This is an incredible, thought-provoking poem. In some ways, it represents a person who longs for an uncomplicated life, yet it also resembles the thoughts of a person who struggles with dementia. Each stanza glided into the next with purpose and meaning. This was a very easy and enjoyable read.
..
Marty as a character was portrayed really well. It was easy to visualize his anxiety and fear about doing the right thing. Getting caught in more than he planned for was realistic, drawing the reader into his character.
Your use of description of the surroundings, circumstances, and the prep to get Marty ready was done with ease, providing a great visual to the actual scene.
The dialogue was perfect, providing details, the tone, and the mood. The plot was typical but done in an alternative concept which made it interesting and new. From the start to the end, the reader remains captivated in finding out more. They have an invested interest in Marty as to how he will succeed, or potentially get himself hurt. It would be interesting to know how he made out the next day during the test.
Overall, I found this to be an enjoyable read.
Minor Suggestion
FInding it satisfactory,
I believe the capital I should be a lowercase i
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
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Good opening; it provided the setting and the details for what was to come.
The details provided as to the new drive-in were exactly what you would expect with new tech.
Neat twist to add a microbrewery and dining place to the mix. I could visually see this part of the large building being accepted by the local patrons and a great source of income for the owner.
There were few characters, but they all played their part well; the aid of dialogue they provided added a bit more spice. It was realistic and informative.
I'm sure there was a clear reason to add in the info for the F150 and Impala, perhaps to add a touch of mystery or suspense. You succeeded in that view, but Stella as a character lost her charm during this segment.
I did find this to be an interesting read, but I was left with more questions than answers; it felt a bit unfinished. This could be due to the required word count for the challenge it was originally done for.
Overall, nice concept of writing and good story plot.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
.. What a cool story that provided an ending I did not anticipate. I found this to be an enjoyable read.
Characters:
Relvan, while a great character, was not given much of a visual in his dragon form. The townspeople were true to character for the circumstances they endured. The introduction of Eloa, who was pure of heart, was a great addition.
Description:
In some areas, you provided an abundance of description, which was good to obtain a clear visual, yet in others you seemed to have skimped over certain parts. The gist of the surroundings was clear to imagine the kingdom and areas surrounding it.
Dialogue:
The conversation between Relvan and Eloa was what filled in the missing blanks. Hers with the questions she asked, and his with the answers he gave. The dialogue completed the story well.
The Plot:
A plot used many times before where a secret unfolds within a kingdom to award the ultimate happily ever after scenario. While this story took a slightly different twist, it was done well and remained entertaining and captivating for this reader.
A few suggestions:
When his fire was extinguished the kingdom fell into and accursed eternal winter.
= I believe [and] should be replaced with [an]
Once every ten years he required that the villages gathered and selected a young woman to present to him.
= gathered = gather, selected = select
Sometimes freak snowstorms would hit them even in mid summer.
= mid-summer
The ones that did returned with a stolen horse drawn wagon
= horse-drawn
but she was certain it was not laying on a king sized bed in a room
= laying = lying, king sized = king-sized
changed her from her peasant work clothes into a night gown embroidered
= nightgown
see far enough to know their was a covered patio outside
= there
I can’t handle high pitched squealing,”
= high-pitched
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..
In answer to your question, wild or feral - yes indeed they are, but we still end up getting attached to them and taking care of them. It would appear this kitten knew exactly what they wanted, and with the help of Ginger, it achieved just that.
The characters: In this case, were the kitten without a name. A dog named Ginger, and the new owner of a kitten. This array of characters was sure to provide a great tale of don't do that, okay do that.
The Description: Was spot on; the visuals captured in your description of the events before and after were clear, entertaining, a touch of mystery, and a whole lot of drama.
The Dialogue: Was perfect when calling animal control. Personally, I find there is really no use in calling them at all. Since their idea of help never ends well for the animal.
The Plot: While it is hard to tell if this was a personal story or one made for convenience, it was captivating and an enjoyable read. The story progressed in a fashion that was slightly suspected to end the way it did.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
You did a great job; this is a nice breakdown of the toolbar in the editor.
It might be helpful to the person reading it to know that you are referring to the editor toolbar or v3 editor toolbar.
Another thing that could be useful to a newbie is the magic wand dropdown, which provides useful tools, such as columns [2,3,4], countdown timer, list [alpha or number], footnote [numbered text], drop note [open text]
Simple yet elegant. One word: Hello, just a cut above a smile in your direction. One word spoken by two opens the door to conversations to explore. Some of the best conversations I have had have started with "hello". I enjoyed your piece; it was nicely done.
Such an adorable story brought back so many memories for me. I was waiting for the bus downtown, and this tiny kitten was trying to get into the jewelry store. It was snowing. I picked it up, put it in my coat and got on the bus. I hid it in my room, and my mother walked in and found it. Your father doesn't like cats; you'd better put it back where you got it from. I didn't; my father let me keep it. It was like the kitten knew and became his best friend. When I moved out, he wouldn't let me take the cat; he declared it was his.
This was quite the puzzle, my daughter even got her eyes on and was finding words quicker than me and teasing me about it.
We had good laughs, which is what it is all about.
Here Kitty Kitty - that was a good one. What an awesome puzzle to find all the words. The multi letters made for the challenge.
Thanks for creating it.
This poem gives reason for thought. Your thought process can be strung from two perspectives:
The person who has multiple possessions and is not willing to share or give to another.
The person who is distant, uncaring, perhaps selfish, who trusts no one, therefore does not love either.
I will not argue that this can be true in many cases.
What matters today is that you are surrounded by what makes you happy, whether it be a person or a possession, does not matter.
As for tomorrow, what you have, or whoever you loved, will be gone the moment your eyes close for the last time.
..A delightful tale of how a friendship can bring so much joy with a dash of lifetime love and companionship. Symbols became the key ingredients: a picture, a card, and rosebuds. The characters were very real, perhaps a memory written for a memoir.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..A small town mystery played out with a final curtain call. Clever use of plot. Your use of description created an illustrated visual of the inn. Your character was portrayed in a relatable fashion, providing a compelling read, begging to know what resulted in the end.
Overall Story: A great mystery tale and a most enjoyable read. The visual was perfect, and the characters were captivating.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..Well, you certainly covered the mystery aspect within your story, as you are led to believe that a stuffed animal at some point takes on a live appearance to find a missing girl. I gathered that the fantasy part was relative to having a condo and searching the web for clues. I was surprised by your use of ‘Go, [insert 18+ word here] yourself’, for a story that is marked as a children’s.
Overall Story: I could not determine if the story itself was a dream sequence, but it did have a fair amount of mystery and a boatload of fantasy. I found the story a touch confusing, jumping from one aspect to another with no clear definition.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..
Provided within your words is a definition of what the orange rose could or should mean to those who see it, receive it, or enjoy its beautiful colour. You provide meaning that could be utilized, a recommendation to explore, and a message to all in the turbulent world we currently live in.
Suggestion: Two people in love provide security in a relationship of tranquility and trust.
Spelling = tranquillity
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..
This story led to suspense and a much deeper meaning for an object once given as a gift. Your attention to the characters' thoughts and feelings was of true form and presented well. Your dialogue was appropriate and informative for the course of action that Mary would eventually take. I enjoyed how this story read, providing an answer to one question, adding detail to yet another as the plot continued. The story was captivating and a pleasure to read.
Suggestion: The 3 red words could be spelled differently, but that would be based on the country your language is from, as they all have different spellings between the UK, USA, and CDN
She retrieved her jewellry box from its hidden security spot and flipped the lid.
• UK Jewellery
• US jewelry
• CDN either jewellery or jewelry both are accepted
Realizing that the best form of defense was a good offense, he puffed out his chest and looked affronted.
• UK defence - offence
• US offense - defense
• CDN defence – offence
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion.
..
This was carefully crafted, with attention not only to the meaning behind the importance of Ma, but also to her children and the perils of life. This version of speech expressing Black Culture was readable, but the true essence of what has been written requires a second, if not a third, read to catch all the hints within a reality of which so many have been a party to or suffered from.
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion to alter your work.
What an impactful story you have created. Where men were fully in charge, and women were relegated to being emotional and sensitive. A complete turnaround, where the women were organized, intuitive, and got things done peacefully, except for the disintegration of the male spirit and soul.
Your words were articulate and frankly truthful to a fault. But a fantasy nonetheless, as men will never give up the throne, and women will never become leaders allowed to dictate how the world should be. However, neither should discredit the other, as together they would be that much more powerful and achieve so much more.
Your use of the prompt was extremely well done. I enjoyed reading your story, and trust many more will as well.
From one scammer to another, poor Uncle Frank is willing to participate because something is better than nothing. A funny story of sorts; the dialogue was well done. The ghost bear sighting was a bit tough to swallow.
I couldn't help but immediately think of 'The strings that bind you'. Lena's character was earmarked for a life of luxury and success, but it did not fill her heart with pride or accomplishment. I like how you gave Lena not only a voice but a choice, and while the choice came with minor regrets, it also came with an emotional release, allowing her to be herself. Indeed, independence was a wonderful thing and the perfect conclusion to your story.
.. Well, hello and welcome to WDC. I trust you will stay a while and enjoy your time here. Now on to your story.
Great opener; the visual was set up nicely with a captivating touch of suspense to keep the reader going. The more I read, the more invested I became.
I too had the same questions as Amira and wanted to know more.
Absolutely priceless line: “So…I’ll be…like…a pet?” and so well placed.
You describe each avenue of the scene with great detail that is useful and gives a vivid picture through the eyes of Amira.
A fair amount of mystery resides within these words, along with a touch of drama, and a good mix of sci-fi. A most enjoyable read. I do hope you will continue with this story.
Suggestions Shira looked down at her body again, confused if she’d actually gotten hurt.
= was this name meant to be Amira?
I didn’t realize you’reregion was so isolated, oh goodness.”
= using the tense you are and should be [your]
He looked somberfor a moment.
= spelling [sombre]
She was disappointed to hear that, but at least she knew she wasn’t the only one that’s ever come from Earth.
= replace that's with [who's]
It’s very rare they’re not, but your measurements are taken, and there will be new clothesyouto choose from.”
= missing word [for] between clothes & you
The door was beautiful but intimidating in its size and craftsman shift.
= spelling [craftsmanship]
This review is my thoughts as I read your item. The suggestions provided can be used at your discretion. Thank you for sharing.
Your words speak more truth than some will see. The items we cling to are nothing but junk or wasted space. Friends will move on to new friends. Family may or may not remember as your absence lingers on.
I agree with you right up to your last line; you don't even get to take what you gave, because the minute you gave it, it no longer belonged to you.
Interesting word use covering all that exists within our countries. Love this line: 'and journey without borders'
How captivating 4 words can be to hold so much truth that others are unable to see. Nicely done, and congrats on your day award win, well deserved.
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