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177 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of God, Who Are You?  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a lovely way to express the essence of God. Not a single molecule that is not connected, such a overwhelming concept. Thank you for sharing.
2
2
Review by Deb
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A beautiful and heartfelt poem! Few receive the gift of such love. God Bless
3
3
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely!! Very sweet and entertaining. I really love the line, "Her hair is red and blazing,like fire amoung the gras." Playful and fun!!
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4
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was a very engageing story. I enjoyed tremendously and will look forward to The Dragon Riders.

I have to tell you that when I read I often see characters or hear their voices as someone I know of such as actors etc. Every time Whiff called Analia "little lady" I saw and heard John Wayne. I hope you get your book published soon.
5
5
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
In the paragraph; Lord Haut looked at her with resignation.....
The last sentence...As you know there is nothing quite so close to a god as a the battlefield.

I am not sure of your intent..as the or as a.


6
6
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think in the paragraph, The cell door....
The last sentence; She did radiate hostility should be did not radiate....
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7
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The paragraph,"Your hurting me you beast!" Elaine quickly shouted. It is Elise.

This is not about this chapter but in our description at the top beginning of the book the title reads The Long travelor. Also revealed is spelled reveled. I am enjoying the book and all the characters.
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8
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
At the very end of part 15, I believe it should read generations of Schermons.
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9
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
In the first paragraph pealed should be peeled and sops should be soups. Also several times toward the end you refer to Nania as Nana. Did I miss that Analia shortened it?
I love that you are tying all of this back to man's unquenchable thirst for power and the failure of so many civilizations before ending in failure due to this. I love a story to have a positive purpose.
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10
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
I got a little caught up but the only error I found was In the sentence Queen Denize is speaking. We sort of misled him............you niece shoiuld be your.
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11
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
Khelti is spelled wrong in the paragraph, Peter quickley recovered.

I read this because I believe you are a talented writer and enjoy the story. Thanks for the points but you do not need to send them. Thanks!! Soon I will add my first young adult inpirational story and would just appreciate your comments!
12
12
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
I don't know if you want small corrections but In the first paragraph it should read more and more angry. In the paragraph abut the festivities raisin is misspelled raison. And in the paragraph beginning, At a signal from the cheif referee, Lord Alwathe is spelled Alwthe.

The story is great and I continue!
13
13
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
You are taking us on a quite a journey. I feel like this world is actually our future rather than our past. I realize this is fantasy, but it is thought provoking nonetheless.Reading On!!




14
14
Review by Deb
Rated: 13+
Tiny little things,part 3 when the dragon is telling Analia that she is warn down. I thought you might have meant worn unless it is the dialect.

Part 4 you say Pieter name is Schermon but his father is Shermon.

The sentence about the 2 young men in the tavern: At the end of the paragraph about Pieter it says estate of his on. Own?

Great story so I will continue!
15
15
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Another enjoyable read. Your attention to the surroundings and language truely make the reader feel like they are there.
16
16
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wonderful! I can't wait for more.
17
17
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
We have all been there! This is a good start. I am sort of in the same place. It seems like it si easier to write when I have some emotional turmoil going on.

Your poem is heartfelt and real and I certainly hope your scribbles continue. I enjoyed reading your work.
18
18
Review by Deb
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1809176 Unavailable **


Hi Magoo, I always try to return a review so here goes!




First Impression*NoteR*




Loved your poem. I think children will be enchanted! I also has a underlying message about trust.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*


I don't think there is a particular line but I love the way you incorporate the various other magical elements!



Truly love the line about imagining making a meal of the candy.






Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*




None




Thanks for the great poem. I love simple poetry that you don't have to search for the meaning. It is the way I love to write.







19
19
Review of Our Lady's Tears  
Review by Deb
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1809176 Unavailable **


Hello Yellow Rose, I always try to review those who do me the favor and found this poem very moving.





First Impression*NoteR*


It made me think of the poem I wrote called "Blessed Mother." A beautiful poem and wonderful way to tell us about the Lily of the Valley.








Favorites:*SuitHeart*




I really like the 5th and 6th stanza's because it lets the reader know that life was coming from the pain. So true that in life most of our greatest rewards come from our greatest trials.








Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*



I like the 4th stanza but I believe it would read better if women was woman and it might flow better if you used to pray.




It is a lovely heartfelt poem and just the kind of poetry I love.



Thanks for sharing.









20
20
Review of Patience  
Review by Deb
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1809176 Unavailable **


Hi jaya,




First Impression*NoteR*




My first impression was that it would take someone who possesses the quality to express it so well.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*



I love the whole first part but especially the mother Earth, waiting stanza. It is beautifully put!




I also like that the poem resembles a vessel waiting to be filled.




Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*






None











21
21
Review of Grammarama  
for entry "It’s vs. Its
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a great little guide when I have those senior moments and can't remember comma and apostrophe rules. Sometimes when I am in a hurry it is really hard to remember where to look for these tips so I will make this a favorite so I can find it quickly! I am so glad that this was included in my e-mail notifications this month! Thanks!
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22
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is the kind of poetry that I love! Anyone can understand it and enjoy the message that you are sending. A wonderful tribute to your friend and very well done.

It has good flow and rhyme. I am told that I need to branch out and try harder rhyme schemes but I love keeping it simple!

Beautiful!
23
23
Review of Remember?  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,
I like to return the favor of a review! This poem is bittersweet and full of emotion.

I believe the first Verse has the best meter and flow..I have been encouraged by some to pay strict attention to meter in a rhymed poem.

If it is meant to be free verse it is not so important.

Some of the lines are a bit combersome. I'd long to spend; with you a night. If you could find a descriptive like blissful it might read easier.

Barely we would be apart is another example. Maybe..seldom would we be apart?

Lastly And rain; it poured down from the sky. And rain poured from darkened sky?


Just my American thoughts!

Hope this is helpful and Thanks for the read!
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24
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1809176 Unavailable **


Hi Calvin, this review is for your shower.




First Impression*NoteR*



Really creative and cute idea!







Favorites:*SuitHeart*




I love the way you throw in a little rhyme here and there. It really adds to the whole Fairytale!


I especially like the spell for the love potion. "Pumpkin seeds and bread of rye, pull the wool over his eyes!" Great line.

I thought it was a great touch to make her wear a black satin dress and her shoes to be darkened glass. Maybe the reflection of her heart.

Having the element of surprise by ending with Elizabetha as the Author was a nice touch.





Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


No real problems. One suggestion would be to use the word steed for the carriage ride sentence, which would eliminate the spell to drive itself.


I really enjoyed the story!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.












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25
Review of Crimson Teardrops  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1809176 Unavailable **

Hi, this is a shower review.





First Impression*NoteR*



Very powerful topic and difficult to express the emotion it evokes.







Favorites:*SuitHeart*



Crevice growing day by day. It is so powerful and expresses so much that the abuser doesn't see. A child is tied emotionally to the adult but the crevice widens as the child grows in understanding.









Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*




Tears of crimson is a powerful image and running steep doesn't quite do it justice. Maybe now they weep.


The only other suggestion would be that it might be a little more powerful in the last stanza if it were Harm not this child in any way.


It is a great poem. Thanks for sharing.











My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.








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