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178 Public Reviews Given
181 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review of The River  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



Hi, this is a shower review.



First Impression*NoteR*




Very insightful and wise. This guide was also a teacher.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*





My favorite line is: Would you really be happy paddling in the shallows when you could be swimming in the depths?


This is a profound statement and really made me think. I am certainly guilty of just splashing my feet and making a real commitment and jumping in. Especially with my writing. Very thought provoking.







Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*



Very well written. I really didn't catch on that it was a young girl until the end. In my head it was a tourist with a local guide.

I also appreciate the lesson in appreciating the blessings that God provides regardless of the form they come in.


Thanks for the great story.








My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
27
27
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I have not finished a novel or even come close though I have attempted to start one. This is a great list and giving us a reference to The Wizard of Oz and the other books is very helpful. It seems like some of this happens naturally in creating a story but it is great to have guidelines to refer to.

Thanks for sharing your valuable insight.
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28
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kathie,

I Love this poem. It is such a wonderful representation of sixty years of struggle for our nation and in your personal life that is reflective of most of us. We have separate struggles but all come the the realization that there has to be more.

You have a wonderful way of getting to the heart and your port should be explored by all. If you share these words with the world you have
accomplished much. Sharing our stories is a way of giving to those who follow if only they can open their hearts to the words.


Thank-you for sharing your work. I will be reading more. Write-On!
29
29
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Kathie, this is an amazing story. Why do so many of your stories have nothing by them. I stumbled upon your poem "Footprints of Life," and could not help but visit your port. You are a woman with a wealth of life experience and Heart.

This story could be life-changing for someone in a similar place in their lives and I wish every person on Writing.Com would read it. Everyone of us have life experiences to share but many just can't find the words. You write from your heart and I will read many more of your writings!

Thankyou for sharing !



I have returned your rewards because reading your story was a reward in itself!
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Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Sophy, I like to read something from the port of the person writing the Spiritual newletter just to get a feel for who they are and I am so glad I chose to read this particular piece. It is a wonderful explaination of the Holy Spirit being in us and us in Him! I especially like the story of the Grandfather showing the little girl her own reflection. If only we all realized that God lives with-in each of us maybe we would be more careful about how we treat our bodies and what we put into our minds.

You are an inspiration! Thankyou
31
31
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi Jimmy, this is a review for your shower!




First Impression*NoteR*





I think little girls would love the adventure it creates lots of opportunity to throw in some teaching about history and terminology that our children are unaccustomed to.





Favorites:*SuitHeart*



Silje is a typical child in that she apparently believes that the universe revolves around her and things will always be ok. It was a good lesson for Silje to see that her actions affected those she loved.









Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*



Tweak: Only one. In your first paragraph it seems it would flow better if it was edited a bit.

The sentence beginning Though might read better if it was more like..

Though Silje had long strawberry blonde hair, eyes as bright and blue as the robin's egg and soft alabaster skin, it was her good nature and radiant smile, which truly endeared her to those she knew.


Enchanting story and I will look forward to reviewing Chapter 2 soon!





b}My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .{/b}
32
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Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really appreciate that you are willing to review poetry and you are easy to find. The forum is great and your insight and words of wisdom, " A good poem is like a fine painting." A wonderful thought. The other thing that I really appreciate is your paragraph on cutting out the extra words. I have learned so much from writers here and appreciate each of you sharing with us. Thanks!!
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Review of Milestones  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi Prosperous Snow, I am Deb and this is a review for your shower.




First Impression*NoteR*




Great idea for writing, whether for poetry or stories.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*




I really like the image of the stones each representing a milestone and a turning point.








Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


The only thing I found a little distracting was the etc. in the last stanza. Listing a few more events and then continuing would maybe not minimize the importance of these events.



Lovely poem and you have planted seeds for thought. Thanks!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review of Once Was An Angel  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello Lady Gypsy, I'm Deb and this is a review for your shower!




First Impression*NoteR*



You were a very talented 9 year old.







Favorites:*SuitHeart*



I found every thought so real that I could scarce pick one. Your very intuitive words could be a poem from each and every one of us.









Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*



This is a very special poem and some things should be kept just as they are. It would take something away to make it perfect grammatically.
I have a poem in my port that I wrote for my daughter when she was born and have no intention of changing it because it was written from my heart. My lovely daughter passed away 4 years ago and I would never change the poem.

Keep writing and inspiring! Thanks.
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Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi, I'm Deb and this is a review for your shower!




First Impression*NoteR*



Wonderful visuals and metaphors. I thoroughly enjoyed the descriptions of each category and easily connected it to human behavior!







Favorites:*SuitHeart*




I love the third behavior paragraph. I wish I was one of those leaves sometimes but alas I would be the steady solid leaf that may sometimes be a little boring. I believe this is where writing can free those of us who always do what is expected.








Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*



This is such a great piece! I can see it as an introduction to a wonderful story using this premise as the story of a boy that grows into a man and all the adventures told by this wonderful leaf! You are a wonderfully talented writer and I will look forward to reading more of your work. Thanks!
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Review of Words on a page  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



Hello, I'm Deb and this is part of your "Showering Acts of Joy," shower.



First Impression*NoteR*

I read it quickly and the first stanza caught my attention. I knew there was something to think about here and I reread it taking in the visuals and the meaning behind the words.









Favorites:*SuitHeart*



I love the visuals in the first two versus! I see the dust in the sunlight and the footprints trapped in ink is an awesome metaphor. I appreciate the power of this gift of writing more after reading your poem.









Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*




I would like a little more. It is very well written and is fine like it is but I would like at least one more verse between the second and last!



I have not been here for awhile and you have inspired me to return! Keep writing!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
37
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Review of Allegiance  
Review by Deb
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ken,

As always your poem is beautiful. Everything that you write well researched and thought out.

Your rhyme is wonderful. There are no grammatical errors .

You inspire all of us who are just learning to reach deep inside of ourselves and express your thoughts from your heart.

Thanks for a great read.
38
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Review of Idle brain  
Review by Deb
Rated: E | (4.0)
Enjoyed your poem. We can all relate to the rambling on of an idle brain. I could write on the mystifying
thoughts of an ageing brain.

Your rhyme was pretty good but I thought knowledge and amazed were a stretch.

Also wondered if the use of Caps part of the time was intentional to create the idea of the random thoughts?

Thanks for sharing


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" ..
39
39
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am learning to appreciate poetry that speaks to all of us and that is exactly what your poem does. We as Americans have always deemes ourselves a little more refined than others but we should all reflect on the stick in our own eye.
Today there are other ways that we mistreat or belittle others and are too afraid to admit our faults.

Your poem is well written and makes the point that we must take responsibility for, not only the actions of our nation but on a personal level.

Thanks for sharing! I found no grammatical errors and appreciate the awareness that it encourages.
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Review of The Message  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hi Ken!


First Impression*NoteR*




I had no idea what an inverted refrain was but your poem is beautiful and well rhymed.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*


The third stanza is my favorite. It is full of hope and encouragement to be positive in the new day. You have created rich visual poetry and it doesn't feel stilted by the particular kind of rhyme scheme.

Sometimes poetry loses its' flow when the author tries to hard to make it rhyme and have the perfect meter. You have managed to do all of these things and send a beautiful message as well.

Thanks for sharing!










Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


Good the way it is!















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
41
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Review of Heaven and Hell  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Dan,

Your Title drew me in and I was not dissappointed. What a powerful poem! Your insight and ability to express that insight are remarkable!

I really liked the way you expressed the warriors angst by making him taller in the 5th stanza. It would not have a occured to most to express it this way.

My only little tweak is here after which I believe is one word. hereafter

Thanks for sharing!
42
42
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi Susan, I was posting on the shameless plug page and noticed your post.




First Impression*NoteR*


Love the shape and how it enhances the poetry.





Favorites:*SuitHeart*


I really love the part about the cotton sky! The entire stanza is wonderful. I also really like the reference to the chandelier it is very descriptive and works so well with the vision.

It is amazing what we can discover if we really listen in the silence. Even at a stoplight if we can hear the whispering of the Holy Spirit.






Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


You are obviously very gifted and your words create visual art and poetry. I enjoyed the read!


Thanks for sharing!











b}My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .{/b
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Review of Courage  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello!




First Impression*NoteR*



I like poems that express something profound about a simple word. These are the kinds of words that I believe make great free verse without the constraints of traditional poetry that makes them stilted.







Favorites:*SuitHeart*




I am as old as life and as young as an infant learning to walk. Great line. It gives the word courage history which makes it more real and solid.

I like your line My sister is bravery, we fight for what we believe in.








Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


Tweak: In the 3rd line.. ideas burst out with confidence. You don't need out.



Tweak: I had someone tell me that Using the title at the beginning and the end actually took away from my poem. They felt it gave it more power when it was used just once.

I like the way you ended the poem but maybe you could start with Standing up to..

Tweak: A few stronger words may make it more powerful.

I like to make you think, express your opinions,let your adrenaline flow!



Tweak: I think if you used bold type for some of the words that other words could be eliminated.

bravery

I am exciting and loud, a voice in you mind pushing you.




Great thoughts! Thanks for sharing.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
44
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Review of Evolution of Eras  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Froggy,

I like to return the favor of a review for those who review me. I chose to review "Tonight."

I believe that as children our perception of Hero's is different because we can't see beyond the screen or the personna that a sports hero may have.
We know as adults that these are people just like us that have flaws and problems. We judge them more for character than RBI stats.

The world is a different place though. Hopefully we will again see an America that we can be proud of and people willing to take responsibility for their share in the moral decay.

I really liked the line, "In life's calculator I am the constant and everything and everybody else changes." That is such a great statement. Just ask anyone who has recently attended a high school reunion! It seems like everyone is getting old but you.

I like the use of the granade, probably not a comparison I would have thought of , but fitting in the way you used it .

The monologue makes the reader aware of how the past shapes our future and how we percieve things in the present moment is probably going to be much different when we look back.

Thanks for the trip back to my youth!

Keep Writing!!

I do think the Title is a little confusing. You might grab the reader if you could relate it to looking back on a simpler time. America (remembered).


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
45
45
Review of Breathe  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi M!




First Impression*NoteR*


Very Expressive. Anyone who has had or witnessed an anxiety attack will connect with this poem. Annie suffered with anxiety and honestly thought she was having a heart attack.






Favorites:*SuitHeart*


I love the phrase with the wonderful visual of the, "bobcat drip, drop, descend his whiskers, collecting as disquietude within my emptied lungs.








Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


No real tweaks, just a suggestion to use the writing tools to make some parts bold or italics etc.


Thanks for sharing!




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
46
46
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **





First Impression*NoteR*



A truly eye-opening poem. So many of us are so blessed and it's good to read something that makes us think about the children who are not so fortunate. That this happened in your life is sad but I have learned that our trials are what make us the people we are.



Favorites:*SuitHeart*


The stanza: For sister Sue I told myself, to help and make her heal,
to save her life and make her right I would beg or steal.

Really tugs at my heart.





Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*




Tweak: The only stanza that seem to not flow quite as well is the Christmas is near.....

You might not need the and all we have. Christmas is near...another empty plate,
Our parents tell us it's rotten fate.





Great poem. Hope this Christmas is rich and full of Blessings!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
47
47
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello Michael.




First Impression*NoteR*


This meditation is beautiful and serves a comforting purpose to anyone who has lost a child, regardless of age.





Favorites:*SuitHeart*


You have expressed what we only wish we could feel after the loss of a child. Unfortunately the pain is to great to focus on what we should feel. It took me a long time of saying the words before I could actually feel the truth of what you have written.


"I can't begin to guess what you might be telling me, but I know that you are available to hold me in your loving arms and be there in all my tears and pain, not matter what."


Speaks to me even now; three years after my daughters death.


Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


My only suggestion would be to list the Bible Versus with names instead of abbreviations. A person unfamiliar with the Bible may have difficulty with this.


Thank-you for your words and insight into the pain of this incredible loss.







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
48
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Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful and very moving poem. I absolutely can find no fault in it. You write from the heart! Thankyou for sharing with the rest of us.




This is part of your Showering Acts of Joy shower.
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Review of SECRET PATH  
Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi Sherry!




First Impression*NoteR*



A beautiful poem about discovery!





Favorites:*SuitHeart*


The 3rd stanza I thinks speaks to all of us. We always try to captain our own ship and until we recognize that we have to let go of the control we struggle.






Suggested Tweaks:*Checkg*


Obviously I gave it a 5 so I believe it is great as it is. The only thing I might do if it were mine is change the very last line to

with the realizaton that He did care.



A wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing your talent with us!
50
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Review by Deb
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have a gift. Another beautiful poem!!
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