awesome job, their luxurious lifestyles, their riches, or perhaps the worldly things they savor to enjoy while alive. Some people might be afraid or even worried with their offsprings for not having settled yet, afraid to leave their loyal pets, amazing friends, and all the goodness they have in life.


Living a life here on earth is wonderful. Yes, you may feel that the world is over your shoulder but there are many ways to lighten up the load. Perhaps a child's smile would ease the burden, your friends laughter would mitigate the pain, your colleagues' tender and loving care, your parents' unconditional affection are but a few of reasons why we still choose to live. Don't lose hope no matter what.

On the last part, I am so saddened with how you wanted to be dead. If there is something wrong, find someone to talk to. You can talk to anybody here, or me. I'd love to hear what pain you might be bearing right now.

Indeed this is a beautiful writing. I just hope the last part is not real. By the way, I found few typographical errors in this sentence:

We don't want to die, we do everything to avoid death because not only we are sacred (scared) by ii (it) but also scared by others' deaths, our loved ones. Just a little polishing and formatting, this piece will be perfect.

Thanks for sharing this. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi HOOves!

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this static cause this one is something! I learned a lot from this and I would like to thank you. I was shot point blank on my face with number 9. The fact that I was coming from a very long hiatus and had done nothing helpful during my comeback yet. I am about to launch a fundraising event but haven't done a review since I came back - not even a review.

So here I am, trying to get the motivation to read and review cause this is what the site for after all. And you got my first review for this year.

Once again, thank you for this. Expect more reviews are coming from me for the rest of the year. Write on!


Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Every Minute  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there Dawn Embers!

I was doing a random read and this beautiful piece appeared. How could I not read it when it's written by Dawn Embers? "Every Minute" is a perfect choice of title. While at it, I already got hints about what the content will be which for me is a great thing in choosing titles.

I love the effect of repeating Every minute at the start of each stanza. This provides emphasis to the subject matter and how the following lines supported it. It's a piece with deep meaning about life and how life responds in every minute. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing!

Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greeting Prosperous Snow!

The Lamentation Of Adam And Eve is a great piece of poetry about Adam and Eve. The title suits well for this and was a great choice. Great job with this. I like the way it is written and how you let them speak for themselves. The piece portrayed a deep spiritual meaning about temptation, the decision they made, the responsibility and their faith that had been put to a test. Great piece. Thank you for sharing!

Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Crouching T1ger!

This is Gervic and I am currently reading through the Read a Newbie section of this page. I found this beautiful piece and I couldn't help but give you a review to tell you how much I liked it. But first, I'd like to give you a warm welcome to this wonderful site we call "home". May you will enjoy your stay with us.

The Cabin and the Girl is a good title but for me, it would be better to call your piece "The Girl and The Snow" as the story tackles more with the girl and how she used to like the idea of having a snow. Either way, your pick of title is still okay though.

I envy at how you managed to put the clear imagery into this very short and brief piece. I liked the way you showed how the snow blanketed the once verdant mountains and how the tracks vanished from the snow. The emotion was intense when you started to feel the fright and your worries of losing your father. Great one!

It was indeed a great read! I want more of this. Thank you for sharing. Write on and cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Toemetricist !

I am Gervic and I am currently reviewing through the Read a Newbie Corner of this site. I found your piece there and thought of giving it a review.

Life And Much Of It is one good title. At first glance of it one will know that your piece will talk about life (which is interesting) and much about life (which makes it even more interesting). The description "How we can find clarity when feeling like mud. Knowing when to be still." suggests an extreme metaphor as how life would be as compared to that of mud. Great one!

This short piece bears lots of thoughts, message worth pondering upon. I love how you compare life to mud and how you manage to arrive at some great messages with it. I totally agree with what you said about life here

I found typo error though -
... or if we should run away or rejoyce rejoice.
Because, at times, we find ourself ourselves to be much like mud.
We may find ourself ourselves to be like a muddy puddle..

I like this line:
This kind of awareness motivates us to avoid or ride the ripples.

"Ride the ripples" is very much poetic and has great hidden meaning into it.

Overall, a wonderful and inspiring read. Thank you for sharing this. Write on! Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
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Review of Tiny Dancer  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there CircAid!

Gervic here and I currently doing a quick passing at the Read a Newbie column of this page. First off, I would like to welcome you to Writing.com! May your stay with us be filled with so much fun, learnings and inspirations.

Tiny Dances being the poem's title served its purpose pretty well. It is enticing and captivating. Good job with your title selection.

I love the way you play with metaphor here. The extreme personification of the flower's brief but most anticipated dancing. The imagery is clear and with its short lines, you managed to convey a great meaning of the spring's coming. Great job!

I enjoyed reading this and I wish to read more of your writings. Write on!

Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Dog Parade  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Lorelei!

Gervic here, And I am just having a quick visit on the Read a Newbie Column of this page. First up, I'd like to welcome you to Writing.com! May your stay eith us be filled with fun, and more writings to do.

Dog Parade is a great title. When at it, readers will already know what the piece is all about and how it will go. It's catchy and has this awesome drag that will surely bring readers (Especially thise who love dogs) to the content of your writing. I'm not much of a dog lover but I like this piece.

I love the way you show each scene of how those dogs ran while on the loose. The tems smooth and curly provided hints that the owner has different types of dog. I like the vivid imagery you put in here.


I'm just greateful that there are people who look after the welfare of the animals especially the stray ones. This is a great write! Keep writing more of this. Thank you for sharing! Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi! I am certain that this will be a wonderful contest to participate with. I love nature genre myself had once established a Nature-themed contest. Have you heard the Verdant Poetry Contest "Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus? I founded this contest and was transferred to our awesome wdc friend Choconut . She hosted it pretty well and now the contest is temporarily closed. It's great to see a new contest of this genre coming out.

I am hoping for your success with this. One quick question though, can we submit old items/compositions as long as it fits the current prompt?

Best regards,
Gervic
22
22
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Guriya! I was doing a random read through the Read and Review page. Your poem caught my attention so I thought of reading it and leave it with a rating and review. Please note that this review is mainly my opinion.

The title of your piece "Home of Spirituality!" was what captured me. It has this unique element that drags readers (specially those who are interested in this genre) to dig in your writing. Please capitalize the first letter of spirituality and the exclamation mark seems unnecessary. Although your title is already good, I would like to suggest one that I think is way better - A True Abode.

The message you're trying to convey is way to deep and very spiritual. Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. Being alone is where we can find our inner peace, where we can find the tranquility of our mind. Through it, we will be able to communicate solemnly with our Creator. Through it we will be able to seek for His guidance and protection-for whatever waves of trials we will be facing, He will always be there to save us so that we will appear victorious in the end of the day. I admire how you put this message in this one short piece.

With the poem composition, I'm not sure what form you follow since you started it with a good rhyming scheme yet at the end it tuned out off-rhyme. The word selection is great and I like your good touch of metaphor.

This is something worthy for a good read. Good job and thanks for sharing! Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Greetings SMs!

September has always been the most exciting and awaited month ever! Especially here on Writing.com. There would be no funnier and more surprising than what you guys are preparing for all of us here. It is an advantage that you set up this amazing and colorful page intended solely for the week long celebration.

It was too wise of you and SM to put up a WDC Party Central which houses all the amazing contests and delightful activities for WDC's anniversary. Not only that, you always bring us through here, new surprises, fresh additions, new releases, skins and lots if games.

Party Central guides us what to do and where to head ourselves when we are somehow lost and buried in so much activities. There's no need for us to sift through various items since they're all listed in here. Thus, you are make everything more easier.

You don't know how much I loved to see the red logo located on the left sidebar. And I've been hoping it stays there for quite longer, maybe the whole September. U already missed that cute little thing*Smile*

This is indeed a very organized item, clean and I love all the image logo and banners. Not to mention the skins which are so enticing and gorgeous.

I'm getting excited for next year's anniversary already.*Laugh*

Overall, awesome item, colorful, stunning, delightful, and all adjectives that best describes this.

Thanks a lot to all of you guys! You always rock!

Best regards,
Gervic

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#1300305 by Maryann


24
24
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi There Alan Davies!

Thank you so much for spending your most precious time to join the first round of "Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus! Your entry is much appreciated.*Smile* My review will duscuss things I discovered, how you touch me with this, and how this poem impacted me.

Capturing Mother's Colors, is a colorful piece portraying the artist's feeling of awe and surprise to the splendid scenery of mother nature. She doesn't know where to start her art 'cause she's feeling astounded and overwhelmed to each and every magnificent detail nature ever has. The TITLE was great! It has this awesome charm, colorful enticement that surely will lure readers. Great job!

I love the way you presented your lliece [adding colors created a unique emphasis on each line]. The vibrant blend of harmonious colors especially coincide with the wonderful rhythm and smooth flow of lines. Not to mention the excellent end rhymes which is ax plus factor.

Imagery is awesome. Clear as crystals. I can feel the breeze, the tickling caress of grasses and of vibrant flowers on the field. The scene is soothing and relieving. The emotion ia lively, full of hopes.

I found not a single glitch with regards to grammars. I love your choice of words.

I like the last stanza:

A warm breeze passes over her
She feels mother's love
Approval from love
Her motives without sins
She smiles and begins


It's has short simple lines but has a deepest meaning. Here you showed the love from above. She's granted the wisdom and insight on how to keep thingas simple, how to not give up. Hope appeared in here and she's found the inspiration to start and keep going.

This is indeed a great piece Alan! I enjoyed this very much. I m looking forward to your entry next round. Thanks once again and keep your creative juice flowing.

Best regards,
Gervic

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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus


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25
25
Review of Tagaytay  
Review by GERVIC
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings to you Candy!

It is too exciting to read articles about places -special places in a country I belong with. I heard Tagaytay but I have never been there. People who happened to visit the place always have a good say to it. The experiences they have made me feel envious. I hope to visit there someday.

You are drawing an awesome and vivid image of the place on my mind. Though I never have been there yet, you seemed have given me a quick tour with the beautiful description you have here.

I agree with you, tourism is the primary source of income to the people of Tagaytay. And if somebody would read this piece, without a doubt, they too will crave to pay a visit.

This is a great article Candy! I am looking forward to reading more of your works- especially pieces similar to this. Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Mabuhay Pilipinas!!!

Best regards,
Gervic

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



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