Hellfire's (hellfire999) Reviews

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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Great Souls  

Review by hellfire999Mail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello,
The work you put here shows the raw emotions you have in you. Only the writing can be more polished. And that's the good think "you can learn good writing, but you can't teach raw emotions to someone."

You have a basic writing with deep emotions.
Work on wording, phrasing and rhyming.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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2

Review of The Mask  

Review by hellfire999Mail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Elizabeth,

I really like the way you portrait the feeling of want to be beautiful, it's felt like I was their beside you. The first paragraph was excellent.

But in my opinion you rushed the mask scene. The pain is there but it can b more horrifying. Phasing could be more effective as for now it reads like a paragraph there's no breathing space the scenes required to shine.

It a good work just with some phasing and rhythm it can be excellent.