|At this point, this is no more than a collection of good thoughts. However, to make a congruent story, you must first shorten these sentences, because they are long and awkward.
He cautiously approached one of the hulking piles of rust, keeping low, listening for the shout that would notify him and the others they were now being pursued. He and the other children were forbidden from playing on this stretch of sand ever since last year when one of the... what had the elders of the village call it? A ship... had fallen over, crushing to children who had been napping in its shade. Most had fallen, but sometimes the sands would shift as the earth shook, loosening the foundation.
He crept closer to one that reminded him of a picture he had seen in one of the elder's books. He remembered the day because he had reached out to touch the colorful image, shocked by the blue surrounding the ship, water, he had been told and had received several lashes across the back of his hand for his efforts. Apprenticed to that very elder now, there were times he was allowed permission to touch the small collection of books. He was learning to decipher the strange markings that covered many of the pages as part of his apprenticeship. He knew that where he was standing now, many cycles ago, he would be underwater and all these rusting hulks would have been floating on top of it, despite their weight.
My suggestion: One of the objects reminded him of something he'd read about in of the Elders books.
Knowing that the Elders had forbad and of the children to touch or play near the abandoned ship, he crept closer to the blue security shield. On several occasions, he had touched that shield and received something like a shock across the back of his hand. But rather than dissuade him, it had piqued his curiosity. And today was the day, he would discover why.
This is not rewritten entirely, but I have attempted to show how shorter sentences choose would enhance the story and provide suspense. As always, my suggestions are just that. You must
whether or not to use them. Good luck.