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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hadenough
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7 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The worm turns  
Review by hopelessproud
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi!
What I just read reminds me of a French book named 'Un noeud de vipères' (a knot of vipers) about an ageing old man -a successful lawyer, this time, however- bitter, at bad terms with his wife because of a deep-rooted misunderstanding and despised by his children who take him for a heartless man.
And this man ends up giving all his hard-earned money and property to his worthless illegitimate son, if I remember it well.
So your writing felt slightly déjà-vu to me, but not less interesting at that! I didn't see the theme of the abandoned father coming at all, and I like the realistic psychological depiction of the father, though I find that the atrocity of the children could have been more nuanced.
Good writing!
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Review of Life Lessons  
Review by hopelessproud
Rated: E | (4.0)
How adorable!
At first I got things mixed up in my head because of the many daughters and mothers, but this is an accurate depiction of a child's whims and her mother's troubles. Though the setting and lesson are rather cliche, I guess we never get enough of that stuff!
Aside from that,
I am admiration before the great vocab' put in use, and maybe the middle paragraph could be broken down (perhaps at the "How she had...")? It's slightly heavy...
Wonderful ending! Just what a Perfect Mother would've done.
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Review of A Fox's Defeat  
Review by hopelessproud
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Heyyo!
Wow! I love it! Somewhat funny, musical, interesting; wonderful!
Only some minor points: I didn't really understand why 'enjoyable' couple years is put in italic. Has he had enough of his companion(s) ??- no I don't get it.
Some verses maybe break the musicality- or maybe it's just me.
Odd how you disgrace moles too.
Nah, but we must admit the last verse, especially the last, glorious "hehe" is genius 😋
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Review by hopelessproud
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello!
There is a repetion of the word dream (-> dreamer, dreams, dreams) which could be avoided. "Nightly" dreams?
Sure, we know he dreams at night; it's kind of a pleonasm. I like the musicality, but the 6th verse breaks it. Anyway, I don't who Sam Adams is and what his sleeping problems are, so I guess my comment can't be too accurate- though setting the mysterious mood was a success!
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