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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greycantwrite
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Review by grey n
Rated: E | (3.0)
To start, I love the rhyme scheme. It, in my eyes, will always make poetry far more enjoyable and eye-catching! :)
However, in line 2, to what does "pair" refer? The worlds?
"I miss" in line 5 is a rather jarring transition. If it does not interrupt your meter, maybe try inserting an "always" between "I" and "miss?" This idea continues into your third stanza, where they are reunited. Perhaps adding more stanzas will help with these transitions and smooth them out a bit, by giving you more to work with.
Overall, your poem is a beautiful recount of love. I enjoyed it--thank you for letting me review it!
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