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Review by Richard Luck Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E ★★★★★ | (2.5)
There is certainly potential here. I like the what and the where of this story, a broken hearted boy clutching a dear memory and reflecting on the past it had represented. But the organization needs some work. You have way more sentences than is needed.
I have a four-leaf clover. It is Lucky. It brings Hope. Instead try something like, A four-leaf clover, the very manifestation of luck that carried within it the promise of hope. The challenge of putting many entences together often creates a more alluring description as you are forced to consider how all these parts make a whole. I hope this helps.
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