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409 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there.
Very interesting poem. The rhyme scheme is unusual. I never would have found so many things to rhyme that fit. Plus, the switching of rhyme in the 4th and 8th lines worked for you. Is that a regular format or one you made up?
Sometimes, we want something to be sentimental and sweet. We want to believe that two people are meant for each other. Nicely written.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You had me at William Shatner. Had to read.
This was very cute. The doctor sounds like a quick thinker who is gentle with his patients. A very good scenario. I'm sure lots of actors in long term roles have some delusions when the memory starts to go.
Well written, entertaining.
Pumpkin
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Loved your story. It was very positive and uplifting. Pets can have a powerful effect on us. I remember putting down our sick, disabled dog. I was divorced, but we had shared custody of the dog, so we both took her to the vet. Afterwards, we stood out in the parking lot and cried our eyes out. Despite our differences, it was a shared pain.

I found no flaws in your writing and have no recommendations for editing.

Pumpkin
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Review of I am old  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, Sonali,

Why is it that when we say, "I'm old," no one argues with us or asks for further explanation?

Your very cute poem is relatable. I not only don't know young musicians, but other celebrities either. I remember being displeased when the older generation didn't like MY music.

Your rhyme is good, no errors. I liked it.

Pumpkin
5
5
Review of Not Inferior  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,
Found this poem under opinion genre.

You have a delightful poem describing the attitude of many men towards women. It's an old idea, but still lingers a bit, that women are the property of the husbands. Since men are built physically stronger than women, they have a sense of power over them. You mention "real man" in the end. It takes a real man to control his own power and put it to good use. I have seen too many women afraid of the man they are with.

You did a good job. I see no errors or corrections. No suggestions, except to keep writing.

Pumpkin
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Review of Diamond Dental  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there,

What a hoot. The very thought of jewelry in the mouth would take away my appetite. (Maybe I need that.)

Your poem was cute, and the vocabulary wonderful. You managed to rhyme some words not used every day. It did not sound sing song-y like some humorous poems. You also aligned they type to be visually appealing.

Good job.
Pumpkin
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Review of Country Pictures  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,
Found this under "Nature". Take my comments as merely my opinion. No offense or argument intended.

You do paint lovely, nostalgic pictures, and, yes, I often think of a simpler, healthier life. We long for the cozy, nostalgic homespun yesterdays. It also brought to mind the other side of the picture.

But I can't help but think of the hard times of drought, wind storms, and vermin. Then there's the hard work of picking the apples, tilling and weeding. You mentioned men pitching conversations, and I experienced that first hand as a child, yet I thought of them pitching hay to the animals. Of course, you rise before dawn to milk the cows and feed the chickens. At night, when you're weary, you are awakened by a fox or weasel in the hen house. The deer are pretty, but not while eating your corn or tomatoes.

It's easy to understand why folks were lured away to city life and make more money. I'd like to have a farm, but only if I could afford to pay someone else to do the farming.

Very nice poem. Good food for thought.

Only one technical comment: Gods should be God's.

Well done. Thanks for the lovely mental pictures and the peace they inspire.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Tim,
I enjoyed reading your poem, which I found under military.
It was nice to read something with pride and a positive outlook. I saw no flaws or technical problems.
I have no suggestions for improvement or correction. Please, continue to write more.
Best wishes to you.
Pumpkin
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Review of James Bond  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Browsing in Men's writing, found this.
Excellent poem. His coolness, derring-do, fashion sense, sharp appearance, and romantic appeal are all mentioned. Found a hint of humor. Wonderful tribute to a fine actor.
Enjoyed your poem.
Best wishes,
Pumpkin
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I found this under melodrama as I stroll thru genres.
I thought this was very interesting. It describes well a dead relationship with little regret.
The concepts of the chapter titles and the unwritten chapter added a lot.
I found no difficulties or suggestions.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Pumpkin
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there. Found you by browsing through the Internet genre.

I would agree with your basic premise: don't take what you read or hear at face value. All media have sponsors and bosses they are trying to please. So getting unbiased reporting is difficult. Commentary is not separated from reporting in many cases. Sensationalism gets more viewers.

You could have quoted Pope as well: "A little learning is a dangerous thing." I heard a rumor at a Shakespeare play just yesterday (you would think that audience would have clearer thinking). This is not related to your article, but the woman claimed to have read that the vaccination leads to dementia. How long does it take to study the development of dementia? The vaccinations have been available less than a year. But if the media says it, it must be so, according to some viewers. Proves your point.

The only recommendation I will make is to drop the word "Nowadays". It sounds a lot like the way opinion and rumors start out. The media of the past has been just as likely to be misleading. Yellow journalism and dime novels did a lot to spread bad information. We didn't call it media back then, so just mentioning media implies now.

Good job. Timely article.
Best wishes

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Review of Insomnia  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,
I actually found this under the medical genre. I sometimes have insomnia, but nothing like what you write.
I find no technical errors.
It's very easy to imagine nightmares, but your writer is wide awake or on the edge of sleep. It's kind of scary. The reader feels sympathy for the sleepless writer who must work to earn his daily dollar.
Well done, vividly written.
Pumpkin
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Review of The Ooze  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello, just browsing. This does have possibilities. You could take it in any direction.

Technicalities: I see no errors in spelling or punctuation or grammar.

General Remarks: There are good detailed descriptions. There is a feeling that the case is not going well, which leaves the possibility that the lawyer will find some way of turning it around, or not. Maybe it's a crooked judge. The stage is set for many possibilities.

Good job.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you for all that background. I love the way you end it with happiness glorifying God.
It was organized, well expressed, and logical. I am glad I took the time to read it.
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Review of All Lies  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,
I see you are new here. Welcome. I hope you enjoy and grow as a writer. Found you by genre.

This poem is tightly written, no excess words. You repeat the words lie and alive, really driving home your point. You get across the feelings of betrayal and discouragement quickly. It even had eye appeal.

The only thing that caught my eye is switching back and forth between "he" and "you". Choose one and be consistent throughout because of the brevity of the poem.

Very well done. Best wishes for much more writing.

Pumpkin
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Review of Lost on Route 66  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Found this under "ghost". Very interesting. I love tales told in an Irish brogue. True the world has changed, and they don't go for old tales any longer. Your poem was lovely. I guess they don't get their kicks on route 66 any more either.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm no expert. I only mean to be helpful, but may really miss the mark.

I can't tell if you're serious or making this up. It is listed as comedy. It makes me sad to read it. No one should call himself a school bus; that's just cruel.

As far as format is concerned, you might try spaces between paragraphs, especially since you don't indent. Your spelling and punctuation are perfect, no problems.

I know what you mean about other people giving advice. If they're not in your shoes, they think it's easy. I don't like that you put yourself down so often. I think you cut it off so soon and made a joke of it, because you don't want to face your feelings. No where in here, do I see any true feelings or see that this could be motivation. It sounds like a cry for help. You aroused empathy in me.

Again, your writing is fine. You express yourself well. Keep writing about other issues in your life and you will develop a really good voice. It looks like you're fairly new to WDC. I hope you enjoy it. Most folks are very kind and accepting.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Cute poem. We're with you. Knowing what we ought to do is not always what we really want to do. Sometimes thinking about my doctor chiding me is the only thing that makes me make the right choice. You're right about the labels; reading them in the store makes shopping take longer.
Keep up the inspiration. (I didn't find any faults with your work.)
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Found your item randomly. As with all reviews, take what I say with a grain of salt.

It's actually an excellent little story, despite its brevity and lack of action.

It's clear, flows well. No typos. I did find one technicality: You're talking about one girl, but ask the question "Why are they. . ." Shouldn't it be "Why is she..."

Overall, very good job.

Pumpkin
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Review of Ravyn  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Found this under friendship.
I loved it. It's so picturesque. I could see the mud on her clothes and hear her laughing with the other children. What a wonderful childhood. Mother Nature provides plenty of toys and activities. The poet's warm feelings for this child comes through clearly.
Great job.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
Found this under "Foreign". Fascinating and important. I wasn't aware of some of the geography you pointed out concerning their navy. It's a little bit short. Perhaps you could add just a few items of interest, say expand on the Indian navy, besides the submarine fleet. Maybe just one sentence to give authority to your first statement about the Chinese, like how do you know this?
Very important data.
Spelling and grammar are just fine.
Thanks for sharing with us.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Just a random review. I find no technical errors, like spelling or punctuation.
You tell a lot in a short paragraph; a lot of emotion comes through.
Sometimes people are like that. You capture a real life experience very well. We can't predict a person's behavior, and they don't always turn out to be what we want. It was a good experience but it's over.
'Develop these ideas some more in future writings.
Pumpkin
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
1 How beautiful! And what a different perspective. You combined prose and poetry. Very nice for the reader.
I realize it's a contest, and it is probably too late to make changes. In the second paragraph before the poem, you wrote "it's speed". There should be no apostrophe. And a grammar stickler would tell you not to end a sentence with "of" in the next paragraph. It still makes sense if you just drop the of.

I hope you fare very well in the writer's cramp.
I really enjoyed reading this.
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Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,
Found this under finance. Haven't noticed you in a while. Good to find this piece.
It has a nice format. Colors add a lot to it.

I read somewhere recently that having a lot of money or the shiny things it buys is not the big deal. But not having money restricts your creativity and productivity. The lack of money limits your charity and may even make you a burden to someone else. Having money is a good thing because you will be able to share, take care of your family, and be charitable. How we get the money must be honorable, too.

You do a nice job of breaking up tithes, offerings, savings, and management. Your spelling and grammar are very good. I find no technical flaws. However, I did notice a lot of very long sentences. If you're writing down to an audience who might really need this info, you may need shorter complete sentences to keep them involved.

Otherwise, great job. Keep it up.
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Review of Big-Hair Sam  
Review by pumpkin
Rated: E | (4.5)
Found this under "Fashion" while browsing through genres.

I loved it. Bouncy and upbeat, he told a great story. Follow your dream despite the naysayers, work at it, and indeed, you will be more than just beautiful hair. You told your story with humor.

The only technical point I found was the next to last line. It should be misled. It may not be spelled like head, but it rhymes.

Good job.
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